Brexit Opportunities Minister? Surely that wasn't a real thing?
The most absurd thing about it was, after not being able to find any opportunities himself, he asked the sun and express readers to provide their own examples. He got over 2000 replies apparently and published the best 9, and when you read them it's obvious why they couldn't print a tenth.
No word of a lie, the list was
1) Allowing fracking, which we already controlled.
2) Getting more powerful vacuum cleaners, because we all want to waste electricity.
3) Removing regulations on GM crops so we could get them in our diet before we know whether they're safe. Probably makes sense if you're willing to vote for Brexit.
4) Removing limits on HGV driving times, because there just aren't enough accidents caused by tired and overworked lorry drivers.
5) Allowing more powerful batteries on pedal bikes, when the UK actually had and have stricter regulations than the EU anyway.
6) Shorten training for medical professionals. Quite honest of them to recognise that Brexit fecked the NHS tbh, and when the ambulance you called takes 4 days to arrive you won't care that the paramedic isn't properly trained.
7) Make it easier to exploit agency workers. Probably needed when you've stopped the supply of labour from europe.
8) Simplify holiday pay by changing it from 12.07%. Again, probably needed when when people were stupid enough to feck themselves over by voting for Brexit.
9) Reduce requirements for businesses to conduct fire testing on electrical equipment, because not enough people die in fires.