Gaming The Europa Universalis 4 Experiment II (sign ups for Experiment III open)

Uh oh Catholic bros. The reformation has started. Protestantism has spawned in Sweden and @Solius is the first to adopt the faith. Will the Emperor be able to stamp out this heresy and Solius' foul teachings?

It is also spreading to @SilentWitness lands who so far remains faithful to the Pope.

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In perhaps the most one sided war so far, @Salt Bailly decided to attack @The Cat. The Cat was no longer allied to P-Nut and under his protection. I guess The Cat had refused to aid the Mamluks vs the Ottomans.

In any case, Salt Bailly didn't feel confident taking on The Cat alone.

So he invited @nimic to help him
And @Simbo
And @Shakesey

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I'm not going to lie. It seemed a tad overkill.

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No prizes for guessing the winner.

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In other news:

  1. Emperor Crackers died. The Imperial Diet convened and again voted Crackers to replace himself, albeit by a smaller margin this time. hobbers continued his dirty protest by refusing to vote for Crackers and voted for Landshut again. The new Emperor quickly enacted another Imperial reform but it’s too shit to screenshot.
  2. PSV keeps threatening Brittany, so Shakesey allied them. Bold move.
  3. The Pope excommunicated Organic Potatoes. Who then became Pope himself a few years later upon the old Popes death, and he immediately called for a crusade on altodevil.
  4. altodevil continued not giving any fecks, after beating P-Nut he immediately declared war on the Knights of Rhodes, who were allied to Organic Potatoes. Venice answered the call to arms, marched into Bosnia and got annihilated. The Ottomans landed in Venice itself and Organic Potatoes was forced to cede 4 provinces to altodevil. The Knights were annexed..
  5. nimic is rapidly expanding Brazil by attacking the strange Scousers
  6. The coalition is still too scared to declare war on altodevil
  7. Cheimoon is running around cleaning up altodevils rebels like a good little ****
  8. maniak’s vassal is colonising Canada.
  9. Crackers formed a union with Hainaut, bordering PSV.
 
WI_Red said:
This experiment encouraged me to fire up a game of EU4 and play with Naples. It's 1462 and I was somehow just elected Emperor of the HRE :lol: . Can you use my save file?
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Nice one!

Hopefully you'll have more luck than on here. :nervous:
 
Well, I always wanted a sugar daddy mommy tbf.

edit: ok she's 9 but... different times.
 
Phil Jones Face said:
  1. Emperor Crackers died. The Imperial Diet convened and again voted Crackers to replace himself, albeit by a smaller margin this time. hobbers continued his dirty protest by refusing to vote for Crackers and voted for Landshut again. The new Emperor quickly enacted another Imperial reform but it’s too shit to screenshot.
  2. PSV keeps threatening Brittany, so Shakesey allied them. Bold move.
  3. The Pope excommunicated Organic Potatoes. Who then became Pope himself a few years later upon the old Popes death, and he immediately called for a crusade on altodevil.
  4. altodevil continued not giving any fecks, after beating P-Nut he immediately declared war on the Knights of Rhodes, who were allied to Organic Potatoes. Venice answered the call to arms, marched into Bosnia and got annihilated. The Ottomans landed in Venice itself and Organic Potatoes was forced to cede 4 provinces to altodevil. The Knights were annexed..
  5. nimic is rapidly expanding Brazil by attacking the strange Scousers
  6. The coalition is still too scared to declare war on altodevil
  7. Cheimoon is running around cleaning up altodevils rebels like a good little ****
  8. maniak’s vassal is colonising Canada.
  9. Crackers formed a union with Hainaut, bordering PSV.
Click to expand...
All good, Somebody's gotta do the ****'s work while @altodevil is doing the lord's work. Just happy to be alive and part of something big.
 
And it's the event everybody in Iberia has been waiting for. The culmination of years of cousin fecking - the union of Castille and Aragon.

Hail King @Simbo and Queen @nimic, rulers of the Spanish empire.

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(it's fate. I was asking nimic for advice before the game on how to solve the Castille/Aragon tag conundrum, he suggested combining the two countries.. and then he randomed Castille)


But on a sadder note, as with life, we must also embrace death.

Despite being guaranteed by @altodevil and under his protection, MadDogg decided to ally Shirvan, a minor country in the caucuses. Which also happen to be where the Ottomans are expanding (where aren't they, tbh?). altodevil declared war on Shirvan and MadDogg could have backed down and declined the invitation to war, but he didn't. He said "you know what, we're tired of your bullshit Mr Sultan. And we aren't going to take any more of it. Brothers, are you with me???????"

So altodevil killed him.

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F's in the chat for @MadDogg please. He joins @Eboue in heaven





Now, time to hold my hands up. I sort of blinked and missed @altodevil and @Dr. Dwayne some how ending up being in a war. I think my tears from MadDogg's death obscured the view. Basically, the Ottomans declared war on Circassia and the Muscovites defended them. Dr. Dwayne didn't lose any land. Just a lot of gold. 35 years worth of gold income, to be precise.

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I did however see this event. It was brilliant. One of the very best. Well worth missing the Ottomans and Muscovites duke it out.

@Solius killed a few farmers.

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In other news:

  1. Salt Bailly is going wild in Mexico, attacking in all directions.
  2. altodevil is attacking Kazan. I think he’s attempting to replicate Around the World in 80 Days.
  3. GreatDane and maniak have joined Solius in embracing the Protestant faith. The lines are being set in northern Europe..
  4. Hussitism has spawned in Prague! But hobbers remains a faithful Catholic so far.
  5. Crackers is doing Emperor things and demanding minor HRE countries return provinces to one another.
  6. PSV continues cockblocking RedSky by allying Genoa.
  7. Shakesey has finally got exploration ideas. Is he going to dip his toe into the atlantic? No, no probably not.
 
How's the mighty Brandenburg reich forming?

I used to love Civilization back in the day, but this is slightly confusing to me :p
 
Apparently, I've decided to just sit back and enjoy pasta and wine and let the world condense around me. Sounds about right.
 
Phil Jones Face said:
Kazan declared war on MadDogg, in revenge for MadDogg’s earlier aggression against them. MadDogg lost a further 50% of hist territory. altodevil didn’t look favourably upon Dr Dwayne or Kazan bullying MadDogg. The Ottomans have guaranteed The Great Horde’s independence, giving them a lifeline
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I always knew @altodevil was an awesome guy, and I look forward to working with him for centuries to come.

Phil Jones Face said:
Despite being guaranteed by @altodevil and under his protection, MadDogg decided to ally Shirvan, a minor country in the caucuses. Which also happen to be where the Ottomans are expanding (where aren't they, tbh?). altodevil declared war on Shirvan and MadDogg could have backed down and declined the invitation to war, but he didn't. He said "you know what, we're tired of your bullshit Mr Sultan. And we aren't going to take any more of it. Brothers, are you with me???????"

So altodevil killed him.
Click to expand...
Son of a bitch!
 
Okay. So this became messy.

@WI_Red , the most sought after bachelor in Europe, broke free of his overlord PSV and ran away from the French king.

WI_Red wrote a long bucket list of things that he planned to do with his new fangled freedom - pick wild flowers, stick a knife in the Popes back, stay independent for longer than 5 years, the usual. @nimic - @Simbo rubbed their hands together gleefully and convinced WI_Red to marry them (he's of Castillian heritage and also likely to be a close relative). @PSV got really angry at the news, sent WI_Red some threatening messages and declared war on him in a restoration of union CB. nimic-Simbo decided they didn’t like the French bullying their Castillian cousin one bit.

So they declared war on WI_Red with a restoration of union CB too.

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nimic-Simbo didn't stop there, though. They also called Shakesey into this war to help them vs Naples, because they seem to think they're the Hardy Boyz and have a habit of tagging him into their Iberian wrestling rings.

Both PSV and nimic-Simbo landed in Naples. nimic-Simbo killed WI_Reds armies, but crucially PSV instead focused on avoiding engagements and sieging down the major forts. This gave him the required warscore to force WI_Red back under a personal union with France before the Spanish could.

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All sorted?

No.

Because WI_Red had been at war with nimic-Simbo, it then dragged PSV into a defensive war against them to in order, to defend Naples. This meant nimic-Simbo’s armies were now stranded in Italy, surrounded by the combined Neopolitan-French armies and hemmed in by forts. This also meant that new fronts had opened up on the Spanish-Italian pyrenees border and in English Normandy.

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But we don't stop there. Threatened by a war on 3 fronts, PSV decided to call in some favours and has set off a chain reaction of alliances, with @Organic Potatoes, Scotland, Siena and Genoa all joining PSV's call to "defend" WI_Red.

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In other news:

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Shakesey has been keeping a keen eye on the reformation sweeping northern Europe. Not content with Solius taking all the glory in leading the protestant princes in breaking away from Rome, Shakesey felt he needed to one up his Swedish ally. By creating a new breakaway church. Named after himself.

Emperor @Crackers and Pope Organic Potatoes are tearing their hair out at the disentegration of Catholicism. We now have 4 breakaway sects in Europe - the Protestants, the Hussites, the Reformed and the Shakesey.
 
The war got off to a good start for @nimic - @Simbo. They defeated 1/3 of @PSV's armies in Salento and beat his navy in the Bay of Tripoli. The remaining 2/3 of PSV's forces headed straight for @Shakesey possessions in Normandy, which were undefended. Shakesey, frustrated by decades of Scottish insolence and arse slapping at the border, decided to send everything to deal with the rebellious Scots: by sitting in Ireland. nimic-Simbo would have to deal with the French alone.

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Despite defeat in the first Italian battle, PSV had been buying time for his Venetian ally @Organic Potatoes to arrive. The 60 ship Venetian fleet smashed into the Spanish navy and routed them. The Venetian armies hurried to Salento and narrowly beat the bruised Spanish army which retreated to Sicily, where Organic Potatoes followed them.

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But it was a trap! The Spaniards sent the Venetian's packing.

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With nimic-Simbo's initial victories reversed and Shakesey doing Shakesey things, the Spaniards decided they had no choice but to go for the nuclear option. Crackling glass shattered over the PA system.

They tagged in Stone Cold @Salt Bailly

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Meanwhile, PSV sieged down all of Shakesey held France and taunted him when he asked for them back.



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And on the Scottish front, Shakesey still sits in Ireland.

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Can Stone Cold Steve save the Hardy Boyz?
 
@Shakesey the great tactician and head of the Church of Shakesey decided the allied strategy wasn't working and that he would personally need to commandeer the Spanish-Portuguese war efforts. He shipped his army that had been defending Ireland from a Scottish force 1/2 the size to Portugal, to meet the @PSV invasion.

But then he ran away again.

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In Naples, there was a back and forth between @nimic - @Simbo and @Organic Potatoes over @WI_Red's lands. Southern Italy must have changed hands 3 or 4 times. With the Venetian control of the seas, nimic-Simbo were unable to reinforce their original Italian army and eventually the Venetians hemmed them in.

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In Spain, there were bloody battles over Madrid and Cuenca which the allies largely won, without Shakesey's assistance who by now seemed to be roleplaying as a conscientious objector.

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In the end though, both sides grew tired of the war and peace talks begun.

nimic-Simbo left with their heads held high and honour intact.
Shakesey lost some of his French possesions and his new south American colonies.
And WI_Red remained PSV's bitch.

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The final losses were:

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In other news:


  1. Crackers formed a personal union with Brabant.
  2. maniak and Scotland are now colonising north America
  3. Shakesey is colonising south America
  4. Emperor Crackers died. The electors voted overwhelmingly for Crackers to replace himself. The only dissenting vote was hobbers, who after the 3rd attempt, realised this time that he could actually vote for himself instead of Landshut. So he did.
  5. altodevil did altodevil things
 
nimic said:
@Phil Jones Face did you forget to change WI_Red's adjectives? Since it still says Neapolitan. I guess nimic-Simboan-WI-Redian War would be a mouthful.
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Yes and no.

You remember that headache I had changing all the tags? Well, we worked it out.

Then the very next day (the day the run started), Pdox released a new patch. And it reset all the tags again. I cried. A lot.
 
Phil Jones Face said:
Yes and no.

You remember that headache I had changing all the tags? Well, we worked it out.

Then the very next day (the day the run started), Pdox released a new patch. And it reset all the tags again. I cried. A lot.
Click to expand...

Classic :lol:

That's why I am considering making a very simple mod, if I ever do it like that. I might just stick to the custom nations. A benefit is that I think that particular information is in the save file for custom nations.
 
1544 - 100 year update
1544 - 100 year update

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Skanderbeg isn't working right now, so manually having to update the stats. Without it, I'm going to assume colonies provide 50% value.


Development (value of provinces):


  1. altodevil: 1382 (unchanged)
  2. nimic-Simbo 1055 (new entry)
  3. PSV: 841 (-1)
  4. Salt Bailly 693 (+5)
  5. Dr. Dwayne: 597 (-1)
  6. P-Nut: 574 (-2)
  7. Shakesey: 551 (-1)
  8. Dan 540 (-3)
  9. maniak: 350 (new entry)
  10. hobbers: 263 (new entry)


Land army size:


  1. altodevil: 171,000 (unchanged)
  2. nimic-Simbo: 139,000 (new entry)
  3. PSV: 114,000 (-1)
  4. P-Nut: 66,000 (-1)
  5. Dan: 62,000 (-1)
  6. Crackers: 58,000 (-1)
  7. Dr. Dwayne: 56,000 (+1)
  8. Salt Bailly 48,000 (new entry)
  9. Shakesey: 44,000 (-2)
  10. Organic Potatoes: 39,000 (new entry)
...
...
...
99999. Cheimoon the ****: 14,000 (unchanged)



Navy size:


  1. altodevil: 100 (unchanged)
  2. nimic-Simbo: 86 (new entry)
  3. Salt Bailly: 68 (new entry)
  4. maniak: 60 (+3)
  5. Shakesey: 58 (-2)
  6. Organic Potatoes: 49 (+1)
  7. PSV: 45 (-1)
  8. P-Nut: 36 (-4)
  9. Solius: 35 (-1)
  10. SilentWitness: 30 (new entry)

Total income:

  1. altodevil: 156 (unchanged)
  2. nimic-Simbo: 129 (new entry)
  3. PSV: 87 (unchanged)
  4. Salt Bailly: 83 (+6)
  5. Shakesey: 70 (unchanged)
  6. P-Nut; 69 (-2)
  7. Organic Potatoes: 65 (-1)
  8. Dan: 62 (-1)
  9. Dr. Dwayne: 51 (-1)
  10. maniak: 49 (new entry)

Mana generated (i.e, how lucky you've been with your monarch spawn stats or events and how much you've spent improving your country):


No skanderbeg = no party. Let's just assume altodevil is getting all the luck again.


Ideas chosen (provide important buffs, generated by mana):

21: nimic-Simbo, Organic Potatoes, RedSky, PSV, Shakesey, altodevil, maniak
20: P-Nut, SilentWitness, Crackers, Cheimoon
19: hobbers, Dan, Solius
18: WI_Red, Salt Bailly
15. Dr. Dwayne
14: GreatDane
13: The Cat


Army casualties (in combat + attrition:)


  1. altodevil: 731,000 (unchanged)
  2. PSV: 369,000 (unchanged)
  3. nimic-Simbo: 352,000 (new entry)
  4. P-Nut: 305,000 (+2)
  5. Dr. Dwayne: 299,000 (+2)
  6. Organic Potatoes: 199,000 (+3)
  7. Shakesey: 184,000 (-3)
  8. Dan: 175,000 (-3)
  9. Solius: 146,000 (new entry)
  10. Salt Bailly: 135,000 (new entry)

Navy casualties:


  1. Organic Potatoes: 62 (unchanged)
  2. nimic-Simbo: 36 (new entry)
  3. WI_Red: 30 (+4)
  4. PSV: 30 (+4)
  5. Salt Bailly: 24 (new entry)
  6. The Cat: 23 (-3)
  7. altodevil: 21 (+3)
  8. Solius: 21 (-6)
  9. Shakesey: 19 (-3)
  10. maniak: 15 (-5)


Dead players:


  1. Eboue (absorbed by PSV via personal union)
  2. MadDogg (killed by altodevil)

Religious map

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Tech map (the greener you are, the more tech you've embraced and the bigger advantages you have over your neighbours):

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The state of the HRE. It is close to passing the first reform, which gives the Emperor more diplomats and better diplomatic reputation:

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The dynastic map:

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In other news:


  1. Salt Bailly continues stealing Aztec gold.
  2. maniak annexed Norway through his personal union, thereby also inheriting their Canadian possessions. He has been attacking the tribes in Florida.
  3. SilentWitness picked up exploration ideas and started colonising Canada.
  4. Solius picked exploration ideas and started colonising south America
  5. hobbers inherited the throne of Wolgast through his personal union . He now has access to the Baltics.
  6. Shakesey broke his alliance with Salt Bailly. What’s he going to do, tickle him to death???
 
I've just got this game on the back of this. Now I just need some spare months to work it out.
 
Phil Jones Face said:
Land army size:
  1. altodevil: 171,000 (unchanged)
  2. nimic-Simbo: 139,000 (new entry)
  3. PSV: 114,000 (-1)
  4. P-Nut: 66,000 (-1)
  5. Dan: 62,000 (-1)
  6. Crackers: 58,000 (-1)
  7. Dr. Dwayne: 56,000 (+1)
  8. Salt Bailly 48,000 (new entry)
  9. Shakesey: 44,000 (-2)
  10. Organic Potatoes: 39,000 (new entry)
...
...
...
99999. Cheimoon the ****: 14,000 (unchanged)
Click to expand...
Aw, you're still thinking of me!

Am I actually doing anything with that terrifying army, or am I just biding my time till Altodevil implodes and I can be free again?
 
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