The feck?! I'm out?
Gaming The Europa Universalis 4 Experiment II (sign ups for Experiment III open)
- Thread starter Phil Jones Face
- Start date
Not quite. You're under a personal union with maniak. You still exist as a country, but maniak controls your foreign policy. If he goes to war, he drags you along with him, etc.
Dan has intervened to stop that.
Just think of yourself as a bigger and stronger @WI_Red
I think he might be confused at his name being gone. Didn't it work to edit Russia in the localization file?
After 200 years of pizza and wine and am confident I got bigger covered.
Nope, nor the text_I_english folder either. I spent a solid 20 minutes scrolling through english files (there's 126 of them) and couldn't find the trigger. Gave up in the end.
Crazy. Any chance of a Dr. restoration?
So you found the one in the text_I_english localization file? I can't see any reason why it's even there, since it's in the main localization file to begin with:
reb:0 "Rebels"
rus:0 "Russia"
swe:0 "Sweden"
I used Notepad++ to bulk search through every single of the localization files with the word "english" in their title for the following string, and it could only find that one and the one in countries_I_english.
Last guy who didn't accept my benevolent rule went the way of the dodo so think twice about these silly promises of independence @Dr. Dwayne
Yes. Dan can fight to break you free.
Or claim you for himself.
ffs
. I must have butchered it somehow when editing. Maybe dropped a " or something. It's working now.ffs
I'm a genius????
Also while trying to think of other ways to fix the problem (ways which didn't and honestly couldn't work), I discovered a possible way to avoid having to reload the save every time to get the country interests. There's a "run" command, which runs a .txt file in the EU4 folder in Documents, and there's a command to add country tags. add_interest [<Country tag>]. I was thinking of whenever I do another one myself, I'd add all tags in that file, then run the file. No idea if it works (it's Paradox), but hey... maybe!
THE GREAT NORTHERN WAR
Out of the darkness and haze of the Volga basin, they emerge. A hundred thousand hooves pound the ground with primal rhythm and the earth shakes. Ethereal plumes, extending like celestial wings, are set against the sky. Their resplendent armour gleams like a thousand suns.
They have come.
The Winged Hussars.
The Great Northern War (more commonly known as the War for @Dr. Dwayne's ass) begun in August 1681 with the invasion of the vast Russian steppes. The two alliances were evenly matched at onset. The Russo-Dane alliance boasted slightly more infantry, a much bigger navy and larger army reserves, while the Polish-Lithuanians possessed more artillery and twice as much cavalry.
The war goal of the campaign, Moskva, was situated right on the long land border with Lithuania. While dangerously exposed, the Russian capital possessed a mighty level 7 fort. In order to win the war, the Danes would need to mobilise, link up with the Russians and secure the besieged city before @Dan over ran them. He sent 75,000 cannons to bombard Moskva into submission, while the rest of his army pivoted towards St. Petersburg in anticipation of the Danish advance.
Russo-Danish co-ordination was flawed at the start. Despite possessing an overwhelming naval advantage, the Russians were caught in the Baltic sea by Dan and @maniak refused to help Dr. Dwayne. Instead of sallying from Gotland to aid his ally, the Danish fleet sailed past and towards Finland to launch an amphibious assault on Riga.
The Poles were prepared for this however. Waiting until the Danes had fully disembarked, the Poles threw their heavy cavalry at the surprised Danes and slaughtered them on the beaches. The Danish fleet retreated without attempting to evacuated the trapped army.
The besieged defenders of Moskva held out for 10 months, buying the allies invaluable time to assemble. In June, Dr. Dwayne had begun gathering his armies and arrived in Tikvhin, with the rest streaming in from the far East . His navy was yet again caught in the Gulf of Riga and battered and his army defeated at Ingermanland as a Danish detachment nearby ran away. There was no sign of the promised Danish armies. What was maniak doing?
Well, it looks like he decided to focus on SilentWitness' arch enemy Utrecht instead, but was taking some heavy losses in the process. By October maniak had lost 96k troops to Utrecht's 82k, despite having 3x the larger army. Divide and conquer isn't necessarily a bad tactic, but the Danes were in a race against time here and I don't think maniak realised the stopwatch had started. The Danes should have been in the Russian steppes. Instead, maniak found himself on the naughty step for dicking about in the Dutch poppy fields.
Sensing the lack of co-ordination, the Polish zerg swarm begun to roll across Russia. Keen observers will also notice that the Poles caught the Russian fleet at sea for the third time. And for the third time, maniak refused to help them. Had Great Shakesey sold him one of his caribbean cruise tours?
Here's another Russian retreat and one for the Russian tugboat voyeurs.
The battles between Dan and Dr. Dwayne were tense and hung in the balance as the Russian reinforcements streamed in from China, but he kept routing them from the field.
With the war raging on for 4 years and Finland now in flames, maniak panicked and decided to march on Poland and besieged Poznan. Which is rather ironic, because it feels like his strategy up until now had been to do the Poznan - that is to say, he had turned his back on Dr. Dwayne.
maniak soon came to his senses when the Poles begun marching triumphantly through Scandinavia.. The Russian armies were shattered in the field and its navies at the bottom of the sea, waiting for millionaires with joystick submarines to visit them in a few centuries time. He couldn't stop the Polish war machine. maniak asked for terms and they met.
"We humbly submit to you, your grace" whispered maniak, ashamed.
Dr. Dwayne sprang forward, prostrating himself on the floor before Dan.
"My savour, my Prince!" Dr. Dwayne cried, kissing Dan's feet. "you have saved me from the evil maniak"
Dan looked Dr. Dwayne up and down, then back at maniak.
"Err.. yeah, no thanks. You can keep him"
Dan turned around and left.
Despite possessing over 40% warscore and clearly winning, Dan decided Dr. Dwayne wasn't worth emancipating. He took the Danish gold and left. Dr. Dwayne remains in a personal union under maniak.
Out of the darkness and haze of the Volga basin, they emerge. A hundred thousand hooves pound the ground with primal rhythm and the earth shakes. Ethereal plumes, extending like celestial wings, are set against the sky. Their resplendent armour gleams like a thousand suns.
They have come.
The Winged Hussars.
The Great Northern War (more commonly known as the War for @Dr. Dwayne's ass) begun in August 1681 with the invasion of the vast Russian steppes. The two alliances were evenly matched at onset. The Russo-Dane alliance boasted slightly more infantry, a much bigger navy and larger army reserves, while the Polish-Lithuanians possessed more artillery and twice as much cavalry.
The war goal of the campaign, Moskva, was situated right on the long land border with Lithuania. While dangerously exposed, the Russian capital possessed a mighty level 7 fort. In order to win the war, the Danes would need to mobilise, link up with the Russians and secure the besieged city before @Dan over ran them. He sent 75,000 cannons to bombard Moskva into submission, while the rest of his army pivoted towards St. Petersburg in anticipation of the Danish advance.
Russo-Danish co-ordination was flawed at the start. Despite possessing an overwhelming naval advantage, the Russians were caught in the Baltic sea by Dan and @maniak refused to help Dr. Dwayne. Instead of sallying from Gotland to aid his ally, the Danish fleet sailed past and towards Finland to launch an amphibious assault on Riga.
The Poles were prepared for this however. Waiting until the Danes had fully disembarked, the Poles threw their heavy cavalry at the surprised Danes and slaughtered them on the beaches. The Danish fleet retreated without attempting to evacuated the trapped army.
The besieged defenders of Moskva held out for 10 months, buying the allies invaluable time to assemble. In June, Dr. Dwayne had begun gathering his armies and arrived in Tikvhin, with the rest streaming in from the far East . His navy was yet again caught in the Gulf of Riga and battered and his army defeated at Ingermanland as a Danish detachment nearby ran away. There was no sign of the promised Danish armies. What was maniak doing?
Well, it looks like he decided to focus on SilentWitness' arch enemy Utrecht instead, but was taking some heavy losses in the process. By October maniak had lost 96k troops to Utrecht's 82k, despite having 3x the larger army. Divide and conquer isn't necessarily a bad tactic, but the Danes were in a race against time here and I don't think maniak realised the stopwatch had started. The Danes should have been in the Russian steppes. Instead, maniak found himself on the naughty step for dicking about in the Dutch poppy fields.
Sensing the lack of co-ordination, the Polish zerg swarm begun to roll across Russia. Keen observers will also notice that the Poles caught the Russian fleet at sea for the third time. And for the third time, maniak refused to help them. Had Great Shakesey sold him one of his caribbean cruise tours?
Here's another Russian retreat and one for the Russian tugboat voyeurs.
The battles between Dan and Dr. Dwayne were tense and hung in the balance as the Russian reinforcements streamed in from China, but he kept routing them from the field.
With the war raging on for 4 years and Finland now in flames, maniak panicked and decided to march on Poland and besieged Poznan. Which is rather ironic, because it feels like his strategy up until now had been to do the Poznan - that is to say, he had turned his back on Dr. Dwayne.
maniak soon came to his senses when the Poles begun marching triumphantly through Scandinavia.. The Russian armies were shattered in the field and its navies at the bottom of the sea, waiting for millionaires with joystick submarines to visit them in a few centuries time. He couldn't stop the Polish war machine. maniak asked for terms and they met.
"We humbly submit to you, your grace" whispered maniak, ashamed.
Dr. Dwayne sprang forward, prostrating himself on the floor before Dan.
"My savour, my Prince!" Dr. Dwayne cried, kissing Dan's feet. "you have saved me from the evil maniak"
Dan looked Dr. Dwayne up and down, then back at maniak.
"Err.. yeah, no thanks. You can keep him"
Dan turned around and left.
Despite possessing over 40% warscore and clearly winning, Dan decided Dr. Dwayne wasn't worth emancipating. He took the Danish gold and left. Dr. Dwayne remains in a personal union under maniak.
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FFS.
@Dan you played a great war. You could have won these fabulous prizes.
Now let's see what you chose.
Oh.
Now let's see what you chose.
Oh.
Errm, is this a good thing?
This playthrough is only ending one way: with HRH Cristiano Ronaldo dos Santos Aveiro sat upon a throne as King of the Earth.
Will anybody save Dr. Evil from maniak's clutches?
How about Team @nimic - @Simbo, feck yeah!
Unimpressed with Dan’s attempt at liberatingmaniak's gold Dr. Dwayne, nimic-Simbo decided they needed to stop beating up aboriginees and start policing the world. They pledged their support for the former Tsar @Dr. Dwayne.
@maniak promptly shat his pantaloons and immediately renounced his personal union with Dr. Dwayne, who is now free.
@altodevil has proclaimed a hegemony, he is so rich. I wonder if RedSky had been throwing money at him like a stripper too..
And finally, Great @Shakesy declared war on Fulo, one of the major African tribes. This in itself wouldn’t usually warrant a write up, but @SilentWitness had decided on his backpacking tour of Africa to ally them. When the declaration came through, SilentWitness simply picked up his gear, said “I guess I’ll be on my way then” and walked off into the sunset.
In addition to having Skynet and the terminators after him, SilentWitness now has Agent Smith hunting him down.
In other news:
How about Team @nimic - @Simbo, feck yeah!
Unimpressed with Dan’s attempt at liberating
@maniak promptly shat his pantaloons and immediately renounced his personal union with Dr. Dwayne, who is now free.
@altodevil has proclaimed a hegemony, he is so rich. I wonder if RedSky had been throwing money at him like a stripper too..
And finally, Great @Shakesy declared war on Fulo, one of the major African tribes. This in itself wouldn’t usually warrant a write up, but @SilentWitness had decided on his backpacking tour of Africa to ally them. When the declaration came through, SilentWitness simply picked up his gear, said “I guess I’ll be on my way then” and walked off into the sunset.
In addition to having Skynet and the terminators after him, SilentWitness now has Agent Smith hunting him down.
In other news:
- Battered after the Danish/Polish war, maniak stopped supporting Salt Bailly’s colonial independence.
- hobbers has allied maniak
- Salt Bailly’s war in India went poorly and he white peaced out.
- Crackers allied Dr. Dwayne after his new found freedom.
We gotchu @Dr. Dwayne
Free at last, free at last!
Thanks nimic and Simbo.
Thanks nimic and Simbo.
Dwazza is under my protection
Will anybody save Dr. Evil from maniak's clutches?
How about Team @nimic - @Simbo, feck yeah!
Unimpressed with Dan’s attempt at liberatingmaniak's goldDr. Dwayne, nimic-Simbo decided they needed to stop beating up aboriginees and start policing the world. They pledged their support for the former Tsar @Dr. Dwayne.
@maniak promptly shat his pantaloons and immediately renounced his personal union with Dr. Dwayne, who is now free.
@altodevil has proclaimed a hegemony, he is so rich. I wonder if RedSky had been throwing money at him like a stripper too..
And finally, Great @Shakesy declared war on Fulo, one of the major African tribes. This in itself wouldn’t usually warrant a write up, but @SilentWitness had decided on his backpacking tour of Africa to ally them. When the declaration came through, SilentWitness simply picked up his gear, said “I guess I’ll be on my way then” and walked off into the sunset.
In addition to having Skynet and the terminators after him, SilentWitness now has Agent Smith hunting him down.
In other news:
- Battered after the Danish/Polish war, maniak stopped supporting Salt Bailly’s colonial independence.
- hobbers has allied maniak
- Salt Bailly’s war in India went poorly and he white peaced out.
- Crackers allied Dr. Dwayne after his new found freedom.
Can’t stop me and the pit stop boys.
Meanwhile, in Naples....er WI_RED:
I have a sneaking suspicion @hobbers might be beginning to regret his nominations to the Emperor title. There’s a saying: with great power comes great responsibility. Unfortunately for him, there isn't much power associated with the HRE after 200 years of @Crackers stewardship, but it still draws all the trappings of responsibility.
hobbers, pleading the HRE princes to stop voting for him.
@PSV has declared war upon Strasbourg, a one province state in the HRE, bringing along @Organic Potatoes as an ally for the ride. Defending Strasbourgian sovereignty is Emperor hobbers, the battered @maniak and a rag tag bunch of HRE provinces. The odds are heavily stacked in the Franco-Venetian alliance.
maniak’s generals looked to redeem themselves after their shameful performance in the Danish/Polish war a few years back by charging headlong into the Westphalian armies (victory) then the French (loss) at the beginning of the war.
It looks like hobbers hoped to tap the Venetian’s out of the war early by sieging them down, but without a fleet to launch an invasion of Venice itself, the plan was doomed to fail and they couldn't capitalise on their early gains.
While PSV pushed through central Germany and sieged down hobbers, Organic Potatoes marched towards the Baltics but was badly beaten.
It was a particularly bloody war with with many lopsided battles. The French inflicted some some very heavy casualties on the Dano/Bohemian allies.
Once the French begun marching on Denmark, the allies sensed the futility of ruining their country for a one province HRE nation and sued for peace.
The terms were exceedingly generous to hobbers and mania, all considered.. While PSV did make territorial gains in seperate peace deals with the minor countries, the main deal was largely an exchange of coin. The Bohemians/Danish lost no land.
Meanwhile...
hobbers, pleading the HRE princes to stop voting for him.
@PSV has declared war upon Strasbourg, a one province state in the HRE, bringing along @Organic Potatoes as an ally for the ride. Defending Strasbourgian sovereignty is Emperor hobbers, the battered @maniak and a rag tag bunch of HRE provinces. The odds are heavily stacked in the Franco-Venetian alliance.
maniak’s generals looked to redeem themselves after their shameful performance in the Danish/Polish war a few years back by charging headlong into the Westphalian armies (victory) then the French (loss) at the beginning of the war.
It looks like hobbers hoped to tap the Venetian’s out of the war early by sieging them down, but without a fleet to launch an invasion of Venice itself, the plan was doomed to fail and they couldn't capitalise on their early gains.
While PSV pushed through central Germany and sieged down hobbers, Organic Potatoes marched towards the Baltics but was badly beaten.
It was a particularly bloody war with with many lopsided battles. The French inflicted some some very heavy casualties on the Dano/Bohemian allies.
Once the French begun marching on Denmark, the allies sensed the futility of ruining their country for a one province HRE nation and sued for peace.
The terms were exceedingly generous to hobbers and mania, all considered.. While PSV did make territorial gains in seperate peace deals with the minor countries, the main deal was largely an exchange of coin. The Bohemians/Danish lost no land.
Meanwhile...
@Crackers had been enjoying hobbers get beaten up, very much.
What he didn’t enjoy so much was 800,000 angry Ottomans bearing down on him. That's always a real Debbie downer.
You see, @altodevil decided @Dr. Dwayne hadn’t suffered enough lately, so decided to casually declare a little imperialist war on him and Crackers was dragged along for the wild ride.
With the sheer weight of numbers (430k cannons! That's more than the entire allied army combined!), I don't even think @Shakesy could have fecked this war up, which is a good thing he isn't involv.. wait, hold on a minute..
Where the feck did you come from?
Despite all the gold in the world flowing into the allies coffers from generous benefactors (hobbers, The Cat, maniak, Organic Potatoes, Salt Bailly, Dan) and Shakesy arriving late to try snatch defeat from the jaws of victory, resistance was futile. The Ottomans literally lost more troops to skiing accidents in the alps than they did to the Austro-Russian forces.
Both Dr. Dwayne and Crackers lost territory, however Crackers loss is felt more keenly, losing his capital Vienna and several rich provinces. David May (Shakesy) gained a winners medal.
What he didn’t enjoy so much was 800,000 angry Ottomans bearing down on him. That's always a real Debbie downer.
You see, @altodevil decided @Dr. Dwayne hadn’t suffered enough lately, so decided to casually declare a little imperialist war on him and Crackers was dragged along for the wild ride.
With the sheer weight of numbers (430k cannons! That's more than the entire allied army combined!), I don't even think @Shakesy could have fecked this war up, which is a good thing he isn't involv.. wait, hold on a minute..
Where the feck did you come from?
Despite all the gold in the world flowing into the allies coffers from generous benefactors (hobbers, The Cat, maniak, Organic Potatoes, Salt Bailly, Dan) and Shakesy arriving late to try snatch defeat from the jaws of victory, resistance was futile. The Ottomans literally lost more troops to skiing accidents in the alps than they did to the Austro-Russian forces.
Both Dr. Dwayne and Crackers lost territory, however Crackers loss is felt more keenly, losing his capital Vienna and several rich provinces. David May (Shakesy) gained a winners medal.
FER FCUKS SAKE DWAYNE, THIS IS YOUR FAULT
Incredible
We just found out that you can put pineapple on pizza!! Idea unlocked.
I look huge on that last map.
1694 - 250 year update
1694 - 250 year update
Development (value of provinces):
Land army size:
Navy size:
Total income:
Mana generated (i.e, how lucky you've been with your monarch spawn stats or events and how much you've spent improving your country):
Ideas chosen (provide important buffs, generated by mana):
42: RedSky, Organic Potatoes, PSV, altodevil, maniak, Dan, Great Shakesy, hobbers, Salt Bailly, Dr Dwayne
41: SilentWitness,
40: Crackers
39: nimic-Simbo, The Cat
Army casualties (in combat + attrition
Navy casualties:
Dead players:
Religious map
Tech map (the greener you are, the more tech you've embraced and the bigger advantages you have over your neighbours):
The state of the HRE. It has passed 3 reforms:
The dynastic map:
Development (value of provinces):
- altodevil: 4510 (unchanged)
- nimic-Simbo: 2441 (unchanged)
- Salt Bailly: 2273 (unchanged)
- Great Shakesey: 2109 (unchanged)
- PSV: 1945 (unchanged)
- Dan: 1115 (unchanged)
- Dr. Dwayne: 1094 (unchanged)
- Crackers: 1000 (+1)
- maniak: 962 (-1)
- RedSky: 530 (unchanged)
Land army size:
- altodevil: 993,000 (unchanged)
- Great Shakesy: 465,000 (+2)
- nimic-Simbo: 464,000 (-1)
- PSV: 411,000 (-1)
- Dan: 169,000 (+1)
- Dr. Dwayne: 167,000 (+2)
- Salt Bailly: 162,000 (-2)
- Crackers: 113,000 (+2)
- Organic Potatoes: 66,000 (new entry)
- RedSky: 60,000 (-1)
Navy size:
- altodevil: 321 (unchanged)
- Great Shakesey: 288 (unchanged)
- Salt Bailly: 260 (+1)
- nimic-Simbo: 204 (-1)
- PSV: 142 (+1)
- maniak: 123 (-1)
- Organic Potatoes: 80 (unchanged)
- Dan: 59 (unchanged)
- Dr. Dwayne: 47 (unchanged)
- hobbers: 39 (unchanged)
Total income:
- altodevil: 933 (unchanged)
- Great Shakesey: 655 (unchanged)
- nimic-Simbo: 477 (unchanged)
- Salt Bailly: 462 (unchanged)
- PSV: 383 (unchanged)
- Organic Potatoes: 230 (unchanged))
- Dan: 225 (unchanged))
- maniak: 214 (unchanged))
- Crackers: 135 (unchanged)
- RedSky: 108 (new entry)
Mana generated (i.e, how lucky you've been with your monarch spawn stats or events and how much you've spent improving your country):
- altodevil: 97030 (unchanged)
- Great Shakesey: 90475 (unchanged)
- PSV: 85221 (+2)
- Organic Potatoes: 84022 (-1)
- nimic-Simbo: 82819 (-1)
- Dan: 81505 (unchanged)
- Salt Bailly: 80355 (unchanged)
- maniak: 79148 (unchanged)
- Dr. Dwayne: 79085 (+1)
- RedSky: 77105 (-1)
Ideas chosen (provide important buffs, generated by mana):
42: RedSky, Organic Potatoes, PSV, altodevil, maniak, Dan, Great Shakesy, hobbers, Salt Bailly, Dr Dwayne
41: SilentWitness,
40: Crackers
39: nimic-Simbo, The Cat
Army casualties (in combat + attrition
- altodevil: 6 482 519 (unchanged)
- PSV: 1 664 910 (+1)
- nimic-Simbo: 1 445 084 (-1)
- Great Shakesey: 1 285 334 (unchanged)
- Salt Bailly: 1 114 420 (unchanged)
- Dr. Dwayne: 1 059 381 (unchanged)
- Dan: 1 011 646 (unchanged)
- maniak: 927 818 (unchanged)
- Crackers: 690 681 (unchanged)
- hobbers: 690 171 (unchanged)
Navy casualties:
- Salt Bailly: 201 (+2)
- PSV: 197 (-1)
- altodevil: 184 (+1)
- Great Shakesy: 163 (+3)
- nimic-Simbo: 138 (+3)
- maniak: 133 (-1)
- Dan: 120 (+2)
- Oganic Potatoes: 62 (-2)
- The Cat: 52 (new entry)
- Dr. Dwayne: 47 (new entry)
Dead players:
- Eboue (absorbed by PSV via personal union)
- MadDogg (killed by altodevil)
- Cheimoon (annexed by altodevil, made Chief Eunuch)
- GreatDane (died in League war)
- P-Nut (killed by altodevil)
- WI_Red (absorbed by PSV via personal union)
- Solius (gangbanged by Dr. Dwayne and maniak)
Religious map
Tech map (the greener you are, the more tech you've embraced and the bigger advantages you have over your neighbours):
The state of the HRE. It has passed 3 reforms:
The dynastic map:
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Someday, and that day may never come, I will call upon you to do a service for me.
It's a shame that the Polish-Lithuanian events didn't trigger or you'd be much bigger. The Commonwealth is one of my favourite countries to play.
(for those who don't play EU4 - Poland has early events on that allow it to form a personal union with Lithuania. It's very common but didn't fire this game)
fecking Ottomans. Should have split them in two at the start of the game. Make a mod and just make them two countries.
This is revenge for you giving me England rather than Scotland
I gave you... a bit of Scotland. You just chose to lose that bit and conquer England instead.
I've just had a great idea. What if... I put cheese strips around the edge of the pizza and then folded the dough over to create a large, cheesy crust!!