It's not about a "middle ground". It's about people making idiotic assumptions from a position of complete ignorance, and then using them to cast judgement on other people, which there has been too much of going unchallenged in this thread at certain times. Don't get me wrong there's been a lot of good and informative discussion as well, particularly from people who know a lot more about the science than I do, but the ignorance when it crops up is particularly grating.
I'm not really sure what you mean by the rest of your post because, as I explained in the post you quoted, I have not broken any of the rules or guidelines and have stuck to them despite it being a huge and lonely personal struggle. I clearly wouldn't be doing that if I didn't think that was what I and people should be doing. Basically my whole life since March has been about managing a way through this and helping others to do the same. So I consider I have a right to challenge someone who makes stupid accusations against me just because they haven't even bothered to educate themselves before pointing their finger around.
The common problem I have found in this thread isn't what people think we should or shouldn't be doing, or people's different interpretations on the science or government. It's the people who just blatantly have no appreciation of what is actually going on, because presumably it hasn't really affected them and they aren't willing to stick their head above the trench and look.
When the schools were closed for months on end, it meant millions of people couldn't feed, support or educate their children. A situation that was not sustainable for more than a short period. It wasn't as simple as "it's wrong to open them again because covid". This thread was particularly annoying around that time. If you wanted schools to open you were some kind of right wing demon, or something.
Whenever the government change restrictions or move the goalposts without prior warning, it throws a lot of people into a black hole. People then react out of desperation. They don't for the most part react because they are just brazenly doing whatever the feck they like. No one wants to be fighting with all their belongings to try and catch the last train out of town. No one does that unless they are desperate and in a panic. It doesn't make them Hitler. If you announce at 4.30pm that you are quaranteening one of the largest cities in the world later that same day, then there is a 0% chance that some people wont panic and try to leave. Acting like that is unacceptable makes you the irresponsible one, not them.
The problem with the "wartime spirit" analogy is it doesn't really work. During the war things were shit for basically everyone. On Friday some people will be happily spending Christmas with their family as normal having been mildly inconvenienced by this year, while others will have an empty chair where their dad should be, and others will be so lonely and isolated due to the situation that they will take their own life. Showing empathy is not about finding a middle ground or even about what you think people should or shouldn't be doing, it's about understanding a situation and the human aspect of it, instead of acting like it's a maths puzzle and some of the numbers aren't behaving themselves.
Let me just try and point to a specific reason for why a middle ground is not such a ridiculous notion::
They don't for the most part react because they are just brazenly doing whatever the feck they like. No one wants to be fighting with all their belongings to try and catch the last train out of town. No one does that unless they are desperate and in a panic. It doesn't make them Hitler.
Yes I agree it does not make them Hitler. No-one thinks it makes them Hitler. I also don't think it means they are brazenly doing whatever they like. That's one extreme you invent to contrast against the other extreme, which ultimately makes for a disingenuous discussion. I don't try to mischaracterise your views and I think this kind of reductio ad absurdum comes quite close to doing that.
Can you understand why people made that choice out of desperation? Yes. Does that make it an acceptable choice? No. That's where you differ with other people. Because it is such a difficult choice that they were forced to make, you wouldn't encourage that choice, but you wouldn't criticise it. That's fine. Criticising it is also fine. Criticism is a legitimately useful tool in a society to help people make decisions in the best interests of wider society, which often involve making decisions that aren't in your own best interests. Criticising people does not mean they are demonising them.
The rest of my post was not aimed at you but aimed at the people you want to defend against that criticism. It is an obvious truth that millions of people have not agreed with the notion that making those sacrifices for the greater good of society for that length of time was in their best interests. You want to focus on the reasons that can explain it, but it is a legitimate view that there are few reasons that justify that disregard of social responsibility in special moments. Those few reasons do not apply to the majority of those people the majority of the time.
If you speak to them about it they're open about that. You can see the same sentiment in this thread. They do not believe in that idea of self-sacrifice for the society in this moment, because they now distrust the society and the people in charge so much that it does not seem like a worthy sacrifice. I also consider that a legitimate view. But it is not one I agree with, it is one that presents clear danger to society, and it's one that I feel is useful to criticise.
So my point was when you see people criticising others, you think that can only be because they don't see the struggle, they think it's easy. That isn't true. It is because expect them to make the right choices when faced with hard decisions. More so now than normally. If they do not, they make things worse. That's an unfortunate responsibility that they are given, but it's a responsibility all of us are given. It's part of being in a society. If they don't want that societal responsibility then they can live with more freedom but without the protection that society provides.
During wartime there were many different struggles. People at home vs people on the front line. People in the bombing areas vs. people in nice quiet villages. There are always injustices in the world, some random, some a factor of the social structure. The experience my granny had on one side was wildly different from the experience my grandad had on another. They both carried that experience with them through the rest of their lives. So yes it is true that some people struggle more than others, that doesn't change the fact we are forced to live with the responsibilities put upon is on our situation. Choosing not to in war hurts other people. Choosing not to now hurts other people. It would be better if the environment didn't force that responsibility on us but it does. We can't just pretend our choices don't have that impact right now.
I will just say I find it very cruel to label someone as unempathetic and inhuman because they don't take your view on the world. I agree with you that everyone has their blindspots as to the struggles other people face. You have exposure to a lot of different struggles, but not all of them. I can absolutely guarantee you I have experienced and witnessed many struggles in this pandemic that you haven't, too. The fact that you think a different approach to tackling the problem does not mean you lack empathy, in my eyes, and I don't at all accept the implication in return. You can see the same broad struggle and disagree on the best way to solve the problems that are creating those struggles.