Film What’s the worst film you’ve ever watched?

Red Stone said:
"So bad it's good" is a category of movie that has some redeeming qualities. They might be objectively bad movies, but at least they're still entertaining. The worst movie I've ever seen was just infuriating and insulting to watch. Nothing going for it whatsoever. Can't laugh with it, can't laugh at it, just pure, unfiltered, festering shite from start to finish. Fecking Goal! 3.

The first two movies were admittedly not high-brow cinema, but they at least had a decent enough plot and characters you wanted to root for, and despite football's popularity there's a shocking lack of movies about young kids from poor backgrounds getting their big break the beautiful game. It just seemed like a story that was waiting to be told within the world of film, and everything was set up for the third installment to finish off that story. I have no idea what happened. I have no idea what they were thinking. All I know is I'm still mad. What a crock of shit.
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Is that the one where they focus on the world cup and therefore shun the lead character from the first two films into a side role because he's Mexican? Or some shit like that? It's fecking abysmal :lol:
 
Dirty Schwein said:
Is that the one where they focus on the world cup and therefore shun the lead character from the first two films into a side role because he's Mexican? Or some shit like that? It's fecking abysmal :lol:
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That's the one. All of his backstory and the cliffhangers from the first two films denoted to a couple of throwaway lines at best, and he's also injured so he can't play in the World Cup, just to add insult to injury (or injury to insult?). In come two of the most dumpy-looking wankers you'll ever see, who are somehow supposed to be professional footballers, because it's the World Cup innit and they're from Ingurland.

Feck that movie to bits.
 
Red Stone said:
That's the one. All of his backstory and the cliffhangers from the first two films denoted to a couple of throwaway lines at best, and he's also injured so he can't play in the World Cup, just to add insult to injury (or injury to insult?). In come two of the most dumpy-looking wankers you'll ever see, who are somehow supposed to be professional footballers, because it's the World Cup innit and they're from Ingurland.

Feck that movie to bits.
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Mate reading that is pissing me off :lol:
 
I have quite a high threshold for shit movies and can usually find something charming that makes the experience bearable (if not enjoyable) but "Mirror Mask" was absolutely intolerable.



Hated it!

I'd rather watch something like "Wild Hogs" on repeat for the rest of my life than ever watch that trailer again.
 
Blackie the Pirate.

Its a Terence Hill and Bud Spencer film, except there's no action or comedy.
 
Hard to say, there have been so many, but a few low lights include the list below, all for different reasons. Some because they are outright terrible, others because of how disappointing they were vs my expectations or the hype:

Jack & Jill - Sandler at his worst, which considering his own competition, is some feat.

Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo - feck off Rob Schneider. Immature beyond words.

Without Remorse (Michael B. Jordan) - Appalling paint by numbers action.

Matrix Resurrections - So bad it made Revolutions look good.

Tree of Life - I find Malick pretentious as it is. The Thin Red Line I enjoyed, but this was pretentious even for TM. Hated it beyond words.

The Irishman - So much hype, but a big let down. Se Niro looking like an OAP kicking someone made me laugh.

Spiderman: No way Home - People went nuts for it, but found the rehashed villains and old Spideys to be shite. Maguire was particularly terrible and wooden. Showed how much better at acting Garfield is at least, so annoyed me Maguire took the plaudits. He was trash.

F9 (Aka Spaceballs) - Stupid even by F&F standards, which is saying something. Maybe the worst big budget franchise in history, and it hit a new low in trash cinema. Vin Diesel is the worst.

Gunpowder Milkshake - No words. Just maybe the worst film I’ve ever seen. Can’t even remember it at all now. Just know it’s scorched in my brain as being offensively bad.

Big Budget Netflix - This is a category, not a movie, because there are a few. The Grey Man, Red Notice, and The Adam Project, all cost a fortune and are all terrible.

Those Who Wish Me Dead - Angelina Jolie as a rugged firefighter. Need I say more?

The Dark Tower - Hot, steaming Garbage

Batman vs Superman vs Martha - Just feck off.

Sucker Punch - More Synder bollocks. Just disgracefully bad. I wanted a written apology after sitting through the full 2.5 hours.

Bloodshot - What happens when you combine a human comic character with a comic book story. An abomination.

Morbius - Shit plot, shit effects, shit acting, shit writing, shit beginning, shit middle, shit end, shit Leto, shit after credits scene. Gets it 1 point (out of 10) for featuring Adria Arjona’s perfect behind.

The Jennifer Lawrence Files - When she isn’t pretending to fall over walking on to stage, or pretending to fall over walking onto stage again, she’s busy being the most overhyped, over exposed actor in the world. Irritatingly and mind numbingly smug, not a particularly great actor, and even manages to have a dedicated following due to her “hotness”. Which doesn’t exist. So I automatically hate nearly anything she’s in. Chris Pratt is currently hot on her heels for over exposure, limited talent, non existent sex appeal, excessive hype, and time continuum bending levels of smugness.

Idiocracy - Has somehow achieved cult status, perhaps for the potentially interesting core conceptual idea, but is somehow a close rival to the Deuce Bigalow series for most immature, unfunny “comedy” I’ve ever seen. An hour and a half of fart, dick, and dumb jokes. A truly nails on chalkboard viewing experience. You’d actually have to question the sanity or intellectual stability of anyone who enjoyed this film.
 
simonhch said:
Hard to say, there have been so many, but a few low lights include the list below, all for different reasons. Some because they are outright terrible, others because of how disappointing they were vs my expectations or the hype:

Jack & Jill - Sandler at his worst, which considering his own competition, is some feat.

Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo - feck off Rob Schneider. Immature beyond words.

Without Remorse (Michael B. Jordan) - Appalling paint by numbers action.

Matrix Resurrections - So bad it made Revolutions look good.

Tree of Life - I find Malick pretentious as it is. The Thin Red Line I enjoyed, but this was pretentious even for TM. Hated it beyond words.

The Irishman - So much hype, but a big let down. Se Niro looking like an OAP kicking someone made me laugh.

Spiderman: No way Home - People went nuts for it, but found the rehashed villains and old Spideys to be shite. Maguire was particularly terrible and wooden. Showed how much better at acting Garfield is at least, so annoyed me Maguire took the plaudits. He was trash.

F9 (Aka Spaceballs) - Stupid even by F&F standards, which is saying something. Maybe the worst big budget franchise in history, and it hit a new low in trash cinema. Vin Diesel is the worst.

Gunpowder Milkshake - No words. Just maybe the worst film I’ve ever seen. Can’t even remember it at all now. Just know it’s scorched in my brain as being offensively bad.

Big Budget Netflix - This is a category, not a movie, because there are a few. The Grey Man, Red Notice, and The Adam Project, all cost a fortune and are all terrible.

Those Who Wish Me Dead - Angelina Jolie as a rugged firefighter. Need I say more?

The Dark Tower - Hot, steaming Garbage

Batman vs Superman vs Martha - Just feck off.

Sucker Punch - More Synder bollocks. Just disgracefully bad. I wanted a written apology after sitting through the full 2.5 hours.

Bloodshot - What happens when you combine a human comic character with a comic book story. An abomination.

Morbius - Shit plot, shit effects, shit acting, shit writing, shit beginning, shit middle, shit end, shit Leto, shit after credits scene. Gets it 1 point (out of 10) for featuring Adria Arjona’s perfect behind.

The Jennifer Lawrence Files - When she isn’t pretending to fall over walking on to stage, or pretending to fall over walking onto stage again, she’s busy being the most overhyped, over exposed actor in the world. Irritatingly and mind numbingly smug, not a particularly great actor, and even manages to have a dedicated following due to her “hotness”. Which doesn’t exist. So I automatically hate nearly anything she’s in. Chris Pratt is currently hot on her heels for over exposure, limited talent, non existent sex appeal, excessive hype, and time continuum bending levels of smugness.

Idiocracy - Has somehow achieved cult status, perhaps for the potentially interesting core conceptual idea, but is somehow a close rival to the Deuce Bigalow series for most immature, unfunny “comedy” I’ve ever seen. An hour and a half of fart, dick, and dumb jokes. A truly nails on chalkboard viewing experience. You’d actually have to question the sanity or intellectual stability of anyone who enjoyed this film.
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Yeah, but what's the worst film you've ever watched?
 
simonhch said:
Idiocracy - Has somehow achieved cult status, perhaps for the potentially interesting core conceptual idea, but is somehow a close rival to the Deuce Bigalow series for most immature, unfunny “comedy” I’ve ever seen. An hour and a half of fart, dick, and dumb jokes. A truly nails on chalkboard viewing experience. You’d actually have to question the sanity or intellectual stability of anyone who enjoyed this film.
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You talk like a fag and your shit's all retarded.
 
simonhch said:
Pfft, that’s like making me pick between a kick in the gnads or a stick in the eye.

Let’s go with Sucker Punch.
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Fair call, but I'd've gone with Matrix Res from your list.

As someone who enjoys Passengers, I think you're a bit harsh on Lawrence and Pratt. Maybe they're over-exposed, but she especially has done some good stuff (even if you don't include Passengers in that :P).
 
Drawfull said:
Fair call, but I'd've gone with Matrix Res from your list.

As someone who enjoys Passengers, I think you're a bit harsh on Lawrence and Pratt. Maybe they're over-exposed, but she especially has done some good stuff (even if you don't include Passengers in that :P).
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Passengers was a tough one for me, because I love sci-fi, but with that movie we reached peak style over substance. Could’ve been so much better with two proper actors instead of the glammed up everyman/woman of the day.

And Matrix Res is a fair call. Shocking film.
 
simonhch said:
Idiocracy - Has somehow achieved cult status, perhaps for the potentially interesting core conceptual idea, but is somehow a close rival to the Deuce Bigalow series for most immature, unfunny “comedy” I’ve ever seen. An hour and a half of fart, dick, and dumb jokes. A truly nails on chalkboard viewing experience. You’d actually have to question the sanity or intellectual stability of anyone who enjoyed this film.
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I would say this makes sense within a light-hearted film about an idiotic dystopian society. Have you ever been around stupid people? All they do is have fart competitions and enjoy releasing their fragrance into the room.
 
I'll go with Tenet, The Producers (2005), The Soloist, The Green Mile (unpopular opinion but it's boring), Burn After Reading, In The Heights.

All films I nearly walked out of.
 
Just watched Crank 2 because I liked Crank 1 and then some YouTube channel suggested it as a great action film with a lot of action. My God, it was horrendous! I've no idea why Jason Statham agreed to do that role.
 
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Sanche7 said:
Just watched Crank 2 because I like Crank 1 and then some YouTube channel suggested it as a great action film with a lot of action. My God, it was horrendous! I've no idea why Jason Statham agreed to do that role.
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Money.
 
ChrisNelson said:
I'll go with Tenet, The Producers (2005), The Soloist, The Green Mile (unpopular opinion but it's boring), Burn After Reading, In The Heights.

All films I nearly walked out of.
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I respect your opinion and all. After all everyone has their own taste.
But you seriously nearly walked out of The Green Mile?
 
Slevs said:
30a1b9daa23142e22398f1a7c949ddbe.jpg


I respect your opinion and all. After all everyone has their own taste.
But you seriously nearly walked out of The Green Mile?
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In the words of Peter Griffin I 'did not care for it'.

I just find it very boring and tedious and with no entertainment value at all.

But then I'm sure there are people out there who dislike my favourite films!

I would say that The Green Mile is at least better than the other films I listed but it's still something I actively avoid.
 
Sanche7 said:
Just watched Crank 2 because I liked Crank 1 and then some YouTube channel suggested it as a great action film with a lot of action. My God, it was horrendous! I've no idea why Jason Statham agreed to do that role.
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Did you really think Crank 2 was any more ridiculous than the first one?

I thought they were both fun but objectively bad movies.
 
ChrisNelson said:
In the words of Peter Griffin I 'did not care for it'.

I just find it very boring and tedious and with no entertainment value at all.

But then I'm sure there are people out there who dislike my favourite films!

I would say that The Green Mile is at least better than the other films I listed but it's still something I actively avoid.
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Green Mile is awful. Puts folk on an emotional rollacoaster. Oh no...not the mouse!
 
P-Ro said:
Solaris. Both of them.
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This is a good shout. Absolutely awful movie in every single aspect. Possibly the most boring, navel-gazing, pretentious shit masquerading as art I've ever seen. It's insane how bad it is.
 
I'd argue "The Rise of Skywalker", given its budget, the franchise it represents and following has to be up there. At least for me, it's the worst AAA movie of all time and fully cements JJ Abrams as the biggest, luckiest hack in modern cinema - he's made a career out of playing on member berries with zero substance or intellect.
 
simonhch said:
Hard to say, there have been so many, but a few low lights include the list below, all for different reasons. Some because they are outright terrible, others because of how disappointing they were vs my expectations or the hype:

Jack & Jill - Sandler at his worst, which considering his own competition, is some feat.

Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo - feck off Rob Schneider. Immature beyond words.

Without Remorse (Michael B. Jordan) - Appalling paint by numbers action.

Matrix Resurrections - So bad it made Revolutions look good.

Tree of Life - I find Malick pretentious as it is. The Thin Red Line I enjoyed, but this was pretentious even for TM. Hated it beyond words.

The Irishman - So much hype, but a big let down. Se Niro looking like an OAP kicking someone made me laugh.

Spiderman: No way Home - People went nuts for it, but found the rehashed villains and old Spideys to be shite. Maguire was particularly terrible and wooden. Showed how much better at acting Garfield is at least, so annoyed me Maguire took the plaudits. He was trash.

F9 (Aka Spaceballs) - Stupid even by F&F standards, which is saying something. Maybe the worst big budget franchise in history, and it hit a new low in trash cinema. Vin Diesel is the worst.

Gunpowder Milkshake - No words. Just maybe the worst film I’ve ever seen. Can’t even remember it at all now. Just know it’s scorched in my brain as being offensively bad.

Big Budget Netflix - This is a category, not a movie, because there are a few. The Grey Man, Red Notice, and The Adam Project, all cost a fortune and are all terrible.

Those Who Wish Me Dead - Angelina Jolie as a rugged firefighter. Need I say more?

The Dark Tower - Hot, steaming Garbage

Batman vs Superman vs Martha - Just feck off.

Sucker Punch - More Synder bollocks. Just disgracefully bad. I wanted a written apology after sitting through the full 2.5 hours.

Bloodshot - What happens when you combine a human comic character with a comic book story. An abomination.

Morbius - Shit plot, shit effects, shit acting, shit writing, shit beginning, shit middle, shit end, shit Leto, shit after credits scene. Gets it 1 point (out of 10) for featuring Adria Arjona’s perfect behind.

The Jennifer Lawrence Files - When she isn’t pretending to fall over walking on to stage, or pretending to fall over walking onto stage again, she’s busy being the most overhyped, over exposed actor in the world. Irritatingly and mind numbingly smug, not a particularly great actor, and even manages to have a dedicated following due to her “hotness”. Which doesn’t exist. So I automatically hate nearly anything she’s in. Chris Pratt is currently hot on her heels for over exposure, limited talent, non existent sex appeal, excessive hype, and time continuum bending levels of smugness.

Idiocracy - Has somehow achieved cult status, perhaps for the potentially interesting core conceptual idea, but is somehow a close rival to the Deuce Bigalow series for most immature, unfunny “comedy” I’ve ever seen. An hour and a half of fart, dick, and dumb jokes. A truly nails on chalkboard viewing experience. You’d actually have to question the sanity or intellectual stability of anyone who enjoyed this film.
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I don't disagree with a lot of your choices, but geez, you are one angry individual :lol: :lol: :lol:
 
Had the unfortunate experience of going to watch The Lakehouse in the Cinema. An absolute shower
 
GazTheLegend said:
I'd argue "The Rise of Skywalker", given its budget, the franchise it represents and following has to be up there. At least for me, it's the worst AAA movie of all time and fully cements JJ Abrams as the biggest, luckiest hack in modern cinema - he's made a career out of playing on member berries with zero substance or intellect.
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Yeah it was bad, The Last Jedi was awful too but at least it seemed like Rian Johnson put some effort into that and just messed up. The 3rd one was just JJ phoning it in and throwing any shit at the wall to get it done and pick up a pay cheque.
 
I won’t say the worst ever but I remember thinking Heat and Black Panther were two of the most overrated pieces of drivel I’ve ever seen. Nearly didn’t finish either of them.
 
ChrisNelson said:
In the words of Peter Griffin I 'did not care for it'.

I just find it very boring and tedious and with no entertainment value at all.

But then I'm sure there are people out there who dislike my favourite films!

I would say that The Green Mile is at least better than the other films I listed but it's still something I actively avoid.
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Agree wholeheartedly about The Green Mile.
 
2 man midfield said:
I won’t say the worst ever but I remember thinking Heat and Black Panther were two of the most overrated pieces of drivel I’ve ever seen. Nearly didn’t finish either of them.
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Never watched Black Panther as I am an adult, but Heat?!?
 
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