Nordic Ghost Yeti (Scandi Carroll) | Haaland at City

Austrian league - 1.06 per game
Bundesliga - 0.93 per game
Premier League - 1 per game
International football - 0.94 per game
Champions League - 1.02 per game
Domestic cups - 1.1 per game

Basically a goal a game at every level, competition, team since he was 18.
Despite that he'll never play at an international tournament and will start every season far fitter than his contemporaries
 
He also scored 5 before subbed off at 60min in one knockout stage cl match.

-21/20 goalpoints against the traditional top 6 in 14 games depending on wich source you use. Not bad.
-Best CL ratio in history

Yes he can be anonymous against the very best, but why that makes him the only player in the world who would get a bunch of negative comments if he scored 5 against Southampton this season, I do not know.
In a game they won 7-0 anyway and would likely have won 4 or 5 nil with another striker. He's a flat track bully. He'll score 5 in a game when they don't need any goal contributions but then goes missing when it matters. He is probably the best scorer of irrelevant goals ever.
 
Despite that he'll never play at an international tournament and will start every season far fitter than his contemporaries
He’ll get to the Euros eventually at least, Norway have too many good players to keep failing there with 24 teams.
 
If true he knows what's coming and is back dooring it


Good. Feck off.

Although - knowing our luck, this article will turn out to be false, and he'll announce his commitment to City in the coming weeks by signing a new 5 year contract :rolleyes:
 
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If true he knows what's coming and is back dooring it


Shit spanish papers does this every time they are bored. He will at the very least see out his contract, and then he will assess options available and how competetive we are post-Guardiola. I can actually see how close he is to Shearers record as something he will look at, but I definitely think he wants the big 2 in Spain at some point. But right now they have both made themselves unavailable. Barcelona is a shitshow that needs to show themselves as solid for a few years before they can attract someone as meticulous as Haaland, and Madrid is currently in the middle of finding out how to get the best out Vinicius, Mbappe and Bellingham and the answer to that is certainly not to put Haaland in the mix.

And since you probably want me to answer what happens if we get sent down; in that alternative universe he either just signs for another english club, might even be United or most likely Bayern gets a sniff, sells Kane back to England considering he is likely to want back at some point anyway and goes for the younger superstar like they tried with Lewandowski
 
The only realistic option is Barca and how could they possibly afford him? Even by their standards I can’t see what level of ‘creative’ accounting that could make it feasible in their current state.
 
Yes, all the signs points towards demotion down the leagues. Truly a club in freefall selling all their assets waiting for the inevitable doom.
Well, your DoF is leaving soon, and it sounds like your manager may follow suit. Perhaps they know what is coming, and are jumping ship?
 
Well, your DoF is leaving soon, and it sounds like your manager may follow suit. Perhaps they know what is coming, and are jumping ship?
Yes, the 60 year old DoF that actually planned to retire five years ago finally retiring and already replaced by one of the most sought after DoF's in europe really signals that the end is nigh. As does the media speculating that Guardiola for the 7th year running is in his last season, despite the more credible sources all reporting that he is most likely to do another season because of the timing of the Club World Cup. I certainly agree that the most likely reason if he leaves now after 9 years is because we are being sent down to where we belong, unlike when he quit after 4 seasons at Barcelona and 3 at Bayern where he just needed a change of environment.

I do find it a bit short-sighted though from our cynical but arguably very succesfull businessmen to sign off and start their huge renovation and building plans outside the stadium considering I assume these facilities would be more of a burden down in the conference, where they at this point surely knows we are heading considering how guilty we are. But I do think you can explain it away as a rush of blood type of decision, even for businessmen of their stature. Could happen to the best, a bit like United potentially throwing away precious time hiring Omar Berrada in a directorial role when his involvement in this will no doubt see him suspended from his work for a very long time. Even due diligence is faulty at times I guess

Also don't forget the kitman resigned. I actually thought we would be okay until that happened
 
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Yes, the 60 year old DoF that actually planned to retire five years ago finally retiring and already replaced by one of the most sought after DoF's in europe really signals that the end is nigh. As does the media speculating that Guardiola for the 7th year running is in his last season, despite the more credible sources all reporting that he is most likely to do another season because of the timing of the Club World Cup. I certainly agree that the most likely reason if he leaves now after 9 years is because we are being sent down to where we belong, unlike when he quit after 4 seasons at Barcelona and 3 at Bayern where he just needed a change of environment.

I do find it a bit short-sighted though from our cynical but arguably very succesfull businessmen to sign off and start their huge renovation and building plans outside the stadium considering I assume these facilities would be more of a burden down in the conference, where they at this point surely knows we are heading considering how guilty we are. But I do think you can explain it away as a rush of blood type of decision, even for businessmen of their stature. Could happen to the best, a bit like United potentially throwing away precious time hiring Omar Berrada in a directorial role when his involvement in this will no doubt see him suspended from his work for a very long time. Even due diligence is faulty at times I guess

Also don't forget the kitman resigned. I actually thought we would be okay until that happened
Not sure why you're getting so defensive here. I was merely asking a question.

Perhaps posting in a United forum isn't a good idea if you're going to get this sarcastic and defensive over someone quite rightly asking if your DoF leaving at the end of the season, and your manager outright saying he is closer to leaving than staying, is a sign that your club is going to be punished and they are getting out before it hits?

Not sure why you're going to this much effort on a United forum. I doubt you'd find many City sympathizers on here.
 
Not sure why you're getting so defensive here. I was merely asking a question.

Perhaps posting in a United forum isn't a good idea if you're going to get this sarcastic and defensive over someone quite rightly asking if your DoF leaving at the end of the season, and your manager outright saying he is closer to leaving than staying, is a sign that your club is going to be punished and they are getting out before it hits?

Not sure why you're going to this much effort on a United forum. I doubt you'd find many City sympathizers on here.
I simply went into detail on how much I agreed
 
Like I said - not sure why you're going to so much trouble to make your point on a United forum.
Not a huge fan of echo chambers so I rather spend my insomnia on here. I'm well aware of the audience. If I spend a couple of minutes here and there to get my point across as you say I don't consider it that much trouble. I also don't think the sarcasm were that out of touch with your initial posts on the subject, a subject that understandably produces a much lower level of quality posts around here, compared to the standard
 
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Not a huge fan of echo chambers so I rather spend my insomnia on here. I'm well aware of the audience. If I spend a couple of minutes here and there to get my point across as you say I don't consider it that much trouble. I also don't think the sarcasm were that out of touch with your initial posts on the subject, a subject that understandably produces a much lower level of quality posts around here, compared to the standard
Just comes across like you're trying desperately to defend your club at all costs, and that you get the hackles up at the slightest hint that your club might be about to be found guilty.