My point is that they voted this way partly thinking their lives can't possibly get any worse. Their lives can very demonstrably get worse. Not quite in the remainer fantasy where the UK crashes and burns. But little things. Their weekly food shop becomes more expensive. Their time in between jobs becomes longer. Their benefits no longer covers as much as it used to. Their one holiday they went on every year/ few years now becomes much more expensive/ impossible. More shops will close on their high street.
I agree with your second paragraph in a way and I remember wondering and saying during those votes whether remainers would, in failing to support a lighter deal, contribute to leading us down the road to a much harsher deal.
The 'other side' were never ever going to agree to withdrawing A50 or to have a rethink. For so many of their most fervent proponents, even the mention of a 2nd referendum was akin to treason and they and the media had whipped the population up into believing their rhetoric. Some of these people had dedicated their entire political lives to this moment, they weren't going to give it up easily.
By that point, it was all about 'get brexit done', not any kind of nuanced discussion on our future relationship with our biggest trading partners and a group of countries that should include amongst them our very closest friends.
Weekly food shop was already too high for many, foodbanks became the norm in many areas;
Unemployment was worsening, zero hours contracts became more prevalent. They were ok for some who need the working time flexibility, not for those with families who need working hours (paid)certainty;
Universal Benefits are already in place giving a much narrow range of benefits to many in these deprived areas, on worsening protocols;
Even families (with 2.4 kids) with both parents working could not afford holidays, time-off as well as financial restrictions;
Shops closing virtually every week, also including Post Offices and Banks, even some ATMs were removed in specific areas.
When did you ever hear a remain campaigner saying to people in such as these areas, that things will get better if we stay in the EU; all they offered was more of the same, or warnings of dire consequences, or 'project fear' as the Brexiteers gleefully seized upon and named such warnings.
Yes its true all the above may well get worse as 'fall out' from Brexit, but for people who were already at the sharp end of the above, and had been for sometime, then telling them to vote remain, (
in effect for more of the same) was a nonsense. Brexit was offering 'a change' and for those in the above situations it was 'an idea whose time had come'.
Realistically Labour should have romped home in both post and pre referendum GE's, but with Corbyn in charge and unable to make up their mind on the EU . Then Tories got a free ride and ultimately all but wiped out Labour in its heartlands.
When you add the above to the other reasons for voting Brexit (which many gave at the time) you can see this was the main grouping that remainers might have won over with some thought to how they campaigned. People who voted Brexit for 'sovereignty, ending free movement, control of our own laws etc. would always have voted Brexit, it was their new religion. People who wanted a better life however were never given any consideration, they either had to vote to stay as they were, or were enticed to vote for the dream, the idea whose time has come!