Monday, July 28th, 2014, A.D.
Woodward arrives into Turin, kitted out in black leather and Gucci sunglasses, with a massive golden chalice he's drinking vintage classic wine from. He smirks as the camera pans in on his tanned, gloriously smooth face, knowing that he's about to rip the f*ck up of this feeble little town. He jumps in his pink Bentley driven by Dappy/Jaybezia, "alright mate, take me to Vidal." "Vidal? Sir I'm not sure where he ..." "just fecking drive, I'll show you where to go."
He didn't know where to go, they arrived four days later, but Woody still looked immaculate. Dappy was dead from exhaustion, Woody didn't care, he knew he was a necessary sacrifice. He strolled into the Juve offices, demanding to see Marotta. Supposedly Marotta had been locked in his room with a big giant c*nt of a shotgun, waiting. "STAY BACK ED!", he shouted.
Woody laughed, took out a cigar and lit it. "Open the door, Beppe, it's time". "You're not taking him Ed, I told you, you can't have him, I'll f*cking shoot you Eddie, I will". "No mate, you won't." Ed fecks the cigar on the ground, a huge explosion occurs (where the hell did the fuel come from? - the Juve staff wonder). The door explodes open, Marotta huddled in the corner in fetal position, burning. "OK, OK Ed, you win, just ... just take him". Marotta dies.
A hidden door unravels, Vidal steps out, kitted in a Utd kit. Confetti and fireworks are raining behind him. "I'm ready, Ed, let's go".