Well I got through
I was back to being calm again, until she told me I could only have my own ticket sent, my dad would have to ring again. I pointed out he wouldn't get through in time because of the waiting time. At which point she saw fit to inform me I'd only been waiting 30 minutes. I politely replied I had been waiting 1 hour 40 minutes and 9 seconds, and that this was the 2nd time I'd attempted calling today. She insisted I'd only been waiting 30 minutes. This did not go down well, and I informed her of my feelings at this time
Eventually we had the fascinating scenario of my Dad being pulled out of his business meeting, so he could talk on his works phone, via my mums phone, via Skype, via my mobile, via the United ticket office phone to confirm his name, DOB and home address, so they'd send his ticket out via the post as well
WANKERS