"We will not have our transfer strategy ridiculed in public" said Stoke boss Biggus Andius. "We have a gaping hole up front, and we decided to fill it with 6ft 2" of Spanish Sausage", what we paid for the privilege of this striker is for the chairman to worry about".
With regards to Inaki Williams, Biggus continued "We have no ties to the previous regime, and their agreements. Sunderland were the first to get in contact with me, and thus they secured the deal. I mean its not like he's going to be playing in the first team any time soon anyway".
With Biggus sitting near the top of the trophies table, despite his sabbatical to "Find himself", he expects to be challenging for silverware in the coming season, be that a cup trophy, or a crack at the title...