He, he. I enjoyed some of the other segments more, specially the Cate Blanchett one which is a pastiche of Don't Look Back, the Pennebaker film of Dylan's 1966 tour (which is itself brilliant).
Film The Redcafe Movie review thread
- Thread starter golden_blunder
- Start date
I hated all of the first three with a passion. Celluloid excrement. The Life Aquatic was liquid excrement.
The Darjeeling Limited was just about watchable. No more.
Obvious and boring. Not quite as shite as most of his other filsm but that isn't saying much.
Although nothing can be as bad as Gabrielle.
In fact the only way to make that film worse would have been to make Cage the lead actor.
In fact the only way to make that film worse would have been to make Cage the lead actor.
The Jumper
Far from being a film documenting Spoony's questionable* fashion sense, this film is actually about people who can teleport to anywhere they like. Fantastic, perhaps. Piece together a crummy plot line, cram it full of fights and stuff getting smashed up, make sure not to include the term "Matrix" anywhere in the film title, and you're on to a winner.
But no, there's always a way to bugger it up. First off, the main character, and supposed hero, who you're meant to feel good about saving the day, spends the entire film acting like a complete knob. He robs banks, ignores people drowning in cars, dumps his girlfriend in the middle of the desert, teleports his mate into jail, finds a new mate, and then electricutes him. An all round nice guy, all things considered.
Secondly, Samuel L Jackson's hair. It's ridiculous. Here is the supposed mega nasty, evil supervillain, and yet he just looks like a slightly pissed off, recently shaven, black Santa Claus**. He does have a knife, to be fair. If anyone's looking to make a film about Father Christmas ditching his sleigh to join an East London knife gang, or indeed if LA Galaxy need a stand in for Abel Xavier, Jackson's your man.
Aside from that, there's really not much going on. It passed the time for an hour and a half, as films like this generally do, I suppose, but it never threatened to do anything more.
*gay
**that's racist
Far from being a film documenting Spoony's questionable* fashion sense, this film is actually about people who can teleport to anywhere they like. Fantastic, perhaps. Piece together a crummy plot line, cram it full of fights and stuff getting smashed up, make sure not to include the term "Matrix" anywhere in the film title, and you're on to a winner.
But no, there's always a way to bugger it up. First off, the main character, and supposed hero, who you're meant to feel good about saving the day, spends the entire film acting like a complete knob. He robs banks, ignores people drowning in cars, dumps his girlfriend in the middle of the desert, teleports his mate into jail, finds a new mate, and then electricutes him. An all round nice guy, all things considered.
Secondly, Samuel L Jackson's hair. It's ridiculous. Here is the supposed mega nasty, evil supervillain, and yet he just looks like a slightly pissed off, recently shaven, black Santa Claus**. He does have a knife, to be fair. If anyone's looking to make a film about Father Christmas ditching his sleigh to join an East London knife gang, or indeed if LA Galaxy need a stand in for Abel Xavier, Jackson's your man.
Aside from that, there's really not much going on. It passed the time for an hour and a half, as films like this generally do, I suppose, but it never threatened to do anything more.
*gay
**that's racist
Prince Caspian
Firstly I haven’t read the book (though I will do as soon as I finish up this series I’m reading ATM)
Anyway, being a huge fan of the fantasy genre I’d seen, and enjoyed, the first instalment of the Chronicles of Nania movie. So when I saw the trailers for this movie I became rather excited.
I really enjoyed the movie.
Minor spoiler alert:
First things first - The scenery was fantastic, the special effects were very good, the dark theme throughout was appealing to me, and same too with the uniting of all the creatures.
I went into the movie thinking (and bloody hoping) it would be a more darker, war based, instalment then the first movie. It certainly was.
I also thought this Caspian would be a big hero throughout, leading some sort of losing battle against the enemy. So I was surprised when he was portrayed as more of a scared boy for the most part.
I don’t know if the storyline holds true to the original text, but I thoroughly enjoyed this film. The only drawback being the Phoenix didn’t feature in the battle this time.
Firstly I haven’t read the book (though I will do as soon as I finish up this series I’m reading ATM)
Anyway, being a huge fan of the fantasy genre I’d seen, and enjoyed, the first instalment of the Chronicles of Nania movie. So when I saw the trailers for this movie I became rather excited.
I really enjoyed the movie.
Minor spoiler alert:
First things first - The scenery was fantastic, the special effects were very good, the dark theme throughout was appealing to me, and same too with the uniting of all the creatures.
I went into the movie thinking (and bloody hoping) it would be a more darker, war based, instalment then the first movie. It certainly was.
I also thought this Caspian would be a big hero throughout, leading some sort of losing battle against the enemy. So I was surprised when he was portrayed as more of a scared boy for the most part.
I don’t know if the storyline holds true to the original text, but I thoroughly enjoyed this film. The only drawback being the Phoenix didn’t feature in the battle this time.
Jumper - D
The Happening - F
The Happening - F
I agree. Rubbish film.
It hated you.
Bleah!
Good.
Good.
It also had sex with your father.
Does that mean it's my mother?
Yes. And Danny Boyle is your father.
Same here.
You are my father?
No. I would've had you aborted.
Saw "The Happening" last night.
I've got to say..it's bad. Very average. There are some of Shyamalan's moments in it, some brilliant stuff, the cinematography is as always spot on but the story and the acting is so poor at times, it ruins everything.
Still, it could be fun for an undemanding person, there are cool suicides and such. Even as bad as it is, it's still better than most of today's thriller/horror shite.
But feck me, this is the first Shyamalan film I didn't like.
I've got to say..it's bad. Very average. There are some of Shyamalan's moments in it, some brilliant stuff, the cinematography is as always spot on but the story and the acting is so poor at times, it ruins everything.
Still, it could be fun for an undemanding person, there are cool suicides and such. Even as bad as it is, it's still better than most of today's thriller/horror shite.
But feck me, this is the first Shyamalan film I didn't like.
You're more into the FRIENDS and Legally Blonde type of comedy I reckon?
Black comedy actually needs to be both black and comedic. Simply being rubbish and depressing doesn't cut it.
Neither does making a film that is simply an unfunny caricature of a Jacque Cousteau documentary and thinking yourself hilariously clever.
Neither does making a film that is simply an unfunny caricature of a Jacque Cousteau documentary and thinking yourself hilariously clever.
Worst. Movie. Ever.
I think I had high expectations for it, I really don't know why. But so much of the movie was just cringe-worthy. Oh god. What a waste of time. I wish I'd gone to What Happens In Vegas instead.
Two of my favourite films. Loads of people cant stand them aswell which makes them even funnier for some reason
If I could recommend a couple of films....
Dead Mans Shoes- Revenge movie with the excellent Paddy Considine
Amores Perros - mexican movie, three stories connected by a car accident
Happening - (not). Cringeworthy. Horrible performances. Even more horrible plot. Plants ? Really ? Damn.
Rescue Dawn - I love all Herzog movies and this was no exception. Bale and Zahn were great. One of my favourite PoW movies ever.
Rescue Dawn - I love all Herzog movies and this was no exception. Bale and Zahn were great. One of my favourite PoW movies ever.
The Incredible Hulk -> Incredible.
I've got Dead Man's Shoes on my computer for a while, haven't seen it yet though cos I can't find english subs and the accents are tough to understand. Amores Perros is amazing, the dead dogs scene always gets me in tears.Two of my favourite films. Loads of people cant stand them aswell which makes them even funnier for some reason
If I could recommend a couple of films....
Dead Mans Shoes- Revenge movie with the excellent Paddy Considine
Amores Perros - mexican movie, three stories connected by a car accident
I'm thinking of watching it purely because Zooey Deschanel is one of the most beautiful women alive.
I saw What Happens in Vegas and liked it 
*eagerly awaits DVD release*
*eagerly awaits DVD release*
Don't know if she's exactly one of the most beautiful women alive but she's very charismatic, has something special about her that I like very much too.
Finally got round to watching In Bruges.
Just fecking brilliant, dark and hillarious in parts, Colin Farrell is spot on, easily the high point in his career.
Just watch it feckers.
9/10
Just fecking brilliant, dark and hillarious in parts, Colin Farrell is spot on, easily the high point in his career.
Just watch it feckers.
9/10
Two of my favourite films. Loads of people cant stand them aswell which makes them even funnier for some reason
If I could recommend a couple of films....
Dead Mans Shoes- Revenge movie with the excellent Paddy Considine
Amores Perros - mexican movie, three stories connected by a car accident
Loved it.
I loved it. Very funny too. The American elephants scene, and the Tottenham one, brilliant
Wanted to see that when it came to theatres but never got around to it. hopefully it'll come to DVD soon.
Its a quality film some cracking lines in it. Liked the ending. Farrell redeems himself bigtime IMO. I liked the Traveller he played in intermission aswell
I'm going to watch this before bed, didn't know there was a dvd rip out! I've been looking forward to it since it was previewed in Empire.
Hulk. Excellent.
I watched this tonight, I've never really been into superhero films apart from batman but I've enjoyed both the hulk and ironman.
Jumper. Nope. Didn't do it for me. Anakin is not a good actor. Rachel Bilson would get it though. The 'jumping' effects were cool.