A letter to F365 Mailbox
It's in response to a mail by a Liverpool fan suggesting that Suarez is being discriminated against. Funny
A Retort To Joe
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The unpatriotic Joe LFC - is there any other kind of scouser? - must have been playing cliche bingo this morning, because with that mail he's definitely going home with a new washer-drier and a bag of assorted home-made pickles (a gift from Mabel and Martha from the WI). Joe, the only necessary declaration at the head of your mail was this: 'Hi, my name is Joe and I cannot differentiate between supporting my club and supporting the behaviour of each and every highly-talented idiot on the payroll'. Don't feel sad Joe, you're not alone; many of your red brethren share the same clouded hive mind. And, in a lovely parallel universe, so do a lot of the patchily-shaved beasts that trail after Chelsea like the mucus path behind a fat and manky slug (before your Rafa-radar goes into full alert, that wasn't a dig at your former manager/permanent idol. He looks more flaky than slimy, like a hamster with excema).
I feel I need to clarify a few of the Liver-addled thoughts bouncing around in Joe's roomy and spacious cavity, before he starts talking to real people and gets himself sectioned. Joe, playing the 'Terry got x, Suarez got y, blah blah blah worse than racism' card isn't very clever. It's like facing down a royal flush with the box the cards came in. It's an argument so flawed it should be part of the BNP manifesto. If we continue down your fantastical path of bullsh*t, we can also arrive at the conclusion that, when committing murder (something we all do occasionally) it is beneficial to do so for racist reasons. The killers of Stephen Lawrence face minimum sentences of 17 years, whereas the killer of Jamie Simpson received a minimum term of 20 years, thus we can clearly see that racism is looked upon favourably by the courts. Or that it is f**king pointless to compare and contrast punishments without a full understanding of the circumstances and prior history of the offenders.
This leads my next point: 'If Defoe only got a yellow then why is Suarez being picked on? Oh yeah, it's cos he's foreign and the FA is racist'. Not really a fair version of events, but why bother with that when you can let paranoia lead the way? Defoe's bite was at the end of a tussle with Mascherano, and the yellow card was for the general handbags between the two, not specifically for his nibbliness. Further punishment was avoided because the referee had 'dealt with the incident' - if it had been an off-the-ball matter and completely unnoticed then the punishment would have been more severe. The incidents themselves are also massively different and, above all else, only one was committed by a nasty little c**t who has bitten an opponent before as part of a career-long festival of snide crimes that would make the average skag-head blush. If they can blush; the effect might be diminished by their withered veins and general lack of shame and decency.
By the by Joey Joe Joe Junior Shabadoo, I don't know if you've noticed but Jermain Defoe is black. When it comes to crimes of racism against those within Britain, I'm sure he'd be delighted to know that he is part of a demographic that actually manages to benefit.
Joey, I hope your support team are still reading this for you. You need to know that these outbursts are not fit for public consumption. If Suarez gets a six-match ban it will not be because his crime is the worst to ever occur on a football pitch. It will not be because he's foreign. It won't be because he plays for Liverpool because - and I mean this with as much kindness as I can muster for such a bloody fool - the idea of an anti-Liverpool conspiracy suggests that the club retains some kind of modern relevance and impact (outside of the bubble-permed minds of the supporters). It will be because he's a horrible little s**tbag, because this is the second time he has bitten someone despite previously getting a seven-match ban, because he commits dozens of incredibly unpleasant acts over the course of the season, and because he shows no real contrition or desire to truly improve his behaviour. The latter is something that LFC should be most concerned with, considering the great efforts made to develop him into a f***ing adult instead of the full-mouthed toddler he currently is. Sorry, fell into another parallel universe: in that one LFC refused to accept his repeat offences and lip-service apologies and actually tried to make an effective change to his behaviour. That Liverpool actually seemed to give a s**t about the wider public opinion. This one is content to offer up the same worthless sentiments while bending riiiight over for their best player and letting him f*** them all in turn. And this ain't lovemaking, and it ain't tender. And the fans too, spread-eagled and wincing as he rolls his way through them all. And this, all of this, proves one point above all others: Liverpool FC are small-time and they are desperate. Big clubs do not allow their star player to make such an utter c**t out of everyone associated with the club. Big clubs do not cower from the power of one man, no matter how talented.
So Joe, with your magical calculations and reasons behind the unfair persecution of kind baby Luis - and incredible dismissal of his own racial incident as 'the whole Evra thing' - you may feel that he is hard done by. But that is because you are so full of his sharp-headed seed that it has f***ing
ruined your brain.
~
thayden