Why do I want Jack Rodwell? I don't know.
Don't get me wrong, the boy can pick a pass,
Has pace, athleticism, latent class,
And youth, with ample time to learn and grow.
What does he do, though, when he's fit (that's seldom)?
He never seems to hit another level;
He scored a goal against us once (yeah, well done -
Our back four featured Evans, Brown and Neville).
And yet, when it's announced he's on his way,
The heir to Scholesy, Keano, Robbo, Remi,
By some inane, soi-disant ITK,
I feel at once the stirrings of a semi.
Why do I want Jack Rodwell? I don't know -
Just sign him up, and get on with the show.