If you could offer Ruben one piece of advice

Buy proven talent in EPL. If you realise Alex is always buying players that has performed well in EPL e.g. Rooney, Rio, Carrick, Berbatov, Keane and etc. He is willing to pay big money on them. Don't be a fool like Ten Hag who buys Antony, Hoijund, Casemiro, Zirkzee and others who has proven nothing in England.
 
Put Rashford on the chopping block, look for a replacement for Casemiro and a Left back.

A proven striker and try to understand what to do with Zirkzee.
 
Buy proven talent in EPL. If you realise Alex is always buying players that has performed well in EPL e.g. Rooney, Rio, Carrick, Berbatov, Keane and etc. He is willing to pay big money on them. Don't be a fool like Ten Hag who buys Antony, Hoijund, Casemiro, Zirkzee and others who has proven nothing in England.
A good point, however we do gave some great track records with foreign players.

Ronaldo, Nani, Evra, Vidic, Bruno and there's a few looking good so far like Amad, De Ligt and Maz.
 
Don’t let the players gaslight you that they’re doing the best they can.
 
Win a cup. Any cup. That will protect you from almost anything. Just keep saying I won a cup to activate it.

Saw you banging on the sofa....I won a cup
Come 8th in the league......I won a cup
Loose 7-0 to Liverpool.....I won a cup
 
  • Results > style of play, no matter what some say.
  • Let’s not talk about winning the big trophies and not even think about it. Goal should be to be in the CL every year, and not yo-yo in and out of it. Being a mainstay there allows us to build long term and get back to where we need to be.
Agree with you on the other points, but this is a bit contradictory imo. If we want to be in the CL every year we need a clear style of play. You can’t separate results and style, the former depends on the latter. That doesn’t mean you can’t be pragmatic as well and Amorim will most likely begin with implementing some basic principles while tweaking the team for the next game. But over time he’ll work his style of play into the players so that the need for tweaks get smaller and smaller.
 
Drive on the left side of the road and don't treat filter lanes at traffic lights as a competition to not let people merge in.
 
Buy proven talent in EPL. If you realise Alex is always buying players that has performed well in EPL e.g. Rooney, Rio, Carrick, Berbatov, Keane and etc. He is willing to pay big money on them. Don't be a fool like Ten Hag who buys Antony, Hoijund, Casemiro, Zirkzee and others who has proven nothing in England.
Mason Mount and Harry Maguire would like to say hello.
 
If possible book the earliest flight out from Manchester to Lisbon and don't look back. Possibly thinking, "Non, je ne regrette rien"
 
To anyone else, I'd have said - "Don't come out with insane comments/excuses when you're in a bad patch' (like Erik started to). But with Ruben, I don't think it is even necessary as he seems so self aware and honest. I expect him after a bad defeat to own it and just work silently on improving things. That's how to get fans to warm to you, not - "But I won 2 cooops, eh?"

So I'm going for -

* Issue a lifetime ban to Gary Cotterill and warn that will be the the fate of anyone else who decides to employ similar antics
* Sell Rashford, sell Antony, sell Maguire, sell Lindelof
* Sack Shaw
* Gently let go of Evans, Eriksen and Casemiro
* Understand immediately that in terms of both quality and physicality, the PL is lightyears ahead of what you're used to
* Invest in youth as much as you can
* Immerse yourself in the history of the club
* Be openly passionate on the touchline - not in an Arteta way but just look like you care and don't sit in the dugout for 90 mins or stand scratching your chin
* Big crazy fist pumps to the crowd after a win - in a cool way, not that cringey Klopp rubbish
* (Rightly) praise our away following at every opportunity
* Focus on league improvement - cups are a bonus
* Encourage a more gritty environment - where players can dish out bollockings to each other when needed without the fear of hurting each others' little feelings
* Establish a side that's difficult to play against and one that will hold their own in the 'big' games
* Bring 21 home inside 3 years :drool:
 
* implement your style, don't compromise for any player or immediate results.
* Continue to sign only under 25 players
* Understand Manchester United is a different beast, whatever you did at Sporting you'll need to outdo yourself so you have to learn, you're a beginner in the deep end. You have to learn and learn quickly.
* Be honest with the fans, players and media, being delusional is not a sign of confidence it suggest you have lost control. (See ETH and Mourinho as examples).
* Enjoy the ride!
 
If you stay in a hotel, choose one with free continental breakfast. Free meal gives you happiness and you need lots of it.
 
Stay true to your philosophy. It’s easier for the players.

Give everyone in the squad a chance to prove themselves—clean slate and all that. Those who played poorly before were doing so under bizarre tactics.

There is talent in the squad. Provide a platform where these players can revitalize their career.
 
Enjoy the fan support you while you can... they'll turn on you the moment you make a substitution they disagree with or you pick Marcus Rashford;)
 
1. Don’t mention work ethics, shipyards and aspiration to become your neighbour.
2. Don’t mention any philosophy. Even stoicism.
3. Don’t mention younger generation, their mentality especially them not being real men. And rats.
4. Don’t mention any cups if you win any. Especially if you are 14th in the league.

Edit: forget any allusions on any medical procedures, especially involving invasive ones related to blood stream and pumping.