If you could offer Ruben one piece of advice

Don’t give players a clean slate. Especially players like Rashford, who when the going gets tough spends more time crying to the media than actually trying to turn things around.
 
foolsgold said:
Mason Mount and Harry Maguire would like to say hello.
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Mount is injury prone, he was out injury when he was at Chelsea. Why did Erik buys him is still a mystery? I don't think Maguire is so bad. He is England international, he strive under Leicester. Erik didn't have tactical ability to hide his weaknesses and he was our goal threat from set pieces as well.
 
Get rid of(replace) Rashford and Shaw as soon as you can. If they hit some kind of a purple patch, don't fall for it and think you can actually rely on them long term.

Bruno also has to be replaced, but I just don't think that's possible, realistic. I've been bragging about that for a long time now.
 
Insist on spending money on Jan. Dont have this bullshit period again where the manager has to learn about all the current players. If they're good enough then good competition coming in will spur them on. Get more goals/creativity in the window
 
Don't take everything you read on the caf to heart
 
Be true to your conviction. Don’t abandon your principle. Start at day one. If player don’t fit get rid. Give yourself chance. Be brave.
 


Great point by Vidic about the culpability of the players in terms of their application.

Amorim needs to identify such players quickly and get them out. And if they fool him for a season, the moment, he notices the wrong mentality, they need to go
 
Rooney25 said:
Ome piece of advice - get rid of the deadwood like Macguire and Ericsson
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Butchering two players names in one post is impressive. Surely you’ve seen them written enough to know that spelling is way off?

Also, there’s players that need binning off long before those two.
 
Don’t acknowledge the United pundits. The Co92 etc. They’re all toxic and will bring you down.

I love the Co92 but they’ve been part of our downfall with the driving of the United way. Amorim somehow needs to protect the players from them.
 
Ignore the noise. Theres a lot of it and it easy enough to get caught up in this weeks drama. There'll always be something or other but most of it is just noise.
 
"You'll get at least 2 years no matter how bad it gets, so don't worry yourself"
 
Manage expectations. There is, sadly, a massive gap between what fans want and expect of United (because of a glorious past) and what Utd is these days. We all know it of course but at the same time we all expect, maybe even demand, success. When was the last time we signed a top, top player? When I read the transfer gossip we're not even in the mix. Look at the list of players Real Madrid are rumoured to be bagging on free transfers - Alexander-Arnold, Jonathan Tah, Alphonso Davies and Florian Wirtz. Would any one of them dream of coming to Utd these days? How the heck are we supposed to be at the top or even thereabouts without top players? It pisses me off no end but that is how it is. (My first love will always be Scunthorpe but Utd are 90% of a lifetime of fantastic football memories for me - that is why I care and dare to say 'we.' )

Amorim would be very wise to be measured in his targets for the club, to communicate widely and clearly what he hopes to achieve in his first year and generally bring expectations in line with the realities. The danger is that otherwise he will be measured against an impossible standard and fans will turn on him for his failure to achieve the impossible. And we'll be back to square one demanding a new manager.
 
Last edited:
Turnip said:
Don't forget Bruno Furnace and Agadoo Banana
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didz said:
Sick of seeing this mistake. Agadoo Banana plays for Aston Villa, we've got Android Banana.
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Management advice - v3:

1. Avoid the caf at all costs
2. Wear sunscreen
3. Wipe front to back
4. Don’t eat yellow snow
5. Don’t eat fish’n’chips
6. Don’t remove the ketchup
7. Don’t bang the physio’s wife
8. What ever you do, don’t eat the chicken
9. Leave Micah Bell in prison
10. Don’t count on Tahiti plan
11. Never do anything out of hunger, not even eating
12. Don’t feed the gremlins after midnight
13. Find the jade monkey before the next full moon
14. Be careful, the roof leaks
15. Avoid printworks on Saturday
16. Don’t read the English press
17. Say ‘mate’ to journalists
18. Be charismatic with the press
19. Don’t talk about trophies
20. Don’t be arrogant when terrible
21. Call out ref’s
22. No drama
23. Speak (and walk) softly … and carry a big stick
24. Never judge a sausage by it’s skin
25. Ignore media, fans, pundits, ex players and the voices in your head
26. Be true to yourself
27. Be realistic
28. Don’t believe in your own hype
29. Think happy thoughts
30. Avoid the caf at all costs
31. Get out while you can
32. When offered extension, get big money termination clause
33. Don’t be like Erik
34. Avvoid hair loss
35. Go bald
36. Resign now
37. Believe in your philosophy
38. Talk with previous managers and coaches
39. Don’t talk about The United Way
40. The United Way is about fighting to the last
41. Don’t follow The United Way
42. Introduce your own style from day one, accept the cost of bad results this season
43. Stick to the plan
44. Don’t get stabbed in the back
45. Follow the process
46. Never use the word ‘process’
47. Beware that PL teams are great at counters, so don’t play like Sporting
48. Believe in your methods
49. Try to understand the PL
50. Don’t let the media pressure you into bad devisions
51. Don’t die on a Rashford and Bruno hill
52. Stay grounded
53. Don’t be a good guy
54. Stay strong
55. No remorse
56. You snooze, you lose
57. Pass better, work on your first touch yeah?
58. Keep it simple
59. Don’t think we’re Arsenal
60. Don’t think we’re Arsenal under Wenger
61. Focus on top 4
62. Don’t talk about winning trophies
63. Ambition always to win the league
64. Be patient
65. Win a quadruple
66. Stop reading the caf
67. Except the matchday threads
68. Avvoid losing over entertainment
69. Prioritize entertaining style over results
70. Be critical of wins with bad play
71. Stick to your style always
72. Don’t ever consider the donut formation, ever
73. Play front-foot dominant football
74. Prioritize defence
75. Defensive control in midfield
76. Attack at any cost
77. Don’t get thrashed by rivals
78. Clear expectations to the players
79. Be ruthless
80. My way or the highway
81. Keep professional distance to players
82. Be wary of the snakes
83. Make the players horny
84. Don’t try to please everyone
85. No favorites
86. Be nice to Kath
87. Don’t accomodate Rashford
88. Be open to how shit the players are
89. Don’t give second chances
90. Preemtive strike on the snakes
91. Play Rashford
92. Build around players for the future that you believe in. Meaning Mainoo, Garnacho, Diallo
93. Don’t try to get the best out of Rashford
94. Play the Academy players, it’s The United Way
95. Don’t talk about the United DNA
96. Don’t accept a single lapse in concentration
97. Sub players off after 10 mins
98. Freeze out Rashford
99. Give youngsters more gametime ahead of Rashford
100. Be fair
101. Sell Rashford x 20
102. Push Shaw out
103. Sell Maguire
104. Sell Anthony
105. Sell anyone
106. Mazraoui is decent even if he isn’t a WB
107. Sell everyone
108. Buy PL-winner level players
109. Buy Enzo Fernandez
110. Buy players with man bun
111. Don’t buy anyone with an injury record
112. Ask for a few attackers
113. Don’t push for specific players
114. Bring Scholesy back
115. Don’t spend big early
116. Don’t sign players from Ajax
117. Don’t buy Real Madrid rejects
118. Don’t sign players from Sporting
119. Believe in yourself
120. Don’t believe in your own hype
121. Don’t buy a house
122. Don’t listen to the caf
123. Oh, and don’t forget Bruno Furnace and Android Banana. (Really, it’s Agadoo).
 
Take the caf as gospel. Always know we know more than you. And that's ok - as long as you do what we say. Even if it means getting rid of every player. Sacrifices have to be made to appease us.
 
Grande said:
Management advice - v3:

1. Avoid the caf at all costs
2. Wear sunscreen
3. Wipe front to back
4. Don’t eat yellow snow
5. Don’t eat fish’n’chips
6. Don’t remove the ketchup
7. Don’t bang the physio’s wife
8. What ever you do, don’t eat the chicken
9. Leave Micah Bell in prison
10. Don’t count on Tahiti plan
11. Never do anything out of hunger, not even eating
12. Don’t feed the gremlins after midnight
13. Find the jade monkey before the next full moon
14. Be careful, the roof leaks
15. Avoid printworks on Saturday
16. Don’t read the English press
17. Say ‘mate’ to journalists
18. Be charismatic with the press
19. Don’t talk about trophies
20. Don’t be arrogant when terrible
21. Call out ref’s
22. No drama
23. Speak (and walk) softly … and carry a big stick
24. Never judge a sausage by it’s skin
25. Ignore media, fans, pundits, ex players and the voices in your head
26. Be true to yourself
27. Be realistic
28. Don’t believe in your own hype
29. Think happy thoughts
30. Avoid the caf at all costs
31. Get out while you can
32. When offered extension, get big money termination clause
33. Don’t be like Erik
34. Avvoid hair loss
35. Go bald
36. Resign now
37. Believe in your philosophy
38. Talk with previous managers and coaches
39. Don’t talk about The United Way
40. The United Way is about fighting to the last
41. Don’t follow The United Way
42. Introduce your own style from day one, accept the cost of bad results this season
43. Stick to the plan
44. Don’t get stabbed in the back
45. Follow the process
46. Never use the word ‘process’
47. Beware that PL teams are great at counters, so don’t play like Sporting
48. Believe in your methods
49. Try to understand the PL
50. Don’t let the media pressure you into bad devisions
51. Don’t die on a Rashford and Bruno hill
52. Stay grounded
53. Don’t be a good guy
54. Stay strong
55. No remorse
56. You snooze, you lose
57. Pass better, work on your first touch yeah?
58. Keep it simple
59. Don’t think we’re Arsenal
60. Don’t think we’re Arsenal under Wenger
61. Focus on top 4
62. Don’t talk about winning trophies
63. Ambition always to win the league
64. Be patient
65. Win a quadruple
66. Stop reading the caf
67. Except the matchday threads
68. Avvoid losing over entertainment
69. Prioritize entertaining style over results
70. Be critical of wins with bad play
71. Stick to your style always
72. Don’t ever consider the donut formation, ever
73. Play front-foot dominant football
74. Prioritize defence
75. Defensive control in midfield
76. Attack at any cost
77. Don’t get thrashed by rivals
78. Clear expectations to the players
79. Be ruthless
80. My way or the highway
81. Keep professional distance to players
82. Be wary of the snakes
83. Make the players horny
84. Don’t try to please everyone
85. No favorites
86. Be nice to Kath
87. Don’t accomodate Rashford
88. Be open to how shit the players are
89. Don’t give second chances
90. Preemtive strike on the snakes
91. Play Rashford
92. Build around players for the future that you believe in. Meaning Mainoo, Garnacho, Diallo
93. Don’t try to get the best out of Rashford
94. Play the Academy players, it’s The United Way
95. Don’t talk about the United DNA
96. Don’t accept a single lapse in concentration
97. Sub players off after 10 mins
98. Freeze out Rashford
99. Give youngsters more gametime ahead of Rashford
100. Be fair
101. Sell Rashford x 20
102. Push Shaw out
103. Sell Maguire
104. Sell Anthony
105. Sell anyone
106. Mazraoui is decent even if he isn’t a WB
107. Sell everyone
108. Buy PL-winner level players
109. Buy Enzo Fernandez
110. Buy players with man bun
111. Don’t buy anyone with an injury record
112. Ask for a few attackers
113. Don’t push for specific players
114. Bring Scholesy back
115. Don’t spend big early
116. Don’t sign players from Ajax
117. Don’t buy Real Madrid rejects
118. Don’t sign players from Sporting
119. Believe in yourself
120. Don’t believe in your own hype
121. Don’t buy a house
122. Don’t listen to the caf
123. Oh, and don’t forget Bruno Furnace and Android Banana. (Really, it’s Agadoo).
Click to expand...
I think this is the right answer. A 123 part single piece of advice. Should be threadmarked.
 
Wiseman advice to Amorim: Sell Rashford, Shaw, Maguire and Lindelof this summer before its too late.
 
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