Speak softly.... and carry a big stick!
If you could offer Ruben one piece of advice
- Thread starter Wilt
- Start date
Don't feed the gremlins after midnight.
Oh and probably sell Rashford and Antony to get some money to buy players that fit your playstyle.
Oh and probably sell Rashford and Antony to get some money to buy players that fit your playstyle.
Check the players injury history before purchasing. Please and thank you.
Don't let players coast or rest on their laurels, if they're not going into training every day with the desire to get better and to achieve success at this club then get rid. Doesn't matter who it is or how good they are, we need a united squad ready to give everything for the shirt when they're on the pitch. No more lazy players who don't track back because they think they're better, in order to succeed at the top level these days you can't have any passengers.
Be nice to Kath.
It would probably to not give an inch to the media.
Don't read the Caf
Get rid of the players that have too much power yet aren't good enough before they down-tools and get you sacked.
Sunscreen would be it.
The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proven by scientists. Whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience.
The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proven by scientists. Whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience.
Get rid of Rashford.
What is it specifically about Rashford's performances over the past 18 months lead you to advise Amorim that he needs to play him?
He needs to be one of the first players moved on in order for this club to progress, it's quite astonishing that there are still people who can't see this.
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Rotate and reward good performances with game time.
Nearly every manager we've had since Fergie has been terrible at rotation, Ole was possibly the worst at it and it fuelled a dressing room mutiny against him (after he initially did a great job of restoring morale)
Ten Hag had his principles which to be fair were needed, but he undermined all of them by failing to rotate or reward. Overlooking Amad for Maz at number 10 was just bizarre but the one that really pissed me off was when he dropped Rashford who'd just broken his scoring duck. Terrible man management (and I say that as something who doesn't particularly rate Rashford)
Nearly every manager we've had since Fergie has been terrible at rotation, Ole was possibly the worst at it and it fuelled a dressing room mutiny against him (after he initially did a great job of restoring morale)
Ten Hag had his principles which to be fair were needed, but he undermined all of them by failing to rotate or reward. Overlooking Amad for Maz at number 10 was just bizarre but the one that really pissed me off was when he dropped Rashford who'd just broken his scoring duck. Terrible man management (and I say that as something who doesn't particularly rate Rashford)
To spare future generations of fans and manager the plight of having to read the whole thread, I’ve taken the liberty to condense all the leadership knowledge of the cf into one, easy-to-read document to be put in a sticky in place of this thread, and forwarded to Mr Amorim and all future head coaches and managers of the club.
Management advice:
1. Avoid the caf at all costs
2. Wear sunscreen
3. Wipe front to back
4. Don’t eat yellow snow
5. Don’t eat fish’n’chips
6. Don’t remove the ketchup
7. Don’t bang the physio’s wife
8. What ever you do, don’t eat the chicken
9. Leave Micah Bell in prison
10. Don’t count on Tahiti plan
11. Never do anything out of hunger, not even eating
12. Don’t feed the gremlins after midnight
13. Find the jade monkey before the next full moon
14. Be careful, the roof leaks
15. Avoid printworks on Saturday
16. Don’t read the English press
17. Say ‘mate’ to journalists
18. Be charismatic with the press
19. Don’t talk about trophies
20. Don’t be arrogant when terrible
21. Call out ref’s
22. No drama
23. Walk softly … and carry a big stick
24. Never judge a sausage by it’s skin
25. Ignore media, fans, pundits, ex players and the voices in your head
26. Be true to yourself
27. Be realistic
28. Don’t believe in your own hype
29. Think happy thoughts
30. Avoid the caf at all costs
31. Get out while you can
32. When offered extension, get big money termination clause
33. Don’t be like Erik
34. Avvoid hair loss
35. Go bald
36. Resign now
37. Believe in your philosophy
38. Talk with previous managers and coaches
39. Don’t talk about The United Way
40. The United Way is about fighting to the last
41. Don’t follow The United Way
42. Introduce your own style from day one, accept the cost of bad results this season
43. Stick to the plan
44. Don’t get stabbed in the back
45. Follow the process
46. Never use the word ‘process’
47. Beware that PL teams are great at counters, so don’t play like Sporting
48. Believe in your methods
49. Try to understand the PL
50. Don’t let the media pressure you into bad devisions
51. Don’t die on a Rashford and Bruno hill
52. Stay grounded
53. Don’t be a good guy
54. Stay strong
55. No remorse
56. You snooze, you lose
57. Pass better, work on your first touch yeah?
58. Keep it simple
59. Don’t think we’re Arsenal
60. Don’t think we’re Arsenal under Wenger
61. Focus on top 4
62. Don’t talk about winning trophies
63. Ambition always to win the league
64. Be patient
65. Win a quadruple
66. Stop reading the caf
67. Except the matchday threads
68. Avvoid losing over entertainment
69. Prioritize entertaining style over results
70. Be critical of wins with bad play
71. Stick to your style always
72. Don’t ever consider the donut formation, ever
73. Play front-foot dominant football
74. Prioritize defence
75. Defensive control in midfield
76. Attack at any cost
77. Don’t get thrashed by rivals
78. Clear expectations to the players
79. Be ruthless
80. My way or the highway
81. Keep professional distance to players
82. Be wary of the snakes
83. Make the players horny
84. Don’t try to please everyone
85. No favorites
86. Be nice to Kath
87. Don’t accomodate Rashford
88. Be open to how shit the players are
89. Don’t give second chances
90. Preemtive strike on the snakes
91. Play Rashford
92. Build around players for the future that you believe in. Meaning Mainoo, Garnacho, Diallo
93. Don’t try to get the best out of Rashford
94. Play the Academy players, it’s The United Way
95. Don’t talk about the United DNA
96. Don’t accept a single lapse in concentration
97. Sub players off after 10 mins
98. Freeze out Rashford
99. Give youngsters more gametime ahead of Rashford
100. Be fair
101. Sell Rashford x 20
102. Push Shaw out
103. Sell Maguire
104. Sell Anthony
105. Sell anyone
106. Mazraoui is decent even if he isn’t a WB
107. Sell everyone
108. Buy PL-winner level players
109. Buy Enzo Fernandez
110. Buy players with man bun
111. Don’t buy anyone with an injury record
112. Ask for a few attackers
113. Don’t push for specific players
114. Bring Scholesy back
115. Don’t spend big early
116. Don’t sign players from Ajax
117. Don’t buy Real Madrid rejects
118. Don’t sign players from Sporting
119. Believe in yourself
120. Don’t believe in your own hype
121. Don’t buy a house
122. Don’t listen to the caf
Management advice:
1. Avoid the caf at all costs
2. Wear sunscreen
3. Wipe front to back
4. Don’t eat yellow snow
5. Don’t eat fish’n’chips
6. Don’t remove the ketchup
7. Don’t bang the physio’s wife
8. What ever you do, don’t eat the chicken
9. Leave Micah Bell in prison
10. Don’t count on Tahiti plan
11. Never do anything out of hunger, not even eating
12. Don’t feed the gremlins after midnight
13. Find the jade monkey before the next full moon
14. Be careful, the roof leaks
15. Avoid printworks on Saturday
16. Don’t read the English press
17. Say ‘mate’ to journalists
18. Be charismatic with the press
19. Don’t talk about trophies
20. Don’t be arrogant when terrible
21. Call out ref’s
22. No drama
23. Walk softly … and carry a big stick
24. Never judge a sausage by it’s skin
25. Ignore media, fans, pundits, ex players and the voices in your head
26. Be true to yourself
27. Be realistic
28. Don’t believe in your own hype
29. Think happy thoughts
30. Avoid the caf at all costs
31. Get out while you can
32. When offered extension, get big money termination clause
33. Don’t be like Erik
34. Avvoid hair loss
35. Go bald
36. Resign now
37. Believe in your philosophy
38. Talk with previous managers and coaches
39. Don’t talk about The United Way
40. The United Way is about fighting to the last
41. Don’t follow The United Way
42. Introduce your own style from day one, accept the cost of bad results this season
43. Stick to the plan
44. Don’t get stabbed in the back
45. Follow the process
46. Never use the word ‘process’
47. Beware that PL teams are great at counters, so don’t play like Sporting
48. Believe in your methods
49. Try to understand the PL
50. Don’t let the media pressure you into bad devisions
51. Don’t die on a Rashford and Bruno hill
52. Stay grounded
53. Don’t be a good guy
54. Stay strong
55. No remorse
56. You snooze, you lose
57. Pass better, work on your first touch yeah?
58. Keep it simple
59. Don’t think we’re Arsenal
60. Don’t think we’re Arsenal under Wenger
61. Focus on top 4
62. Don’t talk about winning trophies
63. Ambition always to win the league
64. Be patient
65. Win a quadruple
66. Stop reading the caf
67. Except the matchday threads
68. Avvoid losing over entertainment
69. Prioritize entertaining style over results
70. Be critical of wins with bad play
71. Stick to your style always
72. Don’t ever consider the donut formation, ever
73. Play front-foot dominant football
74. Prioritize defence
75. Defensive control in midfield
76. Attack at any cost
77. Don’t get thrashed by rivals
78. Clear expectations to the players
79. Be ruthless
80. My way or the highway
81. Keep professional distance to players
82. Be wary of the snakes
83. Make the players horny
84. Don’t try to please everyone
85. No favorites
86. Be nice to Kath
87. Don’t accomodate Rashford
88. Be open to how shit the players are
89. Don’t give second chances
90. Preemtive strike on the snakes
91. Play Rashford
92. Build around players for the future that you believe in. Meaning Mainoo, Garnacho, Diallo
93. Don’t try to get the best out of Rashford
94. Play the Academy players, it’s The United Way
95. Don’t talk about the United DNA
96. Don’t accept a single lapse in concentration
97. Sub players off after 10 mins
98. Freeze out Rashford
99. Give youngsters more gametime ahead of Rashford
100. Be fair
101. Sell Rashford x 20
102. Push Shaw out
103. Sell Maguire
104. Sell Anthony
105. Sell anyone
106. Mazraoui is decent even if he isn’t a WB
107. Sell everyone
108. Buy PL-winner level players
109. Buy Enzo Fernandez
110. Buy players with man bun
111. Don’t buy anyone with an injury record
112. Ask for a few attackers
113. Don’t push for specific players
114. Bring Scholesy back
115. Don’t spend big early
116. Don’t sign players from Ajax
117. Don’t buy Real Madrid rejects
118. Don’t sign players from Sporting
119. Believe in yourself
120. Don’t believe in your own hype
121. Don’t buy a house
122. Don’t listen to the caf
This and start grinding out goals from set pieces again. Yoro Maguire and De Ligt are dangerous in the oppo box. Ugarte and Rasmus are physical. We should be much more of a threat from them. Take inswinging corners. ETH had shaw taking them from the left and Bruno from the right at one point? Total waste of time!
Set the midfield up to win the physical battle and then set the tempo. That’s how you dominate and win games. The match is won and lost in midfield. Stamp your authority on the weaker teams and watch them roll over while making your forwards look good instead of letting them run all over you and out work you leaving your defenders unprotected and becoming short on confidence when we keep making mistakes, conceding soft goals and cutbacks. It’s elementary stuff surely
Yoro has scored a grand total of 3 goals from 72 games, how do you know he's dangerous in the box
Because that’s about as much as all of our other previous centre backs combined until De Ligt came in. He’s 18 and he’s massive. Let me be optimistic!
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Believe in yourself.
one piece of advice as a fan - don't listen to advice from fans and ex-players
Obviously it's not quite black and white like that. If he works miracles this season and wins a cup and gets CL, then great! Even if he doesn't, it's not like he's going to get sacked this summer. He'd have to be new levels of bad for such a thing to even be considered. That's what I mean by zero pressure.
If there's a scale and the two sides are working on his philosophy, scoring goals, playing attractive football in general vs being pragmatic and hanging on to 1-0 or 2-1 wins, I'd tilt it towards the former in most cases.
Ignore the advice from fans and pundits. Buy a striker who has a history of scoring 15+ goals a season atleast
Do it your way. Be ruthless. Ignore the noise.
Fantastic effort, well done.... however its "Speak softly... and carry a big stick"
Management advice - updated version
1. Avoid the caf at all costs
2. Wear sunscreen
3. Wipe front to back
4. Don’t eat yellow snow
5. Don’t eat fish’n’chips
6. Don’t remove the ketchup
7. Don’t bang the physio’s wife
8. What ever you do, don’t eat the chicken
9. Leave Micah Bell in prison
10. Don’t count on Tahiti plan
11. Never do anything out of hunger, not even eating
12. Don’t feed the gremlins after midnight
13. Find the jade monkey before the next full moon
14. Be careful, the roof leaks
15. Avoid printworks on Saturday
16. Don’t read the English press
17. Say ‘mate’ to journalists
18. Be charismatic with the press
19. Don’t talk about trophies
20. Don’t be arrogant when terrible
21. Call out ref’s
22. No drama
23. Speak (and walk) softly … and carry a big stick
24. Never judge a sausage by it’s skin
25. Ignore media, fans, pundits, ex players and the voices in your head
26. Be true to yourself
27. Be realistic
28. Don’t believe in your own hype
29. Think happy thoughts
30. Avoid the caf at all costs
31. Get out while you can
32. When offered extension, get big money termination clause
33. Don’t be like Erik
34. Avvoid hair loss
35. Go bald
36. Resign now
37. Believe in your philosophy
38. Talk with previous managers and coaches
39. Don’t talk about The United Way
40. The United Way is about fighting to the last
41. Don’t follow The United Way
42. Introduce your own style from day one, accept the cost of bad results this season
43. Stick to the plan
44. Don’t get stabbed in the back
45. Follow the process
46. Never use the word ‘process’
47. Beware that PL teams are great at counters, so don’t play like Sporting
48. Believe in your methods
49. Try to understand the PL
50. Don’t let the media pressure you into bad devisions
51. Don’t die on a Rashford and Bruno hill
52. Stay grounded
53. Don’t be a good guy
54. Stay strong
55. No remorse
56. You snooze, you lose
57. Pass better, work on your first touch yeah?
58. Keep it simple
59. Don’t think we’re Arsenal
60. Don’t think we’re Arsenal under Wenger
61. Focus on top 4
62. Don’t talk about winning trophies
63. Ambition always to win the league
64. Be patient
65. Win a quadruple
66. Stop reading the caf
67. Except the matchday threads
68. Avvoid losing over entertainment
69. Prioritize entertaining style over results
70. Be critical of wins with bad play
71. Stick to your style always
72. Don’t ever consider the donut formation, ever
73. Play front-foot dominant football
74. Prioritize defence
75. Defensive control in midfield
76. Attack at any cost
77. Don’t get thrashed by rivals
78. Clear expectations to the players
79. Be ruthless
80. My way or the highway
81. Keep professional distance to players
82. Be wary of the snakes
83. Make the players horny
84. Don’t try to please everyone
85. No favorites
86. Be nice to Kath
87. Don’t accomodate Rashford
88. Be open to how shit the players are
89. Don’t give second chances
90. Preemtive strike on the snakes
91. Play Rashford
92. Build around players for the future that you believe in. Meaning Mainoo, Garnacho, Diallo
93. Don’t try to get the best out of Rashford
94. Play the Academy players, it’s The United Way
95. Don’t talk about the United DNA
96. Don’t accept a single lapse in concentration
97. Sub players off after 10 mins
98. Freeze out Rashford
99. Give youngsters more gametime ahead of Rashford
100. Be fair
101. Sell Rashford x 20
102. Push Shaw out
103. Sell Maguire
104. Sell Anthony
105. Sell anyone
106. Mazraoui is decent even if he isn’t a WB
107. Sell everyone
108. Buy PL-winner level players
109. Buy Enzo Fernandez
110. Buy players with man bun
111. Don’t buy anyone with an injury record
112. Ask for a few attackers
113. Don’t push for specific players
114. Bring Scholesy back
115. Don’t spend big early
116. Don’t sign players from Ajax
117. Don’t buy Real Madrid rejects
118. Don’t sign players from Sporting
119. Believe in yourself
120. Don’t believe in your own hype
121. Don’t buy a house
122. Don’t listen to the caf
Doing the God’s work.
However, #34 has a typo. It also directly contradicts #35 - if we don’t solve this before it goes to Amorim, the universe may likely implode into nothingness.
Stick to what has made you successful so far, we're a patient bunch as long as we see some progress.
Think he should just be true to his own philosophy on how a team should play football.
Even if that means he has to drop certain players or call kids into the team.
Even if that means he has to drop certain players or call kids into the team.
To put it this way: That you only found one contradiction, worries me considerably more than that you only found one type.
And I think the Universe has already imploded into nothingness several times during the last season. I believe it’s commonly referred to as ‘The Donut Effect’
I would impart to Looben ze story of ze hippo
I cannot stop laughing. Spot on.
Ignore the negativity that the English media give us. Focus on the job of getting the best out of these players
My advice would be to don't listen to my advice!
But beyond that, rid the club of the frauds, shysters, wasters, glums, aged, crocked and, well, that's it probably
But beyond that, rid the club of the frauds, shysters, wasters, glums, aged, crocked and, well, that's it probably
No way to speak about Garnacho, Hojlund, Mainoo and Amad
Don't rely on Luke Shaw to stay fit. Buy a left (wing) back.
Remember what got you the job and follow through on those methods. You have an extraordinarily patient set of fans who won't turn on you as long as the team shows progress. EtH never tried playing how his Ajax team played and it was his downfall. Don't make the same mistake.
Do not start Rashford until he starts playing well
Buy a possession midfielder and a new striker
Play attractive football!
Buy a possession midfielder and a new striker
Play attractive football!
Stick to your guns, and don't be swayed by the media, the fans, the former players, the pundits or the cacophony of noise that surrounds everything that happens at MUFC. Take your own path and they will eventually follow you, cap in hand.