I’m a simple man who has never been involved in multi million pound transfers but surely it isn’t more complicated than this...
If you're simplifying it like that, I'd say it's more:
United: Is FDJ for sale?
Agent: Actually there are a load of problems at Barca and we are considering our options so yes, possibly.
United: Oh? Well in the event he does leave, we just signed up EtH and he wants to build the team around Frenkie.
Agent: Sounds interesting... hold on... * covers the reciever with his hand and shouts at someone in Dutch * ... * muffled response from another room * ... Frenkie says that sounds like a great idea. If he has to leave Barca he would love to come to United. For the right price of course.
United: Of course. Rest assured we value Frenkie very highly. We can talk numbers soon but I don't think there will be a problem. Tell us more about these problems at Barca...
Agent: Well, you are not going to believe this shit...
The next day...
United: Oh, err, hola, is that Barca?
Barca: Maybe... who is this?
United: It's United. We, err, we just wondered if you had any good players for sale? Someone like, ohhhhh I dunno * snigger * FDJ maybe?
Barca: Okay, thank god... we didnt recognise the number and thought you might be someone else. FDJ you say? We like Frenkie but maybe at the right price.
United: Ok, that makes sense.
Negotiate. Price agreed.
Barca: You want Depay too?
United: No, thanks.
Barca: How about Braithwaite? We give you great deal on Braithwaite if you take him too.
United: No.
Barca: 49% stake in Barcelona's Wedding and Bar Mitzvah Holdings for the next 40 years?
United: ...