Daily Mail

I'll put on my LP of My Lovely Mayo Mammy in solidarity.
 
Jippy said:
Fecking weird 18 year-old.

Daniel O'Donnell superfan, 18, says Plymouth tour snub has 'ruined my life'

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'Daniel is a great singer; I’m gutted he isn't coming to Plymouth. There are many fans in Plymouth that support Daniel, so I’m upset on their behalf too.'
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His hairline would be impressive if it wasn't so unnerving
 
Good 'what if' scenario as a local take on the day's big world news story...Can't help feeling that they missed a trick by not having a mocked up pic of their chavvy high street with the bettings shops, Cash Convertors and Netto branch reduced to mere rubble.

This is what would happen if North Korea dropped a hydrogen bomb on Penzance

'It should be stressed the chances of Penzance, West Penwith and Cornwall being targeted by North Korea are very low.'

http://www.cornishman.co.uk/happen-...b-Penzance/story-28474901-detail/story.html#1
 
Bomb gets radiation sickness after falling on Daily Mail office
 
Jippy said:
Good 'what if' scenario as a local take on the day's big world news story...Can't help feeling that they missed a trick by not having a mocked up pic of their chavvy high street with the bettings shops, Cash Convertors and Netto branch reduced to mere rubble.

This is what would happen if North Korea dropped a hydrogen bomb on Penzance

'It should be stressed the chances of Penzance, West Penwith and Cornwall being targeted by North Korea are very low.'

http://www.cornishman.co.uk/happen-...b-Penzance/story-28474901-detail/story.html#1
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:lol:
 
The DM's 'etiquette expert' is back. He didn't wind them up as much as usual- a lot of them are finally cottoning on to the fact that he is quite funny.

How posh is YOUR bedroom? Etiquette expert reveals the 12 ways your boudoir reveals your social class (and why you should never sleep in silk sheets)

A basin in a bedroom is either seen in bedsits or in the bedrooms of high nobility. Unless you have legitimate Ducal tendencies it is best to get the man in from the village to rip out your bedroom plumbing. Add a valet stand perhaps, where the basin once was.

NB: a basin is where you wash your hands; a sink is where you wash pots and pans. Getting the terms wrong is embarrassing.
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Does your maid or valet bring you a small ‘calling’ tray of tea or coffee in the morning to wake you? Perhaps with the morning newspaper carefully folded to one side? Very smart and a hangover from a by-gone age of elegance.
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www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-3397577/How-posh-bedroom-Etiquette-expert-reveals-12-ways-boudoir-reveals-social-class.html#ixzz3xE95W4Ve
 
Does your maid or valet bring you a small ‘calling’ tray of tea or coffee in the morning to wake you? Perhaps with the morning newspaper carefully folded to one side? Very smart and a hangover from a by-gone age of elegance.
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My lifestyle resembles the miners' from the 80's series Brass; perhaps the expert has overlooked this inconvenient fact. :D
 
SteveJ said:
My lifestyle resembles the miners' from the 80's series Brass; perhaps the expert has overlooked this inconvenient fact. :D
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His 'What YOUR lavatory (never say toilet) says about you' may strike a chord though.

You can easily spot a lower-middle household if a euphemistic term is used like ‘littlest room’ or ‘powder room’.
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Two of my friends have one of those naff sensor-pebbles that gas me upon its detection of my arrival, injecting what is really the most artificial odour onto my cashmere roll neck.
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http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/a...rt-reveals-lavatory-says-social-standing.html
 
An example of the Daily Mail at its finest:

Sassy Colin said:
Maybe he's just found his level?

JAVIER HERNANDEZ CAREER STATISTICS

Year Team Apps Goals
2006-10 Guadalajara 64 26
2010-15 Manchester United 103 37
2014-15 Real Madrid (loan) 23 7
2015- Bayer Leverkusen 22 19

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/fo...tml?ITO=1490&ns_mchannel=rss&ns_campaign=1490
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Eila said:
Why are they counting only league apps/goals for his first 3 clubs but every competition for Leverkusen? To make the numbers seem more inflated?
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Sassy Colin said:
Daily Mail (Ahem) the paper that gives you the truth.

What an absolutely disgusting rag it is.
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Driver made to pay £145 for eating a banana behind the wheel while her car was stuck in a traffic jam

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*Single mother Elsa Harris ate a banana while she was stopped in traffic
*A police officer saw her and issued an on-the-spot fine claiming she was endangering other road users
*Ms Harris, 45, appealed against the penalty but pleaded guilty in court
*She was given £145 fine and three points sending insurance cost soaring
*Bananas are yellow
*As a Mail reader, you're probably too lazy to read the article, hence the bullet points

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3406669/Driver-pay-145-eating-banana-wheel.html
 
SteveJ said:
Driver made to pay £145 for eating a banana behind the wheel while her car was stuck in a traffic jam

30540C9B00000578-3406669-image-m-187_1453216455126.jpg


*Single mother Elsa Harris ate a banana while she was stopped in traffic
*A police officer saw her and issued an on-the-spot fine claiming she was endangering other road users
*Ms Harris, 45, appealed against the penalty but pleaded guilty in court
*She was given £145 fine and three points sending insurance cost soaring
*Bananas are yellow
*As a Mail reader, you're probably too lazy to read the article, hence the bullet points

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3406669/Driver-pay-145-eating-banana-wheel.html
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Depends on how she was eating it, I guess. It only really needs to enter the mouth once. Anything more is just irresponsible.
 
GGO, London, Chad, 4 hours ago

If she CAN'T follow the LAW ,then she SHOULDN'T BE DRIVING
 
Is GGO one of their columnists? ;)
 
:lol: Seems a bit harsh on the Tories.
 
Jippy said:
He reads more like a Daily Mirror columnist, but this comment made me laugh for some reason.

Is this Leo's year? The Revenant leads the way with 12 nominations as the Oscar 2016 contenders are revealed

Tory LUVVIES
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Some great stuff in the comments there…

"So they are all white, since when has skin colour made a difference to acting ability? What an utterly ridiculous thing to say!"

"I thought the Oscars rewarded film excellence, not political correctness."

"Stop bringing race into everything! These people are voted on by their peers. Let's let talent shine through, for pete's sake."

"Why should a person of color be nominated if they don't deserve it?? It's exactly the same as giving trophies to losers, just makes no sense"

"Oh Please, stop with this stupid race thing. WHO CARES!"

"The awards are for the best , not the best diverse."

"So now we should nominate people based on their their skin color & gender instead of the best work?? This PC BS is getting way out of hand!!"

"So what if all are white and men?...trying to stir race bs where it's not needed."

"Oh, please. You "people of color" have your own award shows, colleges, TV Networks and so on.. that DO NOT include anyone else than "people of color" and you dont hear any whining about that, do you?? Sit down."

"Absolutely ridiculous trying to make EVERYTHING about race. When its not."

"Here's a thought. Maybe the best actors are white this year."

"So tired of the race-obsessed PC brigade!"

"Perhaps race and gender had nothing to do with the nominations , now here's a thought , perhaps they were the best films . Similarly why sometimes white men get certain jobs , nothing to do with discrimination simply they are the best candidate for the role . The sooner we get back to that mindset the better ."

% of US population who are female: ~51.5%
% of Best Director winners who are female: 1.13%

% of US population who are black: ~12%
% of Best Actor/Actress winners who are black: 2.84%
 
Even dogs are racist now.

CourtNewsUK @CourtNewsUK
A dog owner claimed her Jack Russell attacked a woman in a park because 'it doesn't like Muslims', a court heard.
 
Untied said:
% of US population who are female: ~51.5%
% of Best Director winners who are female: 1.13%

% of US population who are black: ~12%
% of Best Actor/Actress winners who are black: 2.84%
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Seems that in last 20 years, out of 80 acting winners, supporting included, 10 were black. 12.5% if my math hasn't failed me.
 
SteveJ said:
Driver made to pay £145 for eating a banana behind the wheel while her car was stuck in a traffic jam

30540C9B00000578-3406669-image-m-187_1453216455126.jpg


*Single mother Elsa Harris ate a banana while she was stopped in traffic
*A police officer saw her and issued an on-the-spot fine claiming she was endangering other road users
*Ms Harris, 45, appealed against the penalty but pleaded guilty in court
*She was given £145 fine and three points sending insurance cost soaring
*Bananas are yellow
*As a Mail reader, you're probably too lazy to read the article, hence the bullet points

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3406669/Driver-pay-145-eating-banana-wheel.html
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It's good that she is holding a bunch of bananas, just in case any of the readers didn't know what a banana looked like.
 
LeChuck said:
DM's front page this morning...can someone post it?

It both plants anti immigrant feeling while praising that Aussie migrant tennis player for being British. Only in the DM.
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Spoilered for size:

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A migrant dies of hypothermia outside a reception centre; Daily Mail's highest-rated comments:

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