Daily Mail

Bit garbled this story, but some great lines that make it read more like a Viz piss take.

Gravesend smoker chucked off bus in Clive Road for allegedly dropping cigarette

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Mr Thomson, who suffers with severe paranoia said: “He’s ruined my whole day."

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Heavy nicotine staining on view.

Martin Thomson, from Windmill Street, was escorted off a bus outside Debenhams in Clive Road on November 19, because the enforcement officer refused to let it leave with him still on it, allegedly telling the 49-year-old, “I am the law.”

http://www.newsshopper.co.uk/news/g...ked_off_bus_for_allegedly_dropping_cigarette/
 
“I am the law.”
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Blimey, it's Judge Dredd. Judge Dredd On The Buses movie ahoy.
 
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SteveJ said:
Blimey, it's Judge Dredd. Judge Dredd On The Buses movie ahoy.
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Just loved the man who suffers from 'severe paranoia' feels people are out to get him vibe of the piece.
 
That's exactly what an Illuminati member would say.
 
Is Vlad a vampire? Conspiracy theorists go nuts over pictures that suggests Putin hasn't changed his appearance in 100 years
  • Photos taken in 1920 and 1941 show two men the look remarkably similar to Russian president Vladimir Putin
  • This has led some to speculate on social media that he is immortal and can time travel
  • Others believe Putin may have sat for Da Vinci when he painted the Mona Lisa, and lived as Vlad the Impaler
  • None of these above claims have been scientifically proven in any way
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http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/art...-Russians-discovering-secret-time-travel.html
 
They're justified and they're ancient.
 
Maybe these twits are confusing Father Christmas with God. An easy mistake to make.
 
Not much Christmas cheer in the regions...

Family forced to survive on Quality Street after pub ruined Xmas lunch

'I had to stab the stuffing balls like you would spear a fish and they were so hard you felt like they were going to break your teeth. You don’t imagine you’ll be eating Quality Streets for your main meal at Christmas.'

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http://www.wiltshiretimes.co.uk/new...r_after_pub__ruined__festive_day/?ref=mr&lp=1
 
Silva said:
Have you ever thought about getting a hobby?
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:lol:It seems I share one with SteveJ. Must admit, I'm bored, waiting for the missus to get back from work.
 
I'll have you know that I'm boycotting the Mail because of its wall-to-wall Kardashians coverage; those reprobates are like the Nazis, only with worse fashion sense.
 
Mail reader's alleged past-life memory:

Was my boy once a Nazi?
When my son, 52, was three, he would march around doing a Nazi goose-step, saluting and saying ‘Hi Hitler’.
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He's due for some serious royalties then.
 
Fecking weird 18 year-old.

Daniel O'Donnell superfan, 18, says Plymouth tour snub has 'ruined my life'

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'Daniel is a great singer; I’m gutted he isn't coming to Plymouth. There are many fans in Plymouth that support Daniel, so I’m upset on their behalf too.'
 
Jippy said:
Fecking weird 18 year-old.

Daniel O'Donnell superfan, 18, says Plymouth tour snub has 'ruined my life'

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'Daniel is a great singer; I’m gutted he isn't coming to Plymouth. There are many fans in Plymouth that support Daniel, so I’m upset on their behalf too.'
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He's had a hard life, 18 my arse. I look younger than him and I'm an old git!
 
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