Zlatan Ibrahimovic |United Player | See the thread in the United Forum

Should we sign Ibra on a free this summer ?

  • Total voters
    1,389
  • Poll closed .
Status
Not open for further replies.
Good that just about confirms it, that he will move to Manchester, which is what they refer to us outside England. Lets hope Sweden is knocked out early so we can seal this deal. Its important we sign as much players possible early on, so they can start on the first day of preseason.
 
sokol11 said:
Zlatan's calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd. No one fools with Zlatan.
Click to expand...
Thats true apparently, also i heard once that Zlatan has a bear skin rug in his lounge, it isn't dead, its just too afraid to move.
 
Mr Pigeon said:
The journos haven't got a clue, as is often the case at this point.

Step One - Think of a player who people care about.
Step Two - Think of a club that people either really love or really hate.
Step Three - Make stuff up about a meeting between the player and the club's reps, including every fine little detail about what went on during that meeting, what was said, who had the shrimp salad and later brought it back up, who sharted etc.
Step Four - But cover your own back by making vague comments about how everything is still up in the air and plans might change.
Step Five - Ask reps from club or player about the supposed meeting they had, using your own story as the source of your claims.
Step Six - Have some of your equally useless colleagues mention your story in their own stories about the whole thing. Keep doing this until no one remembers who wrote the original story so that it can't be fact checked.
Step Seven - Approach the player or club for comment, citing the multiple stories about the topic as proof that the thing is completely true and not just something that you made up.
Step Eight - Get upset when the player or club question the validity of your claims, or even question your ability as a proper journalist.
Step Nine - Act like a little bitch and cry in an editorial article about how mean and nasty the football people are, and how you're totally not fat and it's because you had an operation recently or something.
Step Ten - Make a guest appearance on Talksport.
Click to expand...
:lol:
 
When Zlatan takes the lie detector test, the machine confesses.

Zlatan once killed two stones with one bird.

When Zlatan makes a grammatical mistake, the dictionary is updated.

Zlatan once went out for a bike ride and accidentally won the Tour de France.

Zlatan knows Victoria's Secret.

Zlatan is Hugo's Boss.
 
If Zlatan ever get caught for speeding, he'd let the cops off with a warning!
 
Adebesi said:
I was just looking at a compilation of the 100 greatest footballers currently playing on The Guardian. Zlatan was number 7, behind the Barca front 3, Ronaldo, Lew and Thomas Muller.
Click to expand...
Not far off the truth, you'd think?
 
Adebesi said:
I was just looking at a compilation of the 100 greatest footballers currently playing on The Guardian. Zlatan was number 7, behind the Barca front 3, Ronaldo, Lew and Thomas Muller.
Click to expand...
I'd probably have Bale in over Lewa but the rest seems spot on.
 
Could United not just send representatives to France to sign the deal?

I'm sure the contract talks are complete, it's just signing now. I'd feel more at ease if I was United if the deal was just signed. It would stop any remote possibility of a team suddenly putting a better offer forward to him, we all know his agent is a sneaky shite.
 
Now Hamren has had his say on the speculation surrounding the frontman. Quoted by Swedish newspaper Goteborgs-Posten, he said: “Players have their leisure time on the schedule – there’s nothing I can control. But it would not be OK for Zlatan to fly to Manchester.”

Hamren also emphasised his confidence the speculation will not have a negative impact on Ibrahimovic or any of the rest of the Sweden squad. He added: “I’m 100% sure it will not affect Zlatan. He has been in the business a long time.

“I understand there is a lot of Zlatan media. Not only in Sweden. I understand that. But with us, it is nothing. He handles it perfectly. The players are familiar with it. You can be calm – there is nothing that has affected us negatively in the group. Absolutely nothing.”
 
Zlatan doesn't leave Transfer Matching System faxes until the last second, thus creating timestamp and league registration disagreement, he files all paperwork in a timely manner.

Am I doing this right?
 
Turnbl said:
Zlatan doesn't leave Transfer Matching System faxes until the last second, thus creating timestamp and league registration disagreement, he files all paperwork in a timely manner.

Am I doing this right?
Click to expand...
This is the most German Chuck Norris-style joke I've ever heard.
 
sammsky1 said:
Now Hamren has had his say on the speculation surrounding the frontman. Quoted by Swedish newspaper Goteborgs-Posten, he said: “Players have their leisure time on the schedule – there’s nothing I can control. But it would not be OK for Zlatan to fly to Manchester.”

Hamren also emphasised his confidence the speculation will not have a negative impact on Ibrahimovic or any of the rest of the Sweden squad. He added: “I’m 100% sure it will not affect Zlatan. He has been in the business a long time.

“I understand there is a lot of Zlatan media. Not only in Sweden. I understand that. But with us, it is nothing. He handles it perfectly. The players are familiar with it. You can be calm – there is nothing that has affected us negatively in the group. Absolutely nothing.”
Click to expand...

If Zlatan wants to fly he will. Hamrén is just trying to prove hes the boss.
 
RMD83 said:
Thats true apparently, also i heard once that Zlatan has a bear skin rug in his lounge, it isn't dead, its just too afraid to move.
Click to expand...

baanke laal said:
Zlatan once killed two stones with one bird.

Zlatan knows Victoria's Secret.
Click to expand...

sokol11 said:
Zlatan's calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd. No one fools with Zlatan.
Click to expand...

Red Stone said:
Zlatan doesn't dial the wrong number. You pick up the wrong phone.
Click to expand...

:lol:
 
Status
Not open for further replies.