The memo really is worse than the abuses that led to the American Revolution
By Alexandra Petri
Sebastian Gorka was right when he told Fox News that the Nunes memo would be 100 times bigger than the offenses that kicked off the American Revolution.
When I saw that the memo from House Intelligence Committee Chairman Devin Nunes’s (R-Calif.) office had been released, I could not believe my eyes. I sat bolt upright in my long nightshirt and grabbed my flintlock musket. I ran to the window and threw up the sash (no, hang on, that is a different poem), hopped on my steed, and went galloping off to alert my brethren.
King George had done certain things, of course, that were not to be borne, but next to this memo, I was sure, they paled.
“AWAKE, AWAKE!” I cried, clanging into Medford Square, “UP AND TO ARMS!”
“Why?” demanded the honest townsfolk.
“Remember how upset we were when King George plundered our seas, ravaged our coasts, burned our towns and destroyed the lives of our people?” I demanded to know. “Well, I have the Nunes memo, and compared with its contents, I can assure you, that was child’s play!”
“What does the memo say?” a townsman inquired.
“SOMETHING ABOUT CARTER PAGE!” I shouted, spurring my horse. “SOMETHING THE DEMOCRATS DID NOT WISH TO BE SEEN! On, on to Lexington!” I reined in my steed beneath the gilded weathercock.