You missed the minus sign in front somehow. I'm still reeling from how bad it was, times of nearly falling asleep, times of nearly walking out, and then the ending after ending after ending was just like watching us vs. Everton and waiting for the torment to end.
Film The Redcafe Movie review thread
- Thread starter golden_blunder
- Start date
Alien (1979)
Just great.
9/10
Just great.
Blimey...Wikipedia said:
9/10
The Perfection:
Nutso Netflix film about an elite cello school in Boston and the female students there.
Billed as a horror/thriller it was reasonably enjoyable despite seeming a lot like Get Out and Whiplash, that film about the craziness at Juilliard.
Some lesbo scenes to pull in the male viewers too.
The black girl was
6/10.
Nutso Netflix film about an elite cello school in Boston and the female students there.
Billed as a horror/thriller it was reasonably enjoyable despite seeming a lot like Get Out and Whiplash, that film about the craziness at Juilliard.
Some lesbo scenes to pull in the male viewers too.
The black girl was
6/10.
Good stuff
Ole. Nice early adapter!
Well, even I know what Netflix is now!
I watched Rim of the World for.... some reason, and it’s pretty much the first time I’ve been utterly convinced that a film is actively trolling me, personally.
A Netflix jobby about a bunch of kids at an implausibly Rim named summer camp who get caught up in an alien invasion and have to save the world, solve their story mandated individual issues, and also ride bikes. It’s unsubtly set up as a pandering elaborate nostalgic homage to the kind of Speilbergian Amblin kids adventure films of the 80s. The kind that film & TV makers who grew up in the 80s, and are now powerful and making things, seem obsessed with re-making, or updating, or “paying homage to” whilst simultaneously telling us how no one’s making these kinds of things anymore.
And it does this so bluntly and egregiously, that I became convinced it was going to reveal itself as some kind of Meta-twist comment on the subject by the end. Because I genuinely couldn’t fathom that someone would make (or be allowed to make) a completely straight, on the nose rehash of a bad 1980s kids film in 2019, complete with awful 2D supporting characters and cheesy drama beats, only for adults, without some kind of deconstructionist take on it...
This idea was made all the more convincing by the decision to have each scene dramatically change its colour grading, to (seemingly?) illustrate different kinds of blockbuster aesthetics, starting at the point of the invasion. As well as a completely unironic bit where they all change into garishly branded vaguely retro addidas clothing for absolutely no reason, and then proceed to have a dance montage during the apocalypse. These things were so shamelessly blatant that, coupled with the amusingly bad one note authority figures who kept popping up to earnestly entrust the fate of the World to 4 sports casual branded children, I became more and more convinced that the film was heading towards a denouement where the cheesy aesthetics would be revealed to be a part of some camp game fantasy, or a simulation, or something equally meta where what we were seeing was in some way influenced by the tropes and stereotypes of the kind of films it was paying homage to.
But.... no. No no no. It wasn’t. It genuinely was just another variety of “Hey, remember The Goonies and Stand By Me!?” only EXTRA ... and without any of the updated story and character depth of things like Stranger Things, It, Super 8 or any of the other things they keep making as homages to this very specific type of 80s film that no one is apparently making anymore....apart from all the ones they keep making.
“Well it’s probably for kids” you say?.... Except I’m not sure it is, as it’s weirdly graphic in both violence and sexual humour, which I’m pretty sure is there mostly to amuse the 40 year old dudes watching (and making) this kind of thing, as a giant excersize in nostalgia. Because everything now that’s ostensibly for kids, from Star Wars to animated films, has to also be for the 40 year old Gen Xers who get angry about the new animated iteration of She-Ra not being fit enough to masterbate over. And you know this, because the cultural touchstones these Gen Z kids reference are normal Gen Z stuff, like rubix cubes and the original Star Wars, because why would a 13 year old in 2019 have a different point of reference than a middle aged hack screenwriter?
Also I’m drunk, but whatever. It’s fecking shite.
A Netflix jobby about a bunch of kids at an implausibly Rim named summer camp who get caught up in an alien invasion and have to save the world, solve their story mandated individual issues, and also ride bikes. It’s unsubtly set up as a pandering elaborate nostalgic homage to the kind of Speilbergian Amblin kids adventure films of the 80s. The kind that film & TV makers who grew up in the 80s, and are now powerful and making things, seem obsessed with re-making, or updating, or “paying homage to” whilst simultaneously telling us how no one’s making these kinds of things anymore.
And it does this so bluntly and egregiously, that I became convinced it was going to reveal itself as some kind of Meta-twist comment on the subject by the end. Because I genuinely couldn’t fathom that someone would make (or be allowed to make) a completely straight, on the nose rehash of a bad 1980s kids film in 2019, complete with awful 2D supporting characters and cheesy drama beats, only for adults, without some kind of deconstructionist take on it...
This idea was made all the more convincing by the decision to have each scene dramatically change its colour grading, to (seemingly?) illustrate different kinds of blockbuster aesthetics, starting at the point of the invasion. As well as a completely unironic bit where they all change into garishly branded vaguely retro addidas clothing for absolutely no reason, and then proceed to have a dance montage during the apocalypse. These things were so shamelessly blatant that, coupled with the amusingly bad one note authority figures who kept popping up to earnestly entrust the fate of the World to 4 sports casual branded children, I became more and more convinced that the film was heading towards a denouement where the cheesy aesthetics would be revealed to be a part of some camp game fantasy, or a simulation, or something equally meta where what we were seeing was in some way influenced by the tropes and stereotypes of the kind of films it was paying homage to.
But.... no. No no no. It wasn’t. It genuinely was just another variety of “Hey, remember The Goonies and Stand By Me!?” only EXTRA ... and without any of the updated story and character depth of things like Stranger Things, It, Super 8 or any of the other things they keep making as homages to this very specific type of 80s film that no one is apparently making anymore....apart from all the ones they keep making.
“Well it’s probably for kids” you say?.... Except I’m not sure it is, as it’s weirdly graphic in both violence and sexual humour, which I’m pretty sure is there mostly to amuse the 40 year old dudes watching (and making) this kind of thing, as a giant excersize in nostalgia. Because everything now that’s ostensibly for kids, from Star Wars to animated films, has to also be for the 40 year old Gen Xers who get angry about the new animated iteration of She-Ra not being fit enough to masterbate over. And you know this, because the cultural touchstones these Gen Z kids reference are normal Gen Z stuff, like rubix cubes and the original Star Wars, because why would a 13 year old in 2019 have a different point of reference than a middle aged hack screenwriter?
Also I’m drunk, but whatever. It’s fecking shite.
Last edited:
Nightbreed (1990)
Available on BT TV. Not sure whether this would be considered a cult classic nowadays but films of this type were being churned out in the 80s and early 90s. To that end, it hasn't aged very well and suffers from a poor script, lack of story and some terrible acting. However, some of the makeup effects and set designs kinda make up for this. Nightbreed tells the story of a man, plagued by recurring nightmares of a secret place inhabited by a community of grotesque monsters...the Nightbreed. Now this is from the twisted mind of Clive Barker who was very imaginative when it comes to creature features and he clearly has some fun here in terms of some of his monster concepts.
The tormented guy, Boone discovers this secret hideaway and ends up becoming part of the group, leading them against the local police intent on wiping them out. Now, it's not really a horror, nor is it a thriller. It's really difficult to decide what this film is trying to be. David Cronenberg is perfectly cast in the sub-plot running through the film in the form of the shrink with a dark secret. The plot is easy to follow although the film makes no attempt to add any real substance or depth to the characters. It's like Barker just had the main ideas for his film and just loosely cobbled them all together with bits of filler. The ending is also just a loud jumbled mess that drags on for too long, though the film does go to town on the production at this point. Would have liked to have seen more of the creatures but then again when we are introduced to the Beserkers at the end, you can sort of see why the quick cuts and close-ups were used so as not to draw too much attention to the detail. The ones that do get plenty of screen time are quite decent though and would not look out of place at a Star Trek convention.
If you're expecting some kind of gorefest, atmospheric chiller or slasher thriller, sadly you've come to the wrong place, though there is some violence but not gratuitous to any degree. Not quite in the schlock horror category but probably decent in it's time, there's not really much there to get you hitting the replay button any time soon. It had the potential to be something great but ultimately fails to deliver. Not a patch on A Nightmare on Elm Street, for example, which came out many years before, I'm not exactly sure how affectionately this film is remembered. It certainly is ripe for a remake though.
I'm giving this a 5/10.
Available on BT TV. Not sure whether this would be considered a cult classic nowadays but films of this type were being churned out in the 80s and early 90s. To that end, it hasn't aged very well and suffers from a poor script, lack of story and some terrible acting. However, some of the makeup effects and set designs kinda make up for this. Nightbreed tells the story of a man, plagued by recurring nightmares of a secret place inhabited by a community of grotesque monsters...the Nightbreed. Now this is from the twisted mind of Clive Barker who was very imaginative when it comes to creature features and he clearly has some fun here in terms of some of his monster concepts.
The tormented guy, Boone discovers this secret hideaway and ends up becoming part of the group, leading them against the local police intent on wiping them out. Now, it's not really a horror, nor is it a thriller. It's really difficult to decide what this film is trying to be. David Cronenberg is perfectly cast in the sub-plot running through the film in the form of the shrink with a dark secret. The plot is easy to follow although the film makes no attempt to add any real substance or depth to the characters. It's like Barker just had the main ideas for his film and just loosely cobbled them all together with bits of filler. The ending is also just a loud jumbled mess that drags on for too long, though the film does go to town on the production at this point. Would have liked to have seen more of the creatures but then again when we are introduced to the Beserkers at the end, you can sort of see why the quick cuts and close-ups were used so as not to draw too much attention to the detail. The ones that do get plenty of screen time are quite decent though and would not look out of place at a Star Trek convention.
If you're expecting some kind of gorefest, atmospheric chiller or slasher thriller, sadly you've come to the wrong place, though there is some violence but not gratuitous to any degree. Not quite in the schlock horror category but probably decent in it's time, there's not really much there to get you hitting the replay button any time soon. It had the potential to be something great but ultimately fails to deliver. Not a patch on A Nightmare on Elm Street, for example, which came out many years before, I'm not exactly sure how affectionately this film is remembered. It certainly is ripe for a remake though.
I'm giving this a 5/10.
Last edited:
I think I’ve had Netflix since 2003.Good stuff
Ole. Nice early adapter!
Do you have any idea what cut you watched? There's a few banging about, and I feel it's a drastically different film from one to another. Nevertheless, it's a fundamentally flawed film (as portrayed by the Fincher quote you posted), but I kinda weirdly like it. It feels different (which is what I like the most about the Alien films, the first 4 all have very different and strong identities) which works well. Also, Charles Dance.
Don't listen to him @SteveJ
Really looking forward to Parasite, and didn't know Terrence Malick had something out, will have to see it whenever it's on in Spain.
Also heard Kechiche's latest film was screened and panned. Good, the dickhead.
I saw the 'Theatrical' version, mate.
Don't call me mate, buddy
watched Blade Runner... found it dull as feck
RiP said:
I bought the Quadrilogy (or however it's spelled).
Maybe 3 was too French* in style & content for a franchise that audiences now expect to be action-based rather than cerebral?
*Yep, this is just my lazy shorthand for a different cinematic ethos to purely mainstream film.
*Yep, this is just my lazy shorthand for a different cinematic ethos to purely mainstream film.
I have no idea what version I watched to be fair, I know I just enjoyed the overall ambiance despite the obvious flaws of the film.
I bought the Quadrilogy (or however it's spelled).
Hon hi hon, il faut tuer des aliens sacrebleu
I am reading all pages of this forum
First 600 pages are two posters talking about Wong Kar Wai and Maggie Cheung.
RiP:
I should've just written: 'Jeunet has a particular style'.
I should've just written: 'Jeunet has a particular style'.
He didn't direct the third one. If you messed up you have to start back at the beginning.
Doh. I meant Resurrection.
You're all over the place Stéphane.
Je suis désolé, as they say in space.
JLingz strikes again.
In the Renault Espace
Haha. Well it started normal and suddenly hindi and korean films are basically the shizzle especially if there are lesbian scenes, graphic rapes or extravagant violent scenes.
Also there is a nice classic movie part, but the female appearances seem equally important especially if they show their ' norks'.
Jokes aside, sounds like pretty interesting reading. Slice of caf history/movie history at the same time.
Contact (1997)
I love films that give the viewer a sense of wonder and awe about the universe, so I really liked this. Jodie Foster is excellent, as always.
8/10
I love films that give the viewer a sense of wonder and awe about the universe, so I really liked this. Jodie Foster is excellent, as always.
8/10
Us. Ponderous, overcooked time waster that made me angry. It's the whatever-the-hell-this-genre-is version of Guy Richie's Revolver. I'm sure it's all very deep and chock full of things that mean things, it'll inspire fan theories that'll fill an entire subreddit and you can play tvtropes bingo with it. And I know that is what actually matters now and it's my problem, as the simple-minded, out of touch loser grandpa. But let me just have this luddite scream into the storytelling void moment.
Because this is not story, tunnels is not story, GOT is not story, being attention deficit is not story, flat earth theory is not story, Powerpoint presentation is not story, Lost is not story, Dr Jekyll's ingredients list is not story, 2 hours is not story, being angry with Trump, Brexit and punching a nazi is not story, clever is not story, throwing money at a fashionable filmmaker is not story, going over my head is not story, Westworld is not story, ruining The Twilight Zone worse than a man held responsible for decapitating a young family on the set of The Twilight Zone Movie is not story, plot is not story, exposition is not story, vaguely relatable lists of things mashed together is not story, youtube bait is not story, I got 5 on it remix is not story.
When did we all start hating storytelling so much? and when did I get so old.
The Giant O'Brien is story. It features a story telling giant. I'm going to go and finish reading that now.
Because this is not story, tunnels is not story, GOT is not story, being attention deficit is not story, flat earth theory is not story, Powerpoint presentation is not story, Lost is not story, Dr Jekyll's ingredients list is not story, 2 hours is not story, being angry with Trump, Brexit and punching a nazi is not story, clever is not story, throwing money at a fashionable filmmaker is not story, going over my head is not story, Westworld is not story, ruining The Twilight Zone worse than a man held responsible for decapitating a young family on the set of The Twilight Zone Movie is not story, plot is not story, exposition is not story, vaguely relatable lists of things mashed together is not story, youtube bait is not story, I got 5 on it remix is not story.
When did we all start hating storytelling so much? and when did I get so old.
The Giant O'Brien is story. It features a story telling giant. I'm going to go and finish reading that now.
peter is story
Mistah Storey—he dead
I watched the trailer and thought it reeked of a Stranger Things style 80's nostalgia cash-in. I promptly decided it wouldn't be worth watching. Why did you bother?
Also, you need to get over your obsession with middle aged manchildren.
true
Those pages did convince me to watch in the mood for love, so they have value
We shall not name said two posters, out of respect for their families. And yes that movie does kind of kick butt.
Booksmart (2019)
What if you had crossed breakfast club, animal house and a European coming of age film... well you might be close to this great film from director Olivia Wilde.
A great ensemble cast but 2 amazing lead actresses give this film humour, heart and laugh out loud moments of teen angst.
This film wonderfully captures the bittersweet feelings of teen friendship in a way that has you reeling from one emotional high and low in the space of minutes.
A tremendously impressive film that moved me to tears and laughter.
Go see it!
What if you had crossed breakfast club, animal house and a European coming of age film... well you might be close to this great film from director Olivia Wilde.
A great ensemble cast but 2 amazing lead actresses give this film humour, heart and laugh out loud moments of teen angst.
This film wonderfully captures the bittersweet feelings of teen friendship in a way that has you reeling from one emotional high and low in the space of minutes.
A tremendously impressive film that moved me to tears and laughter.
Go see it!
Last edited:
Rim of the World (Netflix)
A alien invasion movie where 4 kids have to get a key from their mountain camp to JPL labs avoiding aliens and other villains.
Standard plot, lots of cliches, flat jokes and some obvious stereotypism makes for a fairly meh watch. But somehow they managed to keep me from turning it off wanting to see how it ended.
The trailer had all the best parts of the movie and is pretty damn good. Got fooled by it.
3/10.
The Secret Life of Pets 2
I made the mistake of watching this in the half term holidays but my car was being serviced today and I needed to kill some time. However, I took the opportunity to catch a few zzzzs cause man this film was dull!
It lacked the sharpness and wit of the first where Snowball was great as the maniacal bunny. In this instalment, we get the expected new characters but even the story is pretty lame. Maybe it was because I was dozing but I don't remember much of the plot. There were probably just a couple of muted chuckles throughout the whole film. When it was wrapping up, I even heard a kid say to her parents "Is that it?".
Normally the part IIs are usually as good as if not better than the prequels in the animation world but this has to be the least inspiring animated sequel I've seen in a very long time. The aggression and slickness that made Snowball such a great character is gone though Kevin Hart's voice still suits him perfectly, probably the best thing about this film. His character is not really even integral to the story either, which was disappointing.
I just find that the characters are really not that interesting and the film doesn't do enough for the viewer to form any attachment or connection to them. A very underwhelming affair. I'll be amazed it they manage to rustle up a part III from this pile of mediocrity.
I'm giving this a 3/10.
I made the mistake of watching this in the half term holidays but my car was being serviced today and I needed to kill some time. However, I took the opportunity to catch a few zzzzs cause man this film was dull!
It lacked the sharpness and wit of the first where Snowball was great as the maniacal bunny. In this instalment, we get the expected new characters but even the story is pretty lame. Maybe it was because I was dozing but I don't remember much of the plot. There were probably just a couple of muted chuckles throughout the whole film. When it was wrapping up, I even heard a kid say to her parents "Is that it?".
Normally the part IIs are usually as good as if not better than the prequels in the animation world but this has to be the least inspiring animated sequel I've seen in a very long time. The aggression and slickness that made Snowball such a great character is gone though Kevin Hart's voice still suits him perfectly, probably the best thing about this film. His character is not really even integral to the story either, which was disappointing.
I just find that the characters are really not that interesting and the film doesn't do enough for the viewer to form any attachment or connection to them. A very underwhelming affair. I'll be amazed it they manage to rustle up a part III from this pile of mediocrity.
I'm giving this a 3/10.
The cinema is about other things than storytelling. What you remember from a good film -- and let's only talk about good films, not the contemporary tosh dumbo forces upon himself for some reason, sure we get funny movie reviews but life's too short to watch lousy films, he's welcome to my pad in Amsterdam any time where I've got a hard drive full of primo old, non-narrative shit -- What you remember from a good film - is not the story, but a particular and hopefully unique experience that is about atmosphere, ambience, performance, style, an emotional attitude, gestures, singular events, a particular audio-visual experience that does not rely on the story. - Peter Storey Greenaway