The RedCafe FM Experiment

Out of all the Caftard’s, Searl has by far the most colourful history of injuries. Whilst most have only had suffered 5 to 10 injuries throughout their careers so far, Searl has picked up 22 in that time, many of them quite serious. This broken leg, twisted knees and ankles, broken jaws, damaged achilles tendons, sprained ankles, pulled hamstrings, as well as gashed arms and legs, concussions, facial injuries, bruised shins and thighs and also two bouts of man flu. Bit of a warrior, Searl.
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:lol: so so real !
 
awesome update mate, propz!!

Milan, woohoooo :drool:

lovinggg the detailed updates
 
looking good for the Walrus, highest valued and most assists, which doesnt actually surprise me that much given the way i designed him at the start.

on a less fortunate note though UBER, you appear to have uploaded Sam Stocks character sheet again instead of my one :(
 
Walrus said:
looking good for the Walrus, highest valued and most assists, which doesnt actually surprise me that much given the way i designed him at the start.

on a less fortunate note though UBER, you appear to have uploaded Sam Stocks character sheet again instead of my one :(
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Sorry about that, I'll fix it once I get home later today
 
Yeah, 'mon the Old Lady :cool:

Finished the next season earlier, some pretty interesting developments! I'll probably do a couple of updates in a bit, but won't have much time for more during the long weekend here. So hopefully Wednesday/Thursday I'll have the next updates.
 
Don't rush yourself mate, the updates are fantastic!
 
UBERScholes said:
Yeah, 'mon the Old Lady :cool:

Finished the next season earlier, some pretty interesting developments! I'll probably do a couple of updates in a bit, but won't have much time for more during the long weekend here. So hopefully Wednesday/Thursday I'll have the next updates.
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Let's here it, I have signed for United :D
 
niMic said:
I had that problem in my previous big "Experiment" as well. Though most of us were a big part of it, particularly lately. Almost all of us played until around 35-36 years old, too. At the highest level.
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i currently have a 40 year old Frank Lampard in my reserves, got him on a free from chelski and figured that he would make a good coach and tutor for my younger players.
 

FM Experiment Update 2015/2016

1. Cinadine Cidane (Fiorentina)

Last season Fiorentina battled to a well earned forth placed finish in Serie A, giving them the European stage to show off their impressive array of attacking talent. Sadly, their 2015/2016 campaign would begin with bitter disappointment. Their qualification round in the Champions League drew them against their Premiership counterparts Aston Villa, who were also surprise contenders in the Champions League after an unexpected forth place domestic finish. The Viola lost 3-2 on aggregate. To the UEFA Cup then – this campaign ended in defeat to Standard Liege in the 2nd Knockout Round. Their Italian Cup run ended at the hands of AC Milan in the Quarter finals, and an 8th placed finish in Serie A made their fantastic 2014/2015 seem a distant memory.

Despite all this, Cidane had a belter of a season in which he outperformed all of his teammates quite drastically. Perhaps helped by his direct rival Alen Dzagoev suffering constant injuries (Allowing Cidane some matches in his favoured AMC role), Cidane ended the season with 18 goals, 5 assists, 9 Man of the Match performances and a new contract offer on the table just a year after signing a deal worth £100,000 a week. He was also voted the Serie A Young Player of the Year, preventing Ubor Skolskov taking the title a third year in a row (Git). Cidane also finished in 3rd for Serie A Goal of the Season for a ridiculous 40 yarder he curled past Lazio goalkeeper Inaki Goitia.

But Cidane remains a well rounded, hard working player who regularly puts in a 10km a match and makes 4.37 tackles a game. As you would expect, his shooting accuracy has increased this season from 37% to 44%. Serie A defenders have responded to this goalscoring form by almost doubling the number of fouls inflicted to 68 for the season.

Unfortunately, Cidane faced disappointment with the Irish as they finished third place in their European Championship qualifiers Group, unable to surpass Italy and Switzerland.

http://i70.photobucket.com/albums/i100/UBERScholes/CCidane4.png

2. Cw1984 (Manchester United)

Quique Flores has had a decent impact at Manchester United and at least tucked them back into European positions. They finished 6th this season, 4 points ahead of Liverpool, and so will have a chance to regain some success in the UEFA Cup next season.

United’s problems are defensive. They conceded 52 goals this season, by far the worst defensive record of the top eight teams in the Premiership. Cw1984 being part of this leaky back four has to take some responsibility. However most games he lines up alongside a decent player in Jonny Evans, but two pretty uninspiring youth products called John Doyle and Mick Morris, neither of whom have the quality to be playing for United, producing over 200 mistakes between them, 10 directly responsible for opposition goals, between them last season. United also have former Coventry man Kieran Westwood in goal. To be honest though, cw1984 made 178 defensive errors himself this season, so you can’t just blame the players around him! Needs to sort himself out!

But in attack United are pretty effective, and again Cw1984’s left flank partnership with Ronaldo has again been crucial. This season cw helped himself to 7 goals and 4 assists, Ronaldo to 12 goals and 13 assists. Along with Wayne Rooney these two are by far the most valuable players in the United team.

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3. Diver (Arsenal)

With Arsenal’s abundance of central midfielders I expected Diver would be playing most of his games at the center of defence this season. But again, he just alternated between the positions, actually playing 30 of his 52 games in midfield. That all these games could’ve gone to gone to Miguel Veloso, Joao Moutinho, Yaya Toure, Momo Sissoko or Jack Wilshere shows how much faith there is in Diver at the Emirates.

But Arsenal responded to Man City’s spirited challenge in 2014/2015 by easing into another 1st placed finished, this time 10 points clear of City. But again, this was the extent of their success this season as they failed in the domestic cups and also the Champions League, this time defeated by defending champions Real Madrid.

Diver improved significantly on his second season at Arsenal, finishing on a 7.21 average rating, with 4 goals and 10 assists. His discipline is getting worse though, and he ended up with 10 yellows for the season and 87 fouls to his name. May be growing fonder of those crunching challenges, his tackling increased to 6.66 per game, but he’s still an outstanding ball winner and won 336 of 359 attempted tackles. His cards and fouls probably more easily explained by him being an Arsenal player and therefore a generally revolting individual who deserves harsh treatment from refs.

As reward for three seasons of fantastic service to Arsenal he’s recently been handed a new £105,000 a week contract. He’s very happy at the club and has also struck up a good relationship with fellow caftard Walrus.

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4. Hassan Emirati (Juventus)

Sickeningly, Emirati was awarded an improved contract the beginning of this season, bumping his £140,000 a week deal to £145,000 a week. But even so, he’s no longer the best paid player at Juventus. At 38 years old, Gianluigi Buffon was handed a well deserved £170,000 a week deal. In fact, many players at Juve were rewarded with new contracts this season as encouragement to better Carlo Ancelotti’s impressive AC Milan.

This season saw Juventus bettering their brilliant attacking football of 2014/2015 but not AC Milan. Emirati’s performances were a bit more consistent than last seasons in which he ended up with a 7.02 average rating. 7.08 for this season, but his tally of goals and assists decreased to 4 and 5 respectively, contrast to 6 and 13 the previous season. But he made 12 less appearances this season, partly due to injuries keeping him out for a month of the season. But Emirati has increased his work rate, improving on an already impressive average of 10km run a match to 10.3km per match and also increasing his average tackles per match to 3.09.

Busy times for Hassan with UAE. In the Asian Nations Cup they finished in 3rd place, having lost in the semi final to eventual winners Australia. They beat Saudi Arabia 3-0 in the 3rd Place Playoff, Emirati scoring the second of their goals. In all this season Emirati has played 10 times for UAE and scored five times. Their World Cup Qualifying campaign is well underway and they sit on top of their group with 7 points from three games. Their opponents are Japan, Iraq and the mighty Turkmenistan.

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5. Alex Hemming (AC Milan)

Exciting times for Alex Hemming. West Brom almost became the new Southampton with a big challenge on the top 4, but had to settle for a top 5 finish in the end. Hemming put in 18 monstrous performances (Averaging 8.42 tackles a game, a machine!) towards their Premership charge, this convincing Serie A champions AC Milan to splash out £45,000,000 to take the big Norwegian to the San Siro in the January window. Hemming took an instant liking to Carlo Ancelotti and agreed to a £145,000 a week, 5 year contract.

AC Milan sensationally went this Serie A season unbeaten, conceding only 10 goals. This allowed them to comfortably better a Juventus team who also impressed with a 99 goal haul for the season. Hemming personally was involved in 20 Serie A games for Milan and so can take a lot of credit for this. His average rating of 7.27 puts him well above Milan’s other defenders for consistency. He’s mainly a right back in this team, Thiago Silva and Serbian Aleksandar Tatalovic the central defence and Mamadou Sakho the left back, Argie keeper Juan Pablo Carrizo in goal.

For Milan so far, in his first 29 games, Hemming has scored a goal and grabbed three assists, with a Man of the Match performance to boot. He’s put in on average 5.90 tackles a game, and 71% of his passes have been accurate. From 190 headers he’s challenged for, he’s won 171.

He’s also gotten a taste of Champions League action, and played a crucial role in Milan’s Quarter Final victory of rivals Juventus by scoring his penalty in the decisive shootout. But Milan would go on to be knocked out by Leverkusen in the Semi Finals so he has also tasted his first Champions League disappointment.

But all indications are that Milan have become even more formidable with the signing of Hemming, who’s settling down quickly, and also struck up a friendship with his new AC Milan teammate and fellow Noggie Marius Johnsen. He has also been voted Serie A Defender of the Year.

Unfortunately, Johnsen and Hemming both saw Norway defeated in the Euro championship Playoff by Portugal. They now look towards their World Cup qualification campaign which will pit them against Denmark and Serbia, as well as Latvia, Malta and Macedonia.

http://i70.photobucket.com/albums/i100/UBERScholes/AHemming4.png

6. Jacob (Napoli)

Napoli couldn’t build on their impressive 2014/2015 season that saw them secure 3rd place in a highly competitive Serie A season, and ended up dropping to an 8th place finish for 2015/2016 – outside the European places. A shame because Napoli, it turned out, were very good representatives of Italian football in their Champions League campaign. They reached the Quarter Finals before being beaten by Barcelona, but on the way had knocked out a strong Bayern Munich side and also beaten European Champions (Who would go on to successfully defend this title) R. Madrid in the Group Stages.

Jacob’s average rating dropped from 7.20 last season to 7.06 for this season, but he was still a very productive player for Napoli and served up 9 goals and 8 assists in his 34 starts, 5 Man of the Match performances. Only Takayuki Morimoto really outshone Jacob this season. With his 12 goals and nine assists his output wasn’t that much greater, but his average rating was 7.20 and he was voted Napoli’s player of the season and Serie A Foreign Player of the Season as well so he obviously made a very big impression this season.

But aside from passing (Accuracy slightly decreased from 81% success rate to 78%) Jacob’s game has only continued to improve. He’s tackling more often (190 for the season, 164 succeeded), his shooting is more composed (46% on target, or 35 from 75), and he’s running 9.7km a match on average. All this despite finally getting into that AMC role formerly occupied by Carlos Eduardo. Perhaps Jacob would benefit from letting Moussa Sissoko and Nikola Radulovic do the dirty work in midfield and concentrate on his attacking game.

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7. Dennis Law (R. Madrid)

Dennis put his Man City nightmare behind him and signed for the vaguely respectable Real Madrid in January 2016, joining the European Champions for £40,000,000. Los Blancos obviously still remembered Law’s brilliant form for Aston Villa and were willing to ignore the fact he’d officially become a Man City reject. During his year at the Bitters Law only made 17 appearances, only 7 starts, and scored only 4 times. In fairness, Vagner Love responded to the challenge of Law with a shedload of goals and it’s understandable the Scots career at Eastlands wouldn’t last. When Madrid came in offering City a chance to make an easy £10m profit the outcome was obvious.

At R. Madrid Law has so far looked the business, starting 25 games and scoring 15 times, but creating 14 goals on top of that. His average rating of 7.56 is fantastic, and his European pedigree only grows. He scored 5 Champions League goals from 7 appearances. Not only did this earn him his first success on Europe’s biggest stage, but a place in R. Madrid folklore. The Semi Finals of the Champions League pit Madrid against bitter rivals Barcelona, and after a 1-0 loss at the Nou Camp, it was Law who came up with two goals at the Bernebeu to break Catalan hearts and send the Franco cnuts into the final against Leverkusen, where they’d win on penalties for a successful defence of their title. Law’s 10 goals in the Primera helped Madrid to another 1st placed finish, so he’s also a Spanish League winner.

Thanks in part to Law’s clinical finishing and outstanding record of 20 goals in 23 international games, Scotland qualified for the European Championships at the top of their group. They face a difficult group at the tournament though – France, Switzerland and Holland. Interestingly, their World Cup qualifying group will include England so Law’ll have a chance to pit himself against the majority of fellow Caftards, including his R. Madrid teammate Paz.

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8. Cristiano Lazytov (Chelsea)

Familiar story with Lazytov, still very much a fringe player at Stamford Bridge. With Salomon Kalou leaving for Sunderland and Amauri constantly injured and in his mid 30’s there seemed to be some room for optimism at the end of last season and opportunity for Lazytov to stake his claim. But Amauri continues on at 36 years old, and scored 13 goals in 28 starts, not willing to give up his place in the team. But also, Roman threw around some change and signed Pavel Pogrebnyak from Porto for £3.7m, the 32 year old Russian international proving to be a fantastic signing by scoring 15 goals in 22 games.

So Lazytov is up against it, and he needs to make a better impression with the few opportunities he does get. For 10 appearances this season, 8 starts, Lazytov bagged one goal and one assist, ending up with a 6.66 average rating. If there was one positive indication from last season it was his 59% shooting accuracy, but this has now dropped to 22%, only 4 shots on target from 18 attempts.

Chelsea have improved on their dire showing from last season and are back in the top 4, Mourinho making positive progress. There is some hope for Lazytov in this, he was awarded a new 3 year contract by Chelsea at £33,500 a week – a slight pay cut from £37,000 a week, but maybe he has friends in high places. He also has friends in amongst the Chelsea though, and he now lists caftard Karan Mittal as one of his favored personnel.

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9. Legold Legster (Inter)

After four and a half impressive seasons at perennial midtable Bundesliga finishers Stuttgart Legster finally secured a move to one of Europe’s elite clubs, joining Chris Searl, Flawless Thaw and Sam Stock at Internazionale. The Nerazzurri paid £35.5m for the Serbian International left back and gave him a £125,000 a week, 4 year contract.

But this hasn’t proven to be the happiest of marriages, and after only six months in Italy he’s already making noise about leaving. Prior to his January move he was enjoying perhaps his best season at Stuttgart, producing a 7.70 average rating for 17 games, with 5 man of the match performances. In contrast, 17 games into his Inter career he’s on a 6.82 average rating. His passing, regularly in the 85-90% range at Stuttgart, has plunged to 68% accuracy. His tackling has become much less frequent (No less successful though – winning 65 out of 76 attempted) and he’s no longer running over 10km a game.

Difficult situation for Inter manager Alberto Zaccheroni, Legster would be a very expensive failure. Though he wants to be transfer listed there’s no willingness from the club to sell him at the moment. Inter are improving, and ended up comfortably winning 3rd place in Serie A and also took the UEFA Cup, but Legster fills an uncertain position as Inter don’t really have a left back of similar quality anymore, just the aging Maxwell and Burdisso. So it seems unlikely Legster will get his move away from Italy unless someone is willing to pay something close to the £35.5m.

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10. Karan Mittal (Chelsea)

Mittal continues to grow as a player and enjoyed his best season so far at Chelsea in 2015/2016. He scored 17 goals (Making him top scorer) and created another 13, with 10 MoM performances from his 40 starts. His 7.42 average rating for the season was by far the best in the Chelsea squad, and although Goran Pandev was voted Chelsea’s player of the season, Mittal was voted Premiership Footballer of the Year (Beating Walrus to 1st place). He was also given a new five year contract worth £82,000 a week (Still about £40-50,000 a week from the clubs top earners though!).

A great return for a central midfielder, Mittal plays in a trio with Michael Essien and Mathieu Flamini. Essien scored 11 goals himself and created another 8 and so his partnership with Mittal is definitely at the heart of Chelsea’s surge back into the top 4. But as we’ve seen in previous seasons Mittal doesn’t shy away from his other midfield responsibilities and is more than willing to close opponents down (Running on average 10.2km a game) and stick in some tackles (Winning 134 from 164 attempts).

He has also become captain of India recently, unsurprisingly considering his recent form which has seen him score 4 times in 8 matches, helping india to the top of their World Cup qualifying group (Up against China, Indonesia and South Korea). These emerging leadership qualities are being put to use by Mourinho, who has Mittal tutoring a young reserve player called Junior Powell.

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11. Rasmus Nilsson (Tottenham)

Under Paul Ince at Spurs Nilsson has finally has a long run of games on the left flank and is starting to produce consistent performances. His average rating for the season was 7.13, a good improvement on his previous best of 6.88. From 36 games, all starts, he scored 5 times and got 7 assists, with 4 Man of the Match performances.

Nilsson seems a far more enthusiastic player and is now more eager to tuck into the opposition and control his flank. He’s now putting in 3.91 tackles and 10.2km a game, both significant increases on his previous best. As a result he’s found himself giving away more fouls, 60 this season, but he’s also winning more fouls as teams try and contain him, 57 decisions went his way this season.

Perhaps the biggest reason for this good form is Luka Modric’s move to Juventus at the beginning of the season, making Nilsson first choice for the left side of midfield. Now, only Ivan Rakitic could challenge for the spot, but his form in central midfield where he produced 13 goals this season means Ince would probably be unlikely to break up the chemistry of his midfield. Spurs powered into 3rd placed this season, having finished 11th the last, and so Nilsson will be playing in the Champions League next season.

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12. niMic (Sevilla)

Sevilla are nose diving down the table and only narrowly avoided relegation this season! Surprising. Only a couple of seasons ago they were very stable in the European places, and although 2014/2015 saw them drop to 7th, no one could’ve expected them to end up in 17th this season. Now they’re hoping new manager Manuel Preciado can steady the ship, Manolo Jimenez unsurprisingly sacked. This is a weird situation since Sevilla haven’t even lost one of their key players in recent seasons.

The Norwegian remains at Sevilla, and although he’s considering his options he’s willing stay at the club. But valued at £16.5m, and with a minimum release clause of £17.25m, niMic would be by far their most lucrative player if they want to finance some major surgery.

In this shocking for Sevilla niMic was the second best rated player in the team behind Lucas Biglia, ending up with a 6.92 average rating. He made 28 starts with 7 appearances as sub, scoring twice and setting up seven. For the most part his overall stats have declined after his excellent 2014/2015, but his passing accuracy remains at 66%.

But potential buyers will probably have been watching niMic’s Norway performances. In his last 7 games he’s scored 3 times and created two, with a fantastic average rating of 7.56. This wasn’t good enough to secure Norway a place in the European Championships, although they got the Playoff against Portugal which they lost on penalties after a 3-3 aggregate draw. But their World Cup qualifying group looks kind of promising. You might expect Serbia to come out on top, but maybe the Noggies could sneak in at the expense of Denmark.

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13. Alwyn Payne (Juventus)

Saw a surge in Alwyn’s confidence in front of goal last season, in which he scored 13 times from midfield, taking more efforts on goal than anyone at Juventus (180). This season, Alwyn again took 180 shots on goals, but scored 20 times. On top of these goals he created 7 more, and was voted Man of the Match 5 times. Only Federico Laurito scored more in this free scoring Juventus side, chipping in with 25 (2 penalties). 6 of Alwyn's goals came in the Champions League, putting him at 5th in the scoring charts.

Unfortunately he couldn’t prevent Juventus losing to AC Milan in the Quarter Finals.
Although Alwyn’s shooting accuracy has slightly decreased to 29% from 30%, he’s obviously developing his instincts and finding the opportunities, whilst still going for speculative efforts. His passing has also taken a 1% drop to 78%. But he’s a still a reliable workhorse running 10km a game, and his tackling has become sharper and more frequent, increasing to 5.28 on average per game, 229 out of 253 tackles won.

As the only Caftard to represent England at the World Cup you’d think he’d get to play in the upcoming European Championships. England have the group of death with Denmark, Spain and Italy. They’ll be hoping Alwyn’s experience in Serie A will give them an edge over Italy, and also hope he continues his scoring form against the Spaniards (He scored 4 goals against Villarreal and Valencia in the Champions League this season).

http://i70.photobucket.com/albums/i100/UBERScholes/AlwynPayne4.png

14. Paz (R. Madrid)

Not surprisingly Paz’s career at AC Milan didn’t last too long, the Rossoneri perhaps not learning from their George Worst experience. But like George Worst, Paz remains amongst the European elite and now plays for R. Madrid, along with Dennis Law. Having said maybe Milan didn’t learn anything from signing Worst, they actually made a £12.5m profit after only half a season on Paz. They’d signed him for £23m, gave him four forgettable appearances, 3 from the bench, before flogging him off for £35.5m.

Like Dennis Law, signed at the same time and from a similar situation at Man City, Paz is rewarding R. madrid’s faith in him and has produced the best run of games in his career so far. From 23 starts Paz has an average rating of 7.29, better than the 7.12 from his previous best season at Newcastle, and has also scored 5 goals, gotten 4 assists and produced two man of the match performances.

Cup tied, Paz couldn’t play a part in R. Madrid’s European campaign otherwise he might’ve received his first Champions League medal. But he helped Madrid to a successful defence of the Primera Division title and so won his first League medal.

The Madrid fans will be impressed by Paz’s work rate as he’s put in 10.2km per game down his left flank, helping out defensively suspect Marcelo by winning 74 of his 82 tackles. At 73% accuracy, Paz’s passing looks pretty respectable but at Madrid this makes him one of the sloppier players in possession so he’ll want to improve that. But early days at the Bernebeu and so far he looks like money well spent.

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15. Psmith (FC Bayern)

Psmith improved on his two previous impeccable seasons at FC Bayern in 2015/2016. Although he could only equal his best Bayern tally of goals for a season (24), he managed this in 17 fewer games, playing only 34 times (Partly due to a litter of injuries like bruised and gashed heads, gashed legs and dead legs – seems everyone wants to take a chunk out of him). He also created 7 goals.

But now his strike partner Roque Santa Cruz, with whom Psmith formed a fantastic partnership, appears to be in steep decline and only produced 8 goals this season. Now he’s partnered mainly with Swedish international Vasilis Wilhelmsson, who arrived from Wolfsburg in a £30.5m deal and promptly scored 17 goals in his debut season. Beginnings of another great partnership for Bayern, Wilhelmsson has quickly become best pals with Psmith and they both have each other as favored personnel.

But Bayern’s season wasn’t too impressive as they lost the Bundesliga to Leverkusen, and were knocked out the Champions League early by Jacob’s Napoli side. The Bundesliga wasn’t necessarily the fault of Bayern’s strong attack, as they nabbed 71 goals this season in the league – 15 more the champions Leverkusen. But the central defensive partnership of Breno and Lucio has been a bit suspect, and with Lucio pushing 39 years old they must surely be in the market for a replacement.

For India Psmith has been in spectacular form, scoring 8 goals in his last 7 appearances, taking him up to 20 goals in 18 caps. Along with Karan Mittal he might lead India into the World Cup as they’re top of their qualifying group with China, Indonesia and South Korea.

http://i70.photobucket.com/albums/i100/UBERScholes/Psmith4.png

16. Chris Searl (Inter)

Searl recovered well from the broken leg which put him out most of last season and has had an impressive season for Inter under new manager Alberto Zaccheroni. He appeared 36 times, scoring 6 goals and setting up 11, helping propel his team back in the Champions League places in Serie A.

Zaccheroni has focused Searl’s training towards attack, and he’s now recognized as an AMRC rather than an MRC. However in Inter’s standard 4-4-2 he still plays mostly in the center of the pitch, sometimes on the right flank. With Esteban Cambiasso now 35 and Flawless Thaw seemingly not rated so highly by Zaccheroni, Searl has been playing alongside Fernando Gago for the most part and the pair have become a great platform for Inter’s attacking play, which saw them challenge Juventus as Serie A’s most entertaining attacking side, scoring 88 goals for the campaign.

Searl hasn’t been affected mentally by his broken leg and is still willing to put himself in harms way. He’s been running on average 10.3km a match and has won 114 of 132 tackles, putting in 54 fouls along the way. His average rating of 7.27 for the season is the best of his career, beating his 7.12 rating for 2013/2014.

For Canada Searl has an important place in this developing team and now has 36 caps, 6 goals. He helped them to a Gold Cup Quarter Final, which they lost to Costa Rica, and will begin their World Cup qualifiers against the mighty Netherlands Antilles.

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17. Shorty Phelan (Juventus)

southampton > juve
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These were Shorty Phelan’s words just prior to securing his £32,000,000 transfer to Juventus from Southampton in January 2016, showing that loyalty really is dead in football. Southampton would drop from their 3rd place in the Premiership finish to 14th while Shorty lapped up his new £75,000 a week in Turin, the hopes of countless South Coast inbreds destroyed forever.

Decent business for the Old Lady it seems, as Shorty has settled in quickly amongst his new teammates Alwyn Payne, Hassan Emirati and Ubor Skolskov. He’s scored 12 goals in 15 appearances so far, producing a 7.57 average rating, the best of his career so far. He’s put an impressive 57% of his shots on target (32/56) in a display of his clinical goalscoring instincts, but he hasn’t been shy of passing the ball, 184 out of 260 finding their target, bagging him 4 assists. It should be an interesting contest between Shorty, Robinho, Alex Teixeira and Federico Laurito as all four have proven themselves very reliable goalscorers for Juve, who are already by far the deadliest team in front of goal in the Serie A, especially considering even their central midfield of Alwyn Payne and Ubor Skolskov scored 31 goals between them this season.

In truth, Shorty had half a season at Southampton prior to his move in which he was a big disappointment, so maybe it came as no surprise to see him move considering Southampton had little hope of living up to their 3rd placed finish from 2014/2015. For his final 25 matches for Southampton, Shorty produced only 3 goals. Perhaps with his reputation at its peak after that amazing season at St. Mary’s he’d become distracted with thoughts of playing for a team like Juve and their collection of superstar Caftards.

It seems to have put him on Stuart Pearce’s radar, and Shorty has finally made his debut for England and now has 4 caps (1 goal, against Iceland).

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18. Ubor Skolskov (Juventus)

Ubor produced his best season so far for Juve, ending up as their Player of the Season, runner up to Niko Kranjcar as Serie A Player of the Season and with a place in the Serie A Team of the Year. He also won World Footballer of the Year. He made 44 starts for Juve and scored 11 goals, creating another 14, and his 7.45 average rating was the best of his career so far.

Skolskov has followed his midfield partner Alwyn Payne’s lead and is now firing in plenty of shots on goal, 154 for this season, with 53 on target, making him the second most eager to shoot behind Payne and his 180 efforts. These stats leave the striker lagging behind, 31 goals from Juve’s midfield this season isn’t too bad but there must’ve been a few wasted chances out of those 334.

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19. Sam Stock (Inter)

Sam had a brilliant season for Inter in which he scored 23 times in 43 appearances, only Niko Kranjcar scoring more goals for the Nerzzuri (24 – 7 being penalties). Having played as a right winger for his first season at Inter he is now forming a lethal striking duo with Klaas-Jan Huntelaar, who grabbed 22 goals for himself this season as Inter charged into 3rd place in Serie A and won the UEFA Cup.

Sam’s role in that UEFA Cup victory was mainly creative – his 8 assists making him joint 2nd for assists with Newcastle duo Eden Hazard and Diego Buonanotte. In fact, Stock created 20 goals overall this season, and so was directly involved in 43 goals in total. Creating or scoring a goal a game in other words. Inter are looking to reward him with an improved contract, and considering he’s already on £135,000 a week maybe Emirati will finally be knocked off his perch as the top earner from the Caftards.

Sam received 122 fouls this season, an indication of how difficult he is to contain. But he’s a tough little fecker and hasn’t suffered any serious injuries as a result, and only dished out 37 fouls of his own.

For England he now boasts 21 goals from 24 caps, and will hopefully be playing in the European Championships against Italy and Spain.

http://i70.photobucket.com/albums/i100/UBERScholes/SStock4.png


20. Flawless Thaw (Inter)

New Inter boss Alberto Zaccheroni seems to prefer Fernando Gago to Flawless Thaw, who made only 22 starts this season. Part of this could be down to a Torn Calf Muscle that kept Thaw out for 3 months, but you’d have expected him to make more appaearances.

12 of his starts have been in defensive midfield and 10 on the right flank, none as an MC in Zaccheroni’s preferred 4-4-2. Strange that he doesn’t seem to have faith in Thaw’s attacking abilities considering he scored 11 times last season.

But when he has played Thaw hasn’t let anyone down, he’s still managed 2 goals and stuck to his hard grafting and tackling style, running over 10km a game and making 6.11 tackles (Winning 121/138).

Only Inter teammate Sam Stock scored more goals for England in their qualifying campaign for the Euro’s. Thaw got 7 goals, including goals in emphatic victories over Poland, Belgium and … Malta. His last 3 performances, against Portugal, Poland and Malta, have given him a 8.50 average rating and 5 goals, taking his overall record to 16 caps and 12 goals.

http://i70.photobucket.com/albums/i100/UBERScholes/FThaw4.png

21. Walrus (Arsenal)

In another Premiership winning season for Arsenal Walrus emerged as the team’s star performer. Adebayor, who’d scored 38 goals the previous campaign, seems to have fallen out of favour with manager Marco Van Basten and played a peripheral role in the squad this season. The Arsenal boss leaned heavily on a new strike partnership of Walrus and Eduardo to replace those and the pair came up with 44 between them. They also helped the likes of George Worst, Van Persie and Fabregas get into double figures for the season by creating 17 more goals.

Walrus was responsible for 11 of these assists, and 25 of the goals (Making him top scorer). Only Diver and George Worst could rival his 7.35 average rating for the season (Both ending on 7.21), and only Worst came near his tally of Man of the Match performances (Worst – 7, Walrus – 8). His shooting becomes more and more accurate, 55% of his shots were on target (75 out of 134), although he still finds himself competing hopelessly in the air. Out of 545 attempted headers he won only 79, maybe a partner with more presence could benefit Walrus and creates opportunities from all those high balls.

Perhaps the most disappointing thing about Walrus’ season was his lack of goals outside the group stages in the Champions League. Arsenal again failed in Europe and were knocked out by Champions R. Madrid in the quarter finals. Adebayor came off the bench to score in 3 of Arsenal’s latter stage CL matches, suggesting he still has that nous in Europe which Walrus is still developing. But 3 goals and 3 assists from 8 Champions League games isn’t too bad.

Maybe Walrus will be annoyed as well to see himself finishing runner up in the awards this season. Bacary Sagna took Arsenal’s Player of the Season, Karan Mittal pipped him to Premiership Footballer of the Season, and he finished second in the Premiership Top Scorers, Middlesbrough’s Kevin doyle taking top spot with his 21 goals (Walrus scored 18).

But he has been rewarded with a new £110,000 a week deal if he needed some cheering up. He’s also making a good impression with England. He now has 9 goals in 20 caps, but seems to be more of a playmaker under Stuart Pearce, and has created 4 goals in his last 3 games.

http://i70.photobucket.com/albums/i100/UBERScholes/Walrus4.png

22. Ed Weatherall (Arsenal)

Having relied on iffy keepers Federico Muslera and Andrea Consigli, Arsenal boss Marco Van Basten plundered his former team Ajax for Ed Weatherall, who’d been impressive in his 8 appearances for the club. Plundered maybe not the best word actually considering Ajax came out with £45m profit after only a year! Arsenal paid £49,500,000 for Weatherall, Ajax having bought him from QPR for only £4.3m. Suppose Van Basten wanted to toss his beloved Ajax a bone.

This £49,500,000m transfer fee is the new World Record (Considering Ronaldo and Kaka didn’t happen), beating Sergio Aguero to Barcelona for £46,500,000 back in 2011

Weatherall got a £55,000 a week, 3 year deal and unsurprisingly became #1 at the Emirates (Although his actual squad number is 18). He made 55 starts in his first season at Arsenal and managed 31 clean sheets, conceding 33 goals. He came out with a 7.05 average rating, and only made 5 errors the entire campaign, none of them catastrophic. This is all quite impressive considering how many games Senderos and Djourou got for Arsenal this season (85 between them), although Diver tucks into central defence quite often.

Also staking his claim as England’s # 1. He’s quickly developed a good relationship with Stuart Pearce and is now on 4 caps (2 Clean Sheets, 3 goals conceded – 1 against Portugal (Nani) and two against Belgium). His rivals for the England spot are regular #1 Scott Carson and also Joe Hart, but neither are coming off good seasons for their respective clubs (Carson at West Brom and Hart at Southampton).

http://i70.photobucket.com/albums/i100/UBERScholes/EWeatherall4.png

23. George Worst (Arsenal)

George has become a monster of a player for Arsenal, not only a source of goals and creativity (Scoring 11 and creating 12 this season), but as a source of solid graft as well. Worst has been running on average 10.8km a match! Running 445.1km for the season. He likes to stick his foot in as well, making 3.40 tackles a game, winning 140 out of 159. 7 times he was voted Man of the Match this season. May want to work on his passing though since 68% accuracy isn’t too impressive within this Arsenal squad.

George has a bit of a fetish for managers and currently has nine of them in his favored personnel, including Mark Hughes, Jurgen Klinsmann, Tony Mowbray, Ricky Sbragia and Roy Hodgson. Most of these he hasn’t even played under. Looks like a career in management could be in store for George, or maybe there’s just something a bit more sinister going on and the game given him a certain kind of personality.

For Belgium George hasn’t been able to replicate his fantastic form for Arsenal, and has only scored 3 times in 35 apps. They couldn’t qualify for the Euro Championships, with Poland taking 2nd place in the group behind England.

http://i70.photobucket.com/albums/i100/UBERScholes/GWorst4.png
 
Competitions (2015/2016)

-----

English Premier Division: Arsenal
FA Cup: Barnsley
League Cup: Man City

English Footballer of the Year:

1. Karan Mittal (Chelsea)
2. Walrus (Arsenal)
3. Theo Walcott (Arsenal)

Players’ Player of the Year:

1. Marek hamsik (Man City)
2. Cristiano Ronaldo (Man Utd)
3. George Worst (Arsenal)
-----
French Ligue 1: Olympique Lyonnais
French Cup: Paris Saint-Germain
-----

German Bundesliga: Leverkusen
German Cup: FC Bayern Munich
------
Dutch Eredivisie: Ajax
Dutch Cup: Ajax
------
Serie A: AC Milan
Italian Cup: Inter

Serie A Defender of the Year:

1. Alex Hemming (AC Milan)
2. Antunes (Roma)
3. Thiago Silva (AC Milan)

Serie A Foreign Player of the Year:

1. Takayuki Morimoto (Napoli)
2. Alwyn Payne (Juventus)
3. 3. Alex Teixeira (Juventus)

Serie A Player of the Year:

1. Niko Kranjcar (Inter)
2. Ubor Skolskov (Juventus)
3. Sam Stock (Inter)

Serie A Young Player of the Year:

1. Cinadine Cidane (Fiorentina)
2. Jose Araujo (Palermo)
3. Frank Eshun (Genoa)

-----
Spanish La Liga: R. Madrid
Spanish Cup: Barcelona
-----
UEFA Champions League: Real Madrid
UEFA Cup: Inter

Awards

World Footballer of the year:

1 – Ubor Skolskov (Juventus)
2 – Fernando Torres (Liverpool)
3 – Psmith (FC Bayern Munich)

World Player of the year:

1 – Wesley Sneijder (R. Madrid)
2 – Fernando Torres (Liverpool)
3 – Psmith (FC Bayern Munich)

World Team of the year:

GK – Iker Casillas (R. Madrid)
RB – Sergio Ramos (R. Madrid)
LB – Legold Legster (Inter)
CB – Diver (Arsenal)
CB – Giorgio Chiellini (Juventus)
RM – Wesley Sneijder (R. Madrid)
LM – George Worst (Arsenal)
CM – Karan Mittal (Chelsea)
CM – Ubor Skolskov (Juventus)
ST – Psmith (FC Bayern Munich)
ST – Fernando Torres (Liverpool)

Subs – Petr Cech (Chelsea), Vagner Love (Man City), Chinedu Obasi (Juventus), Cesc Fabregas (Arsenal), Walrus (Arsenal), Lassana Diarra (R.Madrid), Keirrison (R. Madrid).

Best Stats – Players

Highest average rating: Psmith (7.81)
Most appearances: Ed Weatherall (55)
Goals scored: Walrus (25)
Assists made: Sam Stock (20)
Passes completed: Alwyn Payne, Jacob, Ubor Skolskov (78%)
Man of match: Karan Mittal (10)
Shots on target: Alex Hemminh (77%)
Tackles made: Diver (6.66)
Most International Caps: Hassan Emirati (47)
Highest valued: Alex Hemming (£45,000,000)
Highest earner: Alex Hemming, Hassan Emirati (£145,000 per week)

Worst stats – Players

Lowest average rating: Cristiano Lazytov (6.66)
Least appearances Cristiano Lazytov (10)
Passes completed: Ed Weatherall (54%)
Shots on target: Cristiano Lazytov (22%)
Lowest valued: Cristiano Lazytov (£5,750,000)
Lowest earner: Cristiano Lazytov (£33,500 pw)
Fouls made: Diver (87)
Yellow cards: Diver (10)
Red cards: None
 
Nice update Uber, only had time to read mine as I'm off to bed but will read the other guys ones in the morning.

Assist machine :D
 
European Championships 2016

England (Alwyn Payne, Paz, Sam Stock, Diver, Walrus, cw1984, EdWeatherall):

It was an impressive showing from England in this tournament, and they would’ve likely run away with it if it weren't for Spain. England breezed past Denmark, Italy, Portugal and France on their way to the final, in these four matches conceding no goals and scoring 12.

But twice they came up against the Spaniards. The first time, in the group stage, England were 2-0 up thanks to a penalty from Diver and a composed finish from Sam Stock (Latching onto Paz’s free kick before spinning past Pique and driving it onto the far post and in), but Spain fought to a 2-2 draw.

In the final England would meet Spain again, but this time Spain would comfortably win 2-0.

- Alwyn couldn’t produce the goals for England like he has been for Juventus recently, and may feel a bit disappointed by his performances. The low point getting only a 5.6 rating against Portugal in a 3-0 victory for England, mainly due to him putting none of his six shots on target. In fact, Alwyn failed to put a single shot on target the entire tournament, playing every game and shooting 16 times in total. But he did put in efficient passing displays against Italy and France, the only two games in which he got a higher than 7 rating.

- Paz finished as England’s joint top scorer with Rooney, scoring three times. He scored Englands two opening goals against Denmark in the first group match, for which he was given Man of the Match. The first a simple tap in after a Sam Stock effort was saved, the second a cool one on one finish after latching onto a throughball from Stock. He then scored the opening goal in a 3-0 Quarter Final dismantling of Portugal, a brilliant curling free kick. He also won a penalty in the match which was dispatched to give England their 3-0 victory, with getting his second Man of the Match. He also created a goal for Sam Stock vs Spain in the Group Stage.

- Sam Stock scored twice this tournament. As mentioned against Spain in the Group Stage, but also England’s third goal in their 4-0 destruction of Italy, expertly bringing down a cross from Rooney onto his left foot, and past Domenico Criscito, before calmly firing it across Buffon and into the net.

In the same game he set up Walrus’ opener, capitalizing on an oppo mistake, intercepting the ball in midfield before spraying a 50 yard pass that was easily brought down and slotted past Buffon. He also created two goals for Paz in the game against Denmark.

- Diver was an impressive figure playing in midfield alongside Alwyn this tournament. He scored a penalty against Spain in the group stage, but also the opening goal against France in the Semi Final, rattling in an effort from just outside the box after a lay-off from Walrus. His passing was accurate and he put in a lot of running through the tournament, with impressive ratings like 7.8 vs Italy and 7.9 vs France, the only game he couldn’t impress in was the final vs Spain where he only got a 6.8.

- Walrus created more goals in the tournament than any other player, 5 assists in the end. He also bagged two goals - England’s third against Denmark, easily tapping in a square ball from Walcott,and the opener against Italy, mentioned earlier, bringing down a great ball from Sam Stock before tucking past Buffon.

His assists came against Spain (Winning a penalty for Diver to score, tripped by Ruben de la Red), Portugal (Winning a free kick which Paz scored from, and a simple midfield pass to Rooney who then hammered one in from 30 yards) and France (Lay off to Diver as mentioned, and then a neat pass to Rooney on the edge of the box for him to fire into the top corner first time – Walrus was voted man of the match vs France)

- Cw1984 didn’t let England down from his left back position, and although his passing was a bit sloppy at times, the only game he was given less than 7 in was the final against Spain. He was also one of the hardest working players for England throughout the tournament and won most of his tackles. None of the four goals England conceded were really cw1984’s fault unless you were pretty harsh (He had the job of marking Raul Albiol when he scored Spain’s opener in the final, but Sam Stock came off the line for some reason otherwise he would’ve stopped it)

- Early days in his England career, Ed Weatherall will just be happy to have been first choice in this major international tournament. He made no mistakes, kept 4 clean sheets in 6 games. England’s back four kept on top of every team except Spain so Weatherall wasn’t under much pressure, and couldn’t have done much about the goal conceded.

Russia (Ubor Skolskov)

As the hosts of this tournament Russia had everything to prove but ultimately crashed out in the group stage, losing twice and only spared from 4th place by a narrow win against Croatia.

Skolskov was one of only two Russian’s to come out of their opening 2-1 defeat to Germany with any pride, putting in a resolute defensive performance from midfield and getting a respectable 7.3 rating. He then played a key role in a 4-3 victory over Croatia, getting a 7.5 but completely outshone by Alen Dzagoev who scored a brilliant hat trick. But a 2-0 loss to Greece put Russia out of the tournament, but Skolskov came away with a 7.1 rating in that game. Embarrassment for Russia, but not the worst 3 games for Skolskov personally.

Sweden (Jacob, Rasmus Nilsson)

Like Russia, Sweden also bowed out of the group stages, with 1-0 losses to Portugal and Serbia, and a 1-1 draw with the Ukraine.
Against Portugal Jacob was one of the more impressive performers with a 7.3 average rating, but most of his work was defensive in trying to contain rampant Man of the Match Adrien. Nilsson on the other hand barely got near the ball the first 45 minutes, and Robin Eriksson took his place on the pitch at half time.

Nilsson would put in a much better performance against Serbia, and Jacob would again put in a good shift. But much the same story, a 1-0 loss, Serbia’s midfield, especially Bosko Jankovic, forcing Sweden’s midfield into defensive action. They put in 19.9km of running between them over the 90 minutes, but Sweden couldn’t near the Serbian goal and Jacob produced Sweden’s only effort on goal, fired off target. But if the rest of Sweden were are precise in their passing and Jacob and Nilsson then they might’ve had better opportunities.

Against Ukraine, Nilsson began on the bench, still recovering from his demanding performance against Serbia. Jacob’s hard work in midfield gave Sweden control of the match as they mustered 19 efforts on goal. But they only 6 of their shots were on target, only 1 scored. Ukraine clinically scored one of their few opportunities and so it finished 1-1.

Overall, Jacob definitely showed his class in Sweden’s midfield, and Nilsson was impressive against an excellent Serbian team, but the Swedish has obvious weaknesses elsewhere on the pitch.

Scotland (Dennis Law):

Law was again snubbed for this tournament, Gary Glen again called up instead. Scotland therefore finished bottom of their group with only one goal to their name, picking up a respectable draw against the Dutch, but losing to France and Switzerland.

Serbia (Legold Legster):

Serbia would reach the Quarter Finals of the tournament before succumbing to rampant Spain. Legster played in all four of their games, but at left back he was pretty low key. His best performance came in the 1-0 victory over Sweden where he got a 7.2 rating, winning 9 tackles and really commanding the left flank with man of the match Bosko Jankovic.

Serbia lost 1-0 to Ukraine in their first match before beating the Swedish, and a 2-1 victory over Portugal – won in the 90th minute – gave them top spot in their group. But they would be drawn against Spain in the Quarters and emphatically beaten 3-0. Legster didn’t make a huge impression in the Serbia team, but not but part of this was a pretty solid defensive showing with no big errors besides some misplaced passes. He is probably demoralized with his unhappy situation at Inter.

Winners: Spain

European Championship Best Player:

1. Nicola Rocchicciola (Switzerland)
2. Ignacio Camacho (Spain)
3. Paz (England)

Dream Team:

Iker Casillas (Spain)
Miguel Torres (Spain)
Raul Albiol (Spain)
Diver (England)
Cesar Azpillicueta (Spain)
Nicola Rocchiccioli (Switzerland)
Paz (England)
Alen Dzagoev (Russia)
Ignacio Camacho (Spain)
Walrus (England)
Fernando Torres (Spain)

Subs: Stekelenburg (Holland), Mata (Spain), Sam Stock (England), Cesc Fabregas (Spain), Bojan (Spain), Reto Ziegler (Switzerland), Wayne Rooney (England), Mathieu Flamini (France), Yoann Gourcuff (France), Adrien (Portugal), Branko Jovanovic (Serbia), Sergio Ramos (Spain)
 
naiiize

will read it in more detail when im back from work, but great update - things in Walrusville are looking good for the future!
 
Good things come to those that wait.

After working my way to captain at the Baggies i get the big move at last! 45million? Bloody hell, and Serie A defender of the year! I don't know if this is at all possible Uber, and seeing as you've done so much already i wouldn't care less if you didn't, but is there a way of finding out how many of those 10 goals were conceded when i was playing?

Forza Milan!


And fair play to Ed for getting his big move, after starting so slowly how'd have thunk he'd break the world record!

P.S Just noticed that i've turned into an O'Shea character with my shots on targer ratio.
 
Great update.

7.81 rating is ridiculous, need to get out of Munich, I'm wasted there.
 
"Sickeningly, Emirati was awarded an improved contract the beginning of this season"

:lol:
 
Yeh, great update

Where did my monster move come from? I had come to terms with a life of mediocrity, so to make such a move was very unexpected.

Although, Arsenal ffs.

Especially when it seems United are crying out for a decent GK.

Also, shame England couldn't win the European Championships, hopefully this 'golden generation' can win the 2018 WC
 
UBERScholes said:
23. George Worst (Arsenal)

George has become a monster of a player for Arsenal, not only a source of goals and creativity (Scoring 11 and creating 12 this season), but as a source of solid graft as well. Worst has been running on average 10.8km a match! Running 445.1km for the season. He likes to stick his foot in as well, making 3.40 tackles a game, winning 140 out of 159. 7 times he was voted Man of the Match this season. May want to work on his passing though since 68% accuracy isn’t too impressive within this Arsenal squad.

George has a bit of a fetish for managers and currently has nine of them in his favored personnel, including Mark Hughes, Jurgen Klinsmann, Tony Mowbray, Ricky Sbragia and Roy Hodgson. Most of these he hasn’t even played under. Looks like a career in management could be in store for George, or maybe there’s just something a bit more sinister going on and the game given him a certain kind of personality.

For Belgium George hasn’t been able to replicate his fantastic form for Arsenal, and has only scored 3 times in 35 apps. They couldn’t qualify for the Euro Championships, with Poland taking 2nd place in the group behind England.

http://i70.photobucket.com/albums/i100/UBERScholes/GWorst4.png
Click to expand...

Yes, finally. :cool:
 
woohooo Paz @ R.Madrid and having a stormer at the Euro Championships, finally coming into his own :cool:

awesome update as always mate
 
One of four who isn't in the in a top10 club of the world.
 
I haven't had much time for any updates recently because I'm moving into a new house and haven't had much access to my PC with the game on it. Hopefully will be all finished on Sunday and will then be able to finish off the updates (Unless Xander or someone wants to take over?)
 
phelans shorts said:
how long before the 2010 experiment begins ;)
Click to expand...

Hopefully soon, I would want to be a part of that one.

I remember PSmith did a legendary thread a while back where he did a RedCafe United team that started in the first division and moved up through the leagues.

Won the champions league eventually. Quality thread.
 
I've never really paid too much attention to this thread because i've not had the game for the past few years but this appears to not have a need for us to have the game - is that right?

Looks an interesting concept anyway and one i'd like to get involved with!
 
I'd be interested in one for '10. Where do I sign up?
 
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