“When you’re sick for two or three years and you don’t know what’s going on, all of a sudden I went from the baddest man on the planet, to vulnerable,” Lesnar said. “It’s reality. My whole life I’ve been this superhuman freak that just kills people, a savage beast. I wasn’t that guy anymore. … Of course my confidence was totally jaded on my last three fights. Whose wouldn’t be? Is Anderson Silva the same guy he was (after breaking his leg)?
“I’ve been a barbarian my whole life. I’m just a smarter barbarian now. Evolution, you know?”
But Lesnar still gathered his fight camp at his home in Minnesota in recent months to prepare for a big-money UFC return. He said his training has been going splendidly, with his coaches “absolutely amazed” by his progress.
Yet doubt kept clawing at Lesnar’s mind. He had a sleepless night a month ago, when he began talking audibly to himself about a return. He booked his own ticket to Los Angeles last month to attend the UFC 184 card highlighted by Ronda Rousey’s latest dramatic victory, hoping the energy and atmosphere of a big-time title fight would rekindle his fire.
“I tried to picture myself coming down to the cage, and it was like a bad dream,” Lesnar said. “It just wasn’t right. It didn’t feel right.”
Lesnar realizes his athletic retirement is cushioned by his busy schedule with the WWE, and he still gets a measure of competitive thrill from pro wrestling’s scripted results. He also will have more time to spend with his wife and three children, and Lesnar seems confident he can thrive without MMA.
“I’m riding the caboose of my sports career,” Lesnar said, waving his hand in the air. “I just barely caught this thing. I’ll see you the next time.”
