TEAM ANTOHAN (UPDATED)
GOALKEEPER
Bernard Lama
A cracking keeper in that excellent mid-90s PSG side. His agility and reflexes made him look like a panther in goal and formidable aerially. A bit of a nutter like the man who would take his place in nets for France after testing positive for cannabis, which effectively marked the end of his career at the top. He was similar in style as well except that he didn’t lack in height and didn’t have those occasional lapses in concentration while mulling over where to go for dinner that night.
DEFENDERS
Ronald Koeman
The best goalscoring defender in history, with a career record a striker would be proud of (1 in 3) and twice as many as second placed Daniel Passarella. Koeman was devastating from free kicks and penalties, also holding the record for most top league consecutive converted penalties. That’s no minor point considering how my attack is bound to be stopped that way quite regularly!
Of course, it isn’t just the goals I was looking for here, but the technique and power associated with those shots, which translate to his passing. We talk a lot about ball-playing defenders and if they can put a pass here or there every now and then they suddenly become different from a stopper. Koeman was miles ahead though, his passing was just from a different planet as far as defenders are concerned, and I mean
ball-playing ones. It wasn't just the ease with which he could spray pinpoint passes all over the pitch but his football brain overall, which made them sublime, incisive and devastating.
These qualities forced opponents to leave space between the lines or be punished by a ball over the top (which still invariably happened once they fell behind and had to push up!). This space can then be exploited by the likes of Bergkamp, Robben and Ginola to free themselves up, receive and run at the deep defensive line.
Lilian Thuram
Koeman's playmaking attributes come at a cost: he wasn't the best when faced with explosive strikers. When faced with these, he absolutely needs a partner that complements him well, and who better than Le Tronc?
Thuram was the perfect modern defender; fast, athletic, strong. A tireless worker, strong in the tackle and equally adept at centre-back or right-back. A key component in the miserly Juventus defence of the early 2000s, and Team of the Tournament performances in two separate World Cups as both a RB and CB.
He wouldn't just be the ideal partner for Koeman, but also happens to have an excellent proven record alongside Sagnol for France. Splendid.
Andreas Brehme
One of the best fullbacks of all time and the best ambidextrous player of all time, Brehme was one of those who, like Zanetti, made the flank his exclusive territory in all phases of the game. Koeman is delighted to have such a dependable presence on the left, no worries there.
As usual, youtube clips are shite for showing overall play/crossing/assists, but if in any doubt over his contribution upfront, these classic Brehme rockets will do:
Willy Sagnol
An underrated talent. Sagnol was a top quality rightback equally strong in offensive and defensive phases. He won everything there was to be won with Bayern, but was unlucky to spend many of his best years playing second fiddle to Thuram as an international.
Once Desailly retired and Thuram moved to CB France caught a glimpse of what they had been missing, with outstanding displays in the knockout stages of WC’06 against Brazil, Portugal and Italy. He proved he wasn’t just a solid defender against the very best widemen around but also added a different dimension to Thuram in attack.
He is as good as it gets for what his role here requires, keeping the defence robust and being the ideal overlap for Robben to link with further up the pitch.
Gica Popescu
Also referred to as “Baciul” (Leader) in his native Romania, Gica’s ability to bring the ball out of defence and turning defence into attack was what made him the natural successor to Ronald Koeman at Barca.
Immense as a defensive organiser and leader, he was to Romania’s defence what Hagi was to their attack, something they would later successfully replicate for Galatasaray in arguably their most successful spell to date. His reading of the game and anticipation of danger resulted in him breaking up attacks before they had even started.
Here he will either be playing further forward protecting the defence and supporting the midfield or partnering Koeman, subject to the game at hand. Sometimes the switch will likely happen over the course of the game as and when the circumstances require it, which is a huge bonus.
CENTRAL MIDFIELDERS
Bastian Schweinsteiger
A beast, we’ve all seen it over the last few years, the most complete all-round midfield package out there. The best midfield all-rounder since Matthaus IMO, capable of turning in World Class performances in a defensive, box-to-box or playmaking role.
Phillip Cocu
Another one who may get underrated here due to no fault of his own. Cocu was far and away the best performer out of that Dutch lot that joined Barca under van Gaal. Only Kluivert came close to contributing as much, but not as consistently. The rest were absolutely terrible and, as that translated to results, it somewhat tarnishes his record.
It shouldn’t, he was at times the only saving grace they had defensively given van Gaal’s preferred midfield trio of Pep, Cocu and Figo, with the likes of Reiziger, Bogarde and de Boer doing the Koeman solo defensive role. With constant changes in management and internal strife, the only constant was whichever manager came trusting Cocu to turn in good performances.
You could argue the best Cocu only came out later when he returned to PSV and had the sort of starring role he deserved, being able to contribute further up the pitch unshackled by pressing defensive duties. But then, the fact is I want him doing the former here, sitting, shielding, pinging balls all over the pitch and only really getting into the box to use his height and heading ability at set pieces.
Eric Djemba-Djemba
A guaranteed numerical advantage the moment he walks onto the pitch.
ATTACKING MIDFIELDERS/WINGERS
Dennis Bergkamp
The non-flying Dutchman, even in that way he was special. The more time goes by, the less the red mist of rivalry clouds my judgment and I begin to accept he was one of the best ever and certainly the best advanced orchestrator the Premier League has seen.
If there ever was someone who could replicate Laudrup’s role at Barca, being the glue that makes it all gel together and work like a symphony, he would be one of the top candidates.
Words fail me really, do yourself a favour and watch this. For once a proper football clip.
Arjen Robben
This Dutchman
does fly, down the wing, cutting in, and piling up all those who dare get close. He always looked special, but at Bayern he has gone up another gear, particularly once he was force-fed humble pie after that final against Chelsea.
He will be tearing up fullbacks for fun.
David Ginola
Another wing wizard with less direct dribbling but more elegance and guile. The Geordies loved him and called him David Copperfield, so did Spurs fans, so keen on the sort of open sexy wing play us United fans also love.
It is often cited as a travesty that none of the United 99 side got PFA or FW Player of the Year, “they took votes off each other”. Quite true, but was he not deserving though? It’s not late in the game against Arsenal, sure, but isn’t this almost as beautiful?
Thomas Müller
Nothing like the others. Müller isn’t the type of traditional winger we’ve come to know in football, no typical trademark — no blistering pace, no immense dribbling skills to turn defenders dizzy… No emphasis on a typical winger attribute. No, Müller is different to the traditional. He’s the type to drift out of the game, unnoticed, until the right moment, where he makes the diverting run into space to be through on goal and before you know it, he’s in to score or assist.
This is a good article explaining his style and its effectiveness far better than I possibly could.
Raumdeuter
STRIKER
Edinson Cavani
Pace, power, dribbling, aerial prowess, great finishing from close or long range. The boy is the complete package to have upfront, particularly with that service and supporting cast.
Consistenly a 30+ goals a season striker since 2010, despite regularly and selflessly putting his incredible stamina and workrate at the service of his teammates, supporting them wherever he may be needed. Outstanding really.