Gaming The Europa Universalis 4 Experiment III

[Phil Jones Face]

@Organic Potatoes and @Withnail ended up at war after Withnail's ally Al Qo-something declared on Imerati, a one province, 11 development nation in the Caucasus who the Russians happpened to be allied to. Was it really worth fighting over? Definitely not. Interestingly, as a Eyalet form of vassal, @WI_Red isn't required to join his master in wars. And he didn't. As it wasn't a direct war between the two major powers, the Russian's couldn't call on their Austrian allies and the Ottomans couldn't call on the French

The Russians had 74k infantry, 14k cavalry and 18k artillery. Opposing him was 127k infantry, 43k cavalry and 85k artillery. The Russian's had made great leaps technologically, but were still 1 level behind the Turks in mil tech.

The Ottomans had free reign in Russia, as Organic Potatoes, so used to declaring offensive sneaky wars, didn't seem to appreciate the art of defence. He didn't appear to have built any forts bordering the Ottomans and they just strode around. Had he hired Shakesy as a military adviser after he was kicked out of the Council of Elrond?

I couldn't find 1/3 of the Russian troops, so I scoured the map for a good couple minutes until I found them. Ah. Defending Iceland from a theoretical Ottoman naval invasion. Seems logical.

The Russians lost 34,000 in battle and 5000 to attrition. The Ottomans lost 22,000 in battle and 89,000 to attrition. What a nothing burger of a war.

In my last post, I was fearful for @AnotherLondonManc's safety after he provocatively took Ragusa right under the Ottomans nose. What I hadn't feared was Ferrara declaring war on him and calling in the Emperor.

Then the Pope declared war on him too. Then Savoy.

In the Austro-Venetian war AnotherLondonManc lost 1 province and released Ragusa.

In the Papal-Venetian war they lost their capital Venice. They now only control 1 of their starting provinces and are for all intents and purposes Milan in turquoise.

Versus Savoy he lost another province. 3 wars and 3 losses in 2 years. Ouchies.

After all the punishment, maniak allied him

It's time to say goodbye to another player. They're dropping like flies right now. @Dr. Dwayne has integrated the kingdom of Burgundy into Austria, even after maniak's protestations in the original inheritance event. Goodbye @PSV

But while one player passes, we welcome another back.The battle Pope declared war on Savoy and called the Emperor in. The Pope demanded that Savoy release @SilentWitness with the title of Grandmaster of a monastic order and guaranteed their independence. Dr. Dwayne gained 3 more provinces. Welcome back SilentWitness!

But then AnotherLondonManc said NOPE and killed SilentWitness 5 years later. Goodbye SilentWitness!

In other news:

• P-Nutt allied maniak and Andycoleno9. The Commonwealth probably view it as a deterrent against the Ottomans, however France and Denmark both hate Austria
• Organic Potatoes is colonising what remains of Brazil. Yes, you read that right. Russia is in Brazil
• Withnail annexed the newly released Moldavia. Nobody would defend it
• Stettin, who has been bullying hobbers for so long, is now feeding him gold
• maniak and Andycoleno9 continue racing into the interior, declaring war on the same tribes as each other
• harms beat Kilwa in south Africa, which I wasn't expecting given how little his presence there was. He's stealing south Africa from under MadDoggs nose and has begun colonising and attacking in Malaysia.
• The natives continue declaring war on The Cat-RedSky colonies. They lost land access to the gulf of Mexico again. Then regained it. Then lost it. Then regained it. It's going to be really deceptive on the next 50 year update, because half of the natives in that region are yellow/gold coloured too. So the Spanish territory is much smaller than it looks. Have I said it's a shit show before? It's definitely a shit show.
• The Cat-RedSky started attacking the aboriginees
• I don't understand the MadDogg colonisation strategy. Everybody is building colonial empires while he keeps island hopping, colonising the most remote islands, but nothing substantive. Even Friesland has a large colonial empire in Guinea ffs.
• Lusatia became a vassal of Dr. Dwayne diplomatically. Then annexed them diplomatically.
• Emper Dr. Dwayne died. Everybody loves Emperor Dr. Dwayne, yada yada.
• Withnail is feeding WI_Red land he's captured in Arabia. But WI_Red is still throwing a tantrum and refusing to fight for his overlord.
• Organic Potatoes is attacking into Mongolia. He ended up fighting Juanpur in central India
• The Mughals (Timurids) and Papal States are going wild this game. The two countries that I didn't randomise!
• hobbers has allied Dr. Dwayne

And an updated player alliances map ahead of the next 50 year update.

 

[Phil Jones Face]

I remember one particular EU2 game where I was doing the Big Blue Blob thing, then at least Spain, Austria and England ganged up on me. I did not let that go for the rest of the game

I think I have some AAR screenshots somewhere, but the only ones I can find are from this game, which I don't appear to even be in. I think maybe that was one where I took over Austria from God(whatshisname?) I remember he had completely mismanaged it, and I basically ditched everything else and made sure I was always ahead in land tech. I'm pretty sure I blitzed France's generals with some cavalry too to stack-wipe them. The good old days.

Jesus christ, the nostalgia hits hard.

I miss the general system from that game. France would go wild every game when it hit the Napoleonic era and had all the amazing generals. Poor Britain only had Wellington.

 

[nimic]

Jesus christ, the nostalgia hits hard.

I miss the general system from that game. France would go wild every game when it hit the Napoleonic era and had all the amazing generals. Poor Britain only had Wellington.

Watch your nostalgia levels, but I edited that post to include a bit of the chat log from that actual game

Edit: Actually I didn't edit, I just posted again right after like the post count whore I am.

 

[SilentWitness]

Hello aga......bye.

 

[Phil Jones Face]

Watch your nostalgia levels, but I edited that post to include a bit of the chat log from that actual game

Edit: Actually I didn't edit, I just posted again right after like the post count whore I am.

That sounds like something I'd have said. FFS

 

[AnotherLondonManc]

Hello aga......bye.

 

[WI_Red]

Spoiler: A view from WI_Red's Throne room.

 

[Andycoleno9]

Jesus christ, the nostalgia hits hard.

I miss the general system from that game. France would go wild every game when it hit the Napoleonic era and had all the amazing generals. Poor Britain only had Wellington.

I don't. France with 20k brave could demolish 100k western armies. Same as in EU3.
France was soooo overpowered in those games.

 

[Organic Potatoes]

Organic Potatoes is colonising what remains of Brazil. Yes, you read that right. Russia is in Brazil

"Doing Organic Potatoes Things"

 

[harms]

I don't understand the MadDogg colonisation strategy. Everybody is building colonial empires while he keeps island hopping, colonising the most remote islands, but nothing substantive. Even Friesland has a large colonial empire in Guinea ffs.

It's called strategic planning! Just you wait.

He needs to colonize Nauru for when Australians will want to outsource their outsourced prisons.

 

[harms]

• Organic Potatoes is colonising what remains of Brazil. Yes, you read that right. Russia is in Brazil

This reminds me of the Russian Old Believers community in Brazil. They follow the pre-1650 version of Eastern Orthodoxy and look +- like they would at the time.

 

[Phil Jones Face]

1594 - 150 year update

I've had a closer look at Skanderbeg and it does it look like it's broken for datascraping vassals since the DLC. So there will be no vassals included in the weighting for any of the updates.

Just worth bearing in mind colonial nations (namely, harms, maniak, The Cat-RedSky and Andycoleno9) will be a little stronger than the lists reflect.


Development (value of provinces):

1. Withnail: 1 762 (unchanged)
2. Organic Potatoes: 1 166 (+1)
3. Dr. Dwayne: 1 152 (+6)
4. The Cat-RedSky: 1 070 (-2)
5. MadDogg: 894 (unchanged)
6. maniak: 859 (unchanged)
7. P-Nut: 777 (-3)
8. harms: 596 (+2)
9. WI_Red: 460 (-1)
10. Andycoleno9: 444 (-2)

Land army size:

1. The Cat-RedSky: 160,000 (+1)
2. Dr. Dwayne: 133,000 (+5)
3. Withnail: 124 ,000 (-2)
4. P-Nut: 123,000 (unchanged)
5. Organic Potatoes: 111,000 (unchanged)
6. MadDogg: 106,000 (-3)
7. harms: 89,000 (+1)
8. maniak: 83,000 (-2)
9. Andycoleno9: 42,000 (unchanged)
10. AnotherLondonManc: 34,000 (new entry)

Navy size:

1. Withnail: 140 (+1)
2. The Cat-RedSky: 112 (-1)
3. MadDogg: 112 (+1)
4. Andycoleno9: 89 (+1)
5. maniak: 83 (+1)
6. harms: 68 (-2)
7. Organic Potatoes: 47 (unchanged)
8. WI_Red: 47 (unchanged)
9. P-Nut: 29 (+1)
10. Dr. Dwayne: 23 (new entry)

Total income:

1. Withnail: 254 (unchanged)
2. MadDogg: 167 (+1)
3. The Cat-RedSky: 160 (-1)
4. Dr. Dwayne: 130 (+6)
5. Organic Potatoes: 111 (+1)
6. maniak: 105 (-1)
7. harms: 101 (unchanged)
8. P-Nut: 101 (-4)
9. Andycoleno9: 71 (-1)
10. AnotherLondonManc: 62 (-1)

Mana generated (i.e, how lucky you've been with your monarch spawn stats or events and how much you've spent improving your country):

1. Withnail: 58591 (unchanged)
2. MadDogg: 51422 (+1)
3. The Cat-RedSky: 50392 (+1)
4. AnotherLondonManc: 50184 (+1)
5. maniak: 49390 (+1)
6. P-Nut: 47939 (+2)
7. Andycoleno9: 47509 (-5)
8. Dr. Dwayne: 47336 (-1)
9. Organic Potatoes: 46713 (new entry)
10. harms: 44426 (-1)

Ideas chosen (provide important buffs, generated by mana):

28: The Cat-RedSky, maniak, MadDogg, Andycoleno9, AnotherLondonManc, P-Nut, Withnail
27: harms, Dr. Dwayne, hobbers
25: Organic Potatoes, WI_Red


Army casualties (in combat + attrition)

1. Withnail: 2 034 008 (unchanged)
2. The Cat-RedSky: 779 970 (+3)
3. Organic Potatoes: 647 397 (-1)
4. Dr. Dwayne: 639 985 (+3)
5. P-Nut: 614 274 (-2)
6. MadDogg: 559 050 (unchanged)
7. WI_Red: 483 256 (-3)
8. harms: 475 581 (+2)
9. Andycoleno9: 320 860 (unchanged)
10. AnotherLondonManc: 317 353 (-2)

Navy casualties:

1. Withnail: 79 (unchanged)
2. AnotherLondonManc: 76 (+1)
3. WI_Red: 61 (-1)
4. harms: 48 (+2)
5. Organic Potatoes: 41 (+3)
6. The Cat-RedSky: 39 (-1)
7. Andycoleno9: 19 (unchanged)
8. Dr. Dwayne: 12 (new entry)
9. Madogg: 11 (+1)
10. maniak: 9 (-1)

Dead players:

1. KirkDuyt (partioned by Andycoleno9 and Organic Potatoes)
2. SilentWitness (gobbled up by AnotherLondonManc, who is basically now Milan having lost the majority of his Venetian provinces, except he's torquoise)
3. Shakesy (beaten down by maniak, partioned by Dr. Dwayne, P-Nut and Withnail. Hated by everybody except for Mantua, who outlived him with their one province)
4. Stobzilla (beaten down by Dr. Dwayne, PU'd and integrated by Dr. Dwayne)
5. nimic (tickled by Withnail, beaten down by The Cat-RedSky, vassalised and integrated by maniak)
6. PSV (PU'd by Dr. Dwayne, released by Dr. Dwayne, PU'd by Dr. Dwayne, integrated by Dr. Dwayne)
7. SIlentWitness (ressurected by the Pope, preached the Gospel, crucified by AnotherLondonManc)

Religious map :

Tech map (the greener you are, the more tech you've embraced and the bigger advantages you have over your neighbours):

The state of the HRE. It has passed 4 reforms:

The dynastic map:

 

[Withnail]

Spoiler: A view from WI_Red's Throne room.

Oi, get the finger out!

 

[Withnail]

1594 - 150 year update

I've had a closer look at Skanderbeg and it does it look like it's broken for datascraping vassals since the DLC. So there will be no vassals included in the weighting for any of the updates.

Just worth bearing in mind colonial nations (namely, harms, maniak, The Cat-RedSky and Andycoleno9) will be a little stronger than the lists reflect.


Development (value of provinces):

1. Withnail: 1 762 (unchanged)
2. Organic Potatoes: 1 166 (+1)
3. Dr. Dwayne: 1 152 (+6)
4. The Cat-RedSky: 1 070 (-2)
5. MadDogg: 894 (unchanged)
6. maniak: 859 (unchanged)
7. P-Nut: 777 (-3)
8. harms: 596 (+2)
9. WI_Red: 460 (-1)
10. Andycoleno9: 444 (-2)

Land army size:

1. The Cat-RedSky: 160,000 (+1)
2. Dr. Dwayne: 133,000 (+5)
3. Withnail: 124 ,000 (-2)
4. P-Nut: 123,000 (unchanged)
5. Organic Potatoes: 111,000 (unchanged)
6. MadDogg: 106,000 (-3)
7. harms: 89,000 (+1)
8. maniak: 83,000 (-2)
9. Andycoleno9: 42,000 (unchanged)
10. AnotherLondonManc: 34,000 (new entry)

Navy size:

1. Withnail: 140 (+1)
2. The Cat-RedSky: 112 (-1)
3. MadDogg: 112 (+1)
4. Andycoleno9: 89 (+1)
5. maniak: 83 (+1)
6. harms: 68 (-2)
7. Organic Potatoes: 47 (unchanged)
8. WI_Red: 47 (unchanged)
9. P-Nut: 29 (+1)
10. Dr. Dwayne: 23 (new entry)

Total income:

1. Withnail: 254 (unchanged)
2. MadDogg: 167 (+1)
3. The Cat-RedSky: 160 (-1)
4. Dr. Dwayne: 130 (+6)
5. Organic Potatoes: 111 (+1)
6. maniak: 105 (-1)
7. harms: 101 (unchanged)
8. P-Nut: 101 (-4)
9. Andycoleno9: 71 (-1)
10. AnotherLondonManc: 62 (-1)

Mana generated (i.e, how lucky you've been with your monarch spawn stats or events and how much you've spent improving your country):

1. Withnail: 58591 (unchanged)
2. MadDogg: 51422 (+1)
3. The Cat-RedSky: 50392 (+1)
4. AnotherLondonManc: 50184 (+1)
5. maniak: 49390 (+1)
6. P-Nut: 47939 (+2)
7. Andycoleno9: 47509 (-5)
8. Dr. Dwayne: 47336 (-1)
9. Organic Potatoes: 46713 (new entry)
10. harms: 44426 (-1)

Ideas chosen (provide important buffs, generated by mana):

28: The Cat-RedSky, maniak, MadDogg, Andycoleno9, AnotherLondonManc, P-Nut, Withnail
27: harms, Dr. Dwayne, hobbers
25: Organic Potatoes, WI_Red


Army casualties (in combat + attrition)

1. Withnail: 2 034 008 (unchanged)
2. The Cat-RedSky: 779 970 (+3)
3. Organic Potatoes: 647 397 (-1)
4. Dr. Dwayne: 639 985 (+3)
5. P-Nut: 614 274 (-2)
6. MadDogg: 559 050 (unchanged)
7. WI_Red: 483 256 (-3)
8. harms: 475 581 (+2)
9. Andycoleno9: 320 860 (unchanged)
10. AnotherLondonManc: 317 353 (-2)

Navy casualties:

1. Withnail: 79 (unchanged)
2. AnotherLondonManc: 76 (+1)
3. WI_Red: 61 (-1)
4. harms: 48 (+2)
5. Organic Potatoes: 41 (+3)
6. The Cat-RedSky: 39 (-1)
7. Andycoleno9: 19 (unchanged)
8. Dr. Dwayne: 12 (new entry)
9. Madogg: 11 (+1)
10. maniak: 9 (-1)

Dead players:

1. KirkDuyt (partioned by Andycoleno9 and Organic Potatoes)
2. SilentWitness (gobbled up by AnotherLondonManc, who is basically now Milan having lost the majority of his Venetian provinces, except he's torquoise)
3. Shakesy (beaten down by maniak, partioned by Dr. Dwayne, P-Nut and Withnail. Hated by everybody except for Mantua, who outlived him with their one province)
4. Stobzilla (beaten down by Dr. Dwayne, PU'd and integrated by Dr. Dwayne)
5. nimic (tickled by Withnail, beaten down by The Cat-RedSky, vassalised and integrated by maniak)
6. PSV (PU'd by Dr. Dwayne, released by Dr. Dwayne, PU'd by Dr. Dwayne, integrated by Dr. Dwayne)
7. SIlentWitness (ressurected by the Pope, preached the Gospel, crucified by AnotherLondonManc)

Religious map :

Tech map (the greener you are, the more tech you've embraced and the bigger advantages you have over your neighbours):

The state of the HRE. It has passed 4 reforms:

The dynastic map:

That's an insane amount of losses. What's attritional mean in that context? I seem to be losing a lot more men than anyone else, especially through attrition.

 

[Phil Jones Face]

That's an insane amount of losses. What's attritional mean in that context? I seem to be losing a lot more men than anyone else, especially through attrition.

Attrition = your losses through stationing armies in provinces that don't provide enough support for them. Think of it as starvation, sickness, etc.

Poor provinces, difficult terrain, poor weather, overstacking armies etc all contribute to this.

 

[RedSky]

@The Cat

 

[harms]

So, I was ruled by the De Avis family... but now it's ruling Castilla & Aragon and I'm suddenly a Lancaster! What's this, a game of dynastic musical chairs?

And you weren't kidding about my exploits in South America! We do need to flush potatoes into the ocean though @The Cat @RedSky

 

[Withnail]

Attrition = your losses through stationing armies in provinces that don't provide enough support for them. Think of it as starvation, sickness, etc.

Poor provinces, difficult terrain, poor weather, overstacking armies etc all contribute to this.

That's a bit grim. So essentially I'm a callous bastard when it comes to the welfare of my troops.

 

[WI_Red]

That's a bit grim. So essentially I'm a callous bastard when it comes to the welfare of my troops.

and you wonder why we won't follow you into war you heartless warlord! If I had a ruler with an IQ higher than Hannibal's yellow card count we never would have agreed to join your meat grinder.

 

[Andycoleno9]

That's a bit grim. So essentially I'm a callous bastard when it comes to the welfare of my troops.

Basically....yes.
In your case you lose a lot while you march through your huge country. You have poor provinces and your armies are big. So while they march through dozen provinces they lose soldiers.

 

[The Cat]

@The Cat

We are just the important ones.

 

[MadDogg]

• I don't understand the MadDogg colonisation strategy. Everybody is building colonial empires while he keeps island hopping, colonising the most remote islands, but nothing substantive. Even Friesland has a large colonial empire in Guinea ffs.

Just you wait. I have a plan that will make the world shudder when it comes to fruition.

It's called strategic planning! Just you wait.

Harms knows what's up.

But seriously, considering how high up I am on the leaderboards I feel like I've done almost nothing since forming Great Britain. Wonder if I'll start throwing my weight around at some point.

 

[P-Nut]

I've just downloaded and booted this up. Never played a single one of these before, but am I OK just jumping in with the base game? I've got my hands on a lot of the DLC, but I'm thinking bland will be best to begin with?

 

[Shakesy]

I've just downloaded and booted this up. Never played a single one of these before, but am I OK just jumping in with the base game? I've got my hands on a lot of the DLC, but I'm thinking bland will be best to begin with?

Vanilla is all you need now. Coming to grips with the game itself is a very, very hard slog. It'll probably take you a good 50 hours to get decent and 200 hours to get better. It's worth it though, so persevere!

 

[P-Nut]

Vanilla is all you need now. Coming to grips with the game itself is a very, very hard slog. It'll probably take you a good 50 hours to get decent and 200 hours to get better. It's worth it though, so persevere!

Yeah I'm an hour in, chose England just for ease of getting used to it. I've spent all my money on advisors and now have 0 gold, whilst the war of the roses is about to break out.

I'm so out of my depth it's untrue

 

[Shakesy]

Yeah I'm an hour in, chose England just for ease of getting used to it. I've spent all my money on advisors and now have 0 gold, whilst the war of the roses is about to break out.

I'm so out of my depth it's untrue

Be patient, advisors come later.

Follow this at every start:

1. PAUSE
2. Set nations focus
3. Seize land from estates
4. Add 1 admin, diplo and military mana allocation at estates
5. Get 5 loans from Burghers
6. Add estate privileges until above 50
7. Seize land every time it's above 50
8. Send diplomats
9. Send merchants
10. Build up force limit and lower military upkeep
11. Mothball forts
12. Send trade ships out
13. Destroy cogs
14. Build up force limit
15. Set rivals
16. UNPAUSE
17. Get allies
18. Increase stability
19. Send diplomat to spy on country you want to attack
20. Claim territory when spy network is 25
21. Up military upkeep to 100
22. Unmothball forts
23. Send ships to harbours
24. Attack country
25. Peace out with funds and territory
26. Repay burghers
27. Hire 1 advisor when funds allow
28. Keep monthly income in the positive, even by 0.01

 

[WI_Red]

Yeah I'm an hour in, chose England just for ease of getting used to it. I've spent all my money on advisors and now have 0 gold, whilst the war of the roses is about to break out.

I'm so out of my depth it's untrue

I know some will frown on it, but I found using command console cheats (especially for gold and dip/adm/mil points) incredibly helpful when learning the game. Managing a functional economy is, for me, the hardest part of the game and removing that challenge in the beginning frees you up to learn the other game mechanics.

Also, each nation has a mission tree that will help prod you in a direction. As you get better you may want to plot your own course, but it’s useful when you start.

 

[Andycoleno9]

Yeah I'm an hour in, chose England just for ease of getting used to it. I've spent all my money on advisors and now have 0 gold, whilst the war of the roses is about to break out.

I'm so out of my depth it's untrue

You should have go straight with latest dlc. Always better to play "full" version. But ok.
Spain or Portugal are the best for begginers. England is tricky one.
As @WI_Red said; cheating in games usually is stupid (why play it then) but i do recommend few basic cheats (money and stability) for your first game. First save is a learning save anyway.

 

[WI_Red]

You should have go straight with latest dlc. Always better to play "full" version. But ok.
Spain or Portugal are the best for begginers. England is tricky one.

The Spain start has gotten tricky with the most recent update. Portugal is a good call.

 

[The Cat]

I've got this too and not started it yet. Maybe it's time.

 

[Phil Jones Face]

I've just downloaded and booted this up. Never played a single one of these before, but am I OK just jumping in with the base game? I've got my hands on a lot of the DLC, but I'm thinking bland will be best to begin with?

DLC adds a lot of flavour and gives countries a lot more options. I would go with DLC. I'd also argue it's "easier" with DLC as they add a lot of more advanced mechanics that weren't available in the base game (like favours for example. Oh god the "African Power" achievement was brutal with Kongo pre-favours ), but you won't be using these sort of features starting out.

Good luck. There's a lot of mechanics to it!


edit: try follow the mission trees where possible. They add a lot of flavour and open the game up to you for expansion, growth etc.

 

[maniak]

Why is Brittany still a thing?

 

[The Cat]

About to start the tutorial.

I fecked around with the graphics and it wouldn't change it back to 1920x1080 but deleting the settings.txt file did the trick.

 

[Phil Jones Face]

@Withnail declared war on Ragusa and called upon his ally @maniak to help, while @WI_Red continues to refuse to help his overlord. Ragusa had been accepted into Venice's defensive trade league recently, which @AnotherLondonManc likely grew to rue. Combined the Franco-Ottoman allies had 300k troops to AnotherLondManc's 40k. The war was very brief with the Venetian's peacing out having to pay war reparations. Ragusa was annexed by the Turks again. Withnail's reputation for indifference to the welfare of his troops continued, losing 18k on the battlefield and 63k to attrition. maniak lost 12k dead and 30k to attrition. AnotherLondonManc lost 48k in battle and 5k to attrition.

Then Ferrara declared war on the Venetian's and called in their ally the Emperor @Dr. Dwayne. AnotherLondonManc can't catch a break. Venice was partioned further.

We finally learned why Dr. Dwayne insisted on resuscitating @hobbers every time Brandenburg found itself on the ropes. It wasn't because of benelovence or selfless altruism from the Emperor. hobbers had been a part of the master plan all along. The Emperor has forced him into a personal union with the Austrians. hobbers can see the light at the end of the tunnel now..

In perhaps the strangest war of the game so far, @harms declared war on Vijayanagar, the second largest kingdom in India. Portugal had gained Goa through a mission and bordered the great Indian kingdom which had had 71k troops. harms decided to declare war on Vijayangar without having any troops stationed in Goa. A quick occupation and 8 years of thumb twiddling saw the Portuguese cede Goa and released a couple African provinces. The Portuguese lost 2k troops to battle and 9k to attrition. The Indians lost 2k to battle and 1k to attrition.

@Organic Potatoes attacked Shun and annexed Mongolia. He is now colonising the Far East

Withnail declared war on Ethiopia. You might recall that harms had previously allied Ethiopia to cockblock WI_Red, before the Ottomans had bulldozed their way into the region. Portugal was still allied to Ethiopia and as an unintended consequence, now found itself at war with the Turks and France, whom Withnail called in as an ally. WI_Red continued to cross his arms and sulk. The Portuguese were a mil tech behind both the French and Ottomans.

@Andycoleno9 sent pirate fleets to the Bay of Biscay to help Portugal. King harms personally led his troops in the defence of Portugal and was a great 3 star general in his own right - with 4(fire)/6(shock)/2(maneuver)/2(siege) stats. He won the majority of battles against France, but when the Ottomans turned up the situation quickly turned south and Portugal was carpet sieged.

harms soon tapped out, ceding only one province to Tunis. The Portuguese lost 153k in battle and 19k to attrition. The French lost 101k in battle and 45k to attrition. The Ottomans lost 77k to battle and 144k to attrition.

Andycoleno9's American colony declared war on The Cat-RedSky's Florida colony. Neither colony called in their parent nations to aid them. Colonial Florida was crushed.

In other news:

• Withnail is getting fairly frequent janissary rebellions. He annexed Yemen diplomatically
• WI_Red is receiving frequent gifts of gold and is fed land by Withnail, but he's still playing hard to get
• Dr. Dwayne vassalised and annexed Gelre diplomatically
• Pope maniak excommunicated The Cat-RedSky
• Andycoleno9 has started colonising Cameroon
• The Cat-RedSky continue to cockblock maniak by allying Brittany, whose lands are sought after
• MadDogg joined Friesland in their war vs Holland and Picardy. The war ended with Britain taking no land, despite bordering Picardy via Calais. He then ended up at war with Brittany, Piccardy and Flanders because of Frieslands aggressive warring. And again took no land.
• Andycoleno9 and maniak are map painting nicely in Canada and on the east coast. The Cat-RedSky is still a shit show, albeit one they have fully embraced. They appear to be throwing the shit back at the natives slightly faster than they're receiving it, which is progress in my eyes. New Spain bankrupt every 2 years on average and the Spanish kings keep having to threaten the natives into white peacing the colonials or else they will intervene.
• Protestant is spreading in central Europe and the Emperor's authority is at all time low. maniak has beome the second major power to convert, this time adopting the Reformed religion (Calvinism). The lines are being drawn..

 

[WI_Red]

Why is Brittany still a thing?

 

[Andycoleno9]

The Spain start has gotten tricky with the most recent update. Portugal is a good call.

Spain is tricky? What changed? So far it was easiest game as it can be. No danger from anywhere. You can play slow as you want. Marry Aragon, wait for PU, expand to Africa, colonize slowly New world and in time PU Portugal.
No better way to learn in-game mechanics

 

[harms]

Withnail's reputation for indifference to the welfare of his troops continued, losing 18k on the battlefield and 63k to attrition

That's Hannibal-level of attrition losses.

 

[Phil Jones Face]

Why is Brittany still a thing?

(I was posting about that in the update before I noticed your post)

 

[WI_Red]

Spain is tricky? What changed? So far it was easiest game as it can be. No danger from anywhere. You can play slow as you want. Marry Aragon, wait for PU, expand to Africa, colonize slowly New world and in time PU Portugal.
No better way to learn in-game mechanics

If I remember right they amped up the civil war stuff after the Infantes of Aragon event. If you set up your armies right you can get through it easily, but I have seen the AI completely taken over by rebels in some of my saves. Navigating that might be tricky for someone's first/second save.

 

[Andycoleno9]

@maniak . How we will devide N.America? East to me, west to you?