Freedom!
Gaming The Europa Universalis 4 Experiment III
- Thread starter Phil Jones Face
- Start date
The narration is top notch.
Welcome @Stobzilla
I'd like back into the HRE now please
I can offer a personal union if you'd like?
Oh feck off! Aren't the European rulers supposed to be the ones chock full of incest and metal poisoning related stupidity? The "out the window with you" strategy only works if you have a ruler smart (not dumb?) enough to do the throwing.
Me and @Shakesy really don't get along do we. Poland feels like a very aggressive country, don't remember being in this many wars for the full game last time round
So do I hate @nimic now?
Alas, shadows have returned to our pigsties. Time for a drink
Delusions of grandeur lead to me rival you 50 years ago. I'm proper fecked now
Yep. Great job.
I obviously hope I eat your whole lands, but I'm sure we saw someone come back from 1 province last time around.
The Ottomans annexed the Knights of Rhodes and took some land from nimic and AnotherLondonManc.
We can come back from this.
nimic sieged down Aragonese Sicily, but with 13k troops to defend against the combined 63k Spaniards, he never stood a chance.
He won a battle. And surrendered.
We can come back from this...
@Shakesy , you had one bloody job. One! To keep French out of game. You are useless. Now go to Paris and fix that. Give your son or daughter to Maniak
If I'm going to be fisted by anyone, I'm glad it was by a Canadian.
For those of you who guessed @Withnail was unzipping his pants as the reason why @P-Nut ended the Shakesy war prematurely, you'd be correct. While P-Nut was sieging down Shakesy, Withnail declared war on P-Nut's vassal Moldavia. His ally hobbers NOPE'd the feck out of there. Brandenburg went from wanting any action, to receiving all of it, then back to wanting none in a matter of years.
The war pitted 79k Ottomans against 88k Pole/Lithuanians.
It was an exceedingly bloody war, probably the bloodiest so far. Poland-Lithuania lost 165k troops in battle and 25k to attrition, while the Ottomans lost 100k in battle and 35k to attrition. P-Nut ended up ceding Wallachia and some Romanian territory, which in all honesty is a bargain considering the Turks were pushing on 60% warscore and overrunning Lithuania.
No sooner than the P-Nut-Shakesy war had finished, then Dr. Dwayne decided he wanted a piece of the Hungarian pie.
It was a comfortable victory against the defenseless Hungarians. @Dr. Dwayne sieged down all @Shakesy's territory.. then did this.
I'm lost for words. Genuinely.
Back over in France, the Protestant reformation has spawned in Brittany. The first of the Catholic princes to convert to Protestantism is @Andycoleno9.
This can only be a good thing for European stability, amirite boys?
@maniak pulled a 400 year old piece of paper out of his backside that stipulated he had claims to the throne of Naples. He declared war on @nimic in a restoration of union CB. It pitted Europes third largest army against 5k Italians.
I blinked and the war was over. I wish more wars were like this tbh.
@Organic Potatoes declared war on @KirkDuyt again. @MadDogg, the other half of the El Dude brothers, answered his call to arms.
Muscovy had 49k troops facing 49k English and 4k Swedes. To balance the odds, Organic Potatoes called on his ally @Dr. Dwayne to help out. The Austrians brought 47k troops to the war.
The English landed an expeditionary force in Riga, while the Muscovites ignored them and marched on Sweden directly, destroying the Swedish "army". When they MadDogg saw the Austrians arriving, the English retreated to the island of Aland and stayed there for the remainder of the war while Sweden burned.
With minimal English support, Sweden was wholly annexed by Muscovy. And this means KirkDuyt is our first player death. Somehow. F's in the chat.
Elsewhere, no words needed:
Followed up shortly after by a declaration of war from Withnail and:
And finally, the War of the Midgets:
@AnotherLondonManc declared war on @SilentWitness. SilentWitness might have won were it not for the fact he was allied to Shakesy and was called into the simultaneous war vs the Ottomans who destroyed his army. This gave AnotherLondonManc free reign to mop up in Italy. Venice has been kicked and shunted so far west that it basically now is Milan, territory wise.
In other news:
The war pitted 79k Ottomans against 88k Pole/Lithuanians.
It was an exceedingly bloody war, probably the bloodiest so far. Poland-Lithuania lost 165k troops in battle and 25k to attrition, while the Ottomans lost 100k in battle and 35k to attrition. P-Nut ended up ceding Wallachia and some Romanian territory, which in all honesty is a bargain considering the Turks were pushing on 60% warscore and overrunning Lithuania.
No sooner than the P-Nut-Shakesy war had finished, then Dr. Dwayne decided he wanted a piece of the Hungarian pie.
It was a comfortable victory against the defenseless Hungarians. @Dr. Dwayne sieged down all @Shakesy's territory.. then did this.
I'm lost for words. Genuinely.
Back over in France, the Protestant reformation has spawned in Brittany. The first of the Catholic princes to convert to Protestantism is @Andycoleno9.
This can only be a good thing for European stability, amirite boys?
@maniak pulled a 400 year old piece of paper out of his backside that stipulated he had claims to the throne of Naples. He declared war on @nimic in a restoration of union CB. It pitted Europes third largest army against 5k Italians.
I blinked and the war was over. I wish more wars were like this tbh.
@Organic Potatoes declared war on @KirkDuyt again. @MadDogg, the other half of the El Dude brothers, answered his call to arms.
Muscovy had 49k troops facing 49k English and 4k Swedes. To balance the odds, Organic Potatoes called on his ally @Dr. Dwayne to help out. The Austrians brought 47k troops to the war.
The English landed an expeditionary force in Riga, while the Muscovites ignored them and marched on Sweden directly, destroying the Swedish "army". When they MadDogg saw the Austrians arriving, the English retreated to the island of Aland and stayed there for the remainder of the war while Sweden burned.
With minimal English support, Sweden was wholly annexed by Muscovy. And this means KirkDuyt is our first player death. Somehow. F's in the chat.
Elsewhere, no words needed:
Followed up shortly after by a declaration of war from Withnail and:
And finally, the War of the Midgets:
@AnotherLondonManc declared war on @SilentWitness. SilentWitness might have won were it not for the fact he was allied to Shakesy and was called into the simultaneous war vs the Ottomans who destroyed his army. This gave AnotherLondonManc free reign to mop up in Italy. Venice has been kicked and shunted so far west that it basically now is Milan, territory wise.
In other news:
- Interesting fact for you: while most nations are on admin tech 8 or 9 and it requires admin 10 to form new nations, Organic Potatoes is stuck on admin 5.
- The Pope called for another crusade against the Ottomans
- The Pope excommunicated AnotherLondonManc for the 7th time. And an 8th. And a 9th.
- Dr. Dwayne died and was replaced as Emperor by himself. He is slightly less popular than the previous Dr. Dwayne. He enacted the third reform. Brandenburg is voting for itself.
- Protestantism spawned in Brittany.
- Andycoleno9 converted to Protestant and diplomatically annexed Norway
- MadDogg is supporting Palatinate independence from Andycoleno9
- Organic Potatoes annexed Kazan and seized much of Uzbek
- The Cat has started declaring war on Brazillian tribes
- Withnail annexed newly released Croatia and is now on the HREs borders. Thanks Emperor
- Withnail diplomatically annexed Crimea
- The Cat claimed Brazil to be wholly his possession
- maniak paid off AnotherLondonManc's debt
Death! Death is upon me!
Don't worry @nimic I'll be gentle.
Nooooooooo 
Probably saved me from the Turk, so I'll allow it.
How is your freedom going now?Nooooooooo
I assume a lack of update means my ruler is drooling in the corner?
I will have the best football team on the globe. +1billion ducats.
First big loss in wars and of course its the biggest loss of the whole thing so far. Hopefully we survive until the European tech gets advanced enough and we can fight back
I may be dead, but at least, uhm. Yeah.How is your freedom going now?
@Dr. Dwayne declared war on @Shakesy for a second time. Bankrupt, friendless and with his country already carpet bombed by rebels, Shakesy could only hope that the Austrians accidentally chose the wrong peace deal again.
Which they did, sort of. The premature peace dealer only took 4 provinces from Hungrary, including its wealthy capital, Pest. Shakesy went bankrupt again as a result.
Round two of the Ottoman-Mamluk war begun. @WI_Red stubbornly persisted with his alliance with the one province Karaman who occupied territory in de jure Anatolia. The Mamluks keep prodding the snake at this stage. @Withnail attacked Karaman and WI_Red answered the call to arms. 87k Ottomans faced off against 40k Mamluks. In their first foray, the Turks were perhaps too over confident and marched towards the Gulf of Suez before the Mamluks routed them.
When the Ottomans returned, they returned with full force. The former slavers were pushed further and further back into Africa to escape the relentless janissaries.
WI_Red ceded more territory. The Mamluks lost 39k to battle and 3k to attrition, while the Ottomans lost 57k on the battlefield and 36k to attrition.
The Great Peasants revolt begun in Brandenburg and is spreading rapidly throughout the HRE. @hobbers isn't having much luck.
Shakesy is also over run with peasant revolts. But that's because of his big brained plans.
Over in England, @MadDogg formed Great Britain. Congratulations! I have to admit I was skeptical you would recover after the disastrous start.
@P-Nut absorbed Lithuania, forming the Commonwealth!
The Iberian Wedding has borne a new child into the world - the union of two kingdoms. Goodbye Castille and Aragon, hello @The Cat- @RedSky!
And finally, we have to say goodbye to our second player: @SilentWitness, who was fell victim to the one province Trent (with a little support from the Emperor, Bohemia and 80k troops). F's in the chat!
In other news:
Which they did, sort of. The premature peace dealer only took 4 provinces from Hungrary, including its wealthy capital, Pest. Shakesy went bankrupt again as a result.
Round two of the Ottoman-Mamluk war begun. @WI_Red stubbornly persisted with his alliance with the one province Karaman who occupied territory in de jure Anatolia. The Mamluks keep prodding the snake at this stage. @Withnail attacked Karaman and WI_Red answered the call to arms. 87k Ottomans faced off against 40k Mamluks. In their first foray, the Turks were perhaps too over confident and marched towards the Gulf of Suez before the Mamluks routed them.
When the Ottomans returned, they returned with full force. The former slavers were pushed further and further back into Africa to escape the relentless janissaries.
WI_Red ceded more territory. The Mamluks lost 39k to battle and 3k to attrition, while the Ottomans lost 57k on the battlefield and 36k to attrition.
The Great Peasants revolt begun in Brandenburg and is spreading rapidly throughout the HRE. @hobbers isn't having much luck.
Shakesy is also over run with peasant revolts. But that's because of his big brained plans.
Over in England, @MadDogg formed Great Britain. Congratulations! I have to admit I was skeptical you would recover after the disastrous start.
@P-Nut absorbed Lithuania, forming the Commonwealth!
The Iberian Wedding has borne a new child into the world - the union of two kingdoms. Goodbye Castille and Aragon, hello @The Cat- @RedSky!
And finally, we have to say goodbye to our second player: @SilentWitness, who was fell victim to the one province Trent (with a little support from the Emperor, Bohemia and 80k troops). F's in the chat!
In other news:
- The Cat-RedSky is rapidly expanding their colonial empire in Brazil and started colonising and attacking natives in Mexico.
- harms is rapidly expanding in the Caribbean and Argentina
- MadDogg hasn't expanded colonially since reaching the Cape of Good Hope.
- Andycoleno9 annexed Gotland and has started colonising Massachusetts.
- WI_Red peaced out of the Ethiopia war for gold. It appears they were tougher than he expected. Beja became a vassal diplomatically, he attacked Medina then attacked Ethiopia a second time after the 2nd Ottoman war.
- The Cat, RedSky and harms beat down Tclemcen
- Hungary is a bit of a shitshow for religious unity, with Catholicism, Protestantism and Orthodoxy all present.
- Withnail mopped up Serbia.
- Dr. Dwayne declared war on and annexed Glogow, the same country he previously released from Stobzilla, when he forced Stobzilla into a personal union.
- maniak issued a new charter and started colonising Canada
- hobbers was called in as Stettin's ally to fight Brunswick. Brandenburg was rewarded with Celle.
- Organic Potatoes is expanding into the far east. not gonna lie, it raised the narrators eyebrows. Muscovy is attacking Oirat, which spans from Russia to almost Korea. And they have 41k troops to Organic Potatoes 48k.
- Shakesy allied his ever loyal friend Mantua again.
I can't quit you, @Shakesy
I only have backwater territories left, which no one really wants. No matter, someone will take it soon! In a way I'm a buffer state between three great powers. For now
When I flop I hope I flop to you
Nice, been hoping that happens for a while.
Emperor @Dr. Dwayne has enacted the 4th HRE reform. It's going a little better than the EU4 #2 HRE! But with heresy spreading like wildfire in the Empire, he is losing imperial authority and it's unlikely he will be able to pass any further reforms.. unless the heretics accidentally fall into fires..
Dr. Dwayne forced @PSV back into a personal union with him. I'm not quite sure how the mechanics of this one worked, as the Burgundian succession already happened. A mission tree perhaps? Anyhow, the Emperor is coming along quite nicely. Green = Austrian possessions, teal = personal unions, blue = allies
@MadDogg rejected the chance to form the Church of MadDogg and has for now chosen to stay Catholic.
@Withnail declared war on Moldavia again, bringing him into war with The @P-Nut. The Commonwealth lacked any major allies and started with the war with 54k infantry/18k cavalry/16k cannons to the Turks 62k/25k/16k. The Turks soon recruited many more troops and for the majority of the war, had almost 2x the number of their enemies.
In the first major engagement of the war, 20k Poles battled against 20k Turks at Birlad and were having the better of the Ottomans - despite possessing 1 level inferior military tech - however two reinforcing armies of 20k and 55k each from the Ottomans routed the P-Nut from the field. The opening battle showed that if P-Nut somehow managed to get even numbers - the Ottomans were beatable on the field. The Polish winged hussars (+30% cavalry combat ability) had a fearsome reputation and while the battle of Birlad was a loss, the Ottoman invincibility was questioned.
The P-Nut skillfully avoided major engagements with the Turks, picking off the Ottoman detachments piecemeal. It was an incredibly frustrating war for Withnail to fight. When he made gains in Moldavia, the Poles would swing around and attack Hungary. When the Turks reacted, P-Nut's rode back to Romania. They had numbers on their side, but the the Turks were losing 3 battles for every 1 victory.
Alas, it was a bloody, 9 year long war. While P-Nut did receive generous financial aid from Emperor Dr. Dwayne, his manpower dwindled and with no military aid incoming, he was forced to the negotiating table. Despite spending the majority of the years hovering between -6 and -9 warscore and winning the vast majority of the battles, the Commonwealth slumped to -40 in the final year, largely due to their lack of manpower to reinforce their dwindling armies. The Padishah had won through sheer numbers and dogged persistence in the end.
P-Nut lost 128k dead on the battlefield and 27k due to attrition. Withnail lost 197k on the field and 64k to attrition. Moldavia was annexed by the Ottomans and P-Nut ceded some former Lithuanian provinces.
After the Polish war, Withnail sort of blurted out his plans for the whole world to hear. Which came as a surprise to nobody.
The Ottomans declared wardays later.
Ironically, @Shakesy's instability seems to have only been "resolved" through the total occupation of Hungary by a foreign power.
Then he keeled over and died. Goodnight, sweet Prince. The big brain is the third player to die.
In other news:
Dr. Dwayne forced @PSV back into a personal union with him. I'm not quite sure how the mechanics of this one worked, as the Burgundian succession already happened. A mission tree perhaps? Anyhow, the Emperor is coming along quite nicely. Green = Austrian possessions, teal = personal unions, blue = allies
@MadDogg rejected the chance to form the Church of MadDogg and has for now chosen to stay Catholic.
@Withnail declared war on Moldavia again, bringing him into war with The @P-Nut. The Commonwealth lacked any major allies and started with the war with 54k infantry/18k cavalry/16k cannons to the Turks 62k/25k/16k. The Turks soon recruited many more troops and for the majority of the war, had almost 2x the number of their enemies.
In the first major engagement of the war, 20k Poles battled against 20k Turks at Birlad and were having the better of the Ottomans - despite possessing 1 level inferior military tech - however two reinforcing armies of 20k and 55k each from the Ottomans routed the P-Nut from the field. The opening battle showed that if P-Nut somehow managed to get even numbers - the Ottomans were beatable on the field. The Polish winged hussars (+30% cavalry combat ability) had a fearsome reputation and while the battle of Birlad was a loss, the Ottoman invincibility was questioned.
The P-Nut skillfully avoided major engagements with the Turks, picking off the Ottoman detachments piecemeal. It was an incredibly frustrating war for Withnail to fight. When he made gains in Moldavia, the Poles would swing around and attack Hungary. When the Turks reacted, P-Nut's rode back to Romania. They had numbers on their side, but the the Turks were losing 3 battles for every 1 victory.
Alas, it was a bloody, 9 year long war. While P-Nut did receive generous financial aid from Emperor Dr. Dwayne, his manpower dwindled and with no military aid incoming, he was forced to the negotiating table. Despite spending the majority of the years hovering between -6 and -9 warscore and winning the vast majority of the battles, the Commonwealth slumped to -40 in the final year, largely due to their lack of manpower to reinforce their dwindling armies. The Padishah had won through sheer numbers and dogged persistence in the end.
P-Nut lost 128k dead on the battlefield and 27k due to attrition. Withnail lost 197k on the field and 64k to attrition. Moldavia was annexed by the Ottomans and P-Nut ceded some former Lithuanian provinces.
After the Polish war, Withnail sort of blurted out his plans for the whole world to hear. Which came as a surprise to nobody.
The Ottomans declared wardays later.
Ironically, @Shakesy's instability seems to have only been "resolved" through the total occupation of Hungary by a foreign power.
Then he keeled over and died. Goodnight, sweet Prince. The big brain is the third player to die.
In other news:
- The Pope excommunicated AnotherLondonManc for the 10th time.
- Despite successfully sieging down much of Oirat, Organic Potatoes opted to demand 820 gold and no land in the peace deal. I thought that it was interesting, so I had a closer look at his finances. He's running at 9% inflation, 2,831 in debt and is making on average about 9 gold per month once expenses are costed. I'm not sure the Mongolian excursion was worth the debt..
- WI_Red took 10 provinces from Ethiopia and annexed Dongola
- MadDogg has started colonising south Africa again
- Andycoleno9 is attacking Iroquois
- TheCat-RedSky are rapidly expanding all over north America. They have started colonising Florida and Canada and are pushing towards California from Mexico
- Emperor Dr. Dwayne died. Emperor Dr. Dwayne was elected to replace him, albeit with a much reduced majority (4 for, 3 against). Long live the Emperor!
Farewell! Valhalla calls. Mead and maidens for all eternity
I am colonial power? Sweet. How? Through Iceland? Shame there is no gold in N.America
Quick post before the 100 year update.
Withnail declared war on the Mamluks again. @WI_Red can't catch a break. He keeps tunneling further into Africa while the Turks chase him.
The Mamluks and its allies started with 49k infantry, 21k cavalry and 7k artillery to the Ottomans 55k infantry, 32k cavalry and 53k (!) artillery. The Ottomans also had 2 levels of military tech advantage. The Pope and P-Nut sent WI_Red huge sums of money, but he faced the same issue that the Poles did - manpower and a lack of allies.
@hobbers was dragged into another war by its ally Stettin and lost territory to Lubeck.
@harms expanded into Morocco
And about 40 years after everybody else, @Organic Potatoes has formed Russia! Golf clap.
And I thought might be interesting to see (crudely) players relations with each other at a glance.
In other news:
Withnail declared war on the Mamluks again. @WI_Red can't catch a break. He keeps tunneling further into Africa while the Turks chase him.
The Mamluks and its allies started with 49k infantry, 21k cavalry and 7k artillery to the Ottomans 55k infantry, 32k cavalry and 53k (!) artillery. The Ottomans also had 2 levels of military tech advantage. The Pope and P-Nut sent WI_Red huge sums of money, but he faced the same issue that the Poles did - manpower and a lack of allies.
@hobbers was dragged into another war by its ally Stettin and lost territory to Lubeck.
@harms expanded into Morocco
And about 40 years after everybody else, @Organic Potatoes has formed Russia! Golf clap.
And I thought might be interesting to see (crudely) players relations with each other at a glance.
In other news:
- Withnail has allied maniak
- Protestantism is taking hold in the low countries and northern Germany. The Emperor's influence is evaporating.
- The Cat-Redsky continues expanding at an alarming rate in north America. It's begun colonising south Africa too.
- The Timurids have formed the Mughals in Persia
- Dr. Dwayne mad Landshut a vassal diplomatically
- WI_Red annexed Beja diplomatically
Any chance I have a ruler who doesn't have the stats of a golden retriever yet?
Nice. Finally some visible expansion!
You had 2 billion in the CM game and you did feck all with it.