Go with that famous one; "Losing one soldier is a tragedy, losing 370k is only a statistic"
Gaming The Europa Universalis 4 Experiment III
- Thread starter Phil Jones Face
- Start date
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In the latest episode of the United Hour Podcast, Nik and Imran discuss a horrific month of December and a depressing FOUR defeats in a row - the latest coming against Wolves and Newcastle.
They discuss how much blame is on Ruben Amorim and rank our squad against other Premier League teams.
Do we have any chance of avoiding defeat at Anfield?
@AnotherLondonManc continues his death by a thousand cuts. The Emperor of the HRE, Ferrara, demanded Milan from Venice in it's war vs the Venetian ally Genoa.
Then Genoa was declared on by Tunis, who called in Withnail and Venice answered the call to arms. Again. You could call it luck that the Venetian's lost nothing in the Ottoman war, but there's nothing for them to lose. They're landlocked and buried in the bosom of the Alps.
@Organic Potatoes aggressive expansion eastward has brought him into conflict with the Shogunate and Shun, where he made solid gains
@The Cat - @RedSky declared war on Organic Potatoes' Brazilian colony directly, while the Russian's were fighting Shun in China. The Russian's called on their ally the United States to help them out. The U.S mustered an impressive 180k troops at one point. Unfortunately for the Russians, they kept 80k of them protecting the two American military bases atGuantanamo Bay Flyn and Lolland in Denmark. The United States peaced out ceding a sole province to Spanish Louisiana
While the majority of fighting took place in America and Brazil, Spain did send a small force into Scandinavia that was destroyed. Russia ceded the majority of colonial Russia and lost 31k in battle and 61k to attrition. The Spaniards lost 78k in battle and 50k to attrition.
While the Spanish-Russian war was ongoing, @Withnail rolled up his sleeves and decided he would join in on the fun. Organic Potatoes was on the receiving end of one of his patented sneaky attacks. Again like in the previous Russo-Turk war, the lack of defensive forts severely hampered the Russian war effort. The Ottoman zerg swarm bypassed the Russian's concentrated forces
The Russians ceded more of the steppe plains to the Turks. The Russians lost 92k on the field and 76k through attrition. The zerg swarm lost 195k to battle and 290k through attrition.
Lubeck declared war on @Andycoleno9 and they called in their ally @P-Nut to help. The war was a quick cut and thrust. Denmark ceded 3 provinces, lost his capital and P-Nut received nothing. Despite having 2x the troops of Lubeck and contributing more to the war effort.
AnotherLondonManc also ended up at war with Dr. Dwayne in his conquests against the heretic princes. Twice. In the first war, Dr. Dwayne was rather sympathetic and peaced the Venetian's out for an indemnity of 320 ducats. In the second war he was less forgiving and the Venetian's lost Trentino.
The United States declared war on Spanish Louisiana in a reconquest war after they lost a province in the Russo-Spanish war. It pitted 136k Americans vs 19k Spanish Louisianans.
The colony quickly surrendered after only 8 months. It had bigger fish to fry. Namely, bailing out New Spain's ass in its 3 simultaneous wars vs the Aztecs.
In other news:
Then Genoa was declared on by Tunis, who called in Withnail and Venice answered the call to arms. Again. You could call it luck that the Venetian's lost nothing in the Ottoman war, but there's nothing for them to lose. They're landlocked and buried in the bosom of the Alps.
@Organic Potatoes aggressive expansion eastward has brought him into conflict with the Shogunate and Shun, where he made solid gains
@The Cat - @RedSky declared war on Organic Potatoes' Brazilian colony directly, while the Russian's were fighting Shun in China. The Russian's called on their ally the United States to help them out. The U.S mustered an impressive 180k troops at one point. Unfortunately for the Russians, they kept 80k of them protecting the two American military bases at
While the majority of fighting took place in America and Brazil, Spain did send a small force into Scandinavia that was destroyed. Russia ceded the majority of colonial Russia and lost 31k in battle and 61k to attrition. The Spaniards lost 78k in battle and 50k to attrition.
While the Spanish-Russian war was ongoing, @Withnail rolled up his sleeves and decided he would join in on the fun. Organic Potatoes was on the receiving end of one of his patented sneaky attacks. Again like in the previous Russo-Turk war, the lack of defensive forts severely hampered the Russian war effort. The Ottoman zerg swarm bypassed the Russian's concentrated forces
The Russians ceded more of the steppe plains to the Turks. The Russians lost 92k on the field and 76k through attrition. The zerg swarm lost 195k to battle and 290k through attrition.
Lubeck declared war on @Andycoleno9 and they called in their ally @P-Nut to help. The war was a quick cut and thrust. Denmark ceded 3 provinces, lost his capital and P-Nut received nothing. Despite having 2x the troops of Lubeck and contributing more to the war effort.
AnotherLondonManc also ended up at war with Dr. Dwayne in his conquests against the heretic princes. Twice. In the first war, Dr. Dwayne was rather sympathetic and peaced the Venetian's out for an indemnity of 320 ducats. In the second war he was less forgiving and the Venetian's lost Trentino.
The United States declared war on Spanish Louisiana in a reconquest war after they lost a province in the Russo-Spanish war. It pitted 136k Americans vs 19k Spanish Louisianans.
The colony quickly surrendered after only 8 months. It had bigger fish to fry. Namely, bailing out New Spain's ass in its 3 simultaneous wars vs the Aztecs.
In other news:
- Emperor Alfonso II of Ferrara died. He was replaced by Emperor Alfonso III of Ferrara. The HRE heretic princes still hold grudges against Dr. Dwayne, although he was slowly winning back support. Interestingly, the Ferrara line has mixed with the Austrian's and they are a cadet line of the Habsburg dynasty, so the long line of Habsburg Emperors hasn't been broken. The new Emperor doesn't seem interested in fighting the Protestants.
- Andycoleno9 lost his Cameroon colony to Nupe.
- Dr. Dwayne isn't responding well to his mid life crisis and is declaring war on more German princes, this time with the "crush the peasantry" CB. He took 12 provinces and forced more conversions to Catholicism. He also declared war on Switzerland, who the Emperor Ferrara was obligated to defend. The Emperor was forced to cede territory to the Papal States, while Venice looked on with bowl in hand. The war was a public relations disaster for Dr. Dwayne, with all 7 electors now voting for the next Ferraran candidate. And the timing couldn't have been worse, as the following year the Emperor died and a new Ferraran Emperor was ushered in.
- New Spain continues being a shit show. In their latest war they were sieged down by Matlazinca and forced to pay them an indemnity of 730 ducats. This resulted in going bankrupt three times in one year. Louisiana by contrast was getting its shit together and blobbing nicely, with The Cat-RedSky support until the U.S declared war.
- After his colonial war disrupted his African campaign last time around, maniak has resumed his war with Kongo. And lost again. He ceded his remaining provinces in Africa to Kongo.
- MadDogg ended up at war with Butuan, who bordered his colony in the East Indies, after the British ally Friesland declared war on them. Despite a positive warscore of 30%, MadDogg white peaced out rather than make any gains, leaving the spoils for Friesland. Then Friesland surrendered with a positive 30% warscore. I don't even..
- MadDogg declared war on Cebu and called harms in. MadDogg's provinces were sieged down and harms NOPE'd the feck out of the war again with a white peace. MadDogg accepted a white peace a couple years later.
- harms continued taking land from Kilwa, but doesn't share a direct land border with the Ottomans yet
- Withnail annexed Kiev
- And before the next 50 year update, I was going to do an alliance map. But there isn't much point. The only current player alliances are between MadDogg and harms and maniak and P-Nut.
The Ottoman meat grinder continues unabated
Seems like I'm going to have to take out those pesky electors next. 
1694- 250 year update
1694- 250 year update
Reminder: Skanderbeg broken, vassal stats not included. Colonial nations (namely: harms, maniak and The Cat-RedSky) will be a little stronger than the lists reflect
Development (value of provinces):
Land army size:
Navy size:
Total income:
Mana generated (i.e, how lucky you've been with your monarch spawn stats or events and how much you've spent improving your country):
Ideas chosen (provide important buffs, generated by mana):
42: harms, AnotherLondonManc, Dr. Dwayne, P-Nut, Withnail
41: The Cat-RedSky, maniak
40: MadDogg, Organic Potatoes
37: Andycoleno9
Army casualties (in combat + attrition)
Navy casualties:
Dead players:
Religious map :
Tech map (the greener you are, the more tech you've embraced and the bigger advantages you have over your neighbours):
The state of the HRE. It has passed 4 reforms:
The dynastic map:
Reminder: Skanderbeg broken, vassal stats not included. Colonial nations (namely: harms, maniak and The Cat-RedSky) will be a little stronger than the lists reflect
Development (value of provinces):
- Withnail: 3 489 (unchanged)
- Dr. Dwayne: 2 664 (+1)
- Organic Potatoes: 1 737 (-1)
- MadDogg: 1 234 (+1)
- The Cat-RedSky: 1 205 (-1)
- maniak: 1 130 (unchanged)
- harms: 1 100 (unchanged)
- P-Nut: 876 (unchanged)
- Andycoleno9: 294 (unchanged)
- AnotherLondonManc: 82 (new entry)
Land army size:
- Withnail: 378 ,000 (unchanged)
- Dr. Dwayne: 367,000 (unchanged)
- The Cat-RedSky: 232 ,000 (+1)
- MadDogg: 217,000 (+2)
- maniak: 161,000 (+2)
- P-Nut: 143,000 (+2)
- harms: 142,000 (-4)
- Organic Potatoes: 98 ,000 (-3)
- Andycoleno9: 32 ,000 (unchanged)
- AnotherLondonManc: 23 ,000 (unchanged)
Navy size:
- harms: 296 (+2)
- Withnail: 295 (-1)
- MadDogg: 142 (-1)
- The Cat-RedSky: 132 (unchanged)
- maniak: 100 (+1)
- Organic Potatoes: 69 (+1)
- Dr. Dwayne: 38 (+2)
- P-Nut: 34 (unchanged)
- Andycoleno9: 25 (-4)
Total income:
- Withnail: 550 (unchanged)
- harns: 495 (unchanged)
- Dr. Dwayne: 470 (+1)
- MadDogg: 307 (-1)
- The Cat-RedSky: 252 (unchanged)
- Organic Potatoes: 185 (+1)
- maniak: 181 (-1)
- P-Nut: 127 (unchanged)
- AnotherLondonManc: 63 (unchanged)
- Andycoleno9: 45 (unchanged)
Mana generated (i.e, how lucky you've been with your monarch spawn stats or events and how much you've spent improving your country):
- Withnail: 99989 (unchanged)
- The Cat-RedSky: 85507 (+1)
- MadDogg: 85417 (-1)
- Dr. Dwayne: 84330 (+3)
- harms: 82996 (+3)
- maniak: 82106 (-2)
- P-Nut: 81453 (+1)
- AnotherLondonManc: 79635 (-3)
- Organic Potatoes: 78135 (unchanged)
- Andycoleno9: 69762 (unchanged )
Ideas chosen (provide important buffs, generated by mana):
42: harms, AnotherLondonManc, Dr. Dwayne, P-Nut, Withnail
41: The Cat-RedSky, maniak
40: MadDogg, Organic Potatoes
37: Andycoleno9
Army casualties (in combat + attrition)
- Withnail: 4 620 877 (unchanged)
- Dr. Dwayne: 2 065 843 (+3)
- Organic Potatoes: 1 706 847 (+1)
- The Cat-RedSky: 1 634 651 (-2)
- harms: 1 627 076 (+1)
- MadDogg: 1 255 471 (-2)
- P-Nut: 1 024 348 (unchanged)
- maniak: 820 713 (+1)
- Andycoleno9: 690 090 (-1)
- AnotherLondonManc: 600 031 (unchanged)
Navy casualties:
- harms: 294 (unchanged)
- Withnail: 167 (unchanged)
- Andycoleno9: 137 (+4)
- maniak: 107 (+2)
- Organic Potatoes: 107 (-1)
- MadDogg: 92 (+2)
- AnotherLondonManc: 76 (-4)
- The Cat-RedSky: 62 (-3)
- Dr. Dwayne: 28 (unchanged)
- P-Nut: 1 (new entry)
Dead players:
- KirkDuyt (partioned by Andycoleno9 and Organic Potatoes)
SilentWitness (gobbled up by AnotherLondonManc, who is basically now Milan having lost the majority of his Venetian provinces, except he's torquoise)- Shakesy (beaten down by maniak, partioned by Dr. Dwayne, P-Nut and Withnail. Hated by everybody except for Mantua, who outlived him with their one province)
- Stobzilla (beaten down by Dr. Dwayne, PU'd and integrated by Dr. Dwayne)
- nimic (tickled by Withnail, beaten down by The Cat-RedSky, vassalised and integrated by maniak)
- PSV (PU'd by Dr. Dwayne, released by Dr. Dwayne, PU'd by Dr. Dwayne, integrated by Dr. Dwayne)
- SIlentWitness (ressurected by the Pope, preached the Gospel, crucified by AnotherLondonManc)
- WI_Red (pummelled by Withnail over and over, vassalised and offered candy by Withnail, stubbornly refused to assist Withnail, integrated by Withnail)
Religious map :
Tech map (the greener you are, the more tech you've embraced and the bigger advantages you have over your neighbours):
The state of the HRE. It has passed 4 reforms:
The dynastic map:
Not last place in Ideas: woo-hoo!
Lubeck declared war on @Andycoleno9 again. And again P-Nut joined their ally. And again Lubeck took all the spoils, despite Danish allies having provinces near the Commonwealth. Denmark then went bankrupt.
Dr. Dwayne continued his wars against the Protestant heretics. Only 18 to go!. During several wars, the Emperor of Ferrara was called in to defend the princes and was decimated. They were forced to cede 8 provinces to the Papal States. Whisper it quietly.. but.. Kingdom of God on the cards anybody? They only need to capture 2 provinces from Ferrara and core 4 and it's theirs.
Following on the Austro-Ferraran war, @AnotherLondonManc saw his opportunity to strike and attacked the Emperor. He sieged down all of Ferrara and waited patiently for the Emperor to tap out. Unfortunately for him, the tapping of his foot and repetitive sighing seems to have attracted the attention of @Dr. Dwayne, who declared war on Venice with his pants down. Dr. Dwayne and his American allies unsieged the Ferraran provinces, freeing the Emperor then forced Venice to tap out of the war, ceding 1 province. AnotherLondonManc was left with one left - Novara.
Crucially however, the war with Ferrara hadn't finished. AnotherLondonManc picked himself up, dusted himself off and begun resieging the provinces again.
In the meantime, the Pope and Tunis and Withnail had declared war on Ferrara too, making his job slightly easier. Eventually Venice won out, taking another province and curiously forced the Emperor to release Genoa.
@MadDogg won a war! Celebrations on the streets of London..
.. quickly turned to riots when MadDogg lost against Aceh the following year. One step forward, two steps back.
... or three steps in fact. MadDogg's ally Friesland lost what should have been an inconsequential war to Picardy. Friesland threw its hands up in the air, exhaled loudly and said "Okay, okay, I guess you'll have to take Calais then" and walked off. Calais belonged to MadDogg.
The United States declared war on the shitshow New Spain. The U.S mustered 176k troops. New Spain mustered 3k. No, that wasn't a typo. The Spanish colonists ceded 4 provinces to the U.S.
The following year, Uncle Sam declared on Spanish Louisiana. 6 months later, they too surrendered and were reduced to 3 provinces. Then 2 months later they declared war on Spanish Florida. Who only had 3 provinces anyway. They surrendered losing 1 province.
Then the following year, the Americans continued their march to the sea, declaring war on Pacifico Norte. You should know the drill by now. @The Cat - @RedSky lost more of their colonies.
In other news:
Dr. Dwayne continued his wars against the Protestant heretics. Only 18 to go!. During several wars, the Emperor of Ferrara was called in to defend the princes and was decimated. They were forced to cede 8 provinces to the Papal States. Whisper it quietly.. but.. Kingdom of God on the cards anybody? They only need to capture 2 provinces from Ferrara and core 4 and it's theirs.
Following on the Austro-Ferraran war, @AnotherLondonManc saw his opportunity to strike and attacked the Emperor. He sieged down all of Ferrara and waited patiently for the Emperor to tap out. Unfortunately for him, the tapping of his foot and repetitive sighing seems to have attracted the attention of @Dr. Dwayne, who declared war on Venice with his pants down. Dr. Dwayne and his American allies unsieged the Ferraran provinces, freeing the Emperor then forced Venice to tap out of the war, ceding 1 province. AnotherLondonManc was left with one left - Novara.
Crucially however, the war with Ferrara hadn't finished. AnotherLondonManc picked himself up, dusted himself off and begun resieging the provinces again.
In the meantime, the Pope and Tunis and Withnail had declared war on Ferrara too, making his job slightly easier. Eventually Venice won out, taking another province and curiously forced the Emperor to release Genoa.
@MadDogg won a war! Celebrations on the streets of London..
.. quickly turned to riots when MadDogg lost against Aceh the following year. One step forward, two steps back.
... or three steps in fact. MadDogg's ally Friesland lost what should have been an inconsequential war to Picardy. Friesland threw its hands up in the air, exhaled loudly and said "Okay, okay, I guess you'll have to take Calais then" and walked off. Calais belonged to MadDogg.
The United States declared war on the shitshow New Spain. The U.S mustered 176k troops. New Spain mustered 3k. No, that wasn't a typo. The Spanish colonists ceded 4 provinces to the U.S.
The following year, Uncle Sam declared on Spanish Louisiana. 6 months later, they too surrendered and were reduced to 3 provinces. Then 2 months later they declared war on Spanish Florida. Who only had 3 provinces anyway. They surrendered losing 1 province.
Then the following year, the Americans continued their march to the sea, declaring war on Pacifico Norte. You should know the drill by now. @The Cat - @RedSky lost more of their colonies.
In other news:
- Organic Potatoes allied Dr. Dwayne a couple months after the Russo-Turkish war
- Withnail annexed Hormuz. The peninsula is fully green now
- Despite only owning two provinces, AnotherLondonManc commands a respectable 27k army.
- Dr. Dwayne found itself at war with Emperor Ferrara multiple times. During one, he threw a hissy fit, forcing them to revoke one of the HRE reforms. Considering he wants to be the Emperor again, that he's converting the Protestants and that it takes a very long time to invoke reforms.. he's somewhat shat in his own bed there. Tunis followed suit a few years later and revoked another reform after it and Withnail declared war on Ferrara.
- New Spain continues to be a shit show. All the natives are declaring war on them.
- Spanish Australia declared war on Danish Australia and kicked them off the floating penal colony
- Unlike everybody elses colonial wars in the east Indies, harms seems to be winning his wars and is slowly expanding there
- The Cat-RedSky waded back into the Mexican shitpile and has declared war on Friesland Mexico to help out New Spain. I guess they felt their colonies needed lebensraum to the south with the United States aggressive expansion.
It's hard work being Spanish.
Early days.
We've reached the Age of Revolutions! And the birthplace is Austria!
@The Cat - @RedSky finally stopped bullying @maniak and dropped their alliance with Brittany. The French quickly swooped in and gobbled up the breakaway region, then converted from Reformed to Protestant.
USA declared war on California. It only lost one province. It would have likely been much more were it not for the fact that it was the only province that the U.S. bordered. Then it declared on New Spain again, whose territorial landmass exceeded that of their mother country The Cat-RedSky. However due to frequent warring and bankruptcies, they only had a standing army of 5k. Unsurprisingly, New Spain ceded more territory. Then they annexed Spanish Louisiana. Oof.
@Dr. Dwayne declared war on Friesland. Perhaps wisely, MadDogg abandoned his alliance and left them to their fate. The sprawling Austrian empire now extends to the coast of Holland.
@harms Argentinian colony declared war on @Andycoleno9's Chilean colony. The colony was quickly annexed.
This left the Danes with one colony - the one province, land locked Danish Louisiana. Interestingly, Andycoleno9's former colony, the United States, have now guaranteed his independence. How the tables have turned!
Unfortunately, the guarantee offer wasn't extended to Danish Lousiana. They were soon annexed by the USA.
New Spain for 200 years had been unable to seize Mexico due to their ineptitude. This left the door open for Friesland to move in and squeeze the Mexicans, which they did. The Cat-RedSky didn't like this one bit. So they decided to declare war on Friesland directly and forced them to cede their Mexican colony to New Spain. So basically.. New Spain won in the end.. right?
Dr. Dwayne started supporting French Canadian independence again and within a couple months, the Canadian's felt brave enough to declare it again. This time there would be no British or Portuguese support - it would be French Canada (155k troops) and Dr. Dwayne (384k troops) vs maniak (154k troops) and @P-Nut (177k troops). The Canadians again had a larger navy than the French and Polish combined.
The Austrians begun their war by focusing on the Swiss-French border. France hoped to keep the Austrians in check while the Poles sieged down the eastern provinces. Austria won the opening exchanges vs the French, but was forced to pivot back to the east to defend their capital. Dr. Dwayne sent P-Nut packing, destroying several armies, but then maniak would go on the offensive. Austria was caught in a vice and frequently hovered at -10% warscore. It was very touch and go. Something had to change - he couldn't fight both simultaneously.
The straw that broke the camels back however was the French storming of the Bastille mid war and the overthrow of the monarchy, replacing it with a revolutionary republic.
France was swarmed with rebels that severely depleted its manpower. It simply could not keep up with the Austrian losses and subduing royalist rebels. By the third year of the war, Poland and France were reduced to standing armies of 80k each. Austria had fully mobilised and was now on 300k.
With France in turmoil, Dr. Dwayne was able to put the Poles to the sword.
P-Nut surrendered after 6 years, with 409k battle casualties and 36k to attrition.
maniak battled on for dear life, but it was a fruitless endeavour. The Canadians begun amphibious assaults.
maniak surrendered the following month. Canada was released and the French lost 423k to battle and 75k to attrition. The Austrians lost 506k to battle and 123k to attrition.
And Canada was formed.
@The Cat - @RedSky finally stopped bullying @maniak and dropped their alliance with Brittany. The French quickly swooped in and gobbled up the breakaway region, then converted from Reformed to Protestant.
USA declared war on California. It only lost one province. It would have likely been much more were it not for the fact that it was the only province that the U.S. bordered. Then it declared on New Spain again, whose territorial landmass exceeded that of their mother country The Cat-RedSky. However due to frequent warring and bankruptcies, they only had a standing army of 5k. Unsurprisingly, New Spain ceded more territory. Then they annexed Spanish Louisiana. Oof.
@Dr. Dwayne declared war on Friesland. Perhaps wisely, MadDogg abandoned his alliance and left them to their fate. The sprawling Austrian empire now extends to the coast of Holland.
@harms Argentinian colony declared war on @Andycoleno9's Chilean colony. The colony was quickly annexed.
This left the Danes with one colony - the one province, land locked Danish Louisiana. Interestingly, Andycoleno9's former colony, the United States, have now guaranteed his independence. How the tables have turned!
Unfortunately, the guarantee offer wasn't extended to Danish Lousiana. They were soon annexed by the USA.
New Spain for 200 years had been unable to seize Mexico due to their ineptitude. This left the door open for Friesland to move in and squeeze the Mexicans, which they did. The Cat-RedSky didn't like this one bit. So they decided to declare war on Friesland directly and forced them to cede their Mexican colony to New Spain. So basically.. New Spain won in the end.. right?
Dr. Dwayne started supporting French Canadian independence again and within a couple months, the Canadian's felt brave enough to declare it again. This time there would be no British or Portuguese support - it would be French Canada (155k troops) and Dr. Dwayne (384k troops) vs maniak (154k troops) and @P-Nut (177k troops). The Canadians again had a larger navy than the French and Polish combined.
The Austrians begun their war by focusing on the Swiss-French border. France hoped to keep the Austrians in check while the Poles sieged down the eastern provinces. Austria won the opening exchanges vs the French, but was forced to pivot back to the east to defend their capital. Dr. Dwayne sent P-Nut packing, destroying several armies, but then maniak would go on the offensive. Austria was caught in a vice and frequently hovered at -10% warscore. It was very touch and go. Something had to change - he couldn't fight both simultaneously.
The straw that broke the camels back however was the French storming of the Bastille mid war and the overthrow of the monarchy, replacing it with a revolutionary republic.
France was swarmed with rebels that severely depleted its manpower. It simply could not keep up with the Austrian losses and subduing royalist rebels. By the third year of the war, Poland and France were reduced to standing armies of 80k each. Austria had fully mobilised and was now on 300k.
With France in turmoil, Dr. Dwayne was able to put the Poles to the sword.
P-Nut surrendered after 6 years, with 409k battle casualties and 36k to attrition.
maniak battled on for dear life, but it was a fruitless endeavour. The Canadians begun amphibious assaults.
maniak surrendered the following month. Canada was released and the French lost 423k to battle and 75k to attrition. The Austrians lost 506k to battle and 123k to attrition.
And Canada was formed.
The French storming of the Bastille had the knock on effect of everybodies colonies seeing an increase in liberty desire. harms and The Cat-RedSky are struggling to keep their colonies in check.
You might recall an update or two ago I said harms allied the one province Ethiopia again to wind up @Withnail. Well, it unsurprisingly has come to blows. It pitted 502k Turks against 113k Portuguese and 320k colonial troops. Wasn't able to pay much attention to this one (sorry! The Franco/Austrian war was raging).
When the Portuguese and Ottomans did fight, it appeared that the Portuguese were demolishing them if evenly numbered. But the sheer number of Turkish troops and ease of access to Africa forced harms further and further back into south Africa and harms' trade fleet was crushed by the Tunisians. I think the colonies were reluctant to fight too, which was likely because of the Dreams of Liberty event.
Eventually, harms peaced out for 850 ducats and no territorial loss. Ethiopia was annexed days later. The Portuguese lost 108k to battle and 35k to attrition. The Ottomans lost 82k to battle and 173k to attrition.
And in the middle of the Franco-Austrian war, we lost another player. Dr. Dwayne had declared war on @AnotherLondonManc a few months prior to the Canadian declaration of independence. The Austrian deployment along the Swiss border vs France was likely a stalling tactic, in order to siege the Venetian's down. When the Austrians pulled back to defend Vienna from the Commonwealth, the French poured across the alps to unsiege Venice and unfortunately, were only on the border from the Venetian lands when AnotherLondonManc was annexed. Had the French been perhaps a week quicker in their march, they very well may have saved the Venetian from occupation and their annexation. What a cruel twist of fate.
In other news:
You might recall an update or two ago I said harms allied the one province Ethiopia again to wind up @Withnail. Well, it unsurprisingly has come to blows. It pitted 502k Turks against 113k Portuguese and 320k colonial troops. Wasn't able to pay much attention to this one (sorry! The Franco/Austrian war was raging).
When the Portuguese and Ottomans did fight, it appeared that the Portuguese were demolishing them if evenly numbered. But the sheer number of Turkish troops and ease of access to Africa forced harms further and further back into south Africa and harms' trade fleet was crushed by the Tunisians. I think the colonies were reluctant to fight too, which was likely because of the Dreams of Liberty event.
Eventually, harms peaced out for 850 ducats and no territorial loss. Ethiopia was annexed days later. The Portuguese lost 108k to battle and 35k to attrition. The Ottomans lost 82k to battle and 173k to attrition.
And in the middle of the Franco-Austrian war, we lost another player. Dr. Dwayne had declared war on @AnotherLondonManc a few months prior to the Canadian declaration of independence. The Austrian deployment along the Swiss border vs France was likely a stalling tactic, in order to siege the Venetian's down. When the Austrians pulled back to defend Vienna from the Commonwealth, the French poured across the alps to unsiege Venice and unfortunately, were only on the border from the Venetian lands when AnotherLondonManc was annexed. Had the French been perhaps a week quicker in their march, they very well may have saved the Venetian from occupation and their annexation. What a cruel twist of fate.
In other news:
- MadDogg declared war on and annexed Samoa. He took no risks, sending 33k redcoats to subdue the natives. He seized Tapei from Shun
- harms continues to annex the interior African tribes
- The Emperor of Ferrara died. And the Emperor of Ferr.. oh wait. No, it can't be. Emperor Dr. Dwayne is back as Emperor of the HRE!
Ungrateful canadians...
This could hardly be going any better
This could hardly be going any better
Hehehe.
USA declared war on California and Pacifico Norte.
They also declared war on @harms Caribbean colony. The terms were fairly lenient, with them only losing the Bahamas.
@MadDogg won a war!
And lost the territories 15 years later. Classic MadDogg.
A year after peacing out vs the Austrians, @P-Nut found himself the victim of a declaration of war by @Withnail. The Commonwealth, who have remained steadfastly loyal to their allies through the centuries, called upon @maniak to honour their alliance. The French turned their backs on the Poles and left them to their fate. 137k Poles would face off against 623k Turks alone.
While the Commonwealth was fighting for its life vs the Ottomans, @Dr. Dwayne declared war on P-Nut's ally Brunswick. The ever loyal P-Nut answered the Brunswick call to arms. Austria called in his ally @Organic Potatoes. P-Nut would now fight on 3 fronts. The Polish partiion was real.
The Commonwealth lost more territory in the Austro-Brunswick war and it surrendered 4 months later to the Turks, with the Commonwealth dissected in two. 139k Poles lay dead on the field, with a further 31k to attrition. The Turkish horde lost 136k in battle and 416k to attrition.
14 months later, Dr. Dwayne declared war on Lubeck and called in Organic Potatoes. Lubeck was allied to the Commonwealth and the sadomasochist P-Nut answered the call to arms. More partion!
With the Polish-Ottoman war ongoing, The @The Cat - @RedSky took it upon themselves to crush revolutionary France before it spread to their lands. P-Nut battle-pocked face managed to form a wry smile at maniak's karma, while he drowned in his own blood. The war pitted 313k Spaniards vs 142k Frenchmen - with revolutionary France having no reserves to call upon. They would live or die with this army.
The war started out poorly for France. An expeditition across the Pyrenees was flanked and routed by the Spaniards.
The Cat-RedSky made deep forays into France. The newly installed Consul Napoleon called upon their troops to defend their motherland with ferocity.
A series of French victories crushed the Spaniards, reducing the respective army strengths to 117k and 187k each and reversed the early Spanish gains.
Soon, maniak pushed The-Cat RedSky out of France and begun an invasion of Spain in earnest. The shellshocked Spaniards couldn't match the French élan. What drove these revolutionary devils on? One defeat followed another and before long, Spain was entirely sieged down.
The now Emperor Napoleon inflicted harsh terms upon the Spaniards, who were forced to release several revolutionary countries which spreads the revolutionary fervor further. France ended the war with 221k battle casualties and 164k to attrition. The Spaniards lost 385k in battle and 296k to attrition. The revolution lives on, comrades!
Austria was the birthplace of the revolution and Dr. Dwayne was unable to contain fervor. Austria has now become a revolutionary republic and has abandoned all its previous alliances.
Withnail declared war on Organic Potatoes because reasons. 696k Turks faced off against 166k Russians. Organic Potatoes ceded great swathes of land, including his capital Moskva. The Ottomans lost 109k to battle and 537k to negligence. Russia lost 272k to battle and 63k to attrition.
After losing the Franco-Spanish war, The Cat-RedSky begun supporting the independence of harm's Colombian colony and allied Kilwa, because if he can't have a colonial empire, nobody can, right? Colombia soon declared independence. The Cat-RedSky's friendship with harms is truly over. I don't think the Spaniards are reacting to their crumbling empire well. The independence war pits harms, his remaining colonies and MadDogg against The Cat-RedSky and their "colonies". Not including colonial troops, 209k Spaniards face off against 158k Portuguese and 262k British. harms had a clear naval advantage with 402 ships to The Cat-RedSky's *checks notes* 68.
The British did little to support their long time Portuguese ally (I don't think it's been broken for 300 years!) and Portugal was carpet sieged down by their friendly neighbour turned foe.
Portuguese was forced to release two colonial nations - a huge blow to its prestige, but kept its homeland. harms and his colonies lost 240k troops to battle and 50k to attrition. The Cat-RedSky lost 85k to battle and 50k to attrition. MadDogg, cheering harms on from the sidelines, lost 6k to battle and 9k to attrition.
In other news:
The next 50 year update in 1744 will be the penultimate one before the game ends in 1821.
They also declared war on @harms Caribbean colony. The terms were fairly lenient, with them only losing the Bahamas.
@MadDogg won a war!
And lost the territories 15 years later. Classic MadDogg.
A year after peacing out vs the Austrians, @P-Nut found himself the victim of a declaration of war by @Withnail. The Commonwealth, who have remained steadfastly loyal to their allies through the centuries, called upon @maniak to honour their alliance. The French turned their backs on the Poles and left them to their fate. 137k Poles would face off against 623k Turks alone.
While the Commonwealth was fighting for its life vs the Ottomans, @Dr. Dwayne declared war on P-Nut's ally Brunswick. The ever loyal P-Nut answered the Brunswick call to arms. Austria called in his ally @Organic Potatoes. P-Nut would now fight on 3 fronts. The Polish partiion was real.
The Commonwealth lost more territory in the Austro-Brunswick war and it surrendered 4 months later to the Turks, with the Commonwealth dissected in two. 139k Poles lay dead on the field, with a further 31k to attrition. The Turkish horde lost 136k in battle and 416k to attrition.
14 months later, Dr. Dwayne declared war on Lubeck and called in Organic Potatoes. Lubeck was allied to the Commonwealth and the sadomasochist P-Nut answered the call to arms. More partion!
With the Polish-Ottoman war ongoing, The @The Cat - @RedSky took it upon themselves to crush revolutionary France before it spread to their lands. P-Nut battle-pocked face managed to form a wry smile at maniak's karma, while he drowned in his own blood. The war pitted 313k Spaniards vs 142k Frenchmen - with revolutionary France having no reserves to call upon. They would live or die with this army.
The war started out poorly for France. An expeditition across the Pyrenees was flanked and routed by the Spaniards.
The Cat-RedSky made deep forays into France. The newly installed Consul Napoleon called upon their troops to defend their motherland with ferocity.
A series of French victories crushed the Spaniards, reducing the respective army strengths to 117k and 187k each and reversed the early Spanish gains.
Soon, maniak pushed The-Cat RedSky out of France and begun an invasion of Spain in earnest. The shellshocked Spaniards couldn't match the French élan. What drove these revolutionary devils on? One defeat followed another and before long, Spain was entirely sieged down.
The now Emperor Napoleon inflicted harsh terms upon the Spaniards, who were forced to release several revolutionary countries which spreads the revolutionary fervor further. France ended the war with 221k battle casualties and 164k to attrition. The Spaniards lost 385k in battle and 296k to attrition. The revolution lives on, comrades!
Austria was the birthplace of the revolution and Dr. Dwayne was unable to contain fervor. Austria has now become a revolutionary republic and has abandoned all its previous alliances.
Withnail declared war on Organic Potatoes because reasons. 696k Turks faced off against 166k Russians. Organic Potatoes ceded great swathes of land, including his capital Moskva. The Ottomans lost 109k to battle and 537k to negligence. Russia lost 272k to battle and 63k to attrition.
After losing the Franco-Spanish war, The Cat-RedSky begun supporting the independence of harm's Colombian colony and allied Kilwa, because if he can't have a colonial empire, nobody can, right? Colombia soon declared independence. The Cat-RedSky's friendship with harms is truly over. I don't think the Spaniards are reacting to their crumbling empire well. The independence war pits harms, his remaining colonies and MadDogg against The Cat-RedSky and their "colonies". Not including colonial troops, 209k Spaniards face off against 158k Portuguese and 262k British. harms had a clear naval advantage with 402 ships to The Cat-RedSky's *checks notes* 68.
The British did little to support their long time Portuguese ally (I don't think it's been broken for 300 years!) and Portugal was carpet sieged down by their friendly neighbour turned foe.
Portuguese was forced to release two colonial nations - a huge blow to its prestige, but kept its homeland. harms and his colonies lost 240k troops to battle and 50k to attrition. The Cat-RedSky lost 85k to battle and 50k to attrition. MadDogg, cheering harms on from the sidelines, lost 6k to battle and 9k to attrition.
In other news:
- Dr. Dwayne lost the Emperor title to Picardy.
- Andycoleno9 has allied the USA
- P-Nut forgave maniak and allied him again
- USA announced something but I sort of clicked through it unattentively. It's probably bad news for The Cat-RedSky
The next 50 year update in 1744 will be the penultimate one before the game ends in 1821.
537k lost to negligence... A new low
Oh, the turks are not the casualties. You send in the Hungarians. None of us left now
5 colonies run away, Sweden run away....starting to think that this is maybe "it is me, not you" thing.
Well that was an unfortunate time to lose Dr. Dwayne to revolutionary fervor.
Jesus christ! Knew I hated the commonwealth it's all gone badly since we created that!
Spain can feck off. Enemies for life now.
Deaaaaath.
1744- 300 year update
1744- 300 year update
Reminder: Skanderbeg broken, vassal stats not included. Colonial nations (namely: harms and The Cat-RedSky) will be a little stronger than the lists reflect
Development (value of provinces):
Land army size:
Navy size:
Total income:
Mana generated (i.e, how lucky you've been with your monarch spawn stats or events and how much you've spent improving your country):
Ideas chosen (provide important buffs, generated by mana):
49: harms, Withnail, P-Nut
48: maniak, Dr. Dwayne
47: MadDogg, The Cat-RedSky
45: Andycoleno9
44: Organic Potatoes
Army casualties (in combat + attrition)
Navy casualties:
Dead players:
Religious map :
Tech map (the greener you are, the more tech you've embraced and the bigger advantages you have over your neighbours):
The state of the HRE. It has passed 2 reforms:
The dynastic map:
Reminder: Skanderbeg broken, vassal stats not included. Colonial nations (namely: harms and The Cat-RedSky) will be a little stronger than the lists reflect
Development (value of provinces):
- Dr. Dwayne: 3 920 (+1)
- Withnail: 3 877 (-1)
- Organic Potatoes: 2 032 (unchanged)
- harms: 1 503 (+3)
- MadDogg: 1 423 (-1)
- maniak: 1 347 (unchanged)
- The Cat-RedSky: 976 (-2)
- P-Nut: 541 (unchanged)
- Andycoleno9: 267 (unchanged)
Land army size:
- Dr. Dwayne: 699,00 (+1)
- Withnail: 531,000 (-1)
- MadDogg: 242,000 (+1)
- The Cat-RedSky: 221,000 (-1)
- maniak: 213,000 (unchanged)
- Organic Potatoes: 111,000 (+2)
- P-Nut: 94 ,000 (-1)
- harms: 57 ,000 (-1)
- Andycoleno9: 56 ,000 (unchanged)
Navy size:
- harms: 414 (unchanged)
- Withnail: 285 (unchanged)
- Organic Potatoes: 137 (+3)
- MadDogg: 96 (-1)
- maniak: 95 (unchanged)
- Dr. Dwayne: 88 (+1)
- Andycoleno9: 44 (+1)
- The Cat-RedSky: 41 (-4)
- P-Nut: 19 (-1)
Total income:
- Dr. Dwayne: 967 (+2)
- Withnail: 724 (-1)
- MadDogg: 376 (+1)
- maniak: 235 (+3)
- The Cat-RedSky: 216 (unchanged)
- P-Nut: 103 (+2)
- Organic Potatoes: 92 (-2)
- Andycoleno9: 74 (+2)
- harms: 55 (-7)
Mana generated (i.e, how lucky you've been with your monarch spawn stats or events and how much you've spent improving your country):
- Withnail: 121737 (unchanged)
- Dr. Dwayne: 106541 (+2)
- harms: 103384 (+2)
- MadDogg: 102083 (+1)
- maniak: 99846 (+1)
- The Cat-RedSky: 99607 (-4)
- P-Nut: 98898 (unchanged)
- Organic Potatoes: 92484 (+1)
- Andycoleno9: 80023 (+1)
Ideas chosen (provide important buffs, generated by mana):
49: harms, Withnail, P-Nut
48: maniak, Dr. Dwayne
47: MadDogg, The Cat-RedSky
45: Andycoleno9
44: Organic Potatoes
Army casualties (in combat + attrition)
- Withnail: 6 589 666 (unchanged)
- Dr. Dwayne: 4 518 047 (unchanged)
- The Cat-RedSky: 2 712 179 (+1)
- harms: 2 689 166 (+1)
- Organic Potatoes: 2 139 807 (-2)
- P-Nut: 1 914 449 (+1)
- maniak: 1 897 987 (+1)
- MadDogg: 1 447 589 (-2)
- Andycoleno9: 784 034 (unchanged)
Navy casualties:
- harms: 518 (unchanged)
- The Cat-RedSky: 349 (+6)
- Withnail: 302 (-1)
- Organic Potatoes: 228 (+1)
- maniak: 226 (-1)
- Andycoleno9: 158 (-3)
- MadDogg: 157 (-1)
- Dr. Dwayne: 124 (+1)
- P-Nut: 61 (+1)
Dead players:
- KirkDuyt (partioned by Andycoleno9 and Organic Potatoes)
SilentWitness (gobbled up by AnotherLondonManc, who is basically now Milan having lost the majority of his Venetian provinces, except he's torquoise)- Shakesy (beaten down by maniak, partioned by Dr. Dwayne, P-Nut and Withnail. Hated by everybody except for Mantua, who outlived him with their one province)
- Stobzilla (beaten down by Dr. Dwayne, PU'd and integrated by Dr. Dwayne)
- nimic (tickled by Withnail, beaten down by The Cat-RedSky, vassalised and integrated by maniak)
- PSV (PU'd by Dr. Dwayne, released by Dr. Dwayne, PU'd by Dr. Dwayne, integrated by Dr. Dwayne)
- SIlentWitness (ressurected by the Pope, preached the Gospel, crucified by AnotherLondonManc)
- WI_Red (pummelled by Withnail over and over, vassalised and offered candy by Withnail, stubbornly refused to assist Withnail, integrated by Withnail
- AnotherLondonManc (bullied by Withnail, maniak, Dr. Dwayne, Ferrara and the Battle Pope, given the coup de grace by Dr. Dwayne)
Religious map :
Tech map (the greener you are, the more tech you've embraced and the bigger advantages you have over your neighbours):
The state of the HRE. It has passed 2 reforms:
The dynastic map:
So here's the thing.... I'm in the midst of a fantastic Aragon campaign where the RNG has been realllly kind to me. By 1518 I have Portugal and Castile under PU and both have taken exploration and expansion. I'm locking down the Med while they are running rampant in the new world and Africa. Then disaster, the heir to my 46 yo queen dies suddenly and I have no heir. Then this uh....totally not suspicious heir "shows up" right as the reformation kicks off. I think the RNG bill is coming due.
So here's the thing.... I'm in the midst of a fantastic Aragon campaign where the RNG has been realllly kind to me. By 1518 I have Portugal and Castile under PU and both have taken exploration and expansion. I'm locking down the Med while they are running rampant in the new world and Africa. Then disaster, the heir to my 46 yo queen dies suddenly and I have no heir. Then this uh....totally not suspicious heir "shows up" right as the reformation kicks off. I think the RNG bill is coming due.
How many save scums did that take?
I once had a multiplayer game where as France I ended up with both Castille and England PU'd through RNG. I couldn't explain it away to the rest of the lobby, so I ended up with half of Europe taking me down a peg. Or three.
How many save scums did that take?
I once had a multiplayer game where as France I ended up with both Castille and England PU'd through RNG. I couldn't explain it away to the rest of the lobby, so I ended up with half of Europe taking me down a peg. Or three.
Just one for the PU’s. The IW hit in 1451, way too early as it takes Castile forever to get to Adm 5. After the reload the Castilian king replaced Isabelle with a boy and I was all set!
For the devil of an heir? None as I was pissing myself worried about Austria having a PU claim on me if my queen kicked the bucket and my Legitimacy was not high enough to get an heir manually.
Revolutionary zeal has really set everybody on edge. Long standing friendships shattered, alliances broken, empires dismantled. And now it's time for the war we've all been waiting for.
Round 2 of @Dr. Dwayne vs. @Withnail. The last time these two behemoths clashed was outside the walls of Vienna in 1550, as the Ottoman horde attempted enslave Christendom. The Turks were halted and pushed all the way back to Constantinople. Now it is the the Austrians who are on the offensive, wishing to spread the revolution to the long term rival. Dr. Dwayne started the war with 717k troops and 400k reserves. The Ottomans begun with 620k troops and 76k reserves.
Withnail had spent the intervening 200 years preparing wisely. All throughout the Balkans he had built a string of of the most advanced forts of the age to slow down the Austrian advance. Slowly Dr. Dwayne made his way through the maze of defences to reach the soft underbelly of Greece and Romania. In contrast, the Turks opted for their tried and tested tactic of zerg rushing and overwhelming with numbers. It worked when the Austrians accepted battle with smaller detachments.
But by and large, the Austrians cut through them like a knife through butter. They took smaller, more frequent battles. For every 1 Ottoman victory, the Austrians could boast 9, such was their dominance.
Withnail saw the futility of the war and surrendered. The Austrians lost 466k in battle and 664k to attrition. The Ottomans lost 1,050,000 (!) in battle and and a further 424k ato attrition. These guys are losing more in one war than some players have lost in the entire game!
Organic Potatoes, a non combatant but frequent sufferer at the hands of Withnail was rewarded with land.
P-Nut, also a non combatant and also a frequent sufferer, received nothing.
@The Cat - @RedSky, not content with dismantling their former friends colonial empire, decided to declare war ony Peru and took land under @harms' nose. Sneaky sneaky. We haven't seen this level of betrayal since Tevez left for City.
Their new mantra is "if you can't defend your own colonial empire, steal somebody elses".
Dr. Dwayne declared war on Brunswick again. @P-Nut accepted the call to arms, sighed and bent over. The Commonwealth was divided into 4 parts. Why? Because reasons.
@Organic Potatoes declared war on the Ming in China and it backfired spectacularly. It's onlySpurs the Ming, man.
The Cat-RedSky attacked and vassalised their former provinces in Catalonia
The Cat-RedSky, with Colombia and Canada, instigated the harms colony in the Caribbean to declaring an independence war. Facing them was MadDogg and harms. 126k Portuguese and "317k British" would battle 191k Spaniards, 224k Canadians and 172k Colombians. The war followed the same format as harms' previous South American colonial war - the Spanish rushed down Portugal and MadDogg offered threatening words from the sidelines. The Cat-RedSky peaced out prematurely, taking some Portuguese provinces.
Caraibas gained its independence a year later.
Revolutionary Dr. Dwayne declared war on their revolutionary brothers @maniak with a "annex revolutionary state" CB. It's a dog eat dog world out there! 558k Austrians faced 256k Frenchmen and 98k Poles after P-Nut picked himself up off the ground, accepted the call to arms and bent over again. P-Nut surrendered within 10 months.
The French strategy was centered around the tenet of "run away". They fled across the border into Spain to avoid the Austrians.
In the one major battle that they did offer, they lost decisively, rolled over and had their tummy tickled. Dr. Dwayne is starting to remind me of another famous Austrian.. but I can't quite put my finger on it.
85k Frenchmen died on the field and 17k to attrition. Austria lost 58k to battle and 136k to attrition.
In other news:
Round 2 of @Dr. Dwayne vs. @Withnail. The last time these two behemoths clashed was outside the walls of Vienna in 1550, as the Ottoman horde attempted enslave Christendom. The Turks were halted and pushed all the way back to Constantinople. Now it is the the Austrians who are on the offensive, wishing to spread the revolution to the long term rival. Dr. Dwayne started the war with 717k troops and 400k reserves. The Ottomans begun with 620k troops and 76k reserves.
Withnail had spent the intervening 200 years preparing wisely. All throughout the Balkans he had built a string of of the most advanced forts of the age to slow down the Austrian advance. Slowly Dr. Dwayne made his way through the maze of defences to reach the soft underbelly of Greece and Romania. In contrast, the Turks opted for their tried and tested tactic of zerg rushing and overwhelming with numbers. It worked when the Austrians accepted battle with smaller detachments.
But by and large, the Austrians cut through them like a knife through butter. They took smaller, more frequent battles. For every 1 Ottoman victory, the Austrians could boast 9, such was their dominance.
Withnail saw the futility of the war and surrendered. The Austrians lost 466k in battle and 664k to attrition. The Ottomans lost 1,050,000 (!) in battle and and a further 424k ato attrition. These guys are losing more in one war than some players have lost in the entire game!
Organic Potatoes, a non combatant but frequent sufferer at the hands of Withnail was rewarded with land.
P-Nut, also a non combatant and also a frequent sufferer, received nothing.
@The Cat - @RedSky, not content with dismantling their former friends colonial empire, decided to declare war ony Peru and took land under @harms' nose. Sneaky sneaky. We haven't seen this level of betrayal since Tevez left for City.
Their new mantra is "if you can't defend your own colonial empire, steal somebody elses".
Dr. Dwayne declared war on Brunswick again. @P-Nut accepted the call to arms, sighed and bent over. The Commonwealth was divided into 4 parts. Why? Because reasons.
@Organic Potatoes declared war on the Ming in China and it backfired spectacularly. It's only
The Cat-RedSky attacked and vassalised their former provinces in Catalonia
The Cat-RedSky, with Colombia and Canada, instigated the harms colony in the Caribbean to declaring an independence war. Facing them was MadDogg and harms. 126k Portuguese and "317k British" would battle 191k Spaniards, 224k Canadians and 172k Colombians. The war followed the same format as harms' previous South American colonial war - the Spanish rushed down Portugal and MadDogg offered threatening words from the sidelines. The Cat-RedSky peaced out prematurely, taking some Portuguese provinces.
Caraibas gained its independence a year later.
Revolutionary Dr. Dwayne declared war on their revolutionary brothers @maniak with a "annex revolutionary state" CB. It's a dog eat dog world out there! 558k Austrians faced 256k Frenchmen and 98k Poles after P-Nut picked himself up off the ground, accepted the call to arms and bent over again. P-Nut surrendered within 10 months.
The French strategy was centered around the tenet of "run away". They fled across the border into Spain to avoid the Austrians.
In the one major battle that they did offer, they lost decisively, rolled over and had their tummy tickled. Dr. Dwayne is starting to remind me of another famous Austrian.. but I can't quite put my finger on it.
85k Frenchmen died on the field and 17k to attrition. Austria lost 58k to battle and 136k to attrition.
In other news:
- harms former colonies Peru and Colombia are warring each other without daddies supervision
- harm's Argentinian colony declared war on the remains of his former Peruvian colony. They're all cannabalising each other
- Dr. Dwayne is guaranteeing the independence of Organic Potatoes after his China debacle
- Organic Potatoes in turn is guaranteeing the independence of P-Nut and Andycoleno9
- Withnail is getting mass janissary revolts
- Dr. Dwayne is allied to Granada who possess The Cat-RedSky's former provinces
Good stuff.
Well, hell… I was hoping I’d somehow be doing well in east Asia to compensate.
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Ok, so what am I actually doing with all my troops? Do they just sit around at home drinking beer or something?
Sorry @harms , I swear I'll help next time
ps. I wouldn't trust me...
Sorry @harms , I swear I'll help next time
ps. I wouldn't trust me...
Hopefully you’re saving them for our grand offensive.Ok, so what am I actually doing with all my troops? Do they just sit around at home drinking beer or something?
Sorry @harms , I swear I'll help next time
ps. I wouldn't trust me...
@MadDogg has overthrown the monarchy and replaced it with a revolutionary republlic. His long standing alliance with harms (unrboken since 1444) has been ended. The revolutionary British flag is also super ugly.
He also continues losing vs natives with sticks.
@Dr. Dwayne continues exerting his dominance of over the minor Germanic states
Chastened by his loss to the Austrians, @Withnail turned his attention towards India and the great Mughal empire. 559k Turks faced off against 405k Indo-Persians.
The war was a disaster for the Padishah. His Pasha's had left the entire Caucasus front open which the Mughals poured into and exploited while the Turks made slow progress through the Iranian mountain fortresses.
Half way through the war, Dr. Dwayne intervened on the Mughal side, bringing another 850k troops to fight the Turks. Was it necessary? No, the Mughals were already in Anatolia and comfortably beating the janissaries. But Dr. Dwayne really hates the Ottomans..
The Mughals lost 316k to battle and 311k to attrition. Austria lost 37k to battle and 422k to attrition. The Ottomans lost 161k to battle and 416k to attrition.
The United States continue chasing @The Cat - @RedSky off the continent. New Spain still cannot afford an army after averaging bankruptcy at least once per year for the last 200.
Dr. Dwayne paid @maniak another visit. @P-Nut dutifully answered the call to arms bending over. I don't want to spoil the outcome, but one player had a standing army of over 1 million troops and the other had 195k.
Ah feck it,maniak lost. P-Nut was partioned further.
Colombia declared war on @harms Argentinian colony. Look what a mess you've caused The Cat-RedSky!
@Andycoleno9 continues being shunted further and further north
And a new challenger has arrived! We welcome @nimic back into the game.
And maniak vassalised him a couple years later.
And finally, in grave news that will shock us all, MadDogg has declared war on and vassalised the narrator who was chilling out peacefully in Tonga.
Narrator: "This is all wrong. I shouldn't be up here. I should be back in a hammock on the other side of the ocean. Yet you all come to us narrators for hope. How dare you!
"You have stolen my coconuts and my sandy beach with your empty words. And yet I'm one of the lucky one. maniak is suffering. P-Nut is dying. Entire colonial empires are collapsing. We are in the beginning of a mass extinction, and all you can talk about is revolution and fairy tales of New Spain winning a war. How dare you!
Will no one rid me of this turbulent priest?
In other news:
He also continues losing vs natives with sticks.
@Dr. Dwayne continues exerting his dominance of over the minor Germanic states
Chastened by his loss to the Austrians, @Withnail turned his attention towards India and the great Mughal empire. 559k Turks faced off against 405k Indo-Persians.
The war was a disaster for the Padishah. His Pasha's had left the entire Caucasus front open which the Mughals poured into and exploited while the Turks made slow progress through the Iranian mountain fortresses.
Half way through the war, Dr. Dwayne intervened on the Mughal side, bringing another 850k troops to fight the Turks. Was it necessary? No, the Mughals were already in Anatolia and comfortably beating the janissaries. But Dr. Dwayne really hates the Ottomans..
The Mughals lost 316k to battle and 311k to attrition. Austria lost 37k to battle and 422k to attrition. The Ottomans lost 161k to battle and 416k to attrition.
The United States continue chasing @The Cat - @RedSky off the continent. New Spain still cannot afford an army after averaging bankruptcy at least once per year for the last 200.
Dr. Dwayne paid @maniak another visit. @P-Nut dutifully answered the call to arms bending over. I don't want to spoil the outcome, but one player had a standing army of over 1 million troops and the other had 195k.
Ah feck it,maniak lost. P-Nut was partioned further.
Colombia declared war on @harms Argentinian colony. Look what a mess you've caused The Cat-RedSky!
@Andycoleno9 continues being shunted further and further north
And a new challenger has arrived! We welcome @nimic back into the game.
And maniak vassalised him a couple years later.
And finally, in grave news that will shock us all, MadDogg has declared war on and vassalised the narrator who was chilling out peacefully in Tonga.
Narrator: "This is all wrong. I shouldn't be up here. I should be back in a hammock on the other side of the ocean. Yet you all come to us narrators for hope. How dare you!
"You have stolen my coconuts and my sandy beach with your empty words. And yet I'm one of the lucky one. maniak is suffering. P-Nut is dying. Entire colonial empires are collapsing. We are in the beginning of a mass extinction, and all you can talk about is revolution and fairy tales of New Spain winning a war. How dare you!
Will no one rid me of this turbulent priest?
In other news:
- Revolutionary MadDogg has allied revolutionary Leon, the breakaway Spanish provinces and Dr. Dwayne, the big blob.
- The Cat-RedSky lost their territorial gains in Peru
- P-Nut sent Withnail gold in his war vs the Mughals. I think the repeated beatings have caused him brain damage
- The Cat-RedSky annexed Catalonia diplomatically
- MadDogg had the brilliant idea of spreading the revolution to Siberia. So he declared war on Organic Potatoes. What was he going to do, shout hurty words at him from the safety of the Baltic sea? Narrator: that is exactly what he did. After 6 years, 0 land battles, 25k dead British to attrition and 58 sunk Russian ships, they shook hands and called it a draw
- maniak is supporting the independence of The Cat-RedSky's Australian colony
- The Cat-RedSky are getting revolutionary uprisings.
And a new challenger has arrived! We welcome @nimic back into the game.
And maniak vassalised him a couple years later.
Don't worry. I'm sure I'll lose it again in a few years.And finally, in grave news that will shock us all, MadDogg has declared war on and vassalised the narrator who was chilling out peacefully in Tonga.
Narrator: "This is all wrong. I shouldn't be up here. I should be back in a hammock on the other side of the ocean. Yet you all come to us narrators for hope. How dare you!
"You have stolen my coconuts and my sandy beach with your empty words. And yet I'm one of the lucky one. maniak is suffering. P-Nut is dying. Entire colonial empires are collapsing. We are in the beginning of a mass extinction, and all you can talk about is revolution and fairy tales of New Spain winning a war. How dare you!
Will no one rid me of this turbulent priest?