Richard Keys: The Ramblings of a Madman

Hang on, isn't Keys living in Qatar now... What's the punishment for male adulterers over there? I don't think anyone would have a problem with him getting 50 lashes in the town square would they?
 
ArmandTamzarian said:
Hang on, isn't Keys living in Qatar now... What's the punishment for male adulterers over there? I don't think anyone would have a problem with him getting 50 lashes in the town square would they?
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Keysy on the LASH!
 
Randy Rich defends Sam, Rooney, Al Capone, Genghis Khan etc etc:
Keys said:
I can tell you, without fear of contradiction, that in the games he's played for United this season his manager has had him perform in a combined 12 different positions - shifting him forwards, back and sideways. Twelve! Rooney has adapted without complaint done what he's been asked, all for the good of the team.
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Keys said:
Now, The Telegraph might yet reveal something far juicier, but in the meantime, why all the hysteria? Gary Lineker wants the Police called in to investigate. Perhaps that's not a bad idea, but how far back do we go? Do we investigate everything from the early 80's when all our top talent was going to play in Spain and Italy? Those guys invented the brown envelope.
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http://www.richardajkeys.com/index.php/blog/item/much-ado-about-something
http://www.richardajkeys.com/index.php/blog/item/west-ham-and-rooney-get-hammered
 
:lol:
Richard Keys said:
I'm a big fan of Hodgson's - as most people know. I believe he's an honourable, decent man. I believed he had a backbone. That he was his own man. That he could make big decisions. I was wrong in nearly all of that.
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I don't tend to read much of his stuff but it reads like some Private Eye parody of jobs for the boys, old pas act stuff. It's so nauseating to read his protection of fat-cat wrong-doers but question well-intentioned investigative journalism. He's so paid up to the industry that he can't see how repugnant his self-satisfied views are. It's like reading the Daily Mail for footy fans. Yuk.
 
"Some people say I've been shagging around behind my cancer-riddled wife's back (not literally, as I wouldn't have needed to stray in that case hahahaha) with a friend of my daughter but who here hasn't made a mistake? I mean, there was a typo in 34 down in the Telegraph Cryptic Crossword yesterday morning BUT NO ONE IS TALKING ABOUT THAT, ARE THEY? Makes you wonder, doesn't it?"
 
sugar_kane said:
Twelve positions... that's some achievement, especially considering we've only played 11 games this season.

Does he consider the various seats on the bench different positions?
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doesn't even compute WHY he was being moved from his 'starting position' every time
 
Ah Richard Keys - clearly a SYNT of the highest order. But a little part of me can't hate him because he used to be a commentator pre-Sky and he commentated on the highlights of the Man Utd v Arsenal game in August 1989 (Michael Knighton kick-ups) which was my first game at Old Trafford, and every now and again I watch the highlights and his voice always reminds me of that day. Still, the end of a bell he certainly is.
 
There's a lot of people like him still active in football and souring the whole industry. Can't stand some of the dinosaurs who still play a large role.
 
I'm astonished he still makings a living from the game. He has the epitome of a punchable face and a personality to match it.

Richard-Keys-Commentator-Voice-Artist.jpg

LOOK AT IT!
 
sugar_kane said:
Twelve positions... that's some achievement, especially considering we've only played 11 games this season.

Does he consider the various seats on the bench different positions?
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I'd say it's an even bigger achievement, seeing that there's only 11 positions on the pitch.
 
mintsnake4 said:
Football Manager enthusiasts prepare to fire.
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:lol:

I knew somebody would be triggered.

Keys is a shite. People only look back fondly on Keys and Gray because the terrestrial channels had such appalling people on their coverage.
 
I read the mail article on the affair story and there is a post script stating that Mrs Keys is no longer seeking divorce as she is convinced that there was no affair and he cancer is stable. I am not a Keys defender but I do like a lynching to be fact based...
 
Bill.s.preston said:
:lol:

I knew somebody would be triggered.

Keys is a shite. People only look back fondly on Keys and Gray because the terrestrial channels had such appalling people on their coverage.
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Whoa now, give me Brian Moore, Barry Davies, Kevin Keegan, Big Racist Ron and Red Clive over those two feckers any day.
 
Loose Women latest:

Keys just took a verbal kicking from the wife he swapped for his daughter's friend. What a rotten gonk he is.
 
I can't believe you or anyone actually follows all those brain-fart shows Steve.
 
One of the best things Sky did was to sack that pair of jokers, Keys and Gray. The guy who took Keys' job us happy not being the star and the programme is better for it. I used to like Gray but looking back most of his comments were becoming tired and old. If I'd had their fantastic jobs, I'd have made damn certain not to feck it up
 
Fresh from touting Roberto Martinez for the United job, our humble hero relates how he won the European Cup:
Richard Keys said:
Alan Kennedy scored. The stadium - as usual it was dominated by Reds - erupted. I set off for the dressing rooms to get the post match interviews.

The next thing I knew I had a rifle tip up my nose. The local Police weren’t prepared for an intruder in the dressing room area armed with a tape recorder. He was going to win any showdown that was going to occur!

Before I knew it the whistle had gone and I was dragged into Liverpool’s dressing room by Ray Clemence. There I sat - bewitched by what I was absorbing. ‘We’ had won the European Cup. I say ‘we’ because I was part of it all. I’d never been as close to anything like it - before or since. I got some top stuff. But what was wrong with Clem? He was so subdued. As it turned out he’d played his last game for Liverpool and I spent most of that summer trying to help organise him a move.
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https://www.richardajkeys.com/index.php/blog/item/oh-what-a-night-1981-and-all-that
 
Keys said:
Thank goodness Chelsea got the result they deserved at Newcastle. I read the Newcastle Chronicle have announced they won’t run quotes from me or Andy anymore. That’s good. I don’t recall asking you to. Can we make it a lifetime ban guys? If you were to quote me try this ‘the way Benitez sent his team out was a disgrace. Wolves, newly promoted, had a go at a much better team than Chelsea and were rewarded for doing so. Benitez is playing politics. It will re-bound on him’. There we are - I’m not going to bother adding anything else.
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