Edgar Allan Pillow
Ero-Sennin
The Heaven in Hinduism is a heaven where Gods indulge, full of excess, it is no place of moral superiority as such. It has fairies dancing, overflowing food, and all that. If you go on to a Hindu and say, hey your certain God committed so many horrors (which they will have), what do you have to say to that? He will probably reply, I have never said my God is the epitome of goodness. I am not sure if death and afterlife in Heaven is a part of Hindu mandate.
Regarding your second question, can we find God ourselves. That is a bit complicated. Both in Hinduism and Buddhism. For Hindus and Buddhists, our existence in this world is a major cause of distress. They believe in reincarnation, and believe that no matter how many times we die, we will come back to live again. This cycle of life is called as "Karmic Chakra". Salvation resides in freeing oneself from this cycle. It is the realization that body is perishable and subject to earthly "Moha" or temptations and salvation is just acceptance of soul as supreme and rejections of all worldly temptations. Therefore, in these religions, anyone can achieve salvation, Hindu/Buddhist, agnostic, atheist, anyone.
Hinduism is more like a set of belief's rather than a definite set of rules. It does not mandate that everyone must live by those rules, but if you live by those rules you get 'moksha' or simply, go to heaven. The concept of 'excesses' that you say is not anyway different from popular concept of heaven. I kind of like your analogy to the Greeks, but there are significant variations. The gods in Hinduism are not be all and end all. They are still capable of making mistakes and there are numerous stories of gods being punished by bigger gods to teach them lessons.
The parts I highlight contradict each other too. No hindu will 'explain' on why their god has multiple wives or such. You just have to take it with a pinch of reality as various avatars of the same god have different characters (Rama vs Krishna). It does not mean that Krishna was a bad god whereas Rama was not.