RAWK Goes Into Meltdown 2015-16 Edition

two wrongs seem to be a right when the clearness of penalties is considered

Remember a few years ago Gerrard was awarded a pen v Sunderland when there was minimal contact, and in fact Gerrard didn't even go to ground. But that slight touch back then put him off his stride and affected the strike on goal, so rightly a pen was awarded. Yesterday's was a clearer pen than that even.
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I also like the 'even' - so much more convincing with that attached on the end
 
But here's a nice one, tbf


See for me, Pardew can't even throw his coat away properly.

If you look at how the professionals do it he has has made three basic and unavoidable errors.
  • Firstly his choice of garment is all wrong, a large heavy overcoat simply has the wrong aerodynamics to be hurled in rage. Unless you roll it into a tighter ball it is always going to flop about rather than following a well formed trajectory as it hurtles towards the terrified substitutes. By contrast the gilet has a smaller surface area and lower drag coefficient. The lack of mass is easy countered by the pros with a couple of packs of extra strong mints and the keys to your Dad's Transit van.
  • Secondly, Pardew's effort you will see hits neither the seat or the ground, its like he was going to throw it on the floor but at the last minute changes his mind to go for the seat - remembering, perhaps, in the midst of his outrage that this cashmere number cost about two and a half grand. Its a bit like taking a pen really, pick your spot and stick to it.
  • Thirdly Pardew seems to think that his work is done once the garment has been slung. He returns to his seat, retreating in the realisation of imminent defeat. A better move is to follow through, using your momentum to pull off a 180 degree turn. Facing the officials you are then ready to deliver the first salvo of abuse directly at those who have wronged you. The gilet of course comes into its own again as the lack of sleevage allows this to take place in a single uninterupted movement.
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RAWK said:
Oscar Wilde once wrote, ‘If you’re tired of seeing Liverpool beat Man Utd, you are tired of life’. Wise words indeed.

Such is the intense rivalry between us, when I sat down to write the OP for this match I realised that we’ve already had a thread running since the draw was made. That was just over a week ago and it’s up to 12 pages as I write. If you trawl through the mumblings, grumblings and defiant optimism, a familiar train of thought comes to the fore.

“Let’s twat these twats”.
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:lol:

Liverpool v United Match Preview:
http://www.redandwhitekop.com/forum/index.php?topic=326520.0
 
Coutinho catches RAWK Fever:

Before the interview finished, Coutinho was asked what he felt when he was excluded from the Brazil World Cup squad: “Anger. Not because I’m selfish, but because I could have offered something."

"I’m going to use this anger and push myself to my limits. I saw how Luisito (Suárez) was a maniac in training. At this point, my body and mind feel like clay. I will mold it the way I envision, and I will use my fire to make them harder.”

(Liverpool Echo)
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RAWK said:
Newcastle fans against Rafa deserved to be sentenced to community service immediately
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...
 
Johnno has posted. He gave them his congratulations and hopes, if they get through, as he believes they will, they win the tournament.
 
Johnno said:
Congratulations to Liverpool - now go on and win it. Withstood whatever was thrown at them tonight - which wasn't an awful lot to tell the truth but you can only play against who's on the park can't you?

We had early pressure, on 2 or 3 occasions but didn't convert it to goals which were essential to put the wobblies under Liverpool. And De Gea made one world class save and Sturridge smacked the bar with a belter!

Sahkho was immense tonight. Fellaini a disgrace and ought to have gone for the 2nd elbow of the night - AND if he plays again in a red shirt I will be ashamed.

What imaginationless manager- when you need goals to force your way through - swaps his 2 full backs and a decent midfielder (Carrick) for 2 more non-contributing squad men and a fat German used-to-be? Just go and soon please Van Ghoul pretty please - and we'll send the hat round for your fare home.

For the first time we saw tonight Giggs on his feet at the touchline while Aloysius Paulus Maria "Louis" van Gaal sat immobile on his fat useless arse again - BUT not until there were only 5 minutes left to score 3 effing goals Giggsey!! Behave yourself Ryan - should have been up on the toes from kick-off 2nd half 'cos it was clear Aloysius Paulus Maria "Louis" van Gaal couldn't inspire a shag in a knocking shop throughout his tenure - which will be curtailed very shortly I trust.
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Christ, Johnno's a tiresome, sycophantic cnut.

Sucks them off and insults our players with juvenile jibes at every opportunity, while repeatedly reminding everybody how back in his day the game was much better and how todays game has no dignity, respect or class.
 
Phil Jones Face said:
Christ, Johnno's a tiresome, sycophantic cnut.

Sucks them off and insults our players with juvenile jibes at every opportunity, while repeatedly reminding everybody how back in his day the game was much better and how todays game has no dignity, respect or class.
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He's not a United fan, never was. It's actually quite sad when you think about it.
 
The diehard United fan who can't spell 'Giggsy' properly....
 
Listening to TalkSport and it's unbelievable how confident this victory over us has made them. One Liverpool fan in particular was convinced they'll mount a title challenge next season and will be attracting 'world class stars like Reus' this summer. He also referred to Klopp as a 'genius' for staying silent during the Jan transfer window. On Facebook they're even worse.

So apparently beating a shit United team over two legs means a title challenge. I mean credit to Klopp, he's a good manager and all but he's hardly been tested has he? Unbearably deluded. :wenger:
 
Phil Jones Face said:
Christ, Johnno's a tiresome, sycophantic cnut.

Sucks them off and insults our players with juvenile jibes at every opportunity, while repeatedly reminding everybody how back in his day the game was much better and how todays game has no dignity, respect or class.
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The Sakho part about him being immense is enough to tell he's a dipper. No one else bar the scousers keep saying it. Also he calls Bastian Schweinsteiger fat German, the guy who's one of the most respected guy in world football and also happens to play for his favourite club and he disrespects him like that. What a sad tosser.
 
Irrational. said:
Listening to TalkSport and it's unbelievable how confident this victory over us has made them. One Liverpool fan in particular was convinced they'll mount a title challenge next season and will be attracting 'world class stars like Reus' this summer. He also referred to Klopp as a 'genius' for staying silent during the Jan transfer window. On Facebook they're even worse.

So apparently beating a shit United team over two legs means a title challenge. I mean credit to Klopp, he's a good manager and all but he's hardly been tested has he? Unbearably deluded. :wenger:
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I hope Dortmund trashes them.
 
Irrational. said:
Listening to TalkSport and it's unbelievable how confident this victory over us has made them. One Liverpool fan in particular was convinced they'll mount a title challenge next season and will be attracting 'world class stars like Reus' this summer. He also referred to Klopp as a 'genius' for staying silent during the Jan transfer window. On Facebook they're even worse.

So apparently beating a shit United team over two legs means a title challenge. I mean credit to Klopp, he's a good manager and all but he's hardly been tested has he? Unbearably deluded. :wenger:
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In hindsight, our defeat might be good. The Liverpool fans were starting to get too self aware to fall into the Scouse Boom Bust cycle. If this builds them up for more failure, it will lead to more fun than us going further in the Europa League (to get hammered by Dortmund).
 
Irrational. said:
Listening to TalkSport and it's unbelievable how confident this victory over us has made them. One Liverpool fan in particular was convinced they'll mount a title challenge next season and will be attracting 'world class stars like Reus' this summer. He also referred to Klopp as a 'genius' for staying silent during the Jan transfer window. On Facebook they're even worse.

So apparently beating a shit United team over two legs means a title challenge. I mean credit to Klopp, he's a good manager and all but he's hardly been tested has he? Unbearably deluded. :wenger:
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This. They don't seem to even comprehend real life. Good luck to them suppose. Must be nice to be so ignorantly optimistic.
 
Silverman said:
This. They don't seem to even comprehend real life. Good luck to them suppose. Must be nice to be so ignorantly optimistic.
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Even in victory they remain bizarre.

Reply #837 on: Today at 01:33:02 AM »

How Cinder got his name.
A novel by H.R Puffenstuff

an excerpt:

Couhtino approached Varella straight on, almost nonchalantly. "Hmmmm", he thought, "this guys shit. Right on!" Insouciantly, he gave his shoulder the merest flicker of a dip and a twitch to the right. Varella involuntarily followed the movement, starting to shift his weight and realizing his mistake almost before he had finished thinking. It didn't matter. Couhtino drove hard 1-2-3-4-5 steps, and then stepped across him ho-hum and casually dinked it where the goalie wasnt. At that very moment, Old Trafford's delusional world view finally collapsed into ruins and rubble. An entire lost generation of tortured Manc souls would never really fully recover. Many woke up at night screaming for years to come. It was the beginning of the end and it was located right in the middle of the road, for those who followed the Man Utd.
 
Parry Gallister said:
Even in victory they remain bizarre.

Reply #837 on: Today at 01:33:02 AM »

How Cinder got his name.
A novel by H.R Puffenstuff

an excerpt:

Couhtino approached Varella straight on, almost nonchalantly. "Hmmmm", he thought, "this guys shit. Right on!" Insouciantly, he gave his shoulder the merest flicker of a dip and a twitch to the right. Varella involuntarily followed the movement, starting to shift his weight and realizing his mistake almost before he had finished thinking. It didn't matter. Couhtino drove hard 1-2-3-4-5 steps, and then stepped across him ho-hum and casually dinked it where the goalie wasnt. At that very moment, Old Trafford's delusional world view finally collapsed into ruins and rubble. An entire lost generation of tortured Manc souls would never really fully recover. Many woke up at night screaming for years to come. It was the beginning of the end and it was located right in the middle of the road, for those who followed the Man Utd.
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:lol:'Delusional world view'. Pot. Kettle. Black.
 
Irrational. said:
Listening to TalkSport and it's unbelievable how confident this victory over us has made them. One Liverpool fan in particular was convinced they'll mount a title challenge next season and will be attracting 'world class stars like Reus' this summer. He also referred to Klopp as a 'genius' for staying silent during the Jan transfer window. On Facebook they're even worse.

So apparently beating a shit United team over two legs means a title challenge. I mean credit to Klopp, he's a good manager and all but he's hardly been tested has he? Unbearably deluded. :wenger:
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Its just like the Scouse boom/bust cycle graph. We are firmly in the "wait till next year" phase. June i believe is where we reach the "it's our year" and at that point they have a world class player in ever position in the team.
 
Parry Gallister said:
Even in victory they remain bizarre.

Reply #837 on: Today at 01:33:02 AM »

How Cinder got his name.
A novel by H.R Puffenstuff

an excerpt:

Couhtino approached Varella straight on, almost nonchalantly. "Hmmmm", he thought, "this guys shit. Right on!" Insouciantly, he gave his shoulder the merest flicker of a dip and a twitch to the right. Varella involuntarily followed the movement, starting to shift his weight and realizing his mistake almost before he had finished thinking. It didn't matter. Couhtino drove hard 1-2-3-4-5 steps, and then stepped across him ho-hum and casually dinked it where the goalie wasnt. At that very moment, Old Trafford's delusional world view finally collapsed into ruins and rubble. An entire lost generation of tortured Manc souls would never really fully recover. Many woke up at night screaming for years to come. It was the beginning of the end and it was located right in the middle of the road, for those who followed the Man Utd.
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That's a post? They are an odd bunch.
 
RAWK said:
I would love for you to write down all your footie memories and put them all together, Johnno. I love reading them.
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Johnno said:
...and Shanks said to me: "Och aye the noo, Johnno, I canae take the strain - ye'll have to take over as manager of Liverpool and smash the Mancs in the Watneys Party Pack Cup Final!"

Well the great man's faith in me was justified, as we the mighty Reds did indeed smash my beloved Mancaster Unity, who I've loyally supported since 79 B.C. It was a victory for football, fair play, the community, and for working class passion over fuchen massive spending, la. We Liverpool scored 5 times in all, and that alcoholic bastid Fergie was livid. But Shankly was ecstatic - "Ye've done us proud, laddie - I just hope ye'll be safe when ye return to your Manchestington home." "Don't worry, Bill," I replied, "I live in Bootle."
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Johnno said:
There are places I remember all my life, though some have changed; some forever, not for better, some have gone and some remain...

Picture the scene: it was the height of World War 2, and Old Trafford had been bombed to tatty ribbons by a discerning Luftwaffe. With the class, dignity and humility I associate with all things Liverpool, the Merseyside club generously - nay, heroically - offered their lavish stadium to United as the venue for their matches. But furious Fergie would have none of it: "F*ck off, Dalglish - I'd rather we played in that farmer's field over there than ever step foot in Anfield, even if it is a magnificent realm fit for footballing gods like Liverpool". Kenny went to shake the United manager's hand but Fergie just waved his bare testicles under King Kenny's nose in a very, very classless and unsychronised way.

So while United fittingly played on cow poo, Liverpool's fantastic and handsome players coasted to victory across a surface as smooth as a bowling green, while fans were given gold bars and unlimited champagne by King Kenny himself. Then some fairies flew down and carried the King off to Paradise. And the fairies pooped on Fergie as they flew across a golden sky. GGMU.
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....
 
It's amazing that finally beating "the worst United team in decades" isn't actually an indication of quality.
 
Sassy Colin said:
Hasn't anyone ever called him out on it, like that Cantona chap, for example?
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I think that I did a few months back, though not directly, but no-one responded. I think that Cantona did the same, and well, it is obvious that Johnno isn't:

a) old
b) a United fan.

Would be very surprised if he isn't a Liverpool fan and isn't younger than 25.
 
I love reading this thread.
It makes me see that i am actually a quite intelligent, and well working, human being.
Good for confidence :D
 
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