Players whose names are a lie

From our squad:

Martial - not really an aggressive player as his name sugests.
Juan Mata - Never murdered anyone
Hannibal - Not really into human meat tasting
Greenwood - Not sure, since only his gf can confirm
 
Declan Rice - It does not go well when you pour curry sauce and meat over him
 
Ljungberg - Heather mountain
Forsberg - Rapids mountain
Berg - Mountain
Lustig - Funny (he's really not)

None of these Swedish players are actual mountains.
 
Isaac Success - utter failure
 
Chris Wood - He is not wood. Maybe his name is Chris' wood.
 
Kyle Walker - he is anything but a walker. Should be Kyle Runner.
 
Philipp Lahm wasn't the quickest, but he wasn't "lame" by any measure.
 
Bastian Schweinsteiger translates to "pig climber" (German)

Zoophila is a felony.
 
Adcuth said:
jan vennegoor of hesselink because WTF
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English newspaper The Guardian researched his unusual-sounding name and found that he was thus named because:

...way back in the 17th century, two farming families in the Enschede area of Holland intermarried. Both the Vennegoor and Hesselink names carried equal social weight, and so – rather than choose between them – they chose to use both. 'Of' in Dutch actually translates to 'or', which would mean that a strict translation of his name would read Jan Vennegoor or Hesselink
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Leon Best - not really


One for the Romanians on the caf.

Adrian Mutu - can speak
 
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