Players whose names are a lie

Ian St. John was not a saint.
Woodgate is not a gate made from wood.
 
Brandon Barker: actually speaks, although when getting pissed probably barks a little.
 
Gavin Kilkenny - As far as i know never killed Kenny
Steve Cook - Definitely not a cook
Bradley Johnson - His dad isn't called John (as far as I know)
Aaron Cresswell - Never waters the seeds
Pascal Gross - Is actually quite pleasant
Rob Holding - Is rather rash with his positioning
Sean Longstaff - isn't well endowed.
 
Ben Thatcher - Does not construct roofing from dried vegetation
Shaun Wright-Phillips - Was a winger, not a screwdriver
Robbie Savage - Was not backward or unevolved, but actually quite uniquely adapted to survive in his environment
Jack Grealish - Actually English, and a bit Irish
Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain - Not renowned for being the manager a Royal household, nor for having bummed a bullock
 
Emre Can - he really can’t
Ryan Giggs - Giggity
Danny Shittu - feck you too
Stefan Kuntz - more than one
 
Sunday Oliseh - Was born on a Saturday, 14 sep 1974. He is not a real Sunday.

El Hadji Diouf/Gheorge Hagi - Never really were devout men or saints like their "Hajji"-names indicate
 
Haaland.. Since his name isn't Haaland at all, but Håland, and he just changed it for the marketability. Liaaaaaaar.
 
Erling Haaland - actually from Norway
Matt Holland - actually from England
 
Kevin Kilbane - Bane is canonically still alive in the DC Universe
 
Darren Bent- His style was direct and straight forward

Credence Clearwater Couto- He's no musician