Mason Greenwood | Please be respectful and stay on topic | Factual updates only

Wrecking ralf

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This post is about me and not about Greenwood.

The one thing that shocks me is how young he is.

He is 22 now and was probably 21 years old or younger maybe 20 when he abused his partner.

I think about how i was when i was 21 & i had just gone to university, no money except student loans, drinking everyday, going out clubbing everyday, smoking drugs, trying to attract girls and was no where near an adult at that age. I was such a kid at 21.

I do wonder how kids who are 20-21 with millions of pounds in their bank, driving Ferrari's, world known celebrities that could probably attract anybody of the opposite sex will be influencing their ego's and actions. I think this may be even why things like Rashford's charity work got such a big PR hype because it showed a soft side to a young football millionaire.

I remember how big headed i got for having the ability to just attract a few girls at 21 whilst having absolutely nothing in my wallet or life except my looks which weren't that great either.

Ive actually gone through anger issues post that age with both my own family & my partner because of my problem with serotonin hormone which comes from me being addicted to video gaming after playing video games non stop on drugs for 3 days which i then couldnt stop (stopped taking drugs bymyself but was addicted to video games & smart phones for years) and later got diagnosed and medicated for as a mental health issue called screen addiction which i had to deal with for over a decade now. I used to get angry and try make my partner get tattoos because i was addicted to porn at that age.

My partner stuck by me because she loved me and maybe knew it wasn't the real me and I've changed alot now where i feel like I've grown up and regret all my actions at that age. I used to treat my girlfriend like she's a porn star making her dress like a slut in public with minimal clothing but now I've changed and im much more caring and protective of her and want her to be treated as my princess with her happiness meaning much more to me than before when i was much more self centred and controlling of my partner due to a change of my personality which wasn't completely under my control during that time.

Im glad my personality has now changed and showing more 'true love' to my partner than 'fake love' which is the way how my partner called it.

No matter what happens to Greenwood as a footballer - i hope his personality changes, regret his mistakes and change for the better both for the benefit of himself and his partner.
I don’t think anyone not living that life can comprehend what having all that money and fame can do to young people. Not only in the football world, look at the child actors, young pop stars, even lottery winners that have all that thrust upon them. It must be amazing for them at the time but it also must make you feel invincible and as has been seen many times over, above the law.

On your point though, glad you made it through the other side ok.
 

DontBeMeanToBeRuud

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I don’t think anyone not living that life can comprehend what having all that money and fame can do to young people. Not only in the football world, look at the child actors, young pop stars, even lottery winners that have all that thrust upon them. It must be amazing for them at the time but it also must make you feel invincible and as has been seen many times over, above the law.

On your point though, glad you made it through the other side ok.
I know right? It feels like it should be an absolute dream for a young kid to have alot of money when it can literally be the opposite and be a nightmare making them worse people who are prone to making mistakes. Greenwood was arguably a millionaire at the age of 18 - only getting bigger and bigger both financially & egotistically - imagine being an 18-19 year old millionaire of Manchester United. He probably slept with more of the opposite sex than many people on this forum put together. Maybe he is completely addicted to sex & has then since been in a more serious relationship. How big headed can someone become? We saw what something little as Social Media did to a player like Lingard, making his own brand etc. It looks stupid from outside but that was a young guy who got too over egotistic over himself which is sometimes just the reaction to your environment. Even Sancho's leathargy and playing video games can just come from earning stupid money at a young age.

Most celebrities actually hate being celebrities because how known they are out in the public & even find it depressing not being normal people. Imagine posters in this forum being Maguire or Rashford and having to deal with all the bad things that have been said about you daily or even hourly & then still wondering why they look like their sulking on the pitch.

I'm just trying to point out that life can be really hard when it almost becomes too easy, dealing with things in ways most of the population dont have to deal with. Even Richarlison made a video about footballer's depression recently showing how things can change a persons mental health or personality.

A lot of my favourite rappers have died at the age of 23< under like Lil Peep, Juice Wrld, 6 DOGS & many more who dealt with mental issues like Yung Lean. All had the money in the world but made life breaking mistakes like having an over addiction to something.

Shame.
 
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bosskeano

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obviously swaps don't happen but using Greenwood to get Neves would be very wise business on our part
 

Posh Red

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This post is about me and not about Greenwood.

The one thing that shocks me is how young he is.

He is 22 now and was probably 21 years old or younger maybe 20 when he abused his partner.

I think about how i was when i was 21 & i had just gone to university, no money except student loans, drinking everyday, going out clubbing everyday, smoking drugs, trying to attract girls and was no where near an adult at that age. I was such a kid at 21.

I do wonder how kids who are 20-21 with millions of pounds in their bank, driving Ferrari's, world known celebrities that could probably attract anybody of the opposite sex will be influencing their ego's and actions. I think this may be even why things like Rashford's charity work got such a big PR hype because it showed a soft side to a young football millionaire.

I remember how big headed i got for having the ability to just attract a few girls at 21 whilst having absolutely nothing in my wallet or life except my looks which weren't that great either.

Ive actually gone through anger issues post that age with both my own family & my partner because of my problem with serotonin hormone which comes from me being addicted to video gaming after playing video games non stop on drugs for 3 days which i then couldnt stop (stopped taking drugs bymyself but was addicted to video games & smart phones for years) and later got diagnosed and medicated for as a mental health issue called screen addiction which i had to deal with for over a decade now. I used to get angry and try make my partner get tattoos because i was addicted to porn at that age.

My partner stuck by me because she loved me and maybe knew it wasn't the real me and I've changed alot now where i feel like I've grown up and regret all my actions at that age. I used to treat my girlfriend like she's a porn star making her dress like a slut in public with minimal clothing but now I've changed and im much more caring and protective of her and want her to be treated as my princess with her happiness meaning much more to me than before when i was much more self centred and controlling of my partner due to a change of my personality which wasn't completely under my control during that time.

Im glad my personality has now changed and showing more 'true love' to my partner than 'fake love' which is the way how my partner called it.

No matter what happens to Greenwood as a footballer - i hope his personality changes, regret his mistakes and change for the better both for the benefit of himself and his partner.
You’ve made this post before. Is this the same account, or have you made a new one?

Either way; I’m not sure why you’ve essentially repeated one of your old post almost entirely.
 

7even

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Ok then, this is what I disagree with:

- Making out that Greenwood deserves a second chance while he lives in Spain and makes millions of pounds playing football.

- The fact he refers to the victim as “victim”.

- Calling it a tragedy while doing his best Helen Lovejoy impression and asking us to please think of the children.

Although it was that ridiculous of a post I genuinely couldn’t tell if it was satire or not.
English isn’t my first language but nevertheless.

Sorry about the “victim” word. Maybe I wrote it wrong or you interpreted in the worst possible way. Anyway my “” wasn’t meant to dismiss his awful actions or anything like that. Are you ok with that answer?

What he’s earning in Spain makes no difference for my argument. Are you willing to give him a second chance if he earns much less or close to nothing cleaning toilets at hotels?

It’s a tragedy! Take a holistic view and it’s hard to see anyone in that family walk out of this in a good way. Even if everything is Mason’s fault it’s still a tragedy (for the family) no matter how you look at it. What else should you call it?

Helen Lovejoy? You lost me on this one.

Greenwood did this to himself. Even if the girlfriend is totally innocent she is still in charge of her OWN actions. I’m not blaming her because I’m not familiar with the case but my experience says that in general being innocent isn’t the same as being blameless for the outcome. Anyway she’s the public victim and she doesn’t deserves me or others speculating about anything else.

Thinking about the child is a holistic view. Is that so hard to understand? You connect words and make assumptions out of thin air. If I worded something wrong or you were unsure about my intentions then ask me to clarify my post.

You assume you know my intentions and who I’m in a few words with minimal of information. You don’t ask questions. All you do is score cheap points. Why is that?

One thing I’m certain of is that the only one with full knowledge is those two involved. She seems to have moved on. Wise. Rightly or wrongly future will tell but I prefer that outcome to anything else.
 

Oecobius

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English isn’t my first language but nevertheless.

Sorry about the “victim” word. Maybe I wrote it wrong or you interpreted in the worst possible way. Anyway my “” wasn’t meant to dismiss his awful actions or anything like that. Are you ok with that answer?

What he’s earning in Spain makes no difference for my argument. Are you willing to give him a second chance if he earns much less or close to nothing cleaning toilets at hotels?

It’s a tragedy! Take a holistic view and it’s hard to see anyone in that family walk out of this in a good way. Even if everything is Mason’s fault it’s still a tragedy (for the family) no matter how you look at it. What else should you call it?

Helen Lovejoy? You lost me on this one.

Greenwood did this to himself. Even if the girlfriend is totally innocent she is still in charge of her OWN actions. I’m not blaming her because I’m not familiar with the case but my experience says that in general being innocent isn’t the same as being blameless for the outcome. Anyway she’s the public victim and she doesn’t deserves me or others speculating about anything else.

Thinking about the child is a holistic view. Is that so hard to understand? You connect words and make assumptions out of thin air. If I worded something wrong or you were unsure about my intentions then ask me to clarify my post.

You assume you know my intentions and who I’m in a few words with minimal of information. You don’t ask questions. All you do is score cheap points. Why is that?

One thing I’m certain of is that the only one with full knowledge is those two involved. She seems to have moved on. Wise. Rightly or wrongly future will tell but I prefer that outcome to anything else.

Well, certain aspects of this post are alarming.

It is careless to bring into question the innocence of a victim. You say you have family members who are victims of domestic violence. Do you question their innocence?

You say the victim here moved on, and you say that is wise. Is it wise to stay with a domestic abuser? My sister was repeatedly beaten up by her then-husband, kept dropping the charges against him, then kept returning to him to be beaten up again. I don't think that was wise.

I'm not suggesting MG will definitely repeat his actions, and they may have looked at his behaviour with plans to work on it, but to suggest that victims move on from their abuse and go back to their abusers as a wise decision, is careless and dangerous.
 

Posh Red

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English isn’t my first language but nevertheless.

Sorry about the “victim” word. Maybe I wrote it wrong or you interpreted in the worst possible way. Anyway my “” wasn’t meant to dismiss his awful actions or anything like that. Are you ok with that answer?

What he’s earning in Spain makes no difference for my argument. Are you willing to give him a second chance if he earns much less or close to nothing cleaning toilets at hotels?

It’s a tragedy! Take a holistic view and it’s hard to see anyone in that family walk out of this in a good way. Even if everything is Mason’s fault it’s still a tragedy (for the family) no matter how you look at it. What else should you call it?

Helen Lovejoy? You lost me on this one.

Greenwood did this to himself. Even if the girlfriend is totally innocent she is still in charge of her OWN actions. I’m not blaming her because I’m not familiar with the case but my experience says that in general being innocent isn’t the same as being blameless for the outcome. Anyway she’s the public victim and she doesn’t deserves me or others speculating about anything else.

Thinking about the child is a holistic view. Is that so hard to understand? You connect words and make assumptions out of thin air. If I worded something wrong or you were unsure about my intentions then ask me to clarify my post.

You assume you know my intentions and who I’m in a few words with minimal of information. You don’t ask questions. All you do is score cheap points. Why is that?

One thing I’m certain of is that the only one with full knowledge is those two involved. She seems to have moved on. Wise. Rightly or wrongly future will tell but I prefer that outcome to anything else.
Can you explain why you’re deliberately ignoring the context of this, which has been repeatedly explained to you and many others in this thread already?
 

7even

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Well, certain aspects of this post are alarming.

It is careless to bring into question the innocence of a victim. You say you have family members who are victims of domestic violence. Do you question their innocence?

You say the victim here moved on, and you say that is wise. Is it wise to stay with a domestic abuser? My sister was repeatedly beaten up by her then-husband, kept dropping the charges against him, then kept returning to him to be beaten up again. I don't think that was wise.

I'm not suggesting MG will definitely repeat his actions, and they may have looked at his behaviour with plans to work on it, but to suggest that victims move on from their abuse and go back to their abusers as a wise decision, is careless and dangerous.
Thanks. All valid questions.

The direct answer to your question is yes, I do.

But probably more in the context of why and how to move forward. If there’s a child involved it’s hard to recommend something without knowing the full context..

Innocence is a powerful word. There’re off course cases when violence comes out of nowhere but then mental illness, drugs or alcohol is often involved but in most other cases the conflict is escalating because of actions and counter actions. I’m not that naive that I think that one part is totally innocent and the other part is at 100% fault. That doesn’t mean that violence in any shape or form are acceptable but sometimes both parts can “trigger’ a conflict by being disrespectful, mean and sometimes too offensive. That’s why it’s so hard to judge guilt from the outside because 95% of the conflict is word against word. As soon someone use violence it’s ‘mostly ‘“game over” from a legal standpoint but that doesn’t mean the other part is blameless.

I wanted my daughter to reflect and to learn from her experience so she doesn’t end up in the same situation again. To do that I had to ask her uncomfortable questions and challenge her so I knew she could see her own role in this.

Your second question is much harder to defend.

In principle you’re right. I can’t debate that but as you know there’re financial incentives in staying with a football star when you’re a mother to a newborn baby. Maybe she knows things that we don’t? Maybe she forgive him for other reasons than we think?

Breaking up a young family depends on how mentally strong she’s and how much support she gets from her friends and family. She made her decision and kept him and I’m not going to condemn her for that, so from that perspective she’s wise to keep believing. But your question is very hard to argue against so maybe I have to back track a little bit. Tough, tough what’s right or wrong…


Can you explain why you’re deliberately ignoring the context of this, which has been repeatedly explained to you and many others in this thread already?
Sorry if I don’t understand but explain to me what context do I ignore? Not trying to play dumb but I haven’t read this thread in a long long time before yesterday or something so maybe I have missed a lot of valid comments.

Discussing domestic violence is difficult and filed with lots of emotions. I think at least I have changed my mind what’s right or wrong based on my own experience and seeing other elder couples who have continued together despite being unfaithful, lied to each other and sometimes involving domestic violence. When you get older your perspective change and you realize that sometimes life is life with all the good and bad.

Maybe the new generation do better then us but remember humans is a complicated thing.
 

Oecobius

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Thanks. All valid questions.

The direct answer to your question is yes, I do.

But probably more in the context of why and how to move forward. If there’s a child involved it’s hard to recommend something without knowing the full context..

Innocence is a powerful word. There’re off course cases when violence comes out of nowhere but then mental illness, drugs or alcohol is often involved but in most other cases the conflict is escalating because of actions and counter actions. I’m not that naive that I think that one part is totally innocent and the other part is at 100% fault. That doesn’t mean that violence in any shape or form are acceptable but sometimes both parts can “trigger’ a conflict by being disrespectful, mean and sometimes too offensive. That’s why it’s so hard to judge guilt from the outside because 95% of the conflict is word against word. As soon someone use violence it’s ‘mostly ‘“game over” from a legal standpoint but that doesn’t mean the other part is blameless.

I wanted my daughter to reflect and to learn from her experience so she doesn’t end up in the same situation again. To do that I had to ask her uncomfortable questions and challenge her so I knew she could see her own role in this.

Saying something disrespectful, mean, or offensive in a heated argument between a couple should under no circumstances result in physical or emotional abuse. That is utterly outrageous.

Is the message then, for example, "Don't say anything bad to your boyfriend because it could result in him punching you in the face"?

The message should be, for example, "If there's a likelihood that your boyfriend will punch you in the face, for any reason, dump him now."
 
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Lash

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Just wow. This thread has some absolutely wild views trying to be presented as wisdom.
 

diarm

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My post isn’t directed to you personally but more of a general response.

Ask yourself if you want to live in a world where we don’t give people a second chance?

Despite the mobile recording and all the awful things that’s on that tape we talk about a very young man who clearly needs help with anger management. I’m not defending him in any way, just so that is clear, but I defend his right to get a second chance without being publicly called names whenever a supporter wants to venting his anger or position himself on social media. Domestic violence is a complex problem where the public probably only see a fraction of what’s going on, both before and after any incident.

Football is Greenwood’s job and how he earns money. Where do we draw the line?

The legal system has closed the case.
Manchester United F.C has listened to the public opinion.
Supporters and others have aired theirs strong opinions clear on social media and everywhere it’s possible.

That’s ok even if I personally don’t like this new ‘canceling”culture. To move on we sooner or later have to ask ourselves when the condemning becomes counter productive? If former “prisoners” have no way back what’s the point to change and to become a better person?

As I wrote many months ago my youngest daughter was raped and a victim of domestic violence. My wife since 12 years was abused in her first marriage where her ex husband constantly used violence, didn’t participated in the household, refused to share common money and later tried to kill her by using a gun. Unfortunately Brazil don’t have the recourses to protect those who needs to be protected and their legal system is so corrupted that the chances to get some sort of justice is slim. I say this just so you hopefully understand that I don’t take domestic violence lightly, but if I disconnect my heart and use my head I realize that it’s more complicated than just get rid of the abuser.

Hopefully can young man or women who has committed domestic violence can get some counseling after they have service their punishment. Mason has a child together with the “victim”. As a father and grandfather who has been there and seen some of the the consequences I hope they all can manage to move on and find peace and happiness.

To keep on ‘punish’ him on internet over and over again doesn’t help him with his problems and it reduces his chances to take care of his family. I fully understand those of you who do this (on internet) but maybe we should ask ourself when it’s time to turn the page? There’s a young child who probably suffer from this tragedy, maybe we should calm down sometimes and think about our responsibility to him/her also?
That’s a very long post, and I’m just after stumbling home from Thomond Park after Munster winning a quarter final so I’m not reading all of it with massive clarity.
But I’ll give it a go;

I’m all for second chances, for lads who hold their hands up and ask for them.

Removing all the emotive parts of the situation, aside from anything else any of us think Mason did to his partner, he absolutely humiliated her on a public stage and he has done nothing to lessen that humiliation.

He hasn’t stepped forward and admitted guilt, he hasn’t provided an alternative explanation for his behaviour, he hasn’t asked for forgiveness.

He’s just kept playing football and kept earning more money than most of us could hope to make, hoping the whole thing will blow over and he’ll never have to answer for the wrongs he’s done.
 

Gabriel Djemba-Bebe

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Has Mason issued a public apology in any way, even if a vague one?
He hasn’t stepped forward and admitted guilt, he hasn’t provided an alternative explanation for his behaviour, he hasn’t asked for forgiveness.

He’s just kept playing football and kept earning more money than most of us could hope to make, hoping the whole thing will blow over and he’ll never have to answer for the wrongs he’s done.
He released a statement in August which contained the below wording:

"I fully accept I made mistakes in my relationship, and I take my share of responsibility for the situations which led to the social media post".

How much involvement he had in the wording of this statement is certainly up for debate, however I would guess that his lawyer would have advised him to not publicly say anything else relating to the allegations he was charged with. From a legal perspective, that would be the most sensible course of action.
 

Raoul

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He released a statement in August which contained the below wording:

"I fully accept I made mistakes in my relationship, and I take my share of responsibility for the situations which led to the social media post".

How much involvement he had in the wording of this statement is certainly up for debate, however I would guess that his lawyer would have advised him to not publicly say anything else relating to the allegations he was charged with. From a legal perspective, that would be the most sensible course of action.
He probably had little to no input into the public comments given that they look carefully crafted by lawyers and public relations people.
 

Gabriel Djemba-Bebe

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He probably had little to no input into the public comments given that they look carefully crafted by lawyers and public relations people.
I agree. But do people really expect him to go on camera and admit guilt? His lawyers are never going to encourage him to do that.
 

7even

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Saying something disrespectful, mean, or offensive in a heated argument between a couple should under no circumstances result in physical or emotional abuse. That is utterly outrageous.

Is the message then, for example, "Don't say anything bad to your boyfriend because it could result in him punching you in the face"?

The message should be, for example, "If there's a likelihood that your boyfriend will punch you in the face, for any reason, dump him now."
I’m sorry but in my age we don’t have boyfriends. That’s too modern for me.











.
 

DJ Jeff

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He probably had little to no input into the public comments given that they look carefully crafted by lawyers and public relations people.
In fairness if you just had a case dropped by the CPS you'd probably say precisely what your legal team told you to say in public and not a word more or less, regardless of if you actually felt remorse for what you probably did or not. And being very unfair here and judging him by his persona and past body language I doubt he feels bad about it, but maybe he does, who knows.
 

Oecobius

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I’m sorry but in my age we don’t have boyfriends. That’s too modern for me.











.

That is entirely irrelevant to my post, and dismisses my point completely.

The examples were written as though they were being spoken to a person with an abusive partner.
 

diarm

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I agree. But do people really expect him to go on camera and admit guilt? His lawyers are never going to encourage him to do that.
No, but I also didn’t expect him to go on tape and admit to telling his girlfriend he didn’t give a feck if she wanted to have sex or not.

That happened, so until he goes a distance to show the world he’s changed, I’m comfortable in my opinion that he’s a scumbag.
 

Wibble

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He released a statement in August which contained the below wording:

"I fully accept I made mistakes in my relationship, and I take my share of responsibility for the situations which led to the social media post".

How much involvement he had in the wording of this statement is certainly up for debate, however I would guess that his lawyer would have advised him to not publicly say anything else relating to the allegations he was charged with. From a legal perspective, that would be the most sensible course of action.
Non-apology apology. Sorry, not sorry.
 

Gabriel Djemba-Bebe

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In fairness if you just had a case dropped by the CPS you'd probably say precisely what your legal team told you to say in public and not a word more or less, regardless of if you actually felt remorse for what you probably did or not.
Exactly.
 

Wibble

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My post isn’t directed to you personally but more of a general response.

Ask yourself if you want to live in a world where we don’t give people a second chance?

Despite the mobile recording and all the awful things that’s on that tape we talk about a very young man who clearly needs help with anger management. I’m not defending him in any way, just so that is clear, but I defend his right to get a second chance without being publicly called names whenever a supporter wants to venting his anger or position himself on social media. Domestic violence is a complex problem where the public probably only see a fraction of what’s going on, both before and after any incident.

Football is Greenwood’s job and how he earns money. Where do we draw the line?

The legal system has closed the case.
Manchester United F.C has listened to the public opinion.
Supporters and others have aired theirs strong opinions clear on social media and everywhere it’s possible.

That’s ok even if I personally don’t like this new ‘canceling”culture. To move on we sooner or later have to ask ourselves when the condemning becomes counter productive? If former “prisoners” have no way back what’s the point to change and to become a better person?

As I wrote many months ago my youngest daughter was raped and a victim of domestic violence. My wife since 12 years was abused in her first marriage where her ex husband constantly used violence, didn’t participated in the household, refused to share common money and later tried to kill her by using a gun. Unfortunately Brazil don’t have the recourses to protect those who needs to be protected and their legal system is so corrupted that the chances to get some sort of justice is slim. I say this just so you hopefully understand that I don’t take domestic violence lightly, but if I disconnect my heart and use my head I realize that it’s more complicated than just get rid of the abuser.

Hopefully can young man or women who has committed domestic violence can get some counseling after they have service their punishment. Mason has a child together with the “victim”. As a father and grandfather who has been there and seen some of the the consequences I hope they all can manage to move on and find peace and happiness.

To keep on ‘punish’ him on internet over and over again doesn’t help him with his problems and it reduces his chances to take care of his family. I fully understand those of you who do this (on internet) but maybe we should ask ourself when it’s time to turn the page? There’s a young child who probably suffer from this tragedy, maybe we should calm down sometimes and think about our responsibility to him/her also?
What is this punishment you speak of? What tragedy is his child suffering from?

Despicable behaviour from which he was lucky to emerge without a criminal conviction and jail and his punishment has to he hugely paid in full the whole time. Cry me a river.

A scumbag who I want nowhere near the club again and I hope they take whatever offer they can get for him. Which isn't going to be a huge sum.
 

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Ok but if you insert real life expectations of what he would say and not what you would like someone to tell you in private, what do you think someone who narrowly avoided a CPS case on the basis of the main witness dropping out should have said?
Nothing. His silence says it all. If he could provide an explanation that made sense and exonerated him he would have done so. Mason has not provided an explanation for appearing to be an abusive would be rapist because the explanation is that the audio and the pictures provided an accurate picture of who he truly is.
 

Wibble

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Ok but if you insert real life expectations of what he would say and not what you would like someone to tell you in private, what do you think someone who narrowly avoided a CPS case on the basis of the main witness dropping out should have said?
An apology that wasn't admitting criminal guilt but actually acknowledged their behaviour. This was a PR feck you "apology".
 

DJ Jeff

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An apology that wasn't admitting criminal guilt but actually acknowledged their behaviour. This was a PR feck you "apology".
Such an apology does not exist in the context of a prosecution that was absolutely coming but for the witness getting back together with him and dropping out. And I do think he absolutely did what she alleged just I don't think there's any way he can address that publicly now or ever in a remotely upfront way without opening up a whole legal can of worms that any football club employing him will outright forbid him from doing, if he even wanted to do it.
 

Wibble

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Time!

To be angry.
To be sad.
To reflect.
To search for guidance.

To heal and hopefully some day forgive.

In the case we’re discussing my goal is to change my feelings and stance with time.


It’s a long and sometimes painful journey but for those who take this road the benefits far outweigh the negative’s. Staying half full, positive and with the ability to forgiveness is way to keep the good spirit and to live longer.

Maybe this part is a little bit too deep for some but it hold grounds.

My grandmother who died 1980 with an age of 87 years said to me a few month before she died that the hardest thing in life is to forgive, forget and still love.

I remember the moment she said that like it was yesterday . It was so powerful and said with so much humility and love that even a young boy like I was at that time become totally quiet. I have used those words many times in my life and sometimes I have failed but without those words I would have lost a lot important people in my life.
I suspect your grandmother was talking about people holding on to petty grievances. Which in families is a very fair point.

I doubt she was saying you should give rapey types a free pass.
 
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Yakuza_devils

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This post is about me and not about Greenwood.

The one thing that shocks me is how young he is.

He is 22 now and was probably 21 years old or younger maybe 20 when he abused his partner.

I think about how i was when i was 21 & i had just gone to university, no money except student loans, drinking everyday, going out clubbing everyday, smoking drugs, trying to attract girls and was no where near an adult at that age. I was such a kid at 21.

I do wonder how kids who are 20-21 with millions of pounds in their bank, driving Ferrari's, world known celebrities that could probably attract anybody of the opposite sex will be influencing their ego's and actions. I think this may be even why things like Rashford's charity work got such a big PR hype because it showed a soft side to a young football millionaire.

I remember how big headed i got for having the ability to just attract a few girls at 21 whilst having absolutely nothing in my wallet or life except my looks which weren't that great either.

Ive actually gone through anger issues post that age with both my own family & my partner because of my problem with serotonin hormone which comes from me being addicted to video gaming after playing video games non stop on drugs for 3 days which i then couldnt stop (stopped taking drugs bymyself but was addicted to video games & smart phones for years) and later got diagnosed and medicated for as a mental health issue called screen addiction which i had to deal with for over a decade now. I used to get angry and try make my partner get tattoos because i was addicted to porn at that age.

My partner stuck by me because she loved me and maybe knew it wasn't the real me and I've changed alot now where i feel like I've grown up and regret all my actions at that age. I used to treat my girlfriend like she's a porn star making her dress like a slut in public with minimal clothing but now I've changed and im much more caring and protective of her and want her to be treated as my princess with her happiness meaning much more to me than before when i was much more self centred and controlling of my partner due to a change of my personality which wasn't completely under my control during that time.

Im glad my personality has now changed and showing more 'true love' to my partner than 'fake love' which is the way how my partner called it.

No matter what happens to Greenwood as a footballer - i hope his personality changes, regret his mistakes and change for the better both for the benefit of himself and his partner.
Very well written
 

Wibble

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Such an apology does not exist in the context of a prosecution[/B] that was absolutely coming but for the witness getting back together with him and dropping out. And I do think he absolutely did what she alleged just I don't think there's any way he can address that publicly now or ever in a remotely upfront way without opening up a whole legal can of worms that any football club employing him will outright forbid him from doing, if he even wanted to do it.
Of course it does. Although nice if him to take his "share" of responsibility. Not for what he said or did of corse, but for "the situations that led to the social media post".

So not even a non-apology for what got him charged. Basically sorry he didn't stop before he got revealed in public.
 

Wumminator

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I’m glad I have read the last few pages and now know that forgiving Greenwood will help me live longer and that I shouldn’t force my girlfriend to dress like “a slut”’ in public. Really wise posts.
 

Pickle85

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Thanks. All valid questions.

The direct answer to your question is yes, I do.

But probably more in the context of why and how to move forward. If there’s a child involved it’s hard to recommend something without knowing the full context..

Innocence is a powerful word. There’re off course cases when violence comes out of nowhere but then mental illness, drugs or alcohol is often involved but in most other cases the conflict is escalating because of actions and counter actions. I’m not that naive that I think that one part is totally innocent and the other part is at 100% fault. That doesn’t mean that violence in any shape or form are acceptable but sometimes both parts can “trigger’ a conflict by being disrespectful, mean and sometimes too offensive. That’s why it’s so hard to judge guilt from the outside because 95% of the conflict is word against word. As soon someone use violence it’s ‘mostly ‘“game over” from a legal standpoint but that doesn’t mean the other part is blameless.

I wanted my daughter to reflect and to learn from her experience so she doesn’t end up in the same situation again. To do that I had to ask her uncomfortable questions and challenge her so I knew she could see her own role in this.

Your second question is much harder to defend.

In principle you’re right. I can’t debate that but as you know there’re financial incentives in staying with a football star when you’re a mother to a newborn baby. Maybe she knows things that we don’t? Maybe she forgive him for other reasons than we think?

Breaking up a young family depends on how mentally strong she’s and how much support she gets from her friends and family. She made her decision and kept him and I’m not going to condemn her for that, so from that perspective she’s wise to keep believing. But your question is very hard to argue against so maybe I have to back track a little bit. Tough, tough what’s right or wrong…



Sorry if I don’t understand but explain to me what context do I ignore? Not trying to play dumb but I haven’t read this thread in a long long time before yesterday or something so maybe I have missed a lot of valid comments.

Discussing domestic violence is difficult and filed with lots of emotions. I think at least I have changed my mind what’s right or wrong based on my own experience and seeing other elder couples who have continued together despite being unfaithful, lied to each other and sometimes involving domestic violence. When you get older your perspective change and you realize that sometimes life is life with all the good and bad.

Maybe the new generation do better then us but remember humans is a complicated thing.
Disgraceful post that both minimizes the impact of domestic violence, victim blames and comes across as misogynistic. It sounds as though you live in an incredibly patriarchal society when you talk about someone being 'disrespectful' so triggering a conflict (implying they're deserving of what they receive to some extent). The post sounds antiquated and out of touch and I certainly hope that the new generation do better than you, as it sounds as though you do not do well at all.

Oh, and using empty, meaningless aphorisms like 'life is life' or 'when you get older your perspective change' doesn't make you sound like a wise, philosophical sage, it makes you sound like an out of touch blowhard.
 

Posh Red

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Ok but if you insert real life expectations of what he would say and not what you would like someone to tell you in private, what do you think someone who narrowly avoided a CPS case on the basis of the main witness dropping out should have said?
The point is that he doesn’t deserve any kind of forgiveness or second chance. The price on that ticket is admitting guilt and facing the consequences. I completely understand why he’s not going to do that.
 

DJ Jeff

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Of course it does. Although nice if him to take his "share" of responsibility. Not for what he said or did of corse, but for "the situations that led to the social media post".

So not even a non-apology for what got him charged. Basically sorry he didn't stop before he got revealed in public.
How could he apologise for what we all know he did without basically making an admission that would affect a criminal case against him? That's my point. I don't think he can say anything really truthful about it all. I doubt he wants to either or is sorry about what he did, but even if he was there'd be 50 people tackling him and telling him you will possibly go to jail if you say this if he went to make a statement like that.
 

Wibble

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How could he apologise for what we all know he did without basically making an admission that would affect a criminal case against him? That's my point. I don't think he can say anything really truthful about it all. I doubt he wants to either or is sorry about what he did, but even if he was there'd be 50 thepeople tackling him and telling him you will possibly go to jail if you say this if he went to make a statement like that.
Easily. The charges were gone so if he were actually sorry for his actions he could say that at the same time as saying he was innocent in the criminal sense.
 

golden_blunder

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Guys can we please stop bumping this thread to go round in circles over arguments that have already been had multiple times? We’ve all had our say. How about updating with news if there’s any. Otherwise let the thread die til the next update