I'm more than slightly bored, so I'll play:
Vidal - ~ £50m transfer fee, wages £200-250k p/w (don't think Pogba will be a goer whatever we offer given the interest from elsewhere, but we know that LvG at least knows of Vidal's existence, so the problem would be getting Vidal to come to us - for that the only answer we have is high wages)
Shaw - £27m, wages ~ £100k p/w
Sanchez - ~ £30m, wages £150-200k p/w
Schweinsteiger (if he actually is available, which I have doubts about) - ~£25m, wages £150-£200k p/w
Centre-back (not sure of specific names here, but we need one to replace Vidic given our current three can't stay fit and Michael Keane can replace Rio's games) - budget ~£30m, wages £100-150k p/w
Add another £40m max to pay for signing-on fees and agent fees, then we're looking at:
~ £202m total gross (£162m transfer fees, paid in instalments as usual but lets keep it simple here) with ~ £900k p/w added to the wage bill gross (obviously Rio, Vidic, Giggs and whichever players we manage to sell will impact the net wage change).
Strootman should wait until January owing to his injury, so the package to bring him in can come out of the next transfer budget rather than the one we're working from this window.
How's that for muppetry? Anyone got Woodward's email?