An article worth reading in this season of gift-giving:
PART 1:
Strootman, Hummels, Man United hype expose flaws in transfer 'system'
Two transfer stories caught my eye in the past week. Not because they're new, quite the opposite, but because they seem so appropriate in this holiday gifting season.
You know how it works: TV, word of mouth and the other kids on the block create buzz around a toy. You decide that you desperately want it.
And it has to be a brand-name toy. You do
not want the cheaper, knockoff version, even though it costs a fraction as much and does exactly the same thing. And you probably don't want the obscure Scandinavian version either, the one made of sustainable wood and nontoxic, ergonomic, recycled polymers, the one that's pedagogical and organic but comes in an ugly brown box from an Ikea-sounding brand you've never heard of.
No, you want exactly the toy everyone is talking about. The one that's been planted in your head for the past six months. And you're convinced that if you get that -- and exactly that -- you will be happy. At least until the day after Christmas.
Roma midfielder Kevin Strootman and Borussia Dortmund defender Mats Hummels are the equivalents for many Manchester United fans. They are the holiday gifts we are told United fans absolutely must have.
They are what Tickle Me Elmo was in the mid-1990s, or Cabbage Patch Kids a decade before that.
The media, both mainstream and social, talk about them potentially coming to Old Trafford all the time. Yet Strootman and Hummels don't talk about joining Manchester United. Their clubs don't talk about them being for sale. United, at least not on the record, don't talk about wanting to buy them. All of which, of course, is understandable. It would be bad form to discuss all this in public. And, in some circumstances, it's not allowed.
So instead, you get a drip-drip flow of circumstantial stories. They fall in two categories.
Some reiterate that this is exactly what United need. Ask ex-pros what Louis Van Gaal craves to go to the next level, and so many answer in lockstep, knee-jerk fashion, citing these names. They too are part of the sales blitz, the equivalent of the soft-focus ads that run during children's cartoons.
Others are meant to provide hints that one or both is on his way. A little bit like when you spot your mom returning from the mall with a box that could plausibly contain that shiny red bicycle you so desperately need. Or when you spy dad going online and googling Barbies to see if there's anyone who can guarantee delivery by Dec. 24.
Want examples?
Last weekend, Borussia Dortmund lost to Werder Bremen. Since opening day, the club have taken just one of a possible 24 points on the road; it's a big part of the reason why they're in the relegation zone. Speaking after the defeat, Hummels was pretty downtrodden.
He talked about the fear of going down, the need to keep working hard, self-belief, and everything you'd expect a guy in his position to say. And then he added: "It's astonishing how pathetic we've been away from home."
In some reports, that turned into an "outburst" and an "attack" on Borussia Dortmund. It became Hummels giving the club both barrels and, in so doing, dropping "the clearest hint yet" that he was trying to engineer a move away from the Westfalenstadion. To where? To Old Trafford, obviously. Why else would he say how awful Dortmund had been if not to somehow force a move away? (The idea that Hummels was perhaps being honest or emotional clearly didn't cross their minds.)
Hummels and Dortmund may be struggling, but the way his words are twisted is troubling.
A somewhat more grotesque example had its genesis on Sunday, but because of the mysterious ways the media works, it didn't explode across the Web until Tuesday.
On Italian state television is a show called "90 Mo. Minuto" -- basically a late-afternoon goal highlight show. A guy named Matteo Materazzi appears on it every week, usually giving a brief roundup and analysis of transfer stories. He's the younger brother of Marco Materazzi, was a former contestant on the Italian version of "Celebrity Survivor" ("L'Isola dei Famosi") and holds a FIFA agent license. His most famous client is Genoa defender Daniele Portanova (if you know who he is, you'll catch my drift).
Matteo spoke for exactly
seven seconds on the show. He said: "The news of the day is that [Kevin] Strootman is very close to Manchester United ... 40 million euros in Roma's coffers ... to be reinvested, of course." (If you speak Italian,
you can see it here starting at around 10:50.)
Elsewhere, this sound bite became "confirmation" that the deal was just about done. After all, a FIFA agent had said so; never mind the fact that Matteo doesn't represent Strootman, Roma or Manchester United. He's a guy who comments on transfer speculation because he's had experience in the transfer market. Also, it wasn't exactly the "news of the day" because speculation about Strootman to United has been rumbling for the past 12 months and obviously intensified since Van Gaal took the job.
No matter. It's "news," just like the story that appeared in a Manchester paper in November headlined, "Strootman reveals he feels 'obligation' to Van Gaal."