Just seen the news. A lot to take in, probably got bits of this wrong but I think it's....
(1) City are a small time club... always have been, always will be
(2) The owners wanted to buy success, are impatient and used to money solving every problem
(3) So they buy loads of players for loads of money and get the best manager in the world (at the time). All at a huge salary... some off the books (allegedly)
(4) Some brave bod at City says "ummm, excuse me, what about FFP?"
(5) Brave bod gets sacked and 'disappears' (allegedly)
(6) Brave bods' boss's boss's boss says "actually, brave bod had a point, UEFA don't like clubs who spend a trillion gazillion and have 15 fans and 2 sponsorship deals"
(7) Owners say "well, spend more money then!"
(8) Big boss says "no, we need some income"
(9) Owners say "well pay fans to watch us and inflate the attendance!"
(10) Big boss says "we've been doing that for a while, I've watched 481 home games already this season and it's only October. It's not enough" (allegedly)
(11) Owners say "then make something up!!" (allegedly)
(12) Big boss says "but if UEFA find out, we'll be in bigger trouble than plain FFP"
(13) Owners (clearly frustrated now) say "THEN TELL ME HOW MUCH ONE OF MY/MY FRIENDS' COMPANY'S NEED TO SPONSOR US FOR, SEND ME A DOCUMENT TO SIGN AND LEAVE ME ALONE! I'M WATCHING TV!!!!" (allegedly)
(14) Big boss gulps and says "yes sir, sorry sir, leave it with me sir" and retreats backwards (at pace) from the room
(15) UEFA eventually finds out and says "you've been naughty, do you have anything to say for yourself?!"
(16) Big boss (owners can't be arsed to speak to UEFA) says "we're sorry, think there was an accident, we sacked someone" (releases brave bod and tells him to play ball "or else")
(17) UEFA amazingly, stupidly let them off with a warning despite everyone in the world (including remote tribes in the Amazon ... "them big cheat men") knowing they were guilty
(18) City carry on and worse
(19) Paper leaks stuff proving City breaking rules still/more and laughing at UEFA... "I still can't believe they let us off. They're so stupid, we could sell them a bridge!"
(20) UEFA really don't like the "bridge" remark (and are a little pissed about the cheating) so investigate them
(21) UEFA tell City they're guilty and are thinking about punishment
(22) City owners shout, break stuff, say "GIVE THEM MONEY!" (allegedly)
(23) UEFA say "sorry, that doesn't work with us, we can't be bought.... this time" (allegedly)
(24) City say "we'll appeal then (and tell our dads on you)"
(25) City lawyers laugh and say "appeal what, you morons? We haven't said what the punishment is yet. Lol"
(26) City lawyers shout "We'll never give in. Never!!" (then whisper "sorry Claudio, we know they're guilty but man, they're paying us shitloads! See you for squash on Tuesday?")
(27) City release statement about potential appeal and CAS (allegedly) laugh and say "appeal what, you morons? Double lolz"
(28) UEFA give City a two year ban
(29) City say "that's not fair, some of the details were leaked... and it wasn't impartial... and, and, and it's not fair, we're rich!"
(30) The entire world (apart from the 13,260 fans who attend games and are paid to say they're 3 different people) laughs at them and says "we hate you more than Liverpool. At least they earned their success and have a history that goes back beyond a week last Friday".
Then social media kicks in and we all laugh... a lot.