It has nothing to do with being defeatist. It has to do with being a realist. Attacking gun control is barking up the wrong tree. It will yield nothing, your time and effort will amount to nothing.
Time, money, effort is better spent looking for other places to attack this cycle of violence.
Since you want to call me an apologist, I'll do you one better. You're a child. You are living in a land of rainbows and unicorns. Could effective gun control do something to stop the violence? Absolutely.
Is it possible to institute effective gun control in the United States of America? Absolutely not. If you think it is possible, you have absolutely no clue what you are talking about.
How many guns are in the United States? How are you going to track them all down? How are you going to convince people who believe that they have a fundamental inalienable right to carry weapons to give theirs up? How will you stop weapons being sold illegally? How will you stop weapons being smuggled in? Why do they even need to smuggle weapons in? How will you stop people with criminal intent from getting guns? Do you honestly believe any form of gun control in the United States would have prevented this guy from getting a gun?
This isn't a question of is gun control good or bad, this isn't a question of whether I personally agree with it or not. It is a question of what is POSSIBLE. The first thing you should always do is decide if something is POSSIBLE or not.
Implementing any form of gun control that would actually stop this violence without reducing the United States to a police state is simply NOT possible with the current set of cultural and social values that exist within a very large percentage of the country.
The time and money is better spent else where. Maybe, if that time and money is well spent, in a generation or two we will see a social and cultural shift in the United States that will allow for such implementation. Until then you're living in fantasy land.