The fact that we wanted him on trial just shows how unsure we are of him, he won't start very often if he does come
As I mentioned on an earlier post (413):
My thoughts on that are, United want him to "come for a trial", so they can bring over all his immediate family also. United have a white Hiace van - similar to that of the Travelling community & they bungle them into the back of it unnoticed.
United then announce that the Costa's evaded them at Manchester Airport & they not know of their whereabouts!
They then send them to Michael Jacksons Whitener - who changes their skin colour to fair skinned!
After the skin-whitening process is complete, they then bring the Costa family to Big Chief Running Water-Clarke (the famous Native American Indian Hairdresser) - who's clinic is in a secret location in Southern Ireland, where he removes their scalp & puts in place the Ginger gene.
After a few weeks recuperation, they begin English lessons - Irish dialect!
Next up is history lessons of Ireland. They get a grounding on all things Irish day by day, and watch many dvd's of English imperialism, torture & injustice of the Irish people. Films such as Michael Collins, The Wind that shakes the Barley, The Quiet Man, Crying game, In the Name of the Father etc....
Monitoring of the progress is essential as to summarise their Irishness!
Humour is also essential to complete the process. Dvds will again be the vehicle. Films such as the Snapper, The Van, The Committments etc.. will be shown. They can use this as the bible for their humour & will be encouraged to have a few beers aswell - even the toddlers too!
After a few months when the Irishness is complete - names will be given!
Passports will then be sought through United's operatives in the Dublin Passport Office!
The family name will be agreed depending on the area (yet to be decided) and once integration within the local community is enhanced - a Manchester United scout will be on hand to move into action & who just happens to be in the local park watchin the young Costa do his stuff!
United then announce they have unearthed a young Irish lad who they believe has the potential to set the world alight for Club & Country. He signs professional forms, with United buying the lads family a big house in Manchester aswell as a big one in Ireland (location still not decided)!
Sorted - no fee to pay & again Fergie is the man