Daily Mail

Ubik said:
I bet half of them are just Caf users looking for material for this thread.
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Quite possibly, but it is a cool feature tbf. We monitor who reads our stuff more closely than you can imagine.
 
Ubik said:
You one of the lizards too, Jip?
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I'm talking about my investment website! Have never written for the DM, I was more a Telegraph man back in my freelance days.
 
Backwards bush shelter causing chaos!
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Council says it leaves more pavement space and protects you from spray.

http://www.lancashiretelegraph.co.u...nger_to_passengers__says_Hyndburn_councillor/
 
Demi Moore's daughter Tallulah Willis holds lit cigarette while standing out in red dress on walk in LA

*sigh*
 
The Mail's contracted to feature certain 'celebrities' most days in their TV & Showbiz section, Col; for example, they have strong commercial links with the Kardashians. On a lower celeb plane, remember Imogen Thomas's fifteen minutes of fame? Well, thanks to her signing with former PR guru Max Clifford in the aftermath of the Giggs affair, that fifteen minutes continues up to the present day - she has 37 pages of stories featuring her in the Mail. 37. Not just utterly non-newsworthy items like 'Imogen Thomas wears new boots on night out' but 37 pages of individual items of this banal kind.

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Max Clifford and Imogen Thomas (a week after Thomas was supposed to be on suicide watch after her 'heartbreak' over Ryan Giggs)
 
SteveJ said:
The Mail's contracted to feature certain 'celebrities' most days in their TV & Showbiz section, Col; for example, they have strong commercial links with the Kardashians. On a lower celeb plane, remember Imogen Thomas's fifteen minutes of fame? Well, thanks to her signing with former PR guru Max Clifford in the aftermath of the Giggs affair, that fifteen minutes continues up to the present day - she has 37 pages of stories featuring her in the Mail. 37. Not just utterly non-newsworthy items like 'Imogen Thomas wears new boots on night out' but 37 pages of individual items of this banal kind.

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Max Clifford and Imogen Thomas (a week after Thomas was supposed to be on suicide watch after her 'heartbreak' over Ryan Giggs)
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:lol:Being the DM they wouldn't even cover the fact she got her baps out, which is the sole thing I'd ever want to see.
 
:lol: I'm only half-joking when I write that they're far more likely to publish a story titled 'Wardrobe malfunction! Imogen Thomas narrowly avoids getting her baps out while posing on the Spectre red carpet after she wasn't invited to the premiere'.

Related content: Young people shame Britain by having fun on night out
 
SteveJ said:
:lol: I'm only half-joking when I write that they're far more likely to publish a story titled 'Wardrobe malfunction! Imogen Thomas narrowly avoids getting her baps out while posing on the Spectre red carpet after she wasn't invited to the premiere'.

Related content: Young people shame Britain by having fun on night out
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:lol:You missed her 'Halloween baby bump'. Not sure why we need five pictures of it though.

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In other Halloween news, the annual outfit rage is back- yeah, they're bad taste, but the road sign guy made me laugh, it's so bad.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/art...Bill-Cosby-Caitlyn-Jenner-Syrian-refugee.html

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Christ. By now, even Imogen must be ashamed to appear in the Mail. :D
 
Moving on from ghost BS, some classic local newspaper pics in the latest batch.

Bit over the top, this one, some might say...Always wary of these 'local character' types. Impressive they managed to drag this out from what should be a short news story to what appears to be a double-page spread.

Local character finds guy having a shit in his front garden...
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The perpetrator had even brought his own loo paper.

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"Poor Coral [the cleaner who found floorshitter], I had to give her a valium and a scotch - it is not a very nice thing to happen to anyone."

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"It's Halloween on Saturday and because I'm quite well known around here so a lot of kids come to my house, so I had to give it a good scrub - we couldn't have them falling into a turd."

There's then a strange segway into the local council shutting down council-run loos because of people cottaging.

Mr Gray said: "It was closed down because there was a lot of cottaging - there were complaints of gay guys playing with themselves.

"I am gay myself, but it is rather sad that we all have to suffer because of these gay guys cottaging."

http://www.newsshopper.co.uk/news/1...n__sparking_concern_over_lack_of_public_loos/
 
Jippy said:
Back to classic sad face

School won't specially cater for faddy kid who doesn't like cheese
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"It is pathetic because I am only asking for a small change and I am not asking for a miracle," said the brat's mum.
The brat whined said: "Cheese has a horrible smell, tastes disgusting and makes me feel ill."

http://www.nottinghampost.com/Stop-...tory-28034362-detail/story.html#ixzz3qS5JXrxQ
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Have they looked into the way cheese makes the kid feel with a dietician, nutritionist or doctor? Without a valid medical reason I wouldn't expect the school to give two shits. It's like when people who don't like onions try to get them removed from some dish...no one fecking cares unless you're allergic to it.
 
Dwazza von Moosesteiger said:
Have they looked into the way cheese makes the kid feel with a dietician, nutritionist or doctor? Without a valid medical reason I wouldn't expect the school to give two shits. It's like when people who don't like onions try to get them removed from some dish...no one fecking cares unless you're allergic to it.
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No, the school spokesman specifically says that they will cater for kids with allergies or medical reasons why they can't eat a specific ingredient.
 
That Tom Jones/DNA cartoon is disgraceful. Anyway...

Mail Online round-up:

Inevitable Recruitment News ~ guess who's their newest columnist? Clue: K_t_e Ho_ki_s

Patronising Headline of the Week: Kate Moss, 41, finally acts her age…she’s making jam!

World's tackiest pyjamas boast unfortunate spelling error:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/art...ear-set-misses-couple-letters-spell-rude.html

And finally...after years of pressurising all and sundry to wear poppies, the Mail prints two articles hitting out at those who pressurise all and sundry to wear poppies:

Why 'poppy fascism' is the height of bad taste

I'm proud to wear one, but I can't bear the 'poppy fascists'
 
SteveJ said:
World's tackiest pyjamas boast unfortunate spelling error:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3303349/That-s-not-want-pyjamas-say-Mother-three-horrified-new-11-Animal-nightwear-set-misses-couple-letters-spell-rude.html
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"Miss Wright, was offered a full refund when she spoke to head office, but said nothing can compensate her from the humiliation of having to walk into the shop and explain what had happened.

She added: 'What about my embarrassment of having to go back in there? I said I wanted a full refund and a £10 gift voucher and he said he couldn't do that.

'I literally said to him that I had purchased them and had to be embarrassed once again. I had to explain that to a male and he did a little snigger and it seemed like he didn't want to do anything for me.

'I'm still embarrassed now because I've still got to take them back. Then there's my child learning to read and wondering what it was."

She's so embarrassed she told national news all about it?
 
I often say things literally when I talk. Literally.
 
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