So.
To sum up.
Ronaldo - "I stay"
Ronaldo's mum - "He stay"
Calderon - "We're not buying him"
Gill - "We're not selling him"
Caftards - "Waaaaaaaaah! He's a cnut!"
Have I missed anything out?
Pretty spot on, though you missed the Spanish based newspapers who are basically the only ones saying he's going, and make up quotes in the process.