Red Hand Devil
Plan M ish
Calderon impressed by Ronaldo's "World Class" Tan
Real Madrid cnut Ramon Calderon admits he can do little more as he waits for a conclusion to the "soap opera" of Cristiano Ronaldo's future.
The Portugal winger has been tapped by the fascist cnuts - Real (bunch of cnuts) all summer, although United are adamant they are not prepared to sell the man whose goals helped them to Premier League and Champions League glory last season.
Ronaldo has refused to confirm whether he believes his immediate future lies at Old Trafford or the Bernabeu, but a compromise could be reached by Ronaldo finding himself on the end of one United fans boot - Mr Red Hand Devil!
Ronaldo has yet to issue a firm committment to the Red Devils, and Calderon has once again claimed that his club are little more than spectators in the matter.
"Look, this is a problem that was created by Real Madrid, we know we're a shower of cnuts, its what we do... we think we're the best club in the world & we use motivational tenhniques in front of the mirror where we shout - "you're the best - you're the best..." he told Spanish fascist sports daily AS.
"Madrid are just spectators in this soap opera. A bit like a fly around shite - although we are the best fly in the world.... and we own the shite aswell... unless someone buys the shites buy-out clause of $300,000,000".
"At the moment Manchester United and the player are in an argument about how much tan a man actually needs, and Madrid are waiting... by the poolside with oil incase Ronaldo needs a top up.... and we can't do any more for the time being."
"Obviously, it's clear that we want Cristiano here with the quality tan that he has. Its an immense tan that can only get better & more defined. It is without a doubt the best tan in the world & far superior to Kaka's tan of last year."
"Will he persuade the club to let him go & buy some extra tanning oil - thats only a question that can be answered by Cristiano & Manchester of United? I can't say that, but Ronaldo has publicly said his dream is to play for Madrid... because of the unique tanning opportunities available here in Madrid..."
"We hear those words with pride and satisfaction, we have many great chemists that sell fantastic tanning oils, but his departure doesn't only depend on Cristiano. United are the ones that have to sort it out and it will either happen or not...."
Ronaldo, who is recovering from ankle surgery, is yet to return to Manchester, but Calderon believes when he finally does it could be decisive for player and club.
"It could happen then, but it's true that we have to wait developments," he continued. "Everyone's thinking so much about this matter that people can get confused and I understand that they're fed up.
"They (United and Ronaldo) will talk next week and if after this conversation United decide to sell him, then of course Madrid will be there."
Madrid have publicly courted Ronaldo all summer, to the Premier League side's fury.
United reported the Spanish giants to FIFA, but Calderon insists his club have nothing to feel guilty about.
"I would like to remind everyone that Madrid didn't generate this expectation but the player himself," he added. "The club has been respectful.
"If he wasn't happy and wanted to leave we wouldn't fight to change his mind. But I don't think that's the case. It's absurd to plan someone's transfer if they're happy and I firmly believe that."
If Ronaldo does go to the Primera Liga champions there has been talk of massive pay package, but the Real chief insists that is not one of the reasons the 23-year-old is so desperate for a move to the Bernabeu.
"Look, when a footballer leaves a big club it's not for the money - it is for great tanning opportunities. I myself cannot tan, but it gives me great pleasure to see a young man tan so well - i fell immmense pride with that," said Calderon. "They leave because they're not happy with tan lacking opportunites, the sporting project, their family life, the local chipper not selling fish cakes, the coach and his decisions..."
"In that case it's better to let them leave. I don't want a single player in my Madrid who's unhappy. But we have the good fortune that in this Madrid the 25 we have are happy..... with all our tans....."
http://www.teamtalk.com/football/story/0,16368,2483_3886123,00.html
He's some cnut eh?!
Real Madrid cnut Ramon Calderon admits he can do little more as he waits for a conclusion to the "soap opera" of Cristiano Ronaldo's future.
The Portugal winger has been tapped by the fascist cnuts - Real (bunch of cnuts) all summer, although United are adamant they are not prepared to sell the man whose goals helped them to Premier League and Champions League glory last season.
Ronaldo has refused to confirm whether he believes his immediate future lies at Old Trafford or the Bernabeu, but a compromise could be reached by Ronaldo finding himself on the end of one United fans boot - Mr Red Hand Devil!
Ronaldo has yet to issue a firm committment to the Red Devils, and Calderon has once again claimed that his club are little more than spectators in the matter.
"Look, this is a problem that was created by Real Madrid, we know we're a shower of cnuts, its what we do... we think we're the best club in the world & we use motivational tenhniques in front of the mirror where we shout - "you're the best - you're the best..." he told Spanish fascist sports daily AS.
"Madrid are just spectators in this soap opera. A bit like a fly around shite - although we are the best fly in the world.... and we own the shite aswell... unless someone buys the shites buy-out clause of $300,000,000".
"At the moment Manchester United and the player are in an argument about how much tan a man actually needs, and Madrid are waiting... by the poolside with oil incase Ronaldo needs a top up.... and we can't do any more for the time being."
"Obviously, it's clear that we want Cristiano here with the quality tan that he has. Its an immense tan that can only get better & more defined. It is without a doubt the best tan in the world & far superior to Kaka's tan of last year."
"Will he persuade the club to let him go & buy some extra tanning oil - thats only a question that can be answered by Cristiano & Manchester of United? I can't say that, but Ronaldo has publicly said his dream is to play for Madrid... because of the unique tanning opportunities available here in Madrid..."
"We hear those words with pride and satisfaction, we have many great chemists that sell fantastic tanning oils, but his departure doesn't only depend on Cristiano. United are the ones that have to sort it out and it will either happen or not...."
Ronaldo, who is recovering from ankle surgery, is yet to return to Manchester, but Calderon believes when he finally does it could be decisive for player and club.
"It could happen then, but it's true that we have to wait developments," he continued. "Everyone's thinking so much about this matter that people can get confused and I understand that they're fed up.
"They (United and Ronaldo) will talk next week and if after this conversation United decide to sell him, then of course Madrid will be there."
Madrid have publicly courted Ronaldo all summer, to the Premier League side's fury.
United reported the Spanish giants to FIFA, but Calderon insists his club have nothing to feel guilty about.
"I would like to remind everyone that Madrid didn't generate this expectation but the player himself," he added. "The club has been respectful.
"If he wasn't happy and wanted to leave we wouldn't fight to change his mind. But I don't think that's the case. It's absurd to plan someone's transfer if they're happy and I firmly believe that."
If Ronaldo does go to the Primera Liga champions there has been talk of massive pay package, but the Real chief insists that is not one of the reasons the 23-year-old is so desperate for a move to the Bernabeu.
"Look, when a footballer leaves a big club it's not for the money - it is for great tanning opportunities. I myself cannot tan, but it gives me great pleasure to see a young man tan so well - i fell immmense pride with that," said Calderon. "They leave because they're not happy with tan lacking opportunites, the sporting project, their family life, the local chipper not selling fish cakes, the coach and his decisions..."
"In that case it's better to let them leave. I don't want a single player in my Madrid who's unhappy. But we have the good fortune that in this Madrid the 25 we have are happy..... with all our tans....."
http://www.teamtalk.com/football/story/0,16368,2483_3886123,00.html
He's some cnut eh?!