The longer this campaign goes on, the more and more shocked I get by what Trump says. And worse, that around 150 Million American people are buying it. Imagine this guy has a genuine chance, albeit more and more unlikely, of being the President of the US of A. The most powerful country in the world. I suppose that's what you get when the news is so polarised, when Survivor and Keeping up with the Kardashians are regarded as documentaries, when having a sex tape is more likely to bring riches than being genuinely intelligent or talented. And it's a sign of things to come for us, the UK and Ireland aren't far behind. Geordie Shore and X-Factor provide our youth with their idols these days.
Anyway, regardless of our impending extinction, the Donald has provided us with some great entertainment over the last year. Here are some of the highlights for me.
"The beauty of me is that I’m very rich."
"Sure, I've been called a xenophobe, but the truth is, I'm not. I honestly just feel that America is the best country and the other countries aren't as good. That used to be called patriotism."
"Robert Pattinson should not take back Kristen Stewart. She cheated on him like a dog & will do it again – just watch. He can do much better"
"Now then, I think you're body's awesome. You've got great tits. But, I'm a little concerned about your bill of health. I'm going to insist upon you using some sort of protection. I've got a dental dam in the glove compartment of my truck. You can just grab that. It's a rubber for your mouth. It's not that big of a deal, OK? And besides, it's not just for my protection. You don't know what shit I got either."
"You don't like me? Well you're the one with a fecking disability. It should be me not liking you, and yet I accept you. And you do this to me? Man, feck you, you midget."
"You know, it really doesn’t matter what the media write as long as you’ve got a young, and beautiful, piece of ass."
"One time I was invited to come to a social gathering. I was paid a hansom amount of money and I brought a shotgun and a bottle of Tanqueray and let me tell you, showed those people the best time they've ever seen. Believe me."
"It's just that we were there, and then we were... we were touching each other and then... I saw those tits, and then I started feeling your ass, and I started breathing heavy, and I almost got a headache and then my vision started to go all colorful... then I just came in my pants."
“My IQ is one of the highest — and you all know it! Please don’t feel so stupid or insecure; it’s not your fault."
"I got to tell you, I thought the blacks in Baltimore were bad, but turns out they're nothing compared to these fags you got in San Francisco."
"People often ask me, 'Donald, what are your weaknesses? Do you have any?' I would say that my biggest flaw, my achilles heel, is my tireless work ethic."
"Oh, well excuse me for being a businessman. Maybe you could learn something instead of just criticizing. Or, you know what? Just stay good at what you're doing, which is, I guess, being poor"
"If there's one thing I hate it's losing. If there's two things I hate it it's losing and getting cancer."
"Hillary, You're fecking out."