101 Uses for Emmanuel Eboue

[cesc's_mullet]

84- Funky new disco ball.

Simply stick lots of tiny mirrors onto your Eboue, hang him from the roof, shine a light on him and watch the 80's come to you...

... and who said the disco was dead?

 

[DaSPOT]

85. Is your Dog getting chubby? is he unable to fit through the dog door? well i got the right piece of excercise equipment for your dog. its the dog-boue...just unleash dogboue around your backyard or even in your house and watch your dog have hours and hours upon fun. those xtra pounds will come out quicker that hauge's showing a red card.

 

[Salvation]

86. French Accent Sharpener cum remembering tool (pun unintended).

It's not Ebou-e, its Ebou-é.

Just imagine an Arsenal right back rolling.

 

[Plechazunga]

Is your Dog getting chubby? is he unable to fit through the dog door? well i got the right piece of excercise equipment for your dog. its the dog-boue...just unleash dogboue around your backyard or even in your house and watch your dog have hours and hours upon fun. those xtra pounds will come drop out quicker that hauge's showing a red card.

I've done Dog-Walker, that doesn't count. Spastic.

86. Blue Whale Anal Scrubber

With his marvellous speed of rotation
Eboue will cleanse your cetacean
Ram him hard up its crapper
Till it's spick, span and dapper
And then give him a standing ovation.

 

[DaSPOT]

I've done Dog-Walker, that doesn't count. Spastic.

u did dog walker hmmm mines a dogboue and my product guarantee pounds off

 

[VanNistelrater]

Plech u r wel rubbash

 

[noodlehair]

Van, stop using ideas that other people have already taken. Only I'm allowed to do that

 

[vijay]

For the cable pulley machine in my Gym .

 

[Red_Aaron]

Booby Trap Spare

Dr Deaths giant boulder was broken,
And Indiana Jones was fast approaching,
But he did not worry
He just released his eboue
Who crushed indy with his rolling motion

 

[RedCanuck]

With his marvellous speed of rotation
Eboue will cleanse your cetacean
Ram him hard up its crapper
Till it's spick, span and dapper
And then give him a standing ovation.

Rhyming 'rotation' with 'cetacean' was the best.

 

[green demon]

How many birds have you pulled without your Eboue? Order now and I'll throw in an Henry car alarm designed to whine and moan at the slightest bit of contact!!

Best post in the whole thread.

 

[green demon]

Snowman Maker.

When its Winter and all is white
Leave your Eboue out all night
All night long upon the ground
Your Eboue will roll round and round
And in the morning, up you rise
It will be a lovely surprise
Instead of a whining Arsenal ponce
You'll have your snowman ready at once

 

[Im red2]

2. A Lava Lamp

Why spend silly money on a spastic glow in the dark bubble machine;

Simply get a load of these up on your computer screen, and dim the lights. Hypnotic

Duracell batteries really are fantastic.

 

[fredthered]

87 Home whine making kit - THe Chateaux neuf du Henry

Place in a bucket of sour grapes, let him roll around for 90 minutes and wait till you get a little whine out of it.

Must be drunk out of glasses because its fecking crap when placed anywhere near a cup...

 

[fredthered]

88) The Eboue catherine wheel.

Light blue touchpaper and stand well back.

 

[fredthered]

89) The Eboue London eye.

Takes an hour and a half for one rotation.....

 

[Plechazunga]

Fred, stop it.

 

[fredthered]

Fred, stop it.

I thought you wanted 101 uses...

 

[Salvation]

90) In music videos for shyte bands like Limp Bizkit.

 

[roonaldinho]

91.

Want to play crazy cricket, bowl an Eboue, see if they hit you for six.

 

[manifique]

Eboue dives and how he rolled
If he was english he would be sold
Then up popped Campell to score the goal
He finds the net and another hole.

Lehman challenges and then he's off
would this have happpened to Dino Zoff..
Henry clear through on goal
But fecks it up like Andy cole

Eto strikes to stun the crowd
The pedo wants it disallowed
Then Belletti is put through by larsson
and its all over for poor old arsene.

Its all decided by a single goal
But no one will ever beat that fecking role.

 

[Plechazunga]

93. Tool of Enlightenment

Stare at it long enough, you reach Nirvana, transcend space and time, sorrow and joy...but still hate Arsenal

 

[roonaldinho]

94. Arsenal Trophy Carrier

Won a trophy? no? oh wait...

 

[fredthered]

95 ) The Arsenal players new deal.

Its a rolling contract..

 

[noodlehair]

Loads of ideas have been used twice, but I can't be arsed to count how many

96. As a filler in a 101 uses for Emmanuel Eboue list

 

[TGA]

97. Dambuster Bomb

used in WWII

 

[noodlehair]

77. Wales Destroyer

Set on fire and release in Wales

"Wales destroyer"

 

[Mozza]

98. Self turning spit roast

A pole in the mouth and one in the arse (no need to get up Sol)

 

[Plechazunga]

99. Egg whisk

Useful if you want to make huge omelettes, that taste a bit of Emmanuel Eboue

 

[Abbsta]

100. 2 in 1 - Lint and Fluff Remover.

Suffer from those dandruff looking lint and luff on your suits, worry no more with this exclusive 2 in 1 roller. No need to strip sheets for new use, developed by NASA, you can just roll over and over.

 

[Plechazunga]

Oh dear

 

[noodlehair]

Bugger

 

[Plechazunga]

You know what you have to do Noods

Delete it

 

[golden_blunder]

ummm noods asked me to lock this

 

[golden_blunder]

bump

 

[rrarraroon]

30. Villain giant rolling device in Indiana Jones remake

 

[KingEric7]

Incredible thread never seen this one before. Made me laugh for ages.

 

[Wibble]

101. Perpetual motion engine - solution to the worlds energy problems.

 

[p_ps_sock]

101.5 An alternative to a shopping trolley for twats.

All you cnuts out there who think a shopping trolley is simply a way of pushing people out the way, why not deploy Eboue in front of you instead?

 

[Devil_3565]

can find more used for him I guess...