Television We didn't all go to Gudger College

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This is the moment we've feared, people.
Many of you thought it would never happen but I insisted we spend two hours every morning training for it.
You all thought I was mad.
Many of you requested to be transferred to another peanut factory.
- But now, we-- -
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Ned Flanders: Homer, I'm in a rhubarb of a pickle of a jam here. I was all set to go off on vacation when I get called up for jury duty. Oh, it's a corker of a case. Seems a man drove up onto a traffic island and hit a decorative rowboat full of geraniums. Now they're trying it as a maritime offense. So, anyhoo, how'd you like to use my beach house, free of charge?

Homer: I only get two weeks of vacation a year and you want me to spend it in your lousy beach house?

Ned Flanders: Well, if it'll seal the deal I'll take a look at your septic tank, see if I can get her humming again.

Homer: Deal! See, Flanders? You give a little, you get a little.
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Homer: Gomer upsets Sergeant Carter...oh, I'll never forget that episode.

Carter: Pyle!
Gomer: Shazam!
Carter: Pyle!
Gomer: Shazam!
Carter: Pyle!
Gomer: Shazam!

Homer: Heh heh heh...Shazam.
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James Taylor: Ants, huh? We had quite a severe ant problem at the Vineyard this year. I had Art Garfunkel come by with his compressor and we created a total vacuum outside the house and we blew the ants out the front door. But I'm sure you high-tech NASA people could care less about our resort-town ways.

Quiet, you...

Wait a minute, this unkempt youngster just might be onto something.
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Deprogrammer: Well, it was a grueling two weeks, but you have your son back.

Hans Moleman: Mom, Dad, I missed you.

Homer: Aww! *Kissing*

Marge: Homer, that's Hans Moleman.

Homer: Can I keep him anyway? Huh? Huh?
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Principal Skinner: (thinking) I know you can read my thoughts, Bart.
Just a little reminder, if I found out you cut class, your ass is mine.
Yes, you heard me. I think words I would never say.
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Homer: (thinking) I know you can read my thoughts, boy.
Meow-meow-meow-meow, meow-meow meow-meow,
meow-meow-meow-meow-meow. Meow-meow-meow.
 
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Students: Hahahahaha

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Homer: BWAAAHAHAHAHAHA!!
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Later On In Class...

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Homer: Heeheeheee Teeheeheee..
 
Homer: But its a thousand bucks, Mr Burns would can my butt in no time flat

Lenny: Ooohhh a thousand bucks! So what? To Mr Burns thats one less ivory backscratcher

Later, Mr Smithers tells Mr Burns one of the executives has charged 1000 dollars to the company.

Mr. Burns: BLAST HIS HIDE TO HADES! And I was going to buy that ivory backscratcher...
 
The one with the burlesque house. An absolute classic episode of distilled Simpsons' genius.
 
I can't wait for the day this is on Netflix/Lovefilm.
 
[the Red Hot Chili Peppers are performing on Krusty's show]

Krusty the Clown: Now, boys, the network has a problem with some of your lyrics. Do you mind changing them for the show?
Anthony Kiedis: Forget you, clown.
Chad Smith: Yeah, our lyrics are like our children, man. No way.
Krusty the Clown: Well, okay, but here where it says, "What I got you gotta get and put it in ya," how about just, "What I'd like is I'd like to hug and kiss ya."
Flea: Wow. That's much better!
Arik Marshall: Everyone can enjoy that!
 
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Sixpence said:
The one with the burlesque house. An absolute classic episode of distilled Simpsons' genius.
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Kent Brockman: Kent Brockman at the Action News desk. A massive tanker has run aground on the central coastline, spilling millions of gallons of oil on Baby Seal Beach.
Lisa: Oh, no!
Homer: It'll be okay, honey. There's lots more oil where that came from.

Mr Burns: I don't like being outdoors, Smithers, for one thing, there are too many fat children.
 
R.N7 said:
Kent Brockman: Kent Brockman at the Action News desk. A massive tanker has run aground on the central coastline, spilling millions of gallons of oil on Baby Seal Beach.
Lisa: Oh, no!
Homer: It'll be okay, honey. There's lots more oil where that came from.

Mr Burns: I don't like being outdoors, Smithers, for one thing, there are too many fat children.
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Principal Skinner: Oh, I hope I didn't miss the floor show.

Bart: Nope.

Principal Skinner: Is Roxanne back?

Bart: Yep.

Principal Skinner: Did she, uh, get my flowers?

Bart: She did.

Principal Skinner: [notices Bart] Hello, Bart.

Bart: Hello, Principal Skinner.

Principal Skinner: This is the National Air and Space Museum, isn't it?
 
Marge: I'm here to share my moral outrage. But this time it's not about that giant inflatable "Dos Equis" bottle. It's about a certain house in our town.

Moe: Yeah, well what's wrong with this house? Is it the plumbing?

Marge: No. It's a house of ill fame. A house of loose ethics.

Kent Brockman: Is there a building code violation? A drainage issue? A surveying error?

Marge: The house is perfectly fine!

Chief Wiggum: Well, then quit bad-mouthing the house!

Otto: Yeah, leave the house alone!
 
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Mr. Burns: Who is that lavatory links man, Smithers?

Smithers: Homer Simpson, sir. One of the fork and spoon operators from sector 7-G.

Mr. Burns: Well, he's certainly got a loose waggle. Perhaps I've finally found a golfer worthy of a match with Monty Burns, eh?

Smithers: His waggle is no match for yours, sir. I've never seen you lose a game. Except for that one in '74 when you let Richard Nixon win. That was very kind of you, sir.

Mr. Burns: Oh, he just looked so forlorn, Smithers, with his "Oh, I can't go to prison, Monty. They'll eat me alive!"

[Smithers laughs]

Mr. Burns: I wonder if this Homer Nixon is any relation?

Smithers: Unlikely, sir. They spell and pronounce their names differently.

Mr. Burns: Bah! Schedule a game and I'll ask him myself.
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Sixpence said:
Principal Skinner: Oh, I hope I didn't miss the floor show.

Bart: Nope.

Principal Skinner: Is Roxanne back?

Bart: Yep.

Principal Skinner: Did she, uh, get my flowers?

Bart: She did.

Principal Skinner: [notices Bart] Hello, Bart.

Bart: Hello, Principal Skinner.

Principal Skinner: This is the National Air and Space Museum, isn't it?
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Skinner: Yes, I admit I was in there, but I was only there to get directions on how to get away from there.

Loved that line so much.
 
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Blood on the Blackboard: The Bart Simpson story! Starring Richard Chamberlain as Principal Skinner, Joe Mantegna as Fat Tony, Jane Seymour as the woman he loved, and TV's Doogie Howser, Neil Patrick Harris, as Bart Simpson!

Tony: Bart, I'm scared. Let's get out of here.
Bart: Shut up! Where do you want it, Skinner?
[spits on him]
Bart: Not smart. [pumps him full of lead]
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The cat burglar episode. Possibly the funniest thing I have ever seen. I've just been watching the whole 5th series. The utter peak of the true genius of the writers.
 
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Lisa: Dad, I think he's an ivory dealer! His boots are ivory, his hat is ivory, and I'm pretty sure that check is ivory.

Homer: Lisa, a guy who's got lots of ivory is less likely to hurt Stampy than a guy whose ivory supplies are low.

Lisa: Mr. Blackheart, are you an ivory dealer?

Mr. Blackheart: Well, little girl, I've had lots of jobs in my day: whale hunter, seal clubber, President of the Fox Network. And, like most people, yeah I've dealt a little ivory.

Bart: Dad, you can't do this. Stampy is my friend.

Homer: Don't worry, son. I'll get you a new elephant.

Blackheart: I'll take that one too.

Homer: Done.

Blackheart: All right, I'll be back in the morning to pick up Stampy.

Homer: Here's the keys.

Blackheart: Elephants don't have keys.

Homer: Well, I'll just keep these then.
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Mrs. Krabappel: Well, children, our new ultra-hard PostCherfect chairs have arrived. They've been designed by eminent posturologists to eliminate slouching by the year 3000.

Martin: Mrs. Krabappel? I'm having back spasms...

Mrs. Krabappel: [chuckles] I know they seem a little uncomfortable right now, but eventually your bones will change shape.

Milhouse: I've lost all feeling in the left side of my body.

Mrs. Krabappel: Yeah, yeah.
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Apu: He slept, he stole, he was rude to the customers. Still, there goes the best damned employee a convenience store ever had.
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Homer: You seem pretty healthy.

Krusty: Yeah? Well I got news for you, this ain't makeup!
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Deprogrammer: Mr. and Mrs. Simpson, your son has clearly been brainwashed by the evil and charismatic Mr. Burns.

Marge: Are you sure you can get him back for us?

Deprogrammer: Absolutely. I'm the one who successfully deprogrammed Jane Fonda, you know.

Marge: What about Peter Fonda?

Deprogrammer: Oh, that was a heartbreaker. But I did get Paul McCartney out of Wings.

Homer: You idiot! He was the most talented one.
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Watching through all of it at the moment. Season 4 is unbelievably good. Last Exit to Springfield, Mr Plow, Homer the Heretic, Marge vs The Monorail all in one season and the rest of the episodes are really high quality too. Golden moments one after another. Just saw the episode where Marge's aunt has died. The kids sing a silly song in the back and Marge tells them to keep it serious as they are going to a funeral, then Homer chimes in with "Ding, dong, the witch is dead!" :lol: :lol:

I actually enjoyed season 2 more than season 3 though.
 
Bross said:
Watching through all of it at the moment. Season 4 is unbelievably good. Last Exit to Springfield, Mr Plow, Homer the Heretic, Marge vs The Monorail all in one season and the rest of the episodes are really high quality too. Golden moments one after another. Just saw the episode where Marge's aunt has died. The kids sing a silly song in the back and Marge tells them to keep it serious as they are going to a funeral, then Homer chimes in with "Ding, dong, the witch is dead!" :lol: :lol:

I actually enjoyed season 2 more than season 3 though.
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