Same. My friend Joe took his own life. Left a huge hole and humour was our only way out of it.
We literally use ‘Where are you on the Joe scale’ as a shortcut to talk about whether we need an immediate friend (a 9/10) or to catch up soon (a 4/10). Anytime someone is going through shit. We can talk about convos we have had with someone and callously say “Unless they’re pushing 8/10 on the Joe, I can’t find time until next week”. Freely understanding that people would use the same terminology about me.
There’s only so long you can analyse and unpack. Humour lets air in and takes the weight out of things, letting healing start.