The RedCafe Annual Awards 2011 | First Page Edited With Insults

:(

Well, I can’t say I’m surprised I’m coming home with this award, I am humble in feeling that maybe it is undeserving so I do owe a lot of thanks to the Caf’ for making this possible.
Worst n00b promoted, where do I begin? Am I a terrible newbie? Am I, as suggested by my name, a cnut? All rhetorical questions of course.
Fist let me begin by reminding all that without a Kid Cunto there would be no SteveJ, no good without bad. No Ying without Yang. I like to think I’ve provided the Caf’ with this wonderful Welsh lad.
I’ve enjoyed my rollercoaster of a year with the Caf’, I feel I’ve lots more to offer and contribute to this wonderful forum, given the chance of course. I’m grateful I’ve yet to be banned, if I am as bad as made out to be, that is. I’m also apologetic towards moses and brewlio, two wonderful men, without them I wouldn’t be here, I let them down. Also apologises to Sally Cinnamon and Luminous Lizard, two posters I was promoted with, who I’ve also surely disappointed.
I’m Kid Cunto, worst newbie promoted 2011, but I’m your worst newbie. Good Craig, good Craig indeed.

Can I just say that at the time of promotion, there wasn't a single poster that misused the apostrophe key on his keyboard more than this motherfecker did? At the very least he has used them correctly in the post I've quoted above. Just goes to show that being the worst isn't necessarily a bad thing (okay, that's a bit of a stretch), but also an opportunity for improvement.
 
As bonus info here are the words that got Kid Cunto promoted in the Promotions Mod Thread:

Kid Canto is a top lad.

6 months later Cunto's awarded "Worst Newbie".

Moses couldn't make it tonight, he says he's ill.
 
As bonus info here are the words that got Kid Cunto promoted in the Promotions Mod Thread:



6 months later Cunto's awarded "Worst Newbie".

Moses couldn't make it tonight, he says he's ill.

:lol:
 
bazalini received 9 votes out of 34. Geebs received 4 for scarring the newbies for life. Olly received 3 for terrorizing RAWK with a Sky Sports poll. peterstorey received 3 as well for being peterstorey.
 
Scholesy once told me to leave him alone, I got him a monkey

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As bonus info here are the words that got Kid Cunto promoted in the Promotions Mod Thread:



6 months later Cunto's awarded "Worst Newbie".

Moses couldn't make it tonight, he says he's ill.

:lol:
 
Worst Banning

He was just like the Hurricane in that movie The Hurricane: a posh boy from Dalkey working in a petrol station as a social experiment. But the similarities didn’t end there; he was also punished for a crime he didn’t commit. Or at least a crime he did commit and boasted about for some unknown reason, then refused to admit to and take a slap on the wrist and then took to Facebook to complain about his banning and how the mods took this place too seriously. Not seriously enough to set up a Facebook page to moan about the Caf, but seriously enough to really annoy some people. Actually now that I think about it, The Hurricane was a fecking shit movie. But regardless, he’s a good lad who did his time in the newbs and it’s good to have him back in the mains.

The winner of this year’s worst banning award is Cold Zebra



:lol: My banning was like a game of Chinese Whispers. Half of that stuff never happened. Anyway, I'm off to watch the hurricane on this.

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Cheers folks!
 
bazalini received 9 votes out of 34. Geebs received 4 for scarring the newbies for life. Olly received 3 for terrorizing RAWK with a Sky Sports poll. peterstorey received 3 as well for being peterstorey.

Storey is wumming on a too sophisticated level for most of the plebeian caftards to appreciate.

He has actually decided to be entirely serious about Wenger's ten year plan and what not. Longterm. He is relentless in his dedication.
 
Kryptix was second in the Worst Newbie voting with 5/32. Burrow managed to snag 4 votes in such a short time since his promotion.
:lol: Atleast I got voted 2nd best newbie of the year in the newbie-awards!
Burrow feels like he has been here forever and I can pay him no lower compliment than that.

:D We had such a great PM-exchange when I was still in the newbies, B19. I was the one who made that Breaking Bad-picture of you!
 
As bonus info here are the words that got Kid Cunto promoted in the Promotions Mod Thread:



6 months later Cunto's awarded "Worst Newbie".

Moses couldn't make it tonight, he says he's ill.

:lol:

These awards have been a good laugh.
 
As bonus info here are the words that got Kid Cunto promoted in the Promotions Mod Thread:



6 months later Cunto's awarded "Worst Newbie".

Moses couldn't make it tonight, he says he's ill.

:lol::lol:
 
Creepiest Poster Of The Year 2011

This one was a tight run thing between Weaste and Girish, with just one vote (and gladly a few thousand miles) separating them. And for a while it looked like Girish’s molestation of a young woman on a bus was going to win the day, but that would have been to underestimate just how long Weaste’s lenses are, so to speak.

This was always going to be Weaste’s backup award, the one he knew he had in the bag even if the one he really wanted didn’t fall his way. If he wasn’t posting pictures of random women that he’d snapped from the window of his wanking room, I mean, office, he was charming the ladies of the forum with gems like:

WeasteDevil said:
I'm not too sure how intimate both of you are, but if you both ever had proper sex without some plastic-rubber compound being involved in the process I'd gladly lick his juices out of your jammy. Is he overly salty though? Not really a fan of overly salty!

All that being said he isn’t on the register, and we’ve been advised that the chances of making the charges stick are somewhat slim, so your Creepiest Poster of 2011 is Weaste Dildo.
 
Creepiest Poster Of The Year 2011

This one was a tight run thing between Weaste and Girish, with just one vote (and gladly a few thousand miles) separating them. And for a while it looked like Girish’s molestation of a young woman on a bus was going to win the day, but that would have been to underestimate just how long Weaste’s lenses are, so to speak.

This was always going to be Weaste’s backup award, the one he knew he had in the bag even if the one he really wanted didn’t fall his way. If he wasn’t posting pictures of random women that he’d snapped from the window of his wanking room office, he was charming the ladies of the forum with gems like:



All that being said he isn’t on the register, and we’ve been advised that the chances of making the charges stick are somewhat slim, so your Creepiest Poster of 2011 is Weaste Dildo.

Amongst other things.
 
To be fair, Weaste was the only one with the guts to google further when I started my 'jailbait' thread. Well deserved.
 
I'm not too sure how intimate both of you are, but if you both ever had proper sex without some plastic-rubber compound being involved in the process I'd gladly lick his juices out of your jammy. Is he overly salty though? Not really a fan of overly salty!

There are some posts which you can tell who wrote them without seeing the name. That post there is one of them, and most of Weaste's fall under that category.
 
I actually searched for that quote, thinking it was real.

The wonders of Weaste.
 
Worst Caf Moment

A lot of us expected the Worst Caf Moment to be the Caf being down for two days. But no, true to form the people of the Caf have shown us that what they really get upset by, what really grinds their gears, is when someone tries to stop them looking at scantily clad women and their tits. For the Mods the whole Googlegate thing was a pain in the arse as we had to search through hundreds of threads looking for dirty pictures, of which there were a lot.
But for you lot it seems that you didn’t want the Man telling you which celebrities you could and couldn’t post pictures of in their underwear, in wet t-shirts, or even with bizarrely massive foreheads (sorry, Boss). Essentially you were all helping each other to wank.

The Worst Caf Moment as voted for by you is Google forcing us to shut the old General Forum