The Banter Era
- Thread starter sugar_kane
- Start date
van Gaal repeatedly calling Chris Smalling, "Mike"
van Gaal calling QPR, "Squeeze Park Raisins"
Woodward leaving the preseason tour to conduct "urgent transfer business" and us not signing anyone for weeks (and that person being Fellaini, for more than his release clause)
Marcos Rojo's toast
Zaha (allegedly) shagging Moyes' daughter
Zaha (allegedly) being the only player to not turn up for an "optional" preseason training session under van Gaal
Buttner leaving us for Dynamo Moscow and saying it was to play Champions League football
That league cup game against MK Dons
Pretty much everything Moyes said and did "make it difficult" for shit teams, etc.
Feeling like very home game under Moyes started with the commentator going "[shite team] haven't won at Old Trafford in a millenia" and us inevitably losing
It transpiring that Solskjaer and Phelan basically had nothing to do with training sessions
van Gaal calling QPR, "Squeeze Park Raisins"
Woodward leaving the preseason tour to conduct "urgent transfer business" and us not signing anyone for weeks (and that person being Fellaini, for more than his release clause)
Marcos Rojo's toast
Zaha (allegedly) shagging Moyes' daughter
Zaha (allegedly) being the only player to not turn up for an "optional" preseason training session under van Gaal
Buttner leaving us for Dynamo Moscow and saying it was to play Champions League football
That league cup game against MK Dons
Pretty much everything Moyes said and did "make it difficult" for shit teams, etc.
Feeling like very home game under Moyes started with the commentator going "[shite team] haven't won at Old Trafford in a millenia" and us inevitably losing
It transpiring that Solskjaer and Phelan basically had nothing to do with training sessions
Inter sharing a photo of our captain Vidic signing a contract with them even though it was still only March.
SNAFU, cock-ups, feck-ups, embarrassing episodes or moments, shambolic, incompetence etc.
Plenty of that and it still keeps on coming….but what has that to do with “Banter”?
Unless it‘s your mates giving you a friendly wind up.
Plenty of that and it still keeps on coming….but what has that to do with “Banter”?
Unless it‘s your mates giving you a friendly wind up.
van Gaal using two of our three available subs to change the full-backs seemingly every game, and those full-backs being Paddy McNair, Tyler Blackett, Cameron Borthwick-Jackson, Reese James and Donald Love.
The fact that those 3 have played double figure PL games for United... And since leaving have not come close to featuring in a PL game. Borthwick Jackson has mainly lumbered around league 1 and league 2
Wasn't there a game where Ole played about 6 full backs including subs. Think it was a loss and might have been a European game.
- Hiring Moyes
- Buying Fellaini and paying 4M more because Moyes dont want to activate the release clause
- Our abysmal treatment of Bastian Schweinsteiger
- Buying Di Maria for 69M and not even knowing where to play him
- Hiring Darren fecking Fletcher as technical director
- Switching to Jose Mourinho from LVG and stupidly hiring Ole. 3 polars of coaching paradigm
- Sanchez for free
- Buying Mkhitaryan and not knowing his best position
- Maguire 80M
- AWB 50M
- Extending Martial, De Gea, Rashford contract for way too much than their actual abilities
- Making Maguire Captain
- Buying Ajax rejects Antony. They're laughing all the way to the bank
“We aspire to be like Man City”
“We’ll make it difficult for them”
Mourinho shitting on the club with his heritage speech.
Mourinho purposely arguing with Pogba in front of the fans
LVG talking about orgasms or something
Ole saying trophies are for egos
“We’ll make it difficult for them”
Mourinho shitting on the club with his heritage speech.
Mourinho purposely arguing with Pogba in front of the fans
LVG talking about orgasms or something
Ole saying trophies are for egos
Bring back Ronalod!
Signing Odion Ighalo as a stop-gap forward on loan under the assumption that it was a one-time thing only to then sign Wout Weghorst about a season and a half later.
Didn't Vidic announce it himself too? That was strange and just showed how much some of our veteran players disliked Moyes.
What a ten years it's been
We also made a bid out of nowhere for Sami Khedira. Then we signed Fabio Coentrao on loan but it fell through because we didn't get the paperwork in time. What a day that was.
I love how no one has mentioned the fever dream that was the "Rangnick era".
A new leak every day in December 2021. With the culprits never officially found.
The players mocking the coaching team, with Chris Armas being dubbed "Ted Lasso".
Before going on to win 2 matches in 10 following being knocked out of the Champions League by A. Madrid. Finishing on our lowest points total in the Premier League era.
People have retroactively said EtH picked up a great squad and did alright the season after...
A new leak every day in December 2021. With the culprits never officially found.
The players mocking the coaching team, with Chris Armas being dubbed "Ted Lasso".
Before going on to win 2 matches in 10 following being knocked out of the Champions League by A. Madrid. Finishing on our lowest points total in the Premier League era.
People have retroactively said EtH picked up a great squad and did alright the season after...
"You'll need more than that here, son."
van Gaal said McNair would be our right back for the next 10 years. McNair has since come out and said he's not even a defender.
The Adult Disneyland comments pretty much embody the last 10 years.
I still can't fecking believe we allowed that
Our players/their PR teams posting essays on twitter after every bad result. Thankfully put an end to that!
This is not true. Dave was in the form of his life when we gave him that contract.
I worked at Basties house for about 4 weeks. Mental about all football really bought into United and wanted desperately to be a success.
Treated dreadfully..
Don't think I'll ever see more crosses in one game in my life.
"We need to improve in defence, midfield and attack."
David Moyes post match press conference.
David Moyes post match press conference.
Mm not sure if that's quite true, I seem to recall him going to shit a bit before that.
I'm not suggesting it's in any way just De Gea's fault, but we lost/drew our last 7 games of that season, inc. shipping 4 against Everton. No clean sheets in any of them. Total league goals conceded wasn't great either.
Are you thinking of when he nearly went to Madrid? He was in great form the season before that.
This honestly did my head in, it became a parody.
Don't think I'll ever see more crosses in one game in my life.
We made a 1000 crosses that season. 8% of them came in that game.
I came in here just to post this. It's when I knew this wasn't the same club I supported anymore.The fax machine debacle
David Moyes' 81 crosses
David Moyes downplaying the Man Utd-Liv derby
Loius Van Gaal's ''pass around but don't shoot'' mission.
Ole's claim he ''doesn't need trophies to massage his ego''
The current Maguire transfer collapse.
David Moyes' 81 crosses
David Moyes downplaying the Man Utd-Liv derby
Loius Van Gaal's ''pass around but don't shoot'' mission.
Ole's claim he ''doesn't need trophies to massage his ego''
The current Maguire transfer collapse.
I was actually stunned that no-one got in that little rat's face after what he did.
Looking at who else was on the pitch when it happened maybe it's not that surprising it's a fairly uninspiring bunch:
- de Gea
- Fosu-Mensah
- Smalling
- Blind
- Valencia
- Carrick
- Lingard
- Fellaini
- Martial
- Rashford
Harold the Squire being made the captain of your club is the biggest embarrassment of the last ten years. Especially when you had Ronaldo , not that he performed well or would definitely make a good captain , But its hilarious thinking about Maguire trying to tell Ronaldo to do something.
Maguire was already captain for 2 years before Ronaldo turned up
Being beaten 2-0 by Spurs without Kane. Still deep in the era for me.
I know. (Sorry i made it sound like he was made captain whilst ronaldo was there) It was a mistake made 2 years before Ronaldo joined, but the image of Maguire being one the greatest players evers' captain is hilarious/embarrassing . Not sure how ronaldo would have fared as captain but you can't have someone like Maguire over Ronaldo as captain. Maguire should never ever have been captain of the club. The epitome of how the clubs standards have plummeted
Thank you for this. Some much needed levity. I like how we've turned the accounting side into pure banter.
Signing players on inflated fees and tripling/quadrupling their wages to artificially inflate their book value (e.g. Sancho £80kpw to £350kpw, Sanchez £130kpw to £500kpw, Mount £80kpw to £250kpw).
Activating players' 1 year contract extensions with no intention of ever playing them, to maintain their mythical book value, because REASONS.
Activating players' 1 year contract extensions with the intention to sell them and recouping a transfer fee (bahahaha pure #businessbantz).
Giving Juventus 2 Paul Pogbas and £90m for a bunch of haircuts and social media outreach.
Promoting the absolute clown shoes behind these policies (Woodward, Murtough and Arnold) and keeping 2 of them in place til this day.
This thread has the potential to get more pages than the takeover thread.
Moyes's first press conference still gives me nightmares! The man looked completely terrified and I just knew it was going to be a disaster on every level...............the total collapse of a title winning football team. 