Me and my mate were enjoying a drink at a bar by the west stand when we heard some commotion out of eye shot. Poked our heads round the corner and low and behold it's Big Meeks pinning that Woolwich tart up against the wall, Keane growling beside. The tart had a loudmouth.
As Meeks pinned the Arsenal fan against the wall, Keano's tone deepened. He looked so f***ing pissed. Like 20 years just rolled back and the red mist had descended. There was a crowd around that fell into a stunned hush as everyone wondered how Roy would react.
With a sly grin, Roy leaned in close to the Arsenal fan and whispered, "You know, lad, that headbutt was almost as weak as Arsenal's defence has been the last 15 years."
The crowd erupted in laughter, and even Big Meeks couldn't help but chuckle as he released the idiot from his grip. The Arsenal fan, his face turning red, stammered, "I...I just got carried away, Roy." Roy rebutted "Carried away? Carried away like the Arsenal defence when they tried to play a high line against an oncoming Shea'sy back in 05" The crowd, even the Arsenal fans among them were in utter hysterics, whilst the perpetrator looked like he needed his mum and was about to cry.
Just as the Arsenal fan was getting thoroughly humiliated, the sound of the door swinging open caught everyone's attention and there were three police officers.
Roy, always one to seize an opportunity, decided to teach him a lesson himself before the cops could take over. "Listen here officers," Roy began, "This guy's made a right fool of himself, but let him off the hook this time" he turned back to the arse fan "but you owe me an alcohol free pint at the reverse fixture. And you better be wearing a Man United jersey when you hand it over." Roy then seemed to offer the guy hospitality tickets for the game at OT in the spring. Me and my mate looked at each other gobsmacked.
The prat nodded in agreement and thanked Roy for his humble mercy. The crowd cheered for Roy, a few people offered him a drink but he had to explain that he's quit alcohol, and has to be down pitch side quickly for Sky.
Made my day.