I worked on this a while back but never posted (to FB)... it's not finished tbh, still in draft form, and I may never actually post. My family and friends know my belief but I don't act militant about it, or interject when I see religious posts. Herego...
My path to atheism. I'm not afraid to admit my belief, or lack thereof.
I once saw a Facebook post from a former coworker, "You don't believe in God. How could you not believe in God?"
I chose not to comment. My comment would do nothing positive in regards to the post. It would only draw negative comments from believers, typical pointing of the fingers by Christians, and perhaps a few supportive comments from nonbelievers. My journey to atheism came about as my own intellect and enlightenment developed. It also helped reading scriptures with an open mind and not a closed off mind that relies on faith when normal human questioning (instinct) occurs. Cognitive dissonance plays a large role in our beliefs, more on that later.
I grew up in the suburbs of Fort Worth, TX. One thing that most Texans share is a religious foundation. I attended church often in my childhood days, mostly through parental inference (parental in this circumstance means grandparents; I was raised most of my life by my grandparents). Raised Baptist but often questioning things that simply bewildered a young child. Stuff like talking snakes, man living inside a whale, unicorns, a great flood, thousands of animals on a boat with only a few humans, a dead man raised up, a planet less than 10,000 years old. The kind of things that through education we are taught to question, to seek evidence. Yet in the religious world we are to not question scripture but rely on faith. I was often left without answers.
Faith. Faith is basically a belief without evidence to support. I would often wonder why God didn't just show up. Why weren't miracles of biblical proportions still in existence today. Why did this God that led millions of Jewish slaves out of Egypt turn his back on millions of Jews in Nazi Germany (btw, there is zero evidence of Jewish slaves in Egypt as Exodus reports; lots of evidence of Jewish prisoners in Nazi Germany). Why would this God allow kids to starve to death, and other kids to be murdered and/or raped by adults? A god as arrogant and vain as the one depicted in the Old Testament would certainly ensure his/her/its presence is known to all. Anyone that reads scriptures with an open mind, not as a religious apologist, would see this view.
I stuck with my faith through the years but things began to change as I aged into my 20s. I noticed a far less need for the social network that church offered in my youth. I felt an independence in myself that I could achieve things in life, not rely on prayer to achieve, and made friends through various channels. The questioning of religion from my youth would spring in my head here and there but I simply continued on as a believer but not as a regular practitioner of faith or church goer. Technically, I did as the oft-quoted Bible instructed, to pray in private, and not make a public spectacle of it (which seemingly is the way most religious are, blasting their beliefs in public and judging all others).
September 11, 2001, began a change in my belief system. We were attacked by a very small pocket of radicals that had their ideology, and their interpretations of their religious scripture led them to believe they were acting in the name of their god. Funny enough, it's not limited to that group of radicals - plenty of Christians have often acted in accord to their own ideology, all religions have. "Which god is right?" became the new question. A question that can be answered easily today - none. There is no god. There are no gods.
A loving god simply would not allow madness on this scale to exist. A loving god would not allow famine, genocide, pillage, rape, and so much more. My travels across the US and the rise of the internet that allowed people from different cultures to interact, had exposed me to various beliefs, various answers to questions that were never answered by the supposed "wise" elders of the clergy and family in youth. But still I carried on in the months following 9/11 with a loose belief of god. No more devout belief. Very little faith. I was more agnostic than anything else. I couldn't prove nor disprove the existence of a possible creator.
Finally, December 26, 2004, Boxing Day. This would be my awakening so to speak. A tsunami struck the Indian Ocean and rocked many islands and countries in the surrounding area. We had little warning. The waves came in at speeds of an airliner. Over 200,000 people would perish that day. Children, animals, people of all nationalities, of all races, and of all religions died. Businesses were destroyed, cities and towns as well. Some of the most religious people in the world died that day. People that believed fully in a god that loved him or her. Where was this god? No where to be found, per usual. I guess he was too busy helping politicians con constituents, crooks steal more money from the unsuspecting, murders and genocides, and on and on and on. Free will, the greatest religious apology on record, is often the response to evil, bad deeds, and whatnot. It's an admission of, "Good point. Hmm. I can't explain that either." So we blame the bad things on Satan, the poor sod.
My faith had now been replaced by a new belief, or lack of belief is more apt - atheism. God is simply a creation of man, created in primitive eras when man couldn't explain the sun, the moon, the stars, the rain, the droughts, the famine, and death. Humans have this innate need to know beginning and end, we know we are not immortal, and thus the afterlife is created to satisfy our empathy, our desire to reunite with deceased loved ones. to satiate our fear of death. Polytheism dominated for centuries then came monotheism. And soon enough a god was credited will all the good but what/who was responsible for the bad? Enter the creation of the devil, or Satan. Then came the Romans circa 100 CE. If you truly want to understand why the Christianity we know today exists, do some (open minded) research on the Romans influence between 100-400 CE, and pay close attention to Constantine, amongst other Roman emperors.
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